Apparently Mike McCarthy has a bullet proof contract because for some reason he is still employed as head coach of the Packers. It’s good to be the king. (Click on Link) Of the 16 teams in the NFC (6 of which make the playoffs), the Packers are in 14th place (but light years ahead of the Bears and 49ers). Create a seam here - X' & O's about the game or a scheme How Do You Respond When The Pack Loses? Coach points out, in a semi-serious moment here, that most fans of most teams say “we” won and “they” lost; but not real Packer fans. Real Packer fans say “we lost” or “we got our asses handed to us by the Skins” or “I can’t believe we f’ng lost to Indy.” If you are socially inept and insecure, find another team to follow. True Packer fans stay loyal to the team, even when they are calling for a complete house cleaning of the management and coaching staff. Coach will get to some specifics in a minute, but all you need to know about how messed up the world is right now is that the Lions are ranked No. 8 in most power rankings and the Pack is No. 22. The old question was "If you're down by 4 late in the 4th quarter, who do you want your QB to be?" and the Montana, Elway, Favre debate would ensure. If the question we're manipulated slightly to become "If you're down by 4 late in the 4th quarter, which defense would you want to be facing?" the debate would quickly end with “the Packers.” Coach isn’t telling you anything you don’t already know here. “But Coach, what can I do?” That is a great question, Johnny. Coach conferred with a respected colleague in the mental health field to generate a small list of practical things you can do to alleviate the pain. My colleague, let’s call him “Lance” has liberally dispensed medicinal ethanol in many forms for over 30 years and has a PhD in Doctorology awarded by the NFL School of Perfunctory. To help you better understand a few practical tings yoo kin doo, “Lance” has summarized for us: Ok, so here’s why we lost to the Foreskins: 1) Offense: Aaron Rodger is not OK, he is not fixed, the offense is not humming. Normally you’d say that if AR went 26 of 41 for 351 yards, 3 TD’s, no picks and a 115 QB rating we were OK. But consider this:
But Coach, we’ve had a lot of injuries. It’s no fair!! True, Jimmy, we have had a lot of injuries, and many of them have accumulated at key positions. But life isn't fair (and work is less fair), and the truth is that the number of injuries we have had is simply what the average NFL team has experienced. A couple of things that Coach sees in the numbers…
WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like With the Wisconsin gun deer hunting season kicking off this past weekend, and in conjunction with some record warm temperatures, a group of Friendly Illinois Brethren thought they'd cross the border to give deer hunting a try. Their strategy was to "wolfpack" circling around a herd of deer in order to isolate the weakest animal for the taking. Illinoise hunter, Barry Dingle, is recorded here on video trying to intimidate a fawn. (Click on Link) In contrast, ½ of Coach Clarahanson was able to elude the balls and chains this weekend and get to deer camp! Too many baldies and not enough racks to shoot at opening weekend, but it was still fun, though (as always). Here’s some footage of this year’s hunt. (Click on Link) You’re welcome. You likely have heard about the father of Packers MLB Joe Thomas playing for South Carolina State’s football team this past weekend… Not to be outdone, ¼ of Coach Clarahanson (the oldest fraction) was in on the action Saturday for St. Norbert in their 35-7 win over Macalester College. After realizing he had eligibility left, and because he is taking the BS538 Advanced Statistics and Data Analysis course at the school, he decided to walk on for one game. He was picture perfect in holding for 5 extra points. Reached for an interview after the game he had this to say: "It was an exhilarating experience. Fire Capers." As his fame in the Green Bay metropolis spreads, he is also reportedly being sought as a spokesman for several popular area businesses as "the most interesting man in northeastern Wisconsin." The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! unofficially contacted the marketing departments for Shopko, Fleet Farm, Kwik Trip and Kroll's to confirm that they are all indeed putting together lucrative campaigns built around our hero. Well done, Señor Senior! BTW, in case you’re wondering what the remaining ¼ of Coach Clarahanson was up to this past weekend, he was patiently watching out for big racks, too (in Miami Beach). Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof And you thought YOU had it bad…the Bears are really bad. They lost – AGAIN. Now sporting a saucy 2-8 record, the midgets of the midway will undoubtedly garner a top 3 pick in 2017 and squander it on a media-overrated player that will likely suffer a rookie-season-ending injury followed by an underwhelming Year 2. See also, every Bears high draft pick. Ironically, the Bears and the Packers have a 2-1 record in the NFC North Division; whereas the division-leading Lions and Vikings (6-4 each) have only a 1-2 division record. That’s weird. Anyways, the Bears still suck. Just ask Josh Sitton. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground The Badgers battled strong winds and a raucous crowd of 30,000 patrons (about half of which were Badger fans) to post a 49 to 10 drubbing of the Purdon't Beer and Whiskey's. Things went about as predicted, including the end score exactly matching the Las Vegas point spread. The offense was good enough and the D as awesome, especially in the second quarter. We had 220 yards rushing and a bit less than that passing. Houston seems to be emerging as the best QB. Watt had a studly pick 6. Purdue is a bad team and we did what you need to against lesser competition, save for giving up 20 points. Minnesota will not be so easy. If we keep the drops and turnovers to a minimum, and don’t have more defenders or O-linemen hauled off on a stretcher, we should be fine. Although… Saturday’s game saw yet another instance of Jazz Peavy not even attempting to catch a very catchable ball. One in particular was a third down pass at knee level during the first half against Purdue. No effort was made to catch the ball, second only to the 3rd down pass during the first half of the MI game which hit him in the sternum with his hands at his waste. Every game this season includes one instance of him either not attempting to catch a ball in his wheelhouse or dropping a ball that hits him in the hands. That’s gotta stop in the next 3 games. With Louisville getting their asses kicked, Bucky moved to a #6 ranking (the committee mixed up their W's this week). After the upcoming highly expected floor wiping with the Goofs, Bucky would then move on to Indy. We would also back into the championship with a loss should the Cornholers lay an egg at Iowa (an entirely plausible scenario). We all hope Michigan Weasels beats the Ohio State. This would set up an indisputable playoff berth to the winner in Indy, whom we hope will be the Badgers. The loser in Indy logically would go to the Rose Bowl which is a very decent consolation prize. But, what if tOSU beats the Rodents and PSU beats MSU this weekend? Then, we play PSU in Indy. Yes, Michigan SHOULD fall to a lower ranking than the Badgers since their losses would be inferior to ours. Winning in Indy still should take us to the playoff. Losing may land us in the Crapital One Bowl, since the BS bowl selectors may favor the Buckeyes. We may of course land a berth in some other big bowl like the Sugar or Orange Bowl. The horror of horrors would be to select Michigan or OSU over the winner in Indy as a playoff team. There would be holy hell to pay for that. But first things first: Minnie is another one of those scary teams. They are bowl bound and their 3 losses have been by a combined total of 17 points. In short, they are no slouches. The matchup problem for WI is that the Golden Rodents are tied with MI for second in the conference in sacks. They do it with four linemen rushing and very little blitzing. WI has yet to show that they can pass block consistently for four quarters. If Badger Underground had ten dollars for every time Hornibrook has dropped back to pass on 3rd down and been sacked this season… Though WI is favored by 14 points, this one has been circled on our calendar since the closing seconds of the Northwestern win. MN has had this game circled on their calendar since the Spring scrimmage practices. They are highly motivated to win back Paul Bunyan’s axe (the chopping tool, not the deodorant). Speaking of Northwestern, MN sacked their QB 7 times Saturday. Sacks and pass rush often lead to fumbles and interceptions, which cause upsets. WI has not found themselves trailing by more than 7 points this season, which is incredible. Keeping that pattern intact Saturday is essential as we don’t want to find ourselves having to pass our way out of a deficit with such a porous OL and two below average QB’s running the