Murphy Cleans House: McCarthy, Capers, Thompson Fired! (next year) Well, it came to a premature end, but capping off the 2015 season was indeed a Rush. The Mrs. was already out in the driveway warming up the car while us men stayed steadfast in our buddy’s living room until the very last play was over and all of his beer was consumed. We all jumped up and half-skip/danced when the Working Man, Jeff Janis, thrilled us with a long bomb reception that split double coverage to eat up more than half the field with just a few ticks left on the clock, and then caught that Hail Mary pass (again in double coverage) with no time left to get within 1 point of the Cardinals. Janis proved that he could Fly by Night defenders in front of the largest-ever Saturday NFL primetime TV crowd, and vindicated all of Packer nation who screamed for his number to be called throughout the season. Too bad McCarthy waited until the last game of the year to give him a shot. But, In the End, McCarthy in essence said the Best I Can do is lay-up and cross my fingers in overtime. When questioned in the post-game conference why he bucked conventional wisdom (to go for the 2-point conversion when on the road in order to win the game instead of yielding to the home team for overtime), McCarthy said "Quite frankly, I have a loser mentality. I'm tired of all the negativity by the media and I knew that if we lost in overtime I could blame my players for failing to execute, or blowing coverage, or being too fat, instead of me getting blamed for failing to prepare my receivers for a game winning situation with the best QB in the league from the 1.5 yard line when their defense is gassed from chasing us all over the entire length of the field late in the 4th quarter on our final possession … and you can put that in big capital letters." Of course that did not sit well with Packers President Mark Murphy, and he publically put McCarthy on notice after ‘the last straw’ when the coach was spotted in Lakeside Park near Chicago. Quoting Murphy, “Myself and the entire Packers organization is deeply concerned regarding Mike’s tendencies as of late, and I made it clear to him that he either returns to the Packer Way and wins the next 2 consecutive Super Bowls to validate his distinguished position as Packers head coach, or he’ll find himself inhaling Ditka’s rectal air on the set of ESPN Sunday Countdown.” Reflecting back to 1919, we have won 13 championships since then with 97 different Packer teams. Looking forward, we should expect more than 13 additional Lombardi trophies from the next 97 Packer teams between now and 2112. Mark Murphy does, and he is ready to clean house. His 1st decision will be who to replace Ted Thompson with (and when). The good news is that Murphy has a Plan A and Plan B... either snare John Schneider (DePere native) away from the Seahawks, or promote current Director of Bad Draft Picks, Eliot Wolf. You can’t get Something for Nothing so Coach suspects a GM swap between the teams, because Schneider holds Green Bay Closer to the Heart. Then the new GM will have to decide whether to replace McCarthy with Darrell Bevell or Jim Harbaugh (both with Wisconsin ties: Bevell the Rose Bowl winning QB at UW, Harbaugh’s parents live in Mequon and his dad was an associate athletic director at Marquette). Coach isn’t a betting man, but I can see the forest through The Trees and my odds are that Schneider / Harbaugh will combine for 8 Lombardi trophies in 10 years for Green Bay (4 in a row, twice, owing to a freak rash of injuries once every 5 years or so). This Coaching hire should also help the Badgers football team. That said, Mark Murphy has Freewill do choose whomever he wants, but the sooner the better because McCarthy mediocrity must go. This isn’t a Witch Hunt… the fact is that McCarthy always chokes in the Limelight because he can’t handle success – just like he warned us when he got hired. This Coach is convinced now more than ever that the Packers players won Super Bowl 45 despite Mike McCarthy, not because of him. (ouch) We still have The Weapon, Aaron Rodgers, but the Countdown is ticking on his career. The time for change is NOW, people. I might sound like I’m Losing It, but really as a fan and an owner of the Packers I have the right to expect championships every year and stop settling for 10-6 seasons with early playoff exits. So Murphy’s Distant Early Warning of requiring that McCarthy deliver 2 Super Bowl wins in the next 2 years is about right: that achievement would put McCarthy’s average SB wins/year on par with the standard, Bill Belichick (Click on link). But we’re gonna need to wrangle a few key free agents to fill some holes, and that will likely take Big Money. Here’s are some interesting UFA candidates in areas of need: Tight Ends: Vernon Davis, Anquan Boldin, Antonio Gates, Rocky Chair Line Backers: Danny Trevathan, Von Miller, Sean Weatherspoon, Will Notpay Offensive Linemen: Jake Long, Mike Adams, Russell Okung, Buzz Killington Wide Receivers: Dough Nut, Zip Zilch, Nada Wun, James Jones History tells us, though, that Time Stands Still for Ted Thompson during the free agency fury. Not that Ted NEVER gets ahold of free agents from other teams; but, instead of paying for the best playmakers at a position of need, Ted tends to deal with second-tier "bargain" players who don’t stand a Ghost of a Chance to make a difference (with maybe 2 exceptions). If I Cut to the Chase we probably will need to give away Half the World in order to get decent talent, but it worked for Elway this year … He fired coach John Fox after not returning to the Super Bowl 1-year removed from it because he couldn’t get that One Little Victory. By doing so, Elway’s actions spoke louder than words for the Shape of Things to come in Denver, and then he doubled down by bringing in top tier free agents to become the best defense in the league overnight – and now here they are with home field advantage on the cusp of another Super Bowl only 1-year later. So We Hold On with Hope that Ted will finally decide to go for a major upgrade, too. ...but I doubt it. Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme Rodgers hopes we will long remember his 2015 performance with the two wonderful bombs from him to Janis on that last drive of the game against the Cardinals. He needs us to -- in order to cover up for his mistakes, big and small, in that game and others, that have taken away yards, points, and wins. ARod has made way too many uncharacteristic errors this year reading defenses before the snap and identifying the open man, with indecision inside and outside the pocket, and ignoring entire chunks of the field (for example in AZ, the area occupied by Patrick Peterson). Pile on his almost human-like imprecision this year (reference his bad "mechanics" throwing off the back foot and side-arm slings -- more on that later), and searching (in vain) for the big play deep at the expense of the effective check-down or developing underneath route (see also, Troy Aikman to Emmitt Smith in the early 90's). All of which brought ARod to have a Cutler-esque passer rating of only 65.5 (22/38, 160 yards, 1 TD and 1 INT) before the last desperate final drive in AZ, and down to 92.7 this year overall (his worst in his 8 years as a starter) amongst his career passer rating of 104.1. See for yourself. These are just some examples from the AZ and MN games, but they pretty much represent ARod’s m.o. for the whole year... WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like Once again, we got hosed by the ref’s. The last Cardinals touchdown was no touchdown at all. Recall the ball was deflected and popped up toward the back of the endzone where a AZ receiver was standing to catch it. Chris Collinsworth said after the touchdown as NBC showed the replay, “…and if you’re a Packer fan this is just going to be salt in your wound when you see the illegal pick and holding by the receiver before he caught the deflected ball for a touchdown.” Well said, Chris, well said. Before AZ’s last field goal, you remember it … they got the ball when we didn’t convert a 1st down because the ref’s didn’t call a blatant pass interference on Jared Abbrederis which would have either been a 1st down catch or a penalty 1st down. So instead of continuing a touchdown march being behind only by 4, we had less than a minute to go with 90 yards in front of us and being down by 7. Yet, we pulled it off. And how about that coin toss? Didn't flip! (Click on link) In the post-game interview, Rodgers says that he always calls the opposite side of what the ref shows before he flips it. The ref had a “heads” showing, so Rodgers called “tails” but the coin never flipped – it just went straight up and down! Then the ref picked up the coin and put the “tails” side up, but didn’t let Rodgers re-call it (which he would have changed to “heads”), and when the coin landed heads-up the Cardinals were awarded the ball. Amazing – the ref’s managed to screw us even with the coin toss. But it should have never gotten to that point!… WHY DIDN’T MCCARTHY GO FOR 2???!!!???!!!???!!! Oh, I heard him after the game… “I didn’t feel comfortable with the personnel we had to run that play.” Soooo many reasons to fire him just for a dumbass statement like that. Here are just a couple:
