Did you know that the Cardinals have changed their location name 5 times! That’s a true. If you’re not surprised by that, you might be surprised to learn that the Cardinals were forced to change their 1st location name from “Racine” (named for the street that their home field park was located at – Normal Field) to “Chicago” because of a 1922 league expansion team that hailed from Racine, Wisconsin (Racine Legion). Even more cool, both of these teams played against the Green Bay Packers in 1924. The Cardinals are sorta Coach’s 2nd favorite team (if there is such a moronic thing). Not only because they started as the cool town-name Racine Cardinals, but also because they were founded in 1898 and hold the distinction of being the oldest continuously run professional football franchise in the nation; plus, Coach used to live in northwestern Arizona and the Cards had nearly zero fans anywhere in that state outside of Phoenix – so SOMEONE had to cheer for them or the local "Big John's" sports bar would close and there would be no place to watch the Packers on Sunday mornings (back then, there was no internet or NFL Sunday Ticket…just REALLY BIG satellite dishes at taverns).
Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme Ho hum. In the playoffs again. What is it now, seven years straight? Boy, the preseason seems to get longer every year. Now’s a good time to dust off the playbook and start trying. Last week was clearly the “week 4 preseason game” where we played our scrubs and stayed painfully vanilla on offense and defense. This isn’t a winner take all game coming up Sunday against the Fartinals, but we need to beat them and then have Seattle give a crap in a meaningless game for the Seahoax against AZ the following week (and we beat the Vikings) for us to get a bye. Rewinding the tape against Oakland, it’s really pretty simple. When Kuhn was on the field, our plays were productive and we moved the chains. When we pulled him out, we punted or settled for field goals. Taking Kuhn off the field was an instant drive killer. Taking Kuhn out when in shotgun formation was just plain stupid. MM, if you wanna win, keep Kuhn in. If you wanna lose, go shotgun on 3rd & 2’s. Boom. Oh yeah, and where the hell was the screen pass? That’s been working really well for us as of late – especially in the rainy slop weather. So what does Eminem do? He abandons it. This brain fart almost made Coach’s WTF column, but that section (not surprisingly) is already full this week. What should we expect to see called in Arizona? Well, I hope it’s not that completely worthless, consistently unsuccessful Eddie Lacy or John Kuhn split wide pass to the other side of the field that NEVER works. I have seen them run that play more often than screen passes this year, and at least three times against Oakland. It has never worked. Why do we keep running it? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler? But, we won. It wasn’t pretty, and remember we lost a similar “trap game” to Buffalo in December last year. “This ain’t about style points, the style points, you can flush that.” said Mike McCarthy. “I’m sick of the negativity that goes on here, we’re right where we want to be, we’re right where we need to be. We’ve won 10 games. We lost 3 games on the last play. Denver beat us. That’s the overview of the season.” Coach agrees, we now have won three in a row, and as it stands we have a 3rd Seed. So what’s not to like? The Packers are clearly in playoff mode now, but even though we have qualified and would still be in the playoffs with losses to the Cardinals and Vikings in weeks 16 & 17 – all of Packer Nation is in “Super Bowl Ring or Bust” mode and everyone is fearful of another meltdown in the playoffs. It would be “nice” to win out and possibly get a 2nd seed, which would happen if we win out and AZ “loses out”, but more importantly we want to demonstrate that we can be a dominant team. In Oakland it was a gritty win, but as T.J. Lang said “Offensively, we’ve definitely got some work to do, wish we wouldn’t have to talk about it in Week 15.” Added Bakhtiari “everyone is accustomed to last year’s offense. We’ve got a hell of a defense and our special teams continue day in, day out to step up. When we have all three phases of the game clicking, I’ll take that.…” Offensively the biggest issue has been the passing game, and AR continues to muddle along at a mere “average” 12th ranking in passer rating and alarmingly he has slipped a bit further to 28th in yards per attempt. Certainly much of the cause (blame) goes to the receivers , but AR is continuing to hold the ball too long and on many of his throws he is not following through, so the ball isn’t as accurate (see the yips discussion a few weeks back). We want our Aaron back, and maybe now that his much-publicized relationship with HBO-tart Olivia Munn has ended, he'll soon be back to form. Notice how accurate he has become only a couple of days after the breakup: Aaron Rodgers Dude Perfect Trick Throws Thankfully on the Defensive side, Julius Peppers made a surprise appearance for 2 ½ sacks in Oakland. The guy looks like a beast and if he decides to actually play like he’s capable of every game from here on out we’ll be in good shape. Our Defense is ranked 5th in Points/game --- the most important category --- but we gave up 372 yards and continue to be ranked 17th in yards / game…a meaningless statistic unless you can’t get critical stops. The Caper’s Nickel -- playing 2DL, 4LB’s with LB’s deep, and press man on the outside with deep cover-2 Safeties -- is good for stopping teams that have to pass when they are down by two or more scores late in games, but simply does not have enough beef at the Line-of-Scrimmage. Because of that it is very susceptible to the play-action because the LB’s and the Safeties have to start running toward the line to support the lonely DL. The Dime version of this Defense (2-3-6 and 1-4-6) are what Kaepernick and the 49’ers gashed in the 2012 playoffs for record run yardage. WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like 2:36 left on the clock in the 4th, up by 10, and in field goal range. 3rd and several to go, what do you do? Well, there are a few debatable options, but passing the ball (not to mention into double coverage) is NOT one of them. WTF? Why the hell did Aaron Rodgers run a pass play, and why did he choose to throw the ball ‘toward’ Jeff Janis (or, more truthfully, 5 yards short of Jeff Janis)? In terms of football decisions, that could have been the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas (next to maybe sitting down on an interception when you could easily run it into scoring range in the NFC Championship game when you’re up by 12 points with 5 minutes left on the clock … but I digress). When I saw CM3 trotting back out onto the field to play defense after that idiotic play/throw, I thought to myself… “If Clay gets hurt now because Olivia-whipped ARod thought he could be cool like Favre, I will be cross.” (See also, Michael Strahan record-breaking sack) Next WTF: My favorite target, the Ref’s. OK, so Aaron Rodgers famously throws a 65-yard Hail Mary pass in Detroit a couple of weeks ago on a nationally televised Thursday night game. If you’re at all associated with the NFL or a fan of it, surely you viewed or heard about the Hail Mary or had seen the replay (over and over and over again). C’mon refs. You know that the Packers have every intention of attempting another one as the clock is ticking down before halftime. ARod clearly calls time out with 2 seconds left on the clock, but no ref’s granted it or were watching him or whatever / who knows. What the hell were the ref’s doing – they know we’ve got timeouts left and there are a few ticks left