offense. We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Mathematically, we still have a reasonable chance of winning the division (Click on Link). We pretty much have to run the table, but stranger things have happened. And now we’ve got an added weapon! The Packers are hanging their playoff berth hopes on a more powerful offense with newly acquired Running Back, Christian Mingle. Let’s hope he lasts more than the average Packers RB contract lifetime of 2 games. So it’s on to Philly. Since our coaching and gameday talent is remarkably substandard, let’s reflect on the history of the 2 teams to see if we can glean some optimism for the outcome of Monday night’s matchup: - We got Reggie from them (advantage Packers) - We got Al Harris from them (before you say “push” recall that Hairass was called “Toast” by the punk fans of Philadelphia because he sucked so bad there, and then he actually was halfway decent in GB so – advantage Packers) - We dumped Allen Barbre on them (This should be good for us right? …advantage Packers) - We sent Cullen Jenkins there (we probably got rid of him at the right time, but could have used him 1 more year – push) - Ray Rhodes left there and came here (advantage Eagles) - Doug Pederson looks like a good game management coach, AND when he left town he took his entertaining and shrewd 3rd string QB radio show with him (double advantage Eagles) Add that all up and it looks too close to call. Moreover, there is no help from statistical or logical reasoning that suggests we will beat Philadelphia on Monday night: - They have had almost no injuries this year - They have a superior defense - They have a “rookie phenom” in QB Carson Wentz - They converted 4th & 26 - They beat the Lombardi led Packers 17-13 in the 1960 NFC Championship Game - They have Brett Favre’s deer hunting buddy as head coach - They had Chuck Bednarik (Click on Link), the last true “two-way player” (not that there's anything wrong with that), who called Deion Sanders a wimp for thinking he was a two-way player. No, no sane logical person or bettor would pick the Pack this coming Monday night…. Coach is not logical…in a pick from the heart… Packers 18 Eagles 16 …which will make getting rid of the MTM-Legume staff even more difficult! What’s that you say, Timmy, you’d like to hear more about this Chuck Bednarik guy? Well, ok then, maybe we'll divert slightly from our regularly scheduled bandwagon for this week's edition of JB… JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them If you clicked on the Chuck Bednarik link above (as I instructed you to), the photo above makes a lot more sense and shows Bednarik standing over NYG’s receiver Frank Gifford (a.k.a. the guy that slept with menopause-aged women in New York City hotel rooms while he was married to Kathy Lee Gifford of the LIVE! with Regis and Kathy Lee talkshow and Name That Tune gameshow fame) after Bednarik knocked out Gifford at Yankee Stadium late in the 1960 season. Gifford was out the remainder of 1960 and all of the 1961 Season. At that time this was known as “football.” Today it is known as “violence” (see also, aroma therapy and coloring books for college students too upset about the election results to attend their classes). Coach enjoys watching "football." In later years Deon Sanders would claim to be a two-way player like Bednarik. Coach assures you…self-proclaimed “Prime Time” WAS a wimp compared to Bednarik. He really was the last of a breed. For 58 1/2 minutes in the NFL's 1960 championship game, he held his ground in the middle of Philly's Franklin Field, a force of nature determined to postpone the christening of the Green Bay Packers dynasty. “I didn't run down on kickoffs, that's all” Bednarik said. The rest of that frosty December 26 day, on both offense and defense, he played with a passion that crested when he wrestled Packer-great fullback Jim Taylor to the ground one last time and held him there until the final gun sealed the Eagles 17-13 victory. (BTW, it seems like we always lose to Philly when we can’t hold them under 17 points -- see also, 4th and 26). Today, Chuck’s hold-down move would have led to a 5-yd penalty for delay of game and about 15 minutes of replays. As a Packer Fan, Coach is incensed that “cheating” by Concrete Chuck prevented Lombardi from winning his first Championship as a Packer. That said, Coach is also a football fan, and puts it on Taylor’s teammates for not punching him off the pile. That was the last playoff game Vince Lombardi EVER lost. Now run along, little Timmy.