The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof They hail from the Land of Stinkin’ and they are the poopshoot of the NFC North Division again this year: The Chicago Bears! This can’t be good … the Bears have 20, count ‘em, 20 Unrestricted Free Agents this year. That’s almost HALF of the team’s roster. Those sorts of numbers would kill any halfway respectable NFL team, but in the Bears case most of these players wouldn’t make any other NFL team's roster anyways so it should be a lesser impact on them than it would be on real NFL caliber teams. Realistically, other than Alshon Jeffery and Matt Forte, you probably wouldn’t even recognize the names of the other 18 guys unless you have a police scanner. I would imagine neither of those guys will want to stay in Chicago any longer (one can only stand so much losing), so the Bears will suck even worse next year. It would be funny if the Packers picked up Alshon Jeffery (who, BTW, would probably produce more than Randall Cobb so we could let Cobb and his salary go) and then he scored several touchdowns against the Bears next year – you know, for the fun of just sticking it to them. Udder Stuff – commentary from the Badger Underground Now we cherry pick the great Badgers out there who really belong back here to play for Green Bay. For the tippy top talent we would need to pull off some blockbuster trades to get J.J. Watt (give Houston three 1st rounders -- 1 in this year’s draft, plus toss in Datone Jones and Nick Perry for good measure) and Joe Thomas (give the Cleveland Browns our Bahktiari and another backup lineman and a 1st rounder in 2017), and undoubtedly these fellas would give us a hometown discount on salary just for the chance to suit up for the Packers. In a much less flashy move, we can trade Eddie Lacy to San Diago for Melvin Gordon III in a “sometimes it’s just putting the player in the right situation” situation. We need a TE (or 2, or 3) and a Punter, so we get Lance Kendricks from L.A. in exchange for water and common sense, and Brad Nortman is a UFA. Two draft picks in late rounds: Derek Watt FB/TE, and Tanner McEvoy as a Special Teams juggernaut and journeyman (Safety, Wildcat, etc.). Shoot, even McCarthy could win 11 games with that lineup. We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Presuming we can't simply load up with Badger talent, winning the next game / division / conference / Super Bowl will take a very successful GM effort by Ted. It's not complicated, though. Coach agrees with the Wolf/Thompson first-step to resign your own. After all, you pretty much know exactly what you're getting. Don’t be afraid to let guys go, though, even if they’re good in the locker room. We need the BEST players. The next easy step is to take the best available player in the 1st round. Going for need in lieu of the best talent on the board in round 1 usually doesn't work out as well as anticipated (see also, Jamal Reynolds, Antaun Edwards, Ahmad Carroll, Justin Harrell, Derek Sherrod, Nick Perry, Datone Jones, you get the idea). None of these guys ever made the Pro Bowl (some of them never made the starting lineup), but Pro Bowlers and future Hall of Famers WERE drafted after these guys because they had superior talent – and that is what you go for in the 1st round: superior, game-changer talent, regardless of the position. TT did this when he picked Aaron Rodgers, Clay Mathews, and Bryan Bulaga, and I think those paid off. Go for needs in subsequent rounds or even free agency, when the risk/reward ratio is much less. It’s ok to draft in a position of need if the guy also happens to be the 1 or 2 best available talents, but that’s a very fortunate nice-to-have. The largest position of need this year for the draft is probably Left Tackle (earlier rounds), because Bahktiari is pretty good, but not elite. Plus he’s a free agent in 2017 and we need depth with talented O-linemen (see also, our line sucked this year). Other than LT the only screaming need (to me) is TE, and there ain’t a whole lot of UFA’s out there to make our team better. We have to get a 6'5" plus, 4.6-4.7 / 40 up-the-seam guy. We seem to be the only team in the league without one. Interesting prospects are Hunter Henry from Arkansas and Jake McGee out of Florida (both are 6’-6” and roughly 255-lbs, with a 40’s of 4.7). A late-round project could be Darion Griswold of Arkansas State (6’-5” at 264-lbs and a 40 of 4.67). The D-line always seems fraught with uncertainty - no matter who is drafting. This could be the right year to re-sign our own (Mike Daniels already in the books, need to get Raji and Guion locked up – figuratively there, and Josh Boyd comes back from IR next year). This year’s crop of ILB draft talent is stronger than last year’s class, so maybe Ted strategically waited a year so he could get a couple prospects in mid-rounds that should hit and then maybe slide the Claymaker back outside. That said, it made no sense to me to declare CMIII as an OLB in MM’s post-season interview; unless, maybe “pitch perfect” whined to Eminem. One last parting thought on line backers… Peppers has a really high cap number next year (see also, Randall Cobb), so I would make him sign for $5 mil or let him go - he was a joke on 70% of plays. On the 30% he showed up he was effective on 51.3%. Do the math. Next year, aside from draft picks and other free agents that will be new to the Green & Gold, the players we already have need to play better. Starting with #12. His 2015 preseason shoulder bruise when sacked at Pittsburgh (remember that?) had a bigger impact this year than people give credit, and that injury was largely overshadowed by Jordy’s blown ACL during the same game. (If you watched as closely as Coach Clarahanson, you would have noticed that ARod altered his throwing motion following that game.) With Jordy out of that game, Rodgers held onto the ball too long and got sacked, and injured, and after that was never able to get back to the performance level of the guy that he was last year (see also, “yips”). When reached for comment regarding Rodgers’ ability to play through the pain, former Packer quarterback Brett Favre blurted “The most pain he ever had to endure was probably the least pain that I ever felt when I played. I told you guys he was a pussy. That faggot tried to kiss me once after a game. Good thing I had my helmet on.” A couple oddities, though… even injured, Aaron could still throw wicked-long passes with seemingly little effort. Also, injury doesn’t explain why he can’t find open guys as explained in X’s and O’s above. Oft open (but ignored by Rodgers) receivers got little attention from press conference reporters or from in-game announcers, but we all saw it at Lambeau and again when DVR’ing road games. I guess no one wants to be the guy to call out a future Hall of Famer and be the Jim Gray (Click on link) of the NFL. Oh yeah, and Eddie Lacy, he definitely became a fat ass. Gotta agree with Eminem on that one. He will have a short leash come OTA’s. Who knows, maybe Eddie will drop 40-lbs and win the 2016 OTA MVP award. It did wonders for the last 2 receipients, Dvante Adams and Colt Lyerla. On second thought, maybe that’s worse than the Madden curse.
Lastly, our defense dropped too many picks this year. I know, “That’s why they play defense, because they can’t catch.” But to advance to the Super Bowl we can’t drop the easy ones like we did down the stretch this year. The teams that won their playoff games made those picks when they were given the chance. Again, it comes down to coaching (or lack thereof). McCarthy calls it “a point of emphasis” in practice to make interceptions when opportunities present themselves, which falls short of this Coach’s “expectation that we will intercept the ball every chance we get.” …or gimme 10 pushups, in practice or a game. JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them Top 10 Packers of All Time
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Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme “I got my mojo working” exclaimed Aaron Rodgers after soundly beating the Washington Native Peoples Squad in the Wild Card opening weekend of the Super Bowl L tournament. “I knew if I just got away from ‘the old ball and chain’ for a weekend I could get my Mojo back” he continued. Celebration evidently ensued in our Nation’s capital well after the successful conclusion of last Sunday’s contest. (Click on link) Postgame Afterbar Party You saw it, the Pack finally passed the eye test. As Coach lamented from early on this season, A-Rod has just not looked like himself all year. But this weekend against the Skins finally started to look a little bit better. The crack research team here at the Coach Clarahanson studios have broken down the tape and found that AR was holding the ball on average over 3.11 seconds/snap when we were looking awful; but from the 2nd Qtr onward the ball was coming out more like 2.24 seconds on average (stats courtesy of Luppolo Sports Insights Srl). Coach was pleased to see Mr. 30, Number Kuhn in game for extended periods and not at all surprised by the positive results. And…as Coach has been calling for, JC Tretter got a shot at LT and did outstanding considering he had never taken a snap at Left Tackle in the NFL (arguably, the 2nd most difficult position to play on the Offense). The defense played pretty well, but they are still prone to majorly frustrating breakdowns, particularly when DC Legume puts them in the “Prevent Nothing” 1-4-6/1-3-7/2-3-6 formations. A great example is the 4 play 80 yard drive where the Skins jammed it down our throat for 3 plays (see also Oakland Raiders before halftime), and when Kiss'n Cousins walked into the endzone on a 7 yd QB draw (see also, Dante Culpepper, Cam Newton, Colin Kaepernick, Russell Wilson). Disgusting. Now the naysayers point out that the Oppressed Native Americans football team from the District of Columbia have not beaten a winning team this year, but Coach responds that this is still the very balanced NFL and beating anyone is an accomplishment (not to mention that the Packers came in as UNDERDOGs). Coach has watched every snap this season and truly the Skins game was the best of the year. So how can we jam it down Cardinals’ beaks? Well, playing offense quickly and with the same tempo as in DC would be a great start. Bahktiari and Shields practiced a little bit this week and who knows, maybe even Mr. January, Davante Adams, can make a go of it... …the last game against the AZZ lads looked pretty bad, and it was a blow out at 38-8, but the offense gave up 21 of those 38 points in about 6 minutes of game time. One might argue that the Offense should be expected to score more points than they give up, such was not the case in the melt down in the Desert. The defense only gave up 17 points against the NFL’s number 1 offense and if they can do that again at least it will keep the Pack in the game. Add in even a modicum of stability to the OL...a little Tretter here, a little Sitton there, and sprinkle on some Kuhn and we should have a beefy sandwich of balanced running and passing. Extract Coach Legume’s tassel from his alimentary canal and we might actually win this thing! WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like It happened again. Aaron got a D lineman's hand smacked down the front of his facemask, which wasn't flagged by the Ref's, and ended up in points for the defense. On the 2-point safety called in DC (which, BTW is another WTF for MM putting in a 1st time NFL LT, JC Tretter, without any help -- on an island backed up in our own end zone), Rodgers took a tomahawk chop down his grill before he collapsed to the ground. That should have been 15 yards forward and a 1st down, not a couple of points and a free kick to the Foreskins. Do you remember that last time we played AZ in the playoffs? On their turf, in overtime, after we demonstrated the ability to score at will throughout the 4th quarter, we get the ball right away and a Fartinals D lineman immediately rakes Aaron down the facemask - causing him to fumble the ball and it was run in for a game ending touchdown. More on that later. I realize that particular blown call WTF is getting close to reaching the statute of limitations, like taking legal action 19 years after the fact against a Penn State coaching coordinator for forcing troubled pre-teen boys to shower with him, but it applies nonetheless. So, Ref's, it’s safe to say that you've screwed the Packers more than enough already in critical games -- probably twice as much and twice as egregiously as any other NFL team in my lifetime, so keep it fair on Saturday night, will ya? (Click on link) Keep it fair, keep it fair - will ya? Oh, and you didn't think I was gonna pass up on this WTF, did ya?... It was cute that the Vikings were NFC North "champs" this year. It's like that commercial when all the teams in pee-wee football get a "participation" trophy. But let's not let the Vikings lose any perspective on who or what they really are, number 2. 💩 Vikings place kicker Blair "Scott Norwood" Walsh missed an easy WTF chip shot field goal at the end of their game versus the Seahawks, and in doing so missed their opportunity to advance to the divisional round (a.k.a. the good teams) of the playoffs. By folding under pressure the Vikings clearly segregated the good from the mediocre, the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff, the cream from the milk, and the similes from the metaphors. I've made that same easy field goal on 100% of thousands attempts over the telephone line in my backyard in the snow and wind (and uphill) as a kid growing up. But I NEVER wore purple; which, by no coincidence, is the color of a person who is choking. The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof The Vikings are a tough act to follow this week, but here goes… Robert Griffin III Cleans Out His Redskins Locker (Click on link) Have you seen the video? It’s the saddest NFL-related thing you’ll ever see. Robert Griffin III is recorded being told by Redskins management that he was traded to the Bears for Matt Forte, and RG3 was shaken to his core. As it turns out, Ashton Kutcher just Punk’d him, but what a cruel joke. Later, when told that he really wasn’t being traded to the Bears, and that he was merely being released and had to repay $20 million of his signing bonus for not being activated at least 12 games in the final year of his contract, Griffin screeched with joy and skipped out the FedEx Field locker room. In a related story, the ASPCA announced Tuesday that it is suing the Chicago Bears for feline cruelty after a study they conducted which proves that every time a Bears fan claims “the Bears will make the playoffs next year,” a kitten dies. Please Bears fans, think of the kittens. Coach was unfortunate enough to have had a layover in Chicago on a business trip this week. I walked by the "Nuts On Clark" vendor in O'Hare to get a whiff of freshly roasted legumes in terminal-F on the way to my unkept / filthy (as expected) gate. Thank God that roasted nuts smell is there to create a zone of relief in the midst of the corridor. Otherwise, that entire airport would smell like "Old Spice and Balls" from Bears fans. BTW, I observed lots our sour pusses Tuesday morning on the faces of travelers in the airport who were wearing Clemson apparel. With their downtrodden looks and orange trim, at first I thought they were just everyday Bears fans until I got a closer look -- which I had to do, because I was confused by their female fans not being gross nor obnoxiously self-centered and rude. I need to send Barry A a note to get a matchup with Clemson at Lambeau in an early September venue. ...and make lots of visitor tickets available. Just sayin. Udder Stuff – commentary from the Badger Underground What an embarrassment. The Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association is one of the slowest moving, old school organisms in existence. In case you hadn’t heard, it has been reported by various media outlets this week that the state’s governing body for high school athletics has declared that chanting “U-S-A, U-S-A,” is unsportsmanlike behavior. I didn’t realize that the WIAA had become infiltrated by church ladies and soccer moms with Sociology majors. Maybe I should have put this bit in the WTF section? In their 40-page sportsmanship manual, the WIAA also directed schools to stop fans from booing or chanting “Air Ball,” “Season’s Over,” “Fundamentals,” “Scoreboard,” and “Over-Rated.” They also took issue with the “Na Na Na Na – Hey Hey Hey Goodbye” song. They called it “taunting and disrespectful.” Why do I get the impression that none of these Tools in the WIAA have ever actually PLAYED in sports? I blame ISIS. What’s next… No quarters in the basement when your parents are out for fish fry? …No more heavy petting behind the bleachers? Why even go to high school anymore? Wait a minute, isn’t their “sportsMANship” manual using a sexist term? The WIAA will probably apologize for that next year, raise athletic fees, and change the name to “sports-particapantship” manual. And the following year, they’ll apologize for their publication being called a “MANual.” Thank goodness a common sense high school basketball player, who just so happens to be an honor’s student and girls basketball standout at Hilbert High School, was “Forward” enough to suggested to the WIAA that they should (putting this delicately) “eat excrement.” Good for you, young lady! I expect good things from you in college. Coach couldn’t think of a good segue for these downloads from my phone, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless… We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Obviously Coach is very intelligent, he’s a Packer Fan. He also finds amusement in the little things in life. You know, like John Kerry praising “Lambert Field” during the 2004 U.S. Presidential Campaign (Click on link) "La-la-la-la-Lambert!" and other things like the Packers subversively naming their new Restaurant at Lambert Field “1919”……a direct middle finger to the NFL (while the Packers were formed in 1919, they joined the NFL in 1921, so all officially licensed NFL gear with a year on is required to say “1921” by NFL edict). So Coach started to contemplate the “amazement” that all four road teams won in the Wild Card round. He got his pen out of his pocket protector and pulled the old slide rule out of the desk to mull things over. After deep reflection, Coach realized that the team with the most points usually wins the games. And, over the course of a season, the more a team scores versus the amount they yield to an opponent might actually be an indicator of how good your team is. I know I’m going fast – especially for FIB’s, so you may want to re-read that last part to ensure that you are following here… …and we have a lot of Packer fans talking about the “Road Warriors” in 2010, so Coach thought he should do a little scoring analysis on the 2010 Season. To help refresh your memory, Coach has included the playoff picks of a delusional Bear fan to help “re-visualize the excitement” of 2010. Naturally, the Bears suck and they got killed at Soldiers Fields by the Pack ... with full Coach entourage in attendance to take glee in FIB carnage followed by a full-on Ozzy Osbourne Alamo-style urination on the outskirts of that cesspool of a stadium, followed by celebratory merriment to the tune of three different renditions of “the Bears Still Suck!” in a great Lincoln Park Packer’s Bar. But that amazing memory is not part of this rant. No, the point of this rant is that the Pack was not lucky, there were damn good. In the table below are the playoff seedings, the Regular Season W/L records and Regular Season Total Point Differentials for all 12 Teams in the Super Bowl XLV Tournament (Pt Differential is: Points Scored less Points Allowed for the Season). As you can see below, across all 11 games in the SB Tournament, the Club with the highest Pt Diff won 9 of the games…or 4 out 5 (82%) of the games. The Packers had the 2nd highest Pt Diff in the whole league behind NE. So, was the Pack lucky to win the SB? No, they were unlucky to have only won 10 games during the Regular Season. They were damn good the whole year and deserved to win the SB. So is it different this year? Well, “no” and “I hope so”. “No,” meaning that the team with the highest Regular Season Pt. Differential won 3 of the 4 games this past weekend (75%). They happened to be the road teams, but they also happened to be the better team and 75% looks a lot like the “norm” of 4 out 5 SB Tournament games going to the better team (and while Pittsburgh was an exception, they had some terrible games mid-year while Big Ben was recovering from injury inflicted by a feisty rape victim, or they arguably would have had a better PT Differential with him on the field). Now for the “I hope so” part. It is different this year and we need to be one of the “20%” that breaks the rule. Unlike 2010, the 2015 Packers have one of the lowest Regular Season Pt. Differentials this year and are only just ahead of the Washington Foreskins and Houston Tampons. So, does this mean we can’t win? Heck no! ARod, the Claymaker and Eminem take John Blutarski’s words wisdom to heart in playoff time: "Nothing is over until WE decide it is!" Let’s ponder a bit of history, the second ever playoff meeting between the Cards and the Pack was in 2009 and was also A-Rod’s first playoff start. Unfortunately, he threw an interception on his first pass on the way to an early 17-0 lead for the Cards. The Packers rallied back and sent the game into OT by tying it at 45 late in the game. In a harbinger of many heartbreaking losses to come, the Fartinals won in overtime on consecutive jobbings by the Ref’s, as alluded to earlier. On the penultimate play, AR was mugged after releasing a pass -- but no flag was thrown... Rodgers was hit by cornerback Michael Adams on a blitz, and he fumble-kicked the ball to Karlos Dansby, who scored from 17 yards out to end the game, 51-45. Hmmm, maybe we coulda won that after all... (Click on link) The team we are playing this weekend has long has been a train wreck from the start; they were the Morgan Athletic Club, the Normals, the Racine Cardinals, the Chicago Cardinals, the Phoenix Cardinals end eventually the Arizona Cardinals. Now it’s time for the Green & Gold to Pack the AZZ Cards. JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them Asked to comment on the Packers 10-6 regular season record and the playoff win against the Redskins, former Defensive End and Packer Hall of Famer Ezra 'Hot Dogs On the Bench!' Johnson commented “Huh?” “Oh yeah, we’re doing pretty good. Never made the playoffs while I was playing except for that one time in ’82 when we beat the St. Louis Cardinals. We should do real good, I never thought they had much of a f*c&ng club anyway…never had their heads in the game. Not that there’s anything wrong with it.” Adding credence to Ezra’s questions about the Cards was a photo released this week that shows the Cardinal’s preparing intensely for this weekend’s playoff game. A couple of the fellows seen here are rocking Village People facial hair and flipping their bats in the locker room while fantasizing, presumably, about baseball. This begs many questions…. Well Ezra, c’est la vie.
PS If necessary, let me apologize in advance for any typos -- I did not proofread this week’s content as I typed it hurriedly while watching Fox fox Megyn Kelly (so I was kind of distracted). Even when talking about Syrian refugees she can be wicked hot. Scha-wing. Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme Our Offense has done a nice job of putting big points on the board for the last couple of weeks. Unfortunately, those points have been for the other teams’ Defense. That won’t last forever, though, and now’s a good time to stop that trend (I know, ingenious insight. You’re welcome.). Here’s the good news … our receivers have finally been getting open! As Coach watched from the stands last Sunday, it was apparent that guys were finding soft spots in the D and play calls have created opportunities, especially for TE’s and Mr. Kuuuuuuuuuuuhn. I’m unsure why Aaron was not seeing / throwing to those open guys (especially near the end zone), but that is correctable and he is smart enough to make the adjustment. Bakhtiari will be back at LT, so Sitton will be back at LG, so Rodgers will be back, Baby! Our D is playing really well. No significant complaints … another nice job against the Queens containing Adrian Childabuser. Bringing the Claymaker up the middle on stunts from the outside (see every other good defense in the NFL) has been working well for us. Unfortunately, the D has been starting on a really short field as of late. Ball control (turnovers, time of possession) is huge in the playoffs, so our Defense has had good practice in the regular season leading up to the dance. We should be well prepared. If Dom Legumes doesn’t retreat into 1 or 2 down linemen sub-packages again, we should we fine against the Foreskins. WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like First up, for as great as Lambeau is, there are a couple of quirky things I heard over the speakers this year that really kinda irked me. I noticed the guy that plays the …da-da-da d da-da-da… “GO PACK GO” song doesn’t know anything about cheering strategy. The WORST time to play that song is when our D is trying to stop the opponent on a 3rd down. But that’s exactly when the dork pushes “Play” on the deck. The fans’ objective is to make so much noise that the opposing offense can’t communicate. However, when the GO PACK GO plays, most of the fan volume is brief and on a specific cadence that can be “talked around.” Stupid. The objective of that song is to fire up the fans when there is a lull, like when a time out is ending or we just got screwed by the refs on a call. As Eminem often says, we need to clean that up. My other wonder is – what’s the deal with Bill Jartz? I could swear the dude takes plays or even series off and has a substitute PA announcer fill in for him from time to time (ala Bob Uecker and Joe Block). Maybe during pregame Bill needs to pop some of those Super Beta Prostate pills that Joe Theisman peddles? Next WTF: why is it that the simplicity of the NFL playoff game brackets is so poorly understood? As far as I can tell, people who have talk radio shows must get a lobotomy once the regular season is over. On more than 1 radio show that Coach patronizes, I heard the program hosts say the Packers play in Arizona if Minnesota wins or in Carolina if Seattle wins, which is bass-ackwards. I blame ISIS. Like any other playoff system in the civilized world, the higher seed always plays the lowest seed, duh. So, if #4 Minnesota wins (highly unlikely, I suggest taking Seattle minus the points) we (as #5) play Carolina. If Minnesota loses to #6 Seattle, pack your bags for the desert. You’re welcome. There’s been much unfounded ado about Olivia Munn messing up A-Rod’s mojo to the point where he can’t get back to his Jordan-esque performances (see also, Rob Demovsky). Let Coach set the record straight. Olivia is probably a wonderful person and certainly is a bright young lady with tremendous talent on the screen (and in publication!). Not to mention she is wicked hot wearing a Wonder Woman outfit. Oh, and have you seen her on the cover of Maxim? But I digress… What’s not to like? Personally, I can’t blame Aaron for being attracted to her and I wish them both the best. If anything, Ms. Munn is probably helping Aaron get the best out of his game. But, on the other hand, what is the deal with Kirk “Kissing” Cousins’ wife? Have you seen her? Holy crap, man - WTF? No wonder “Shallow Kirk” spends so much time studying film at the stadium facility. I mean, what is that she’s eating? I think it could be another human. And what’s the deal with that bruise on her arm? Yikes. Probably got that from the poor guy fighting her off before she ate him. The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Well another regular season has come and gone, and after further review the ruling is confirmed: the Bears still suck. Same ol’ Jay. Da Bears lost again in week 17…10th time this year, which I think is about their average if not a little better. This week’s celebration in mediocrity goes to the Detroit Lions, who may have just managed to “Wayne Fonts” Jim Caldwell back into Detroit for another year by beating the Midgets of the Midway in the season finale. Too bad for Jim that Megatron is retiring from Greg Oden syndrome. Similarly, too bad for John Fox that the Bears perpetually suck the big one and he is stuck there. However, it is a closer drive to Canton from Chicago than from Denver, in case he wants to go to Brett Favre’s induction into the Hall of Fame this summer. Maybe Jay can drive him there and suggest heart-healthy meals at the truck stop diners. Hey, they can even make a quick stop in Oak Brook on the way to Ohio to get a feel of Brian Urlacher’s new ass hair on his head. Pretty sweet stuff for Bears fans! Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground The Big Ten had 10 bowl teams this year, the most of any conference. Here’s a breakdown of the results (5-5 overall):
See ya at the Spring game, Paul and Bucky! We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game In the words of Alfred E. Neuman… Here’s how Coach sees it: If we don’t get royally screwed by the ref’s (see just about every playoff game we’ve lost except against the Giants and Atlanta – three at home), and we don’t fumble the football (see James Starks), and we don’t drop catchable balls (see all Wide Receivers), and we don’t act like punks that strut for the camera when we get a 1st down, we win pretty handily. Believe it or not, Ted has actually assembled a pretty decent roster (save WR superstar talent). MM says there ain’t much difference between the 1st and 6th seeds (except maybe the teams in between?), and if he’s right we probably will be okay. In other words, and the words of Aaron Rodgers… JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them Big Game? Packers & Skins? You bet. Monday Night Football, October 17th, 1983, Lambeau Field, Green Bay, WI. Green Bay was not a major stop on the NFL map in 1983. It had been ten years since the 1972 team that featured John Brockington and since the Packers had frightened anyone in the NFL. The Packers made the playoffs the prior year with a 5-3-1 record in the strike shortened 1982 season, but so did the top 8 teams in each conference in a special format playoff field (and interrupted the Packers-Bears continuous games against streak…and while they didn’t play that year…Coach has video evidence that the Bears did, in fact, suck). The Redskins on the other hand were the NFL elite coming off a 27-17 win over the Miami Dolphins in SB XVII. Going into the game the Pack was 3-3 and the Skins were 5-1, reigning SB champs, and therefore were very heavily favored. The only prior Mundane Night Football game at Lambeau was in 1979 against the Pats, and the heavily favored Pats lost to Green Bay. Green Bay, Brown County and all of Wisconsin were hungry for a big time win and were frankly a bit PO’d that this was only the 2nd time that Lambeau Field was the host stadium for MNF. The fact that we had been in the NFL basement, and nationally nobody in media elite cities cared, only added fuel to the fire. In probably the most stupid moment of Coach’s life, I turned down free tickets to that first MNF contest at Lambeau and regretted it all evening as I could hear the crowd from my open apartment window; rest assured such stupidity has not been repeated. Coach scored primo seats for the Skins-Pack game, about 10 rows up behind the Skins bench and had a chance to watch “Theismann Heisman” and the “Fun Bunch” up close and personal (Art Monk, Virgil Seay, Charlie Brown, Alvin Garrett, Rick Walker, and Don Warren). On that chilly October night, Lambeau Field turned into an offensive wonderland, with MNF's greatest scoring explosion ever. The teams combined for 95 points, 771 yards passing and 254 yards on the ground. And though the Pack had had only 20:55 time of possession, we held on for a 48-47 win on a last second missed FG by Mark “Straight Leg” Moseley. Pack v Skins MNF Summary (Clink on link) From what Coach remembers, exactly “0” defense was played all evening. The table below shows zero punts by either team!!! It also shows that Jan Stenerud was perfect and Moseley was almost perfect except for that last kick. Wah-Wahhhhh. In an aside, sadly 1983 would be the last year of Bart Starr’s 9 year coaching career as he finished 8-8 for the second time in his coaching career. Although he never finished higher than 2nd in the NFL Central Division, Coach thought that Bart had finally learned to be a good coach was sorry to see him go. So what do we conclude from this game??? Well, out manned and outplayed, the Packers got the win against a superior team by playing better that night, and we can do it again! The 1983 team would finish the season at #5 overall on Offense, with Lynn Dickey #12 at QB and James Lofton, Paul Coffman and John Jefferson providing highlights all year. Unfortunately, the Defense stunk and would finish in the bottom 5 for defense. But on this night arguably the most important play of the game was by “Mad Dog” Mike Douglas. Mike was the Packers 5th round pick in 1978, out of San Diego State, and a very undersized 6’0”, 210# weakside backer in the Packers 4-3 D. Mad Dog had a chip on his shoulder and really resented that he was regularly characterized as the weak link in an awful defense. At the time “LT” (Lawrence Taylor of the NYG) was “the Linebacker” and Mad Dog announced before the game that he would show the world that he was better than LT. True to his word he returned a fumble for a TD and the first score of the game… before being largely run-over the rest of the game. Mike would be named to two Pro Bowls and finished with 967 tackles and is in the Packers HOF. Mad Dog is now a personal trainer and “natural” body builder at Alpine Fitness in San Diego, which is in California and means “a whale’s vagina.” Mike has won the “California Natural Bodybuilding Championship” six times and placed first in over 20 competitions. Don't stare too long at Mike’s powder blue undies, not that there’s anything wrong with it.
On the other sideline was one Mark Murphy, a star DB for the Skins and a future Packers President. Murphy played in Super Bowls XVII and XVIII and played a key role with an interception in the Redskins 27–17 Super Bowl XVII win over the Miami Dolphins. His best season was actually 1983, when he led the NFL with nine interceptions and returned them for 127 yards earning him one of his two Pro Bowl nominations. But on that fateful October night he was completely outmanned by the Packers and was run over for a key 3rd Qtr TD. I think all that play really messed Mark up, because he and Coach share the same Chiropractor in Green Bay and Mark’s a hobbling mess when in the waiting room until I get stretched and cracked back into alignment. BTW, ever notice how much Murphy looks like Alfred E. Neuman? Juuuust sayin. Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme Well, at least we're not the Vikings. Yet, while it's true we are in the post season, it was not a very confidence inspiring game to be blown out in Arizona 38-8. This Coach is reminded of legendary football coach John McKay, who, when asked about the execution of his Tampa Bay Buccaneers, remarked “I’m for it.” He also added, “We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” That pretty well sums up the game against the Arizona Cardinals for Coach. No fan of Green Bay, John McKay once infamously quipped “If a contest had 97 prizes, 98th would be a trip to Green Bay.” So we won't look to him for guidance on what is plaguing the Pack. But what is going on? Is it A-Rod? Could be. He’s on track for his worst year as a pro and if you look at his performance after the Bye week he is ranked #30 in passer rating, between Joe Flacco and Johnny Manziel. Not coincidentally his slide started when his not-fiancé Olivia Munn was captured on video after the Chargers game discussing what she does with her 'platonic' male friends on Friday nights (go to the 5-minute mark when you click on this link... Men can just be friends as long as I... ). Coach McCarthy reminds us, though, that “stats are for losers” – which explains why Jay Cutler is ranked 13 places higher than A-Rod. Is it injuries? Maybe. Have a look below at the injury report from this week (which doesn’t even include those on IR, like Jordy Nelson, Brett Goode, Josh Boyd, Sam Barrington, Sean Richardson, or Ty Montgomery), and you’ll notice that all 5 of the starting offensive linemen are listed. Certainly not good for any team, and might be part of our problem. “But Coach”, you ask, “don’t all teams have injuries”? Yes, son, they do. “But Coach, didn’t Ted and Mike proudly boast that they won the 2010 SB with a very injured team”? Yes, son, they did. So we can't let that be the reason. Ahhh, so what does Coach Eminem hisself have to say about what happened: “We have to quit worrying about plays and worry about execution.” Asked to explain what that meant, McCarthy said: “It’s myself reiterating a common theme. I learned it from Marty Schottenheimer. At time of crisis, think of players, not plays. We know what we’re doing in terms of designing plays, but at the end of the day, it’s about giving the players the resources to be successful.” Don't know what that means? It's not obvious to this Coach either, so let’s break down Mike’s comments for analysis:
So, you’re confused? I know. So was I. McCarthy's references to the Schottenheimer mantra were very puzzling ... until, of course, the surprise Ted Thompson news conference that we all saw on Wednesday. Full transcript of Ted’s press conference: "Thank you all for coming today on short notice. Oh, and Jason, thanks for the holiday fruit basket. I was at a Caribbean spa resort for the holidays so the fruit rotted and then froze on my porch, but, you know, thanks anyways. Okay, I have a prepared statement. As you all are aware, our team has been playing extremely inconsistent football for the past several weeks now. In spite of a significant improvement in Special Teams and a noticeable improvement on Defense, the Offense has pretty much collapsed. As GM and head of personnel I have the responsibility to address this concern, so I completed a thorough unannounced investigation of the problem with the assistance of a team of highly respected forensic physicians, scientists and psychiatrists. The team of investigators reviewed all of the data, game film, and cross-examined the statistics, and has conducted thorough interviews with all of our staff, coaches and players.” “After the completion of their exhaustive investigation, the expert analysts have concluded that the primary cause of the Offense’s collapse is due to what they refer to as irreconcilable differences between our starting quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, and Head Coach Mike McCarthy. We don't normally like to talk about these sorts of things outside of the locker room, but in this case it is a unique and unavoidable situation. Underlying this problem is an unfortunate physical condition that we have discovered Mike is suffering from. It is a common, but very severe, case of cranial rectosis. While the causes of this debilitating disease are not well understood, certain symptoms have been repeatedly exhibited by Mike which are significant enough such that they can no longer be ignored. This leaves us no choice but to compel Mike to take a temporary medical leave so that he can receive the appropriate treatment for his condition. Please keep Mike and his family in your prayers as he works through this problem.” “So, it is with bittersweet feelings that I am immediately announcing the replacement of Mike on an indefinite interim basis with a well-respected field general and Mike’s mentor and friend, Martin ‘Marty’ Schottenheimer. As you probably know, Marty last coached the Virginia Destroyers to the 2011 UFL Championship. I think he will have no trouble leveraging his vast coaching expertise to quickly step into Mike’s role and bring us the same sort of positive results that he demonstrated throughout his career. With that, I’ll take questions.” Local sports reporter Richard Gazinya from the Manitowoc-Two Rivers Herald-Times-Reporter then immediately asked Thompson why he thought the tenured Shottenheimer was the right fit at this particular time, to which the GM lowered his chin and responded in a deep whisper “Some naysayers may question that Marty has been out of football since his Championship run in 2011, but hey, this is a guy that went 5-13 in the playoffs while coaching the Browns, Chiefs, Redskins and the Chargers. This is like riding a bike for him – surely Marty won’t have forgotten how to get the team motivated and prepared for another devastating playoff loss. Although he never sniffed a Super Bowl, he certainly can’t be any more of a disappointment than Mike has been over the last four years. I wonder why everyone’s jaw dropped? Did I say that out loud? Crap, I was just supposed to just be thinking that." He then looked up and finished, "Uh... no more questions! Thank you.” And with that Mr. Thompson abruptly closed the news conference and scrambled for the exit. WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like (1) One of this week’s WTF awards goes to my literary contemporaries in the media. Let’s start with the nut jobs at Al Jazeera... OK, it’s not like anybody believes the political hokum you dole out, or the lunatic camel-jockeys that you trot out in front of the camera to encourage the dismemberment of children for righteous rank, but when you mess with the NFL, Mohammed, you’ve messed with the fabric of America and you’ve gone too far. You’ve officially started the launch sequence that will soon turn the Middle East into a giant candy bowl. What’s worse IMHO, is the morons at NBC / Fox / CBS / ESPN who got sucked in and bothered mentioning the recanted fictitious blather claiming Peyton Manning, Clay Matthews, et al, took HGH on the down-low a couple of years back. I’d rather suffer through replacement ref’s again than have not-news about NFL icons pushed in front of me as if it is serious information when I hit a Favorite button on my clicker each Sunday. Stop it. Now. (2) Enough with the unnecessary “concussion protocols” – the NFL is way too hypersensitive about concussions these days (and thanks to Hollyweird, even more so this week), to the point they are pulling players out of games for no good reason. Our defense started playing great early against the Cards, right? ...until Raji got pulled. And we are only 1-4 without Shields in the lineup. It’s a conspiracy! At first I thought “no way” to the conspiracy theory, but when I saw James Starks undergoing concussion protocols after his dumb-ass fumble, my suspicions were confirmed. The replay clearly shows Starks NOT being hit in the head at all whatsoever. He got hit on the arm, fumbled, was so embarrassed that he slowly staggered off the carpet like he was dazed from collision, and then was immediately checked for a concussion on the sideline. WTF? If not put in place to fix scores for Las Vegas, then concussions are at a minimum the new scape goat en vogue for piss poor performance. This whole concussion awareness thing is a bunch of malarkey, like men from Mars or people who say they would vote for Trump. Next they’ll be claiming concussions create suicidal tendencies. Don’t believe the hype. (3) Well, if you stayed up late like Coach did on Wednesday night to watch the whole Holiday Bowl (congrats, tough guy), you couldn’t help but notice the discrimination that continues to plague the Badger football team as brought against them by referees. It got out of hand back in 2013 at ASU when Stave took a knee to set up an easy chip shot field goal to win the game, but the referees refused to spot the ball with 14 seconds left so Bucky could spike it for the ensuing kick. The blatantly biased officiating continued throughout last year and was amped up a notch this year, culminating when we played against the Northworstern Mildcats and the ref submitted to the cheering fans at Camp Randall that 4 feet inbounds with the ball secured in the endzone does not constitute a catch. Here are some of the unjustifiable, discriminatory actions imparted by the ref’s Wednesday night: (a) the line judge lowering his hands after he started reaching for the sky when Clement crossed the goal line and then spotted the ball back 1 yard – so Chryst had to call a time out to force the replay booth to look at it and grant the touchdown; (b) the sideline judge blows the whistle to stop play when McEvoy sprinted free and clear into the endzone for the game-sealing touchdown, and replay showed he did NOT step out of bounds; (c) when Stave was out briefly the ref’s didn’t call an obvious pass interference on the first pass by Bart Houston, in which Erickson got tackled before the ball even got to him; (d) Taiwan Deal was spotted well short of the critical 1st down that would have enabled us to kill the clock, even though the replay clearly showed he was not down until the ball crossed the line of gain; and (e) on our ensuing final punt, the ISIS-recruit-looking linebacker from USC got called for a “dead-ball” personal foul after the play even though the combatants were engaged the whole time and the umpire threw the flag early, which was a classic half-measure by the ref because he didn’t want to rob USC of their last chance on a penalty 60 yards from the ball. Noteworthy, the cowardly zebras left Jack Murphy Qualcomm stadium very quickly after the game, aided by their seeing eye dogs and red-tipped canes. Having had enough of referee discrimination, Badger Underground members in attendance at the Holiday Bowl quickly gathered a contingent after the game to peacefully demonstrate with a bold protest in downtown San Diego that lasted into the early morning hours on Thursday where they held up signs and chanted “NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE! BADGER WINS MATTER!” NCAA officials have purportedly reached out to Rodger Goodell for advice on how to deal politically with this metastasizing situation. The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof In the spirit of holiday cheer, let me be the first to congratulate the Bears (and the Lions) for reaching the critical 6-game win mark in week 16. For reference, the Packers achieved this feat 10 weeks earlier. So what else about Chicago is there to feed good about? Nothing. “But Coach, it’s Christmas – surely there must be something about Chicago that is good at this time of year.” You’re right. I can think of 2 good movies that were set in Chicago suburbia: Home Alone, and A Christmas Story. Everything else about Chicago sucks. Happy New Year, FIB’s. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground Scheduled at 10:30 PM est on the Wednesday between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, this year’s Holiday Bowl featuring the Wisconsin Badgers versus the USC Rubbers was in danger of getting Nielsen ratings comparable to a Democrat debate. The Badgers ended the game on a very high note, with an action packed 23-21 victory over a very talented USC squad who has played some good football since a head coach "change" midway through the season (Californians can’t handle their brandy Old Fashioneds). Note that USC destroyed Utah, who beat Michigan in their season opener. Ipso facto, we’re number 1. Our defense stifled a high powered Trojan offense with the highlight being Jack Cichy’s hat trick of sacks in one 3 and out series in the 4th Quarter. Cichy also recorded 9 tackles in one half of play. Tailback U was held to only 65 yards rushing and even though their Senior QB showed flashes of brilliance, overall the USC gunslinger sucked with a 46 passer rating for the game. The University of Spoiled Children did get another 5-star recruit this week, though, as affluenza sufferer Ethan Couch signed a letter of intent to be their ball boy and future booster. Stave played tough, gritty and solid all night with a 90 rating. Lost in the numbers were a couple of dropped TD’s and a third opportunity wasted due to an incorrect route run by the TE. Passes were consistently landing where they were intended. The RB’s ran for a serviceable 177 yards. The Packers should keep an eye on Senior FB Derek Watt. J.J.’s younger bro would make a nice back up/replacement to John Kuhn or maybe beef up a little to play TE. Wisconsin ended the season 10-3 (or really 11-2 if you rightfully include the stolen win versus Northwestern). A couple of outlying bowl game losses notwithstanding, it is looking more like the Big Ten was a good conference this year, with not as much separation between the top teams as the polls would have you believe. The schedule next year will be as tough as this year’s schedule was soft(?). We open in Lambeau against LSU, which should be fun! The brutal Big Ten schedule (9 conference games next year, 5 on the road) starts with tough away games at MSU and Michigan. Then we have tOSU at home and off to Iowa. OUCH! After that, Bucky should have little trouble winning out. And now for something completely different, with the upcoming Packer game against the Queens, Badger Underground thought it would be timely to update you on a story released earlier this year regarding a former Badger turned Viking. Stu Voight was the former Queens TE who played in 3 Super Bowls (all on the losing end, of course), and played at Wisconsin in the late 60’s when the Badgers won 3 games in 3 years. Now Stu is a “Creative" Financial Consultant (Click on link) in the twin cities area. Clearly his time in Minneapolis has altered him since his days in Madison. We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Now that Marty Schottenheimer has replaced Mike McCarthy, Coach opened up Marty’s book “Just Win, Maybe” (Hottoffda Press, 1999) to understand his likely recipe for success against the Viqueens. It pretty much boils down to this:
If we don’t turn the ball over running the rock, we have a pretty good chance of winning. We have to force Minnesota to abandon the run, though, too. Don’t forget, Teddy Bearwater is only a 2nd year QB and we can likely rattle him if we get loud in the stands and tease him about being Zygi Wilf’s lover. We need the crowd to be in playoff mode. Not just cheering during the most exciting moments or when we’re on Offense (see also, Milwaukee / Gold Package fans), but every moment after the Star Spangled Banner through the end of the game. This Will Fire You Up for Lambeau! (Clink on link) If 3-yards and a cloud of dust, plus deafening screams, still leave us short of their intended impact, then abandon all things Schottenheimer and slide into Paul Chryst mode. Stave has taken as many hits as Aaron Rodgers this year, had an equally under-performing OL, and WR’s who couldn’t get open or dropped passes. Coach would like to see McClenett call games like Chryst did in the Holiday Bowl (in which the Badgers were over-matched talent-wise, BTW), and have Rodgers make throws like Stave did in that game. Stave/Chryst made good use of dump off passes. Those passes have been there for Rodgers, but he has ignored Lacy and others open in the flat. If he takes those simple throws like he did versus Dallas and in Minnesota this year, and late last season when he was immobile, it will eventually open up the coveted 10-20 yard routes downfield. JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them T’was the nineteen hundred and seventy-fifth year of our Lord, and the Packers were a really bad team. Almost “Bears bad.” So new GM and head coach, Bart Starr, rolled up his sleeves and went to work rebuilding his team – starting defensively with a squad that was affectionately nicknamed (via an actual ‘Nickname the Packers Defense’ contest) by local fans as “Gang Green.” Anchoring the D-line for this group of castoffs and misfits was a guy that had been out of the NFL for 4 years, Dave Roller. Roller was drafted by the New York football Giants in the 13th round of the 1971 draft. After 1 year in New York, Roller pulled a Springsteen and fled to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats of the Canadian Football League and subsequently to the Southern California Sun of the World Football League, where he led that league in quarterback sacks in 1974 with 18 sacks and was twice voted all pro 1st team. He then returned to the NFL when Bart came-a-calling in 1975. Roller At 6’2” 270-lbs, Dave was an imposing, physical player by the standards of the day. And since this Coach was as much into All-Star Wrestling in 1975 as I was the Packers, I looked forward to watching Dave Roller on Sunday afternoons after waking up from watching “The Crusher” Lisowski and “The Claw” Baron VonRaschke Saturday nights at 10:30 on TV11. Dave suited up in good ‘ol number 74 for 6 games in ‘75, but started in none. Then he started making waves at defensive tackle in 1976 with 6 starts that included 2 fumble recoveries! 1977 was a breakout year for Dave Roller. In the season opener against New Orleans, he was nominated for lineman of the week having sacked Archie Manning 4 times and had 6 tackles and 3 hurries. Later that same year on December 4 after beating Detroit he was carried off the field; one of only two players to ever be carried off the field at Lambeau (see also, Gary Knafelc in 1955) – both were carried by the fans! Roller is the unofficial inventor of the sack dance (see 1977 photo below), which was later copied and made popular in large media markets by NY Jet pass rusher Mark Gastineau. Although they didn’t keep “sacks” as an official stat until 1982, Dave Roller had 8 of them and 1 fumble recovery in 1977 (last year of only 14 games played per season). 1978 came upon us and Disco was taking Chicagoan’s attention away from the Bears (BTW, they both still suck). Outside of that sh!#hole of a city, normal people recognized VanHalen as the new party band and Detective Allen "Gator" Gamble (Click on link) was introduced to LRB. Big Dave started all 16 games that season for the Pack and had 2 more fumble recoveries. Think of the names along with Dave Roller on the roster that year... 1,000 yard rusher Terdell Middleton and the great Paul Coffman at Tight End, James “Going down?” Lofton, Steve Odom, Aundra Thompson and Willie Taylor as wide outs, Michael “Mad Dog” Douglas and Mike Hunt (hee hee) at OLB with John Anderson in the middle, Johnny Gray at Safety (yes – THAT Johnny Gray) with Asbestos Hood, Mike McCoy and Willie Buchanan joining Johnny in the backfield, Mike Butler and Ezra “Hot Dogs on the Bench!” Johnson at the defensive ends, David Beverly (punter that looked like a 7th grade paper boy) and Chester “the Polish Molester” Marcol with kicking duties, and of course Larry “the Rock” McCarren snapping it to David Whitehurst (who, you’ll recall, took over for Lynn Dickey the year prior when Lynn claimed he “lost the will to play”). It’s hard to believe we didn’t win the Super Bowl in 1978 (Cowboys beat the Broncos that year). In reality, it was Bart’s least crappy year as head coach and GM, going 8-7-1 (congrats!).
So what happened to Dave Roller? After that 1978 season he started a “Packer Envy” trend that has lasted to this day: he was released by Green Bay and then picked up by the Minnesota Vikings like chain-gang trash in their pathetic Oedipus Complex attempt to achieve our level of success, but he started only 8 games in 2 years before leaving that colon polyp of a town (see also, Ryan Longwell, Darren Sharper, Brett Favre, Greg Jennings, Robert Ferguson, Bryce Paup, Bucky Scribner, Mossy Cade, Ruvell Martin, Brandon Bostick). So Dave, on the cusp of winning another North Division Championship at Lambeau on Sunday, thanks for reminding us that Green Bay is the sheriff in this division and the Vikings will always be Barney Fife. Sa-lute! |
Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
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