on the clock! WTF? The only thing I can figure is that they were the same Ref’s that called the Badgers / ASU game 2 years ago. Stave Kneel Down Finally for WTF this week: Pro Bowl selections. To be honest, Coach doesn’t really care about players making the Pro Bowl, because it’s ALL about the Lombardi Trophy. You know that. See also, 2010 Pro Bowl selections and recall who won Super Bowl 45. That said… It's hard to imagine (sigh) that the Dallas Cowboys -- the 1st team in the worst division in football to be ousted from playoff contention (you might recall the Packers recently beat them by 3 touchdowns), have 4 ProBowlers!!! The Packers were already in the playoffs before kickoff in Week 15 and are likely to win their division ahead of another playoff team, yet only have 3 ProBowlers this year, 2 of which have had their personal-worst years on the field (Aaron Rodgers and Josh Sitton), and the 3rd, the Claymaker, has had a pretty good year with regards to his presence making everyone else on his side of the ball more effective (save Julius Peppers). Other teams with 3 ProBowlers this year: Oakland Raiders, New York Jets, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, and St. Louis Rams – pretty mediocre company. Teams with more ProBowlers than the Packers (not including Cowboys): Cardinals (7, uh oh), Panthers (10, I get it), Bengals (5, don’t care about AFC), Broncos (4), Chiefs (5 – but they always have an inflated quantity due to interweb-happy voters in the KC area, see also KC-Royals 8 starters in MLB All-Star game), Patriots (7), Seahawks (7). Should we be upset? Not really. I mean, who is best player at their position this year other than Clay? John Kuhn SHOULD be in the Pro Bowl as the best NFL fullback, but the Clements/McCarthy playcalling debacle refuses to properly exploit that precious resource in the manner deserved – so we will likely remain luke warm Offensively until that switch gets flipped. The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Speaking of ProBowl selections... Too easy. The Chicago Bears … hmmmm … let’s see, are there any selections over there? No? None? Zero? Really? Huh. That’s a shocker. If you noticed on the 2010 Pro Bowl roster – the season da Bears HOSTED the NFC Championship game, they only had 1 player selected (Ha!). I guess it’s just more proof that the Bears still suck. This is the easiest and most truthful article to write each week. Thank you, Bears, and your FIB fans that suck, too. Have fun in Los Angeles next year you douche bag pricks. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground Coach is taking this opportunity to announce the impending “Jim Bakken award for exemplary play” (or JBAFEP) in Cardinals-Packers games. You probably remember that in 1959, the Badgers won the Big 10 Conference where Jim shared QB duties with Dale Hackbart. Besides his QB duties, Jim, a Madison native and Madison West HS alum, also did the punting and shared the kicking duties for Bucky. Against Northwestern his senior year, Co-Captain Jim kicked a 90-yard punt, a 47-yard field goal and intercepted a pass for a touchdown as the Badgers upset a strong Wildcat team. After his playing days at Wisconsin, the St. Louis Cardinals claimed Jim as a kicker/defensive back where he played 17 years in St. Louis from 1962-78. During his career, Jim set several Cardinal scoring records as well as an NFL record 7 field goals in one game (of 9 attempts) – a record that stood for a LOOOONG time and has only been tied. Jim was voted to play in four Pro Bowls -- 1965, 1967, 1975, 1976. He was voted as the kicker of the decade of the 60's. He stands third all-time on the list of consecutive games playing in the NFL -- 230. He scored 1,380 points which ranked second only to George Blanda when he retired in 1978. Most importantly, though, Jim has a smoking-hot daughter who is also a Sconnie grad (at least that was the case back in the day when she went to UW). Let’s hope a Packer wins this year’s prestigious JBAFEP on Sunday from Coach Clarahanson! As mentioned in prior weeks, this year’s Holiday bowl game at 9:30pm on Wednesday rejoins the teams of the 1963 national championship and Rose Bowl: Wisconsin vs USC (click on link). This video of the 37-42 contest is priceless for any Badger fan, except of course for the final outcome. Next week is payback time! So, how many former USC and Wisconsin players are in our Sunday NFL showdown? From Wisconsin!...
We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Before you look for the photo of Aaron getting face-masked in OT during the 2009 playoff matchup in Arizona, which resulted in the Cardinals getting an undeserved fumble-recovery-for-a-touchdown win and an appearance in SB 43, I’m not even gonna mention that (unless we meet up with them again in the playoffs). In a big blow to our team, Brett Goode – the Packers long snapper, was placed on IR this week. Never heard of Brett Goode? Good! It’s because he’s been that good… he’s been automatic at snapping for field goals and punts. Goode tore his ACL right before the trip to Oakland during an appearance on the “WLUK Fox 11 Christmas with the Packers” TV special where he baked holiday meatloaf with his kinda-hot-with-lots-of-makeup-on wife, Monica Cayce (of CBS “Amazing Race” fame). He tried to play through the injury for the Oakland game, but can't continue toughing it out anymore this year. Hopefully newly signed Rick “Demi” Lovato (Old Dominion College, no NFL playing experience) will be just as unnoticeable as Brett. Almost hate to say it, but I’m sorta glad Cardinals DB Tyrann “Honey Badger” Mathieu tore his ACL last week. After watching this 2016 highlights video of the Honey Badger, I think we woulda been in trouble against that guy. Tyrann Mathieu 2016 Highlights Then again, we’ve got a pretty intimidating defensive player of our own, Clay Matthews III. No question that opposing Offenses need to account for where Clay is on the field. And there’s little doubt they’re even a little scared of him. Did you notice at halftime that he was bullying the other players on the way into the tunnel? Beyond raw intimidation, though, the Packers will beat the Cardinals this weekend because:
Offensively, Coach is feeling a breakout game for Jared Abbrederis and our Tight Ends. Don’t bench Julio Jones for Abbrederis on your fantasy team just yet, tough, as Jared’s contributions to the victory will be more like death by a thousand cuts. Look for him to come through with the Christmas jewelry by repeatedly setting up shop in soft spots on the field … much like a TE. His route running effectiveness (and ability to actually “catch” balls that are thrown to him) on crucial downs and distance will open up occasional, more glamorous downfield pitches to Adams and Jones. This Abbrederis opportunity will look similar to, and be set up by, the return of one Andrew Quarless, who will to block well and line up in TE sets with RRod, which in turn will expose the AZ Safety who is currently playing as an undersized and averagely-productive ILB, Deone Bucannon -- and who is getting a disproportionate amount of media pundit accolades as being quick for a little guy (Coach likes run-on sentences with lots of commas). Who’s responsible for the idiotic football move of starting a Safety at Middle Linebacker? Jen Welter was hired by the Cardinals this year to coach their inside linebackers. Welter is the first woman to hold a coaching position of any kind in the NFL. She played running back and special teams in 2014 for the Texas Revolution of the Indoor Football League, becoming the first woman to hold a non-kicking position for a men's professional sports league. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but rest assured it is why the elite media is praising Bucannon's play. That reminds me, there's a big sale at Dalton Carpet Outlet on Holmgren Way. JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them At the beginning of this week’s blog Coach mentioned that the Cardinals were founded in 1898 and hold the distinction of being the oldest continuously run professional football franchise in the nation, but you might have noticed that the “Cardinals” name doesn’t appear until 1919. The Morgan Athletic Club began life in on the South Side of Chicago in 1898. Soon after founding the team they began playing at Normal Field on Racine Street in Chicago and became known as the “Normals”. In 1901 they purchased some used, faded, maroon jerseys from the University of Chicago which looked “cardinal” in color and they became known as the “Racine Cardinals”. The “oughts” and the “teens” were tough on football and it was hard to find competition. Add in WWI and a sever flu epidemic, and the team had to suspend operations twice. Beginning with the 1919 season, the Cardinals started operations a third time – then later updated their letterhead to the “Chicago Cardinals” in 1922 for reasons explained in the intro. The Green Bay area had contemporaneous pro football teams around that same turn-'o-the-century era, but sadly none can be directly connected to the Packers, so the Pack can ‘only’ claim 1919 as our beginning. In 1920 the Racine Cardinals became charter members of the American Professional Football Association (now NFL) along with 11 other teams including the Decatur Staleys (Chicago Bears). The rest, as they say, is history. The person keeping the minutes of the first league meeting recorded the Cardinals as from Racine, Wisconsin (which Coach has now adopted as the official history) so we can claim two NFL teams from the Badger State. The Packers and Cardinals have been playing since 1921 and the Packers lead the series 47-23-4, including the postseason series which is officially tied at 1-1 (even though the ref's blew that outcome in 2009). Green Bay joined the League in 1921. Coach points out that officially licensed Packer gear today is always inscribed “1921” if there is any reference to time, but that is the merely the year that the NFL says we joined the League (we were stripped of our 1st 2 years, but that's a story for another day), not the year we were founded. Coach chuckles at the “subversive” nature of the newly opened “1919” restaurant in the Lambeau Field Atrium. Take that in your cash register NFL!!! The 1925 season ended in perhaps the greatest controversy in professional football history. When the Pottsville Maroons were stripped of their 1925 Championship for having played an unauthorized exhibition game, the League offered the Championship to the Cardinals. Team owner, Chris O'Brien, refused to accept the championship title because his team did not deserve to take the title over a team which had beaten them fairly on the field. Another reason to like the Cardinals. But in 1933, Charles W. Bidwill, Sr., a vice president of the Chicago Bears, purchased the Cardinals and began to claim the 1925 title as its own (clearly this was due to his unethical training with Bears, who I remind you, still suck). The only other NFL Championship that the Cardinals can claim is in 1947 over the Eagles. Bidwell’s widow, Violet, moved the team to St. Louis in 1960. (Georgia Frontiere did a similar thing with the LA Rams in 1995. Why to rich widows keep moving their inherited NFL teams to St. Louis? Gold digger’s prerogative? When Jerry Jones is pushing up daisies -- hopefully sooner rather than later, will his twenty-something widow move the Cowboys to St. Louis? Just sayin.) Twenty-eight years of futility in St. Louis drove the Cardinals to relocate again, this time to Phoenix in the spring of 1988. After a dozen more years of frustration and inability to build a sizable fan base, the "Phoenix" Cardinals became known as the "Arizona" Cardinals in an attempt to become more inclusive to Arizonans circa 1994. One more thing on Cardinals history that you need to know… Curly Lambeau left the Packers in 1950 and joined the Chicago Cardinals as their head coach. Lambeau, one of the original founders of the Packers and their only head coach until that time, lost a power struggle to the executive committee of the Packers (in a classic “You can’t fire me, I quit!” move) and left to go south. The reaction in Green Bay to his joining the Cardinals was much like #4 going to the Vikings. In an eerie parallel to Brent Farv, Curly only lasted two years, and his teams went a combined 7-15. Lambeau then finished his coaching career in Washington, just as Vince Lombardi would almost twenty years later. Huh, that's wierd. OK, at this point I know what you’re thinking, “That’s a great history of the Cardinals, Coach, but who is the player we’re supposed to salute this week? My ass is getting red lines from the toilet seat and the Mrs keeps knocking at the bathroom door for me to get out.” Well, I'll tell ya who we're gonna salute -- he was one of the best to wear number 26 for the Packers. With all due respect to Eric Torkelson and Herb Adderley, CHUCK CECIL is probably one of my favorite Packers. (click on link)… Chuck Cecil Lays the Wood on Bears RB Chuck was a true bad ass, at a time when the Packers sorely needed a bad ass that could put the fear into opposing players à la Ronnie Lott. He became the hardest hitting safety in the NFL when the HOF Safety for the 49ers started to slide just past his prime. Cecil was selected by the Packers in the 4th round (89th overall) in 1988 and was known for leaving his feet and leading with his helmet, which was legal in those days. Chuck Cecil was featured on the October 11, 1993 issue of Sports Illustrated with the question: "Is Chuck Cecil Too Vicious for the NFL?” He was nicknamed “Scud” by the media because of his missile-like hits on Offensive targets (and, yes, he played while the Persian Gulf War was being fought). During much of his career, Cecil was forced to wear a "Gazoo” helmet, which is a thick padding that fits on a helmet's shell to reduce the risk of receiving a concussion and reducing the risk of injury to opponents due to helmet-first hits (for which Chuck Cecil was fined numerous times). Despite the additional protection, recurring concussions eventually forced Cecil into retirement. Prior to that, though, he made the Pro Bowl as a Packer in 1992. In 1993, Chucky was signed by the Arizona Cardinals as an unrestricted free agent, and he was the Safety in their “Desert Storm” defense. The move was sort of a home coming for Cecil, as the California native went to U of A in nearby Tucson where he had 9 interceptions in his senior season. The Packers could not afford to pay Cecil after his trip to Hawaii because they broke the bank on a different free agent signing that year, Reginald Howard White. So where is Chuck Cecil now? Well, he WAS the Defensive Coordinator for the Tennessee Titans under Jeff Fischer. Chuck ended his playing days in 1995 as a Houston Oiler, and stayed affiliated with that organization when they moved to Tennessee. But, consistent with his play as a Safety, on October 3, 2010, Cecil signaled his disagreement with a Ref's call by utilizing the international symbol of dissatisfaction (caught on TV), and he was fined once again (this time, 40 large) and then sent packing after 2 years as Titans DC. He’s now the DB coach for Fischer in St. Louis (or whatever city they’ll play for in 9 months from now). So Chuck “Scud” Cecil, as we get ready to clash in a physical matchup with the Arizona Cardinals on Sunday, we all salute you as a one-of-a-kind, bad-ass Packer great! …and so?!
Thanks for reading. Don’t forget to flush.
0 Comments
How ‘bout dem Cowboys! As predicted, they suck, too. To quote Bart Simpson, “Haa, Ha.” Jerry Jones is the new Wayne Fonts … sure he had some initial success, but as long as he’s around the Packers will dominate his team. Glad to see his demise, and it’s fun to watch his spiral into crapdom. But on to DA RAIDERS! In a great Wisconsin tradition, Coach grew up in a time and place where every kid played football and every kid wanted to be Bart Starr or Ray Nitschke or Boyd Dowler or Paul Hornung und so weiter. (Und in dieser Zeit gab es viel mehr Deutsch sprechenden Menschen in Wisconsin als heute, aber das bedeutet nicht für diese Geschichte nichts, außer zu sagen, dass die Deutschen wirklich wie in Klammern Kommentare zusätzliche Einzelheiten zur Verfügung zu stellen.) So what to do? How do you split up the neighborhood football teams when everybody wants to be the Packers? Simple. Turn to the AFL. In our neighborhood Coach played for Da Raiders and Coach’s brother played for the Bolts, both great teams at the time. So while Coach has a warm spot his heart for da Raiders, and will wax on romantically about how Al Davis collected castoffs to win Super Bowls, he still wants to poke out the other eye with one of those stupid looking blades. Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme It’s the economy, Stupid. After the resounding 21 point victory over the Cowgirls, Aaron Rodgers was asked if he thought having Mike McCarthy call the plays made a difference. Aaron reservedly responded, “I don’t think our problem was execution, it was definitely lame-ass play calling by Tom Clements. I’ve been asking for this change since the 2nd quarter of the Broncos game, but Mike didn’t want to do it because it would be like admitting he was wrong. Now that our backs are against the wall and Mike’s employment is being questioned by Packer owners who post hilarious yet insightful blogs, he finally grew a pair.” Well, I couldn’t have said it better myself, Aaron. Now we will run the table, and the soaring Seahawks should beat the Cards in week 17, so then we’ll get a 1st round bye. Glad Mike finally changed his mind. So here we are –-- 13 regular season games in the books with 3 to go --- a number 3 seed if the NFL Playoffs started today and 3 quality opponents left on the schedule. Before we get to looking at the Cowgirls game let’s have a quick gander at a few Offensive and Defensive statistical ranking for the Packers. Our next three opponents are in the top 10 in each key category.
Against the Cowboys we were very effective running un-scouted looks (you’re welcome). The screen shot below is pre-snap on Stark’s TD run. Sal very astutely observed that Rodgers is lined up at Shotgun Depth, but in a “Pistol” formation with Starks behind him. The Packers pass out of Shotgun almost 100% of the time (again, see table above), but clearly the Cowboys were confused pre-snap, and notice the Safety is lined-up to the right/strong-side of the formation. Good catch Sal (and thanks for scientifically validating my assertions), even more kudos to MM/AR to create some confusion, and even more kudos to me for telling them to do it a week ago. WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like Coach has opined for several weeks, and you probably have, too, that McCarthy should take back play calling duties. Last week I softened it up a bit by pleading for a change in play calling “tendencies”… alas, Magic Mike read “The Coach Clarahanson Show!” and took over play calling duties. Of course I’m flattered (but not really surprised) that Eminem is a loyal reader of this fact-based diagnosis regarding his team and that he usually takes my sound advice whenever it is politically expedient, but I must say that he failed to read the caveat last week … do not make STUPID play calling decisions for the sake of being unpredictable. In this case, he started the 2nd half series without a running back in the backfield … WTF? The ONE thing that WAS working almost flawlessly in the first half was giving the ball to Lacy and Starks. Why the hell did McCarthy stop doing that????????????? I’m okay with putting Cobb in the backfield now and then – hey, it’s a clever way to mix things up and keep D’s on their heels. Shoot, Cobb could even throw a pass once in a while! But having Cobb in the backfield consistently with no RB’s play after play after play – especially when it isn’t effective, that sh!#’s gotta stop, man. Here’s the “duh”: (1) keep choosing the plays that work well – over and over and over again until the D can consistently stop them (especially if it involves running the ball and even if it is boring); (2) stop running the plays that don’t work even when you think they should. We don’t need you to be a genius, just unpredictable. The TD pass to R-Rod in the 2nd Q is a perfect example: it was a simple “Hey, Bubba Franks, go run 8 yards toward the left and sit down” route that worked because we consistently ran the ball and then A-Rod lined up under center in the I-formation. Basic stuff, but mixed in at the right time (Ja, das ist gut!). (click on link) TE Touchdown Pass And another question, “What’s the deal with Dez Bryant?” I mean, why does that guy keep putting the ball on the ground and then complain that he caught it? WTF? Read the rule book, man. You CAN read, can’t you? Maybe he’s a reason the ref’s are compelled explain the overtime rules to players when regulation play ends in a tie score, even though most 5th graders are keenly aware of the subtle changes that apply in quarter número cinco. P.S. Don’t send your kids to Oklahoma State. The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Hee hee. The Bears. Man, it’s too easy – they really do suck! It’s almost exhausting to witness over and over again. This week’s domination was provided by the feeble Washington Foreskins of the NFC Least division. Nobody in that division has a winning record, and if the Bears were in that division, they would be in 4th place. What a joke. Click your heels together and repeat “Los Angeles Bears” 3 times. It’s common knowledge that Rodger Goodell has implied the Rams will likely be moving – possibly by as soon as next year. Just recently, his daughter, Gracelyn, was captured on a Snapchat drunken rant at an NYU fraternity party rambling on that St. Louis would be joining the NFC North. At the time, it was puzzling, but the dots are now connected with the new, otherwise seemingly unrelated news that John Fox just bought a mansion in Malibu (and several of his assistants have contacted Los Angeles area real estate agents). When reached for comment about this information, Jay Cutler said “Neat, chicks are pretty hot there. I should know, I’ve been there, and they were. Hot, I mean. Wait, what was your question?” Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground With 2 weeks left until our underwhelming match against the University of Spoiled Children in the Holiday Bowl, we dedicate this week to bashing the TrOJans – easy to hate with alums like OJ “cold blooded murderer” Simpson, Prettyboy Pete Carroll, Keyshawn “throw me the damn ball” Johnson, Mark “butt-fumble” Sanchez, and Todd Marijuanavich leading the list of cheaters, killers, drug addicts, and just plain knuckleheads. Coach recommends this website (click on link) The Trojan-Haters Club. Here are the top ten reasons why the TrOJans suck and why the Badgers are better: 1. U$C entices recruits with illegal benefits like houses and Land Rovers, and admits anyone, regardless of academic fraud or criminal transgression, in a “win-at-any-cost” mentality, making an even playing field an impossibility.
GO BADGERS! Will Ferrell - Honorary Wisconsonite We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Don’t just take it from me, here’s what NFL analyst and former Raiders linebacker Bill Romanowski had to say... (click on link) Bill Romanowski Raiders Insights Just win, baby. Hopefully Mike Daniels has 42 million new reasons to knock the snot out of Derek Carr on Sunday. Coach is not too thrilled with NFL schedulers that put back-to-back west coast trips on the schedule, but it is what it is. Winning the next 3 games will make us stronger and well-tuned for playoff demands. We can really use a bye week off, though. So, what will it take to beat the Gayders on Sunday? McCarthy often brings up “preparation” as a key to victory. I can tell you that he’s right, and it’s another reason we’ll win. I can’t get into the details of Packer preparation (Coach is sworn to secrecy to obtain the inside information that keeps my finger on the pulse of the team), but I can share recently obtained clips of the Raiders that were picked up off the editing room floor from the HBO documentary Hard Knocks stop in Oakland, and in my humble opinion they do not look like a football team that is prepared to win an NFL game … (click on link) Hard Knocks: 2015 Raiders JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them A couple of Raiders with Wisconsin connections deserve mention this week. First up, short-time Packer Ted Hendricks, and his improbable impact on our Ted Thompson… Nicknamed the "Mad Stork” because of his 6’7”, 220 lb frame, Ted Hendricks, the three time All American of the Miami Hurricanes, was drafted in the 2nd Round of the 1969 Draft by the Baltimore Colts. A defensive end in college, Don Shula converted him to linebacker and he was a pivotal player on the 1970 Colts team that won Super Bowl V. In total he played 15 seasons and collected three more rings, winning Super Bowls XI, XV and XVIII with the Raiders. He was also a central character in the dumpster-fire known as the Packers in the 70’s and 80’s. With the Colts losing contractual control of Hendricks, they traded him to the Packers for an eighth round pick. In Green Bay he had the best year of his 15-year career. He led the team with five interceptions and blocked an NFL record seven kicks (three punts, three field goals, and one extra point) and was named All Pro and selected for the Pro Bowl. You think JJ Watt is good? Hendricks was even better. However, the one-year contract Hendricks had signed with GM/Coach Devine had no option year, making Hendricks a free agent in 1975. New coach Packers Bart Starr would not meet Hendricks’ contract demands – chiefly that his contract be guaranteed (to add further frustration to the mix, Hendricks was quoted by several sources as wanting to stay in Green Bay, he simply wanted “protection against injury” in his contract). Starr could not see what a special talent Hendricks was or how it was worthwhile to go to unusual lengths to keep him, and more importantly - he needed draft picks. Because of Dan Devine’s colossal trade blunder for QB John Hadl the year prior (see Week 5: Packers vs. Rams), Bart traded Ted to the Raiders for two 1st round picks. We all love Bart so we tend to skip over his years in the front office, but he pretty much sucked as a GM. He squandered those two picks on a decent DE (Ezra “leave a hot dog for me on the bench” Johnson) and a bust on the OL (Mark “Canker Sore” Koncar) which did nothing to plug the gap of the 5 picks given up for Hadl. In a moment of Zen consciousness, Coach is convinced that Ted Thompson’s brain has the “Tale of Hadl & Hendricks” seared into his psyche. Coach doesn’t know how the wheels work inside the head of TT….but Ted’s aversion to big trades and high dollar free agent signings exhibits the mark of his tutelage by Ron Wolf, who in-turn was mentored by Al Davis. So ponder this as you sip your orange soda and munch on popcorn during the game Sunday: “What if Devine hadn’t made the Hadl trade? What if Bart hadn’t screwed up and let Hendricks go?” Two crucial decisions; decisions that sent the Rams and Raiders onto upward trajectories and helped ruin the Packers for the better part of two decades!! Now, because you've read this far and clearly have your priorities messed up, your reward is vicarious participation in a big shout out to quintessential NFL tough guy, “Clubs Are Trump”-land native and NFL Hall of Famer, Jim Otto. The donner of the famous “00” for the Raiders hails from Wausau and coincidentally also played his college years at University of Miami, just like our aforementioned anchor baby, the Guatemala born “Stork”. Otto was an animal, starting at center in 308 straight games for the Raiders and playing all 10 years of the AFL’s existence and 5 years beyond. For his effort, Jim’O has had 74 surgeries, including 28 knee operations (nine of them during his playing career alone) and multiple joint replacements. OUCH! This makes you want to tell our current OL to suck it up, get in there, and play!
Otto was on the losing end of SBII against the Lombardi led Packers, and never made it back to the Super Bowl. He did play in another 6 AFL / AFC championships, losing all 6 including the “Immaculate Reception” game against the Steelers in ’72, in which Otto caught his only NFL pass. Later, Dudes. Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! Redemption! Thursday night Richard Rodgers showed Notre Dame Fighting Irish alum, Golden Tate, how to actually catch a Hail Mary pass and, in the process, crushed Tate with 2,000 pounds of irony. Click on link___ Irish Irony The Lions should not get too distraught about the way that game ended, though. In fact, they really should have expected it. Not because they are perennial losers and just plain pathetic, but because they are the yin and we are the yang of the NFL (go ahead, look it up - it's true). Click on link___ same old same old Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme In a tough compromise of "What to watch?" on Thursday night, I decided to focus my sights on the entire Packer game. I forfeited a chance during the first 3 quarters to watch paint dry, and I clearly made the wrong choice. Well, it certainly was an inauspicious start to the Cryons game. Typically level-headed Packer fans were gathering their torches and pitchforks early, calling for the firings of Capers (well, that's every week), but also for automatic-McCarthy and untouchable-Ted Thompson. Mark Murphy was sifting through his Contacts looking for John Schneider's phone number before the half ended. Down 17-0 in the 2nd quarter, Crosby hits the upright. I began debating if I should bother watching the 2nd half, or slam my face into the corner of a door jam and punch myself in the nuts, and then just call it a night. 3rd quarter starts ... Lions get the ball and run screen plays over and over because we can't defend it, and they matriculate the ball down the field for an easy 3. CBS shows Polaroid photos of the game's commentators from when the last time the Lions swept the Packers 24 years ago (BTW, Tracy Wolfson was a lot hotter in high school, which woulda been some guy's "married my high school sweetheart" mistake ... just sayin). Crosby's 2Q miss seems meaningless at this point... By the middle of the 3rd quarter, every receiver is double covered (still) and we can't gain any yardage on the ground. ...And that's when it happened... MM says to himself, "What would Mike Holmgren do?" The answer was crystal clear: "Make adjustments, dipsh!#." So we start calling plays that we've never run in games before -- a.k.a. unscouted looks (see the Ice Bowl relevance at the bottom of this week's JB section), and we inserted players off the bench like Crockett and Abbrederis -- like it's the preseason or something. The Lions look confused. Up until that point, it seemed like they knew every play we were going to call. It helped, too, that we started to run the REAL "hurry up" offense (not just a "no-huddle" offense). The Lions started to get gassed. Starks does his best impression of Ken Stabler near the goal line, Cobb falls on the ball in the end zone, and viola! our "scoreless" drought ends ironically at 69 minutes. After Peppers knocks the rock out of Stafford's hand on the ensuing possession, we're back in bidness. How'd we score? Another unscouted look! We put Adams in motion so he couldn't get jammed at the line and gave him a seam route. Clever, Clements. What took you so long? A-Rod runs another TD in later and now you know the rest of the story. So here's the skinny: we need Eminem and his offensive coordinator(s) to diversify their play calling and abandon the stubborn approach of running plays that they think should work, but don't (Coach particularly hates the -2 yard sideline pass to a tight end or wide out that always kills drives).
WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like Our pot-smoking, tree-hugging, place kicker from Colorado, Mason "Tickleshits" Crosby, refuses to make game winning field goals against the Detroit Lions. Recall he Charlie Brown'd a game winning attempt in Lambeau 3 weeks ago (AAUGH!), but then remarkably set an NFL record the following week by making five 40+ yarders in a freezing cold Minnesota game. Sure, the glorious Rodgers-to-Rodgers connection won the Lions game Thursday night, but that play wasn't even necessary if Crosby does his job in the 2nd quarter. When asked why he doinked that chip shot in the cozy confines of the Jason Hanson FordDome, a bitchy Mason puffed his chest out and aggressively grandstanded that "Detroit is too big to fail and we should feel sorry for them and their organizational ineptitude, regardless of their several decades of bad decision making and refusal to deal with the competitive landscape evolving around them. Somebody has to bail them out, despite their lack of production and inflated wages. What's fair is fair, isn't that what America is about? I think everybody in this league should get a piece of what was earned by those who sacrificed most, worked the hardest, and outperformed the rest. We really should give 1 of our many Lombardi trophies to the Lions, and probably 1 to the Vikings, too." He later lamented that he wished he could think of a metaphor for all that. In Crosby's "Rainbow Land" the Bears would get to keep their 1 trophy because that's all they have. After leaving the interview, unreliable sources confirmed that Crosby was overheard commenting to those in his entourage that he was impressed with the sizable influx of Middle Eastern Muslims in the Detroit area, and that he's hopeful more radical Islamic immigrants will come over soon. WTF? Is he a terrorist? Is he an Al-Qaeda? Who knows? The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Just when you thought the Bears are on to something, it turns out they still really suck. After tanking the game at home against the 49ers, QB and team leader Jay Cutler emphasized to Bear fans that they never makes the playoffs anyway and this loss means they'll get more ping pong balls come draft day. Heartthrob kicker Robbie Gould choked TWICE on chip shot field goals -- the 2nd miss was WAAAYYYYYYYY wide left as time expired in regulation. I noticed that during the coin toss for overtime, the head referee had to explain the rules for overtime to the players. As professional football players, shouldn't they already know the rules of the game? I know the overtime rules. I'm pretty sure you do, too. Neither of us are NFL players, yet we know the rules ... why don't they? Are they twits? Even though they lost (as usual) in laughable fashion to the forty-whiners in overtime on Sunday, it is undeniable that the Bears' play has improved over the course of the year (it only had one direction to go, I suppose). Chicago beat-writers credit the John Fox coaching staff with implementing "outside-the-box" innovative new methodologies in their practices this year, which purportedly have resonated really well with the players and have on occasion resulted in what Bears management refers to as “not-losses.” Coach knows a guy from Illinoise that took footage of Bears training camp this past August (open to the public), but to be honest -- other than the hokey decathlon-style, staged "obstacle course" competitions, I haven't really noticed a difference in their training techniques from years prior. But you can view the video and judge for yourself... Click on link___ Fox 2015 Training Camp Footage Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground As we get ready to go Bowling in San Diego on December 30th against the University of Spoiled Children, let's celebrate the best of getting ready for previous Badger football games in 2015... More in-depth pre-game analysis of the upcoming Holiday Bowl matchup between the Badgers and the Trojans in the upcoming weeks... Spoiler alert, the Big Ten will remain the sole conference of the National Champions since the implementation of a true college football playoff system. MSU will squeak by AL in a close matchup, and will out defend the winner of the OK/Clemson game. Next year, Bucky goes to Indy for a crack at it, too. We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Packers injury report: During the receiver's portion of post-game press conference in Detroit, Jared Abbrederis revealed to reporters in an opening statement that he (as reported by TMZ) is indeed the illegitimate son of former NFL quarterback Chris Chandler -- the result of a "last hurrah" as a Buccaneer when in town to play the Packers before being sent to Phoenix. When the dust settled from that bombshell, getting back to football Post-Crescent sports editor Gabe "Ears" Nonamacher asked Jared how it felt to be back out on the field contributing to the team -- and then Abbrederis tore his left meniscus while leaning into the microphone to respond. Concerned teammate James Jones immediately jumped up and went to Jared (sorry) to help him down from the podium, but dropped him - rupturing Jared's spleen. A timetable for Abbrederis’ return is not yet known, but will likely be longer than what all medical professionals would expect. Chandler could not be reached for comment as he recovers in Palm Springs from an unrelated sprained elbow, a debilitating hangnail, and really chapped lips. Speaking of injuries, considering the injury-riddled Cowboys and the passion they continue to play on with, one can't help but draw parallels of their story to that of the Oscar winning film, Brokeback Mountain... Those Cowgirls beat the even more inept Washington Foreskins on Monday night. Amazingly, Dallas at 4-8 are only one game out of first place in the woefully awful NFC East (where the other teams, including the Bronx Midgets and the Philadelphia Feebles, are all 5-7). The Cassel-lead / Homo-less (sapien) Cowboys will do everything in their power to revenge last year’s playoff loss at Lambeau...but karma is a funny thing. The Packers have one of the strongest rosters in the NFL, even after all of the injuries at every position group except DL. They have not been playing like it, but TT has indeed assembled a roster that is truly deep and Coach expects those guys to shine this week. The frustration with the offense has been high, but expect a power running game with Crocket and Starks to light up Lambeau and Richard Rodgers catching more balls up the seam to drive the offense. This will open up the play action game to keep Mike backer Sean Lee honest. A mobile Rodgers might move the pocket a bit, too, which is where he can do a lot of damage against pocket rushers. The offense will have their most productive game of the year. Defense and Special Teams will get in the act with a plus-2 turnover ratio and at least one TD from D or ST. The only thing Coach doesn’t know is whether one week is enough to cure Eddie’s rectal-cranial inversion...Coach would like to see Eddie inactive for a week to emphasize the message that NFL careers are short. Final: GB 35 – CG 13 First, let’s be clear, Coach doesn’t give a rat’s patutey about the AFL, or even the AFC for that matter. It’s still a bunch of half-assed expansion teams (with 3 exceptions --- trivia question for another time), and Coach feigns passing interest if only to see who the Pack will face in SB L. Coach would like to have a 1st Round Bye, which means the playoffs start now. Have a gander at the currently projected playoff seeding, a.k.a. “if the playoffs started today” (it would be January, and I'd be drinking the yield of that homebrew kit my wife wrapped up and hid in the basement so I wouldn't see it before Christmas/Kwanza/Hanukah), courtesy of CBS Sports website. As much as Coach loves the idea of the Seachickens coming to Lambeau for a playoff game (we always beat them at home), Coach would rather they show up here in the 2nd Round. Click on link___Packers Beat Down Seahoax at Lambeau to Advance to 2008 NFC Championship Game The Pack needs to win-out to get the 1st Round Bye:
We have the talent, now let’s show that we can do it as a team. If you want to waste thousands of hours looking at scenarios, have fun with the ESPN playoff calculator: http://espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs/machine The good news is that the Pack are at least in the playoffs in all scenarios except one (the "Illinois lottery" scenario). JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them The top 5 games against Dallas, says me: #5) ’66 Championship GB 34 - CG 27 Jan 1st, 1967 Cotton Bowl Dandy Don Meredith of MNF fame actually played football as well, and he had the Cowgirls driving for a score late when he was intercepted by CB Tom Brown to seal the win and propel the Packers to the AFL-NFL Championship game, where the Pack would beat down the Chiefs 35-10 #4) “Matt Flynn Bowl” GB 37 - CG 36 Dec 15th, 2013 Jerry’s World With AR still recovering from a busted wing, the Pack were big dogs in this game. But trusty Matt came thru overcoming a 26-3 halftime deficit. The Pack went on to humiliate the Bears in Week17 and win the NFC North and this game ultimately drove the CG out of playoff contention. Did Coach mention that the Bears still suck? #3) “Whiners” GB 26 – CG 21 Jan 11th, 2015 Lambeau A year later they are still whining about Michael Irvin’s dropped pass (oh wait, Dez Bryant), even though (1) they shouldn’t have been in the game in the first place (the NFL admitted that the refs missed a blatant hold on NDonkeyKong Suh on a crucial fourth-down conversion from Tony Homo to Jason Quwitten with 6 minutes left in the previous week’s wild-card game with Detroit), (2) the NFL reviewed the Bryant drop after the game and declared it the correct call, and (3) the Packers were moving the ball and scoring at will against the Cowgirls in the 4th Q and there was plenty of time left in the game for Green Bay to easily score. In the Jone’s era Dallas has a hard time with understanding rules, class, dignity, character, and reality. #2) “Finally” GB 45 – CG 17 Nov 23rd, 1997 Home Cooking What a feeling! (Cue FlashDance Sound Track) Opening weekend of deer hunting and finally a home game against Dallas. After losing 8 straight games at Texas stadium, including the ’95 NFC Championship, the Packers finally get the hated Cowgirls in Lambeau and fun ensues. Dorsey Levens contributed 190 yards rushing as the Pack piled on 35 unanswered points. #1) “Ice Bowl” GB 21 – CG 17 Dec 31st, 1967 Lambeau Write this one down in your trivia book for several reasons. Yes the Pack beat the Girls on a Bart Starr QB sneak in what is widely thought of as the best game in NFL history (although the media in NYC still like to claim that the ’58 OT Championship where the Baltimore Colts prevailed 23-17 in OT was the “Greatest Game”, as this was the first nationally televised NFL game and considered the beginning of the modern sports era). Yes, this was the third NFL Championship in a row for the GBP (’65, ’66, ’67) and, yes, the Cowgirls were favored going into the game and, yes, they wanted revenge for the ’66 loss and, yes, the Pack went on to play Oakland in SB Dos. But let’s dig a little deeper on the trivia from the Ice Bowl:
Well, we've gone global. By now, most loyal readers of The Coach Clarahanson Show (that's you) know that Coach's cultural aptitude goes way past Mishcot, Trivers and Maniwoc to the farthest reaches of the globe (e.g. Coach speaks seven languages fluently, if you include Ebonics and authentic western gibberish)...but even Coach is a little surprised of the avid readership that has spread across multiple continents and hemispheres. Coach is excited to introduce y’all to a group of die-hard (and impressively knowledgeable about American football) Packer fans from Italy. They meet regularly in the Tuscany region (geez, look it up). Having been fortunate enough to have gone through there myself a few years ago, I highly recommend you plan a vacation to Tuscany - perhaps in pursuit of the famous 3T's in Bologna. But I digress... The group is seen here eating turkey Panini’s in celebration of our Thanksgiving. That's pretty cool, man. The most exciting thing Thursday evening was the half-time ceremony (coach was soaked thru to the skin and freezing). Honoring Brett was fun, but Bart Starr stole the show with what is surely his last ever appearance at Lambeau Field. An emotional time was had by all. After the game Brett intoned “I knew that old fart would show-up and try some of that same-old-[deleted] that he always pulls, he’s been trying to one-up me the entire [deleted] time that I was here. But that’s OK, I got Ziggy on my side”. The media crew was a bit puzzled at this comment, but Coach is pretty sure he knows what Brent was referring too: https://medium.com/sportspickle/vikings-induct-brett-favre-into-ring-of-honor-we-don-t-exactly-have-a-ton-of-better-options-3b834d8807cb#.pzqwvb8ua This is a pretty good documentary of the original Hillbilly Rockstar himself... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mso44cP9i04 Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme Coach can't figure out why we stopped running in the 3rd quarter. After halftime, our D got a nice and needed 3 and out, and then our O ran it consecutively down their throats until we got into scoring position. At that time, we completely abandoned the run and ultimately muffed-shotgunned our way out of FG range. Magic Mike's been preaching that wins start with establishing the run ... then, when we do it in dominating fashion, we abandon it? McCarthy was clearly outcoached by Fox, but I wasn't. This Coach was screaming for the proper adjustments against their WR screens and to cease our continued calls of the same -2 yard wide out pass that never works and always kills drives. I would have kept pounding the rock with 9 minutes left in the 4th Q because the Bears couldn't stop it and we were only down by 4. The abandonment of the run is what lost that game - not only did it stop our opening drive in the 3rd Q, it also later resulted in a pick. Fox won because he knew we couldn't resist passing. He let us run at will and knew it would frustrate the pass happy Packer coaching staff. Crazy, like a Fox. Maybe TJ Lang has some insight... “Everybody is taking their turn at screwing up, and it seems to come at the most crucial time, whether it’s missing blocks up front, the sacks, the drops, whatever it is,” Lang said. “We’re running out of time. We have to find a way to turn it around fast.” Coach is re-assured that no-one is panicking. Well we could wax on and on and on, ooh and ahh over the running game, complain about the play calling and give props to the D and Special Teams…..but at the end of the day 13 points is not enough and it’s tough to win when you don’t catch the ball. Davante Adams only caught two of the 11 passes thrown his way, dropped an almost certain touchdown and just couldn’t get into his route on the critical interception. Cobb – robbed, by the referees on the phantom pass interference call and James Jones dropping a potential game winner in the end zone. "I dropped it," Jones said. "No excuses." Total, total offensive ineptitude, so what did Coach Mike McCarthy have to say after losing a second straight division games at home and four of the last five? “We're not getting it done in the classroom, we have to demand more as coaches, we have to make changes. We'll look hard at it. We're not going to overreact to it. There's a pattern here for some reason and we need to adjust and change it and emphasize whatever we need to do to play better." Oh, OK. Glad to hear it, I feel better now that the problems have been fully diagnosed and vetted. Coach of course wanted a bit more detail, so he snuck into the Packer offices and secretly snapped this photo of MM diagnosing the problem with the team. After he fixed the Defense front-tire and put the Special Teams chain back on the bike he expected it to work OK. We expect that very soon he will uncover the need for the offense to work at the same time….just saying. Perhaps reading the Green Bay Press-Gazette will help on the fact-finding mission. WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like Any one of a few pass plays as mentioned above could have changed the game, but is that the cause of the loss? No! Anyone that knows anything about our beloved Packers realizes that the real offensive problem is that AR is not throwing to Jeff Janis. Yeah, WTF? Everyone knows that. But "Why, why..." you ask, "...won’t AR throw to Janis 'the-Answer' at wide receiver?" It's likely 1 of 3 reasons... 1. Janis is not smart. There has been much speculation that Jeff has struggled with the playbook, but this is a falsehood. He’s clearly a pretty smart guy, as seen here shortly after graduating from 8th grade. Rumors that his Wonderlic score fell somewhere between a macaque and a rhesus have been strenuously protested, particularly by The Leakey Foundation who have characterized the comparison as unfair and a besmirching of primates everywhere. See also, Javon Walker. 2. He doesn’t practice well. We know that this is flatly not true; here is actual film footage of his excellent practice performance. http://lombardiave.com/2015/11/30/jeff-janis-film-not-flattering-for-the-most-wanted-wr/ 3. Coach knows the cause. Coach now has definitive proof that an emotional rift has developed between Mr. A. Rodgers and Mr. J. Janis. The rumored relationship between JJ and well known Newsnight Financial Correspondent Sloan Sabbith has now evolved into a love-triangle including the famous QB from GB. Ms. Sabbith and Mr. Rodgers have been seen together several times for "charity events" and recently she confessed to Jeff a predilection for “1st Round Draft Picks”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQJInWecDW4. Poor Jeff, a 7th round pick, is extremely jealous and apparently on the way out with Sloan. Rodgers says "The guy is creepy, man. He's like giving me 'the eye' in the huddle. I can't even look at the guy any more." In crucial 3rd downs (e.g. 3rd and long), Aaron has insisted to assistant offensive coordinator Edgar "Mudder" Bennett that Jeff not be allowed in the huddle because "It's distracting to me and the other fellas, dangit. Plus, I think he put Icy-Hot in my jock strap once." We'll have to count how many 3rd downs, if any, Jeff gets included in Thursday night. Until this seething mess can be cleaned, the Packer’s offense will continue to struggle. Aaron’s erstwhile girlfriend, Oliva Munn, has been mum on the topic. The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof We lost to the Bears at home. Not a typo. "Well, did the ref's throw the game or something?" you ask. Yes, of course they did. Multiple times on phantom PI calls against us, and no calls against them. The worst, most blatant obstruction of the game was a defensive offsides when refs needlessly blew the whistle to stop the play AFTER Rodgers threw the ball to hit a wide-open Randall Cobb deep for an easy 6 points to take the lead (and would've been the game winning score). The fact is, the NFL has so much cover in for Papa Bear Halas that money whores like Goodell are committed to make sure that the Bears all-time record versus the Packers never gets to a tie (the Bears led by 1 game going into Thursday night). More proof: the NFL recognizes the Bears as the oldest (and, thereby, most prestigious?) franchise, even though the Packers were founded a year prior to them. The Packers were "penalized" 2 years by a complaint that Halas submitted (along with a big fat check) to the NFL commissioner. Typical FIB. On paper the Bears won that game, but they are still behind the Packers in the standings, so clearly the Bears still suck. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground Why can't men from Wisconsin date women from Minnesota? The real Badgers were unveiled for the first time of the year on Saturday in Minneapolis. Carrying home the Paul Bunyan Axe for the 12th year in a row, Bucky looked like he might be getting back to normal. POUND, POUND, POUND. Play solid D and just plain kick ass. Pass occasionally. Too bad it took until this week to do that or we’d be looking at 11-1 and a trip to INDY (again). In any case, a few adjustments were made on the OL and Clement was out again due to a couple arrests this week. Beau Benzschwael moved to tackle and Maxwell took his place which seems to have opened the flood gates for Ogunbowale to ramble 155 yards. We can look forward to the Benzschwael and Ogunbowale for 2016 and hopefully some other hard to pronounce combos. The Goofs lived up to their name with five turn overs to fuel the Badgers. Before we get too full of ourselves, Minnesota still leads this series 59-58-8 in a rivalry that goes back to 1890 (the longest-of-standing-rivalries-in-NCAA-history, which is eerily similar to the close record between the Packers / Bears - the oldest NFL rivalry. WISCONSIN IS FOOTBALL AWESOMENESS!!!) The only year we did not play each other was 1906 when President Teddy Roosevelt banned all rivalry college football games due to too much violence and injuries. For a tough guy president, that was a real douche bag move. The game resumed in 1907. Looking ahead, the Bowl picture does not look pretty due to the SNAFU against Northwestern. It looks like we will be watching the Badgers play in San Diego at the Holiday Bowl. With some luck, something strange will happen and we move up a notch to repeat the trip to Central Florida. Note how Northwestern got the WI game handed to them, won their last game vs. IL and is now ranked 13th. We should be getting the 13 ranking. By the way, this year the playoff is sort of shaking out as it should with 4 x conference champs making the final four. In a perfect world, we could shrink the conferences to 4 x 16 teams each and the conference championships would determine who goes to the playoff. This would be a de facto 8 team playoff counting the conference championships as the first round. This way, there would be no polls and no panels voting on style points to determine who is in the playoffs. Another option could be to have an 8 team playoff by taking the four conference championship winners and pick the others at large to account for weak divisions such as the Big Ten West this year or the SEC East every year. More on this superior college football playoff system in future columns, as the Badger Underground brings it up every freakin time Bucky gets screwed out of a bowl game we probably don't belong in to begin with. Ever see a gopher hole after a Badger's been through it? We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Is it still the Silverdome? Yes? Then we're gonna win. Why? Math: in this case set theory and the law of averages. And after all, it IS the Lions we're talking about. We don't hate them like the Bears. In fact, we sorta feel sorry for them. But not sorry enough to lose to them twice in one year. Shoot, some years we beat them 3 times! Good times, good times. No tight series win total as with the Bears. The Packers have dominated this series for ever and Coach thinks he is not going out on a limb by safely predicting a 14 point win against the Portsmouth Spartans (a.k.a. Detroit Lions). This Thursday will be a litmus test for the rest of the season, if the team shows up prepared and pissed-off they will cruise comfortably to big win. Win or lose, Coach will dissect the first 12 games next week and start to analyze our prospects for the Post-Season, cue Jim Mora… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7fjDS0jKiE By the way, if you took the Village People's advice and joined the Navy, then you'd know that Portsmouth is a nice place to slip your dinghy in and out of, especially if your on your way to Bangor. Yes, Michigan. JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them
Let’s turn the clock back to one of Green Bay’s earliest signal callers, #16 Joseph "Red" Dunn (catchy horse nickname, eh?). During his five years with the Packers the team went 47-11-6 and won three straight titles. But what a player! He caught 50 passes and completed 275 more for 4,641 and 48 touchdowns, and he kicked two field goals and 48 extra points. These were fantastic numbers for the time, and Dunn could be considered the Packers first true QB (even though the position wasn’t really recognized at that time). Dunn joined the Packers in 1927 with his friend and Marquette University teammate Lavvie Dilweg (yes, ancestor of below-average QB from 1989-90, Anthony Dilweg). The pair was widely seen as offensive innovators and they led the team to NFL Championships in 1929, 1930 and 1931. In both ’30 and ’31 the outcome of the last game of the year vs. the Portsmouth Spartans was a key factor winning the Championships, which is likely to be the case again this year as our game this week vs. the Spartans will likely figure in post-season seeding. Coach loves all these names. Interestingly one of the Spartans best players was “Father” Roy Lumpkin (no relation to below-average RB from 2008, Kregg Lumpkin). “Father Roy” pulled down $6000, an astronomical figure for the time (see also, Matthew Stafford rookie salary) and in the league of players like "Red" Grange, Dill Classgow, Bronko Nagurski, Crist Cagle, Joe Savoldi. Lumpkin joined the Spartans after leaving Georgia Tech where he was known as the "Rambling Wreck from Georgia Tech." |
Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
Categories |