0 Comments
Time to rub the Skins! Create a seam here - X' & O's about the game or a scheme Quick --- who was the QB the last time the Packers were down 21-0 at the end of the first quarter? If you answered Randy Wrong, you are Wright… The last time the Packers were this inept was under the guidance of Forrest Gregg, wrapping up a stellar 4-12 season at the Meadowlands. The game against the Giants was just a killer, as the Packers were totally destroyed by the eventual Super Bowl winning Giants. (Don't expect the Colts or Titans to be battling for the AFC Championship this year, though. Now for a deep, deep bonus question, name the Packers Running Backs/Special Teams Coach who flipped off Bill Parcels when the Giants lined up to kick a field goal in the waning moments of the game with the Giants up 52-24? If you answered “Paris Hilton” you get 5 points out of ten. Good ole’ John’s bird was pretty consistent with the timber of that Forrest led team, but none-the-less they made an example out of him and let him go. Frankly, Coach thinks we need to get Hilton back to kick some ass on this team. What did the ’86 Packers have in common with the ‘16 Packers? Talent? NO! Those 80’s teams were absolutely loaded, filled and stocked with bad talent, we’ve had a couple of injuries, but the 2016 team is still among the most talented teams in the league. Coaching and organization? Bingo, you perceptive reader you. Much as today, the team was in complete disarray. Just think about this for 11 seconds………………well OK, 7 seconds, the 2016 Packers were among 2 or 3 preseason favorites to win the Super Bowl, now they have us all running for the toilet bowl. Sunday's game could not have opened more favorably for us; Joe Thomas recovers the opening on-side kick at mid-filed only to have A-Rod fire the ball into the dirt behind Cobb on 3rd & 4. Follow that up with Goodson sliding into the end zone with the ensuing punt and we completely wasted our first opportunity of the game. The run D will save us right? What a friggin’ joke. One play and a 75 yard run to the end-zone later and the blowout is on. It’s hard to believe that a professional football team in their 9th game can be in such disarray. The sequence of pictures below show just how badly the entire team was faked out on that first run (to be fair if you watch the film live it’s clear that Datone Jones was not fooled at all, he came across the entire formation and almost made the tackle). This total team implosion is so complete that it’s hard to imagine…so Coach did a little bit of digging and has found strong evidence that McCarthy & Rodgers are intentionally tanking the season to move higher in the 2017 draft. When confronted with this evidence, Rodgers barked: “I think it’s ridiculous, I think people don’t understand how difficult it is to get draft picks in this league and get them consistently. The success that we’ve had here in drafting, it’s tough to do. We’ve set the standard pretty high. But I wouldn’t listen to some of those people out there. I mean they’re not in this locker room, they’re not in the meeting rooms, they don’t see the draft boards. They don’t know what’s going on, they don’t know the type of work ethic that we have here and that Mike has here. Especially guys like Mike Florio. Don’t waste your time reading crap like that.” When asked who he liked in the draft, Coach McMumbles mumbled, "I’d really like to get rid of all of our current receivers, accept for Richard Rodgers who is slow, can’t block and drops passes at key moments. Then Ted would probably give me enough money to sign Damore’ea Stringfellow from Ole’ Miss." (Click on Link) WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like It's starting already... McCarthy’s self-scouting is the biggest WTF in the long, sad history of WTF’s. When asked about his blatant inability to get the team to execute successfully this year, his response was “I’m one of the most successful coaches in the NFL.” Yeah, like 6 years ago. The last 2 years you’ve been one of the least successful coaches in the NFL (9-12 in the last 21 games, including games at Lambeau). It’s like the former British Prime Minister, Margret Thatcher, once said: “Being a leader is like being a lady; if you have to tell people you are one, you aren’t.” Some say the reason NFL TV ratings are down is because the Packers are down. Others blame Colin Kaepernick for his kneeling shenanigans during the National Anthem. Green Bay Packers like Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb don’t kneel in protest during the National Anthem, they hold the flag. Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Things look bad. We are 4-5. That is uncharted territory for Millennials. The natives (bad timing?) are restless, calling for the firings of the head coach and GM. Do the Packers suck? Well, they ARE in jeopardy of missing the playoffs. However, let’s face it – they are nowhere near “suck” region when you consider that the Bears are the gold standard for sucking. After all, the Bears are 2-7. THAT sucks. “But Coach, last year at this point in the season, the Bears were 4-5, just like the Packers are now….” Well, …shut up. Chicago’s best player, Alshon Jeffry, got served a 4-game suspension this week for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. He should be back just in time for the Packers matchup v. Bears later in the season. For us, that would be like losing Mason Crosby until December 18. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground A second consecutive break in an otherwise brutal schedule awaits the Badgers Saturday at Purdue. This game carries the interest level of week 4 in the NFL preseason, though Badger Underground staff is curious to see whether the brunette beauty heading last year’s sideline refreshment staff has any eligibility remaining. 30-40 mph winds will limit the passing ability of both teams, turning this game into a grinder. WI grinds with the best. Purdue’s defense in it’s current state is comparable to what we have seen the last two Sundays from the Green Bay Packers. Wisconsin should exceed 300 yards rushing. Don’t expect anything from the passing game, which is sorely in need of improvement. Similarly, Wisconsin’s defense should again dominate. Same recipe as last week. Rack up stats in the first half, then get reserves in the game during the second half. We don’t want to see Corey Clement again running late into the third quarter taking hits trying to surpass the 100 yard threshold. That would be an unnecessary risk, as Bucky should easily derail the Boilermakers. Saturday will be a day best suited for setting the DVR and hitting the woods for opening day of WI’s gun deer season. With a bit of luck, you may tag out before kickoff. While sitting in your tree stand counting squirrels, it is appropriate to think of and look ahead to the Gophers game next Saturday. We will resist the temptation to get into playoff scenarios for the Badgers, beyond saying that it will most likely be Wisconsin playing Penn State in Indy with the winner being the 5th ranked playoff team, behind 2 Big Ten teams that didn't make it to the conference championship game. Two years ago, WI came out of their game with the Goophs physically beat up, which set the stage for a blowout loss to tOhio State with a backup QB. MN’s defense is very physical and could give WI problems. WI would fall several rungs in the bowl pecking order with a loss. But more on that next week. Good luck in the woods. We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Well, as I’m sure you’ve all heard about already, Ted FINALLY listened to Coach and got rid of McCarthy late this week! Quite the announcement, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. At the press announcement of Harbaugh's hiring late this week, Packers GM Ted Thompson said "I had to drain the swamp. We never win anymore. So that’s why I brought in Jim. He has a tremendous amount of experience. And having played for the Bears, he knows a LOT about Chicago. Problems from Chicago are coming across the border, and they're causing tremendous problems here. They're bringing in drugs, some of them are rapists. I suppose some of them are good people, I don't know maybe? Jim will bomb the shit out of them. Jim Harbaugh knows more about FIB’s than the generals do... believe me." Approaching the podium, Harbaugh politely nodded in thanks to Ted for the kind words and new hat, and went on to say, “Make no mistake: THIS is my dream job. I always wanted to be head coach of the Green Bay Packers. Of course, there’s the tradition, but also… My parents live in Milwaukee, so I’ve got a strong connection here. When I didn’t get an offer from Madison to play college football, I was forced to play quarterback at Michigan and that gave me an opportunity to show the Badger State how good of a player I really was. When Mike got named head coach of Green Bay in 2006 of course I was disappointed, but I turned that into motivation and beat the Packers every time we played them when I was head coach in San Francisco – for me, I wasn’t tried to hurt the Packers … I was in essence applying for the head coaching job in Green Bay! My hard work and consistent results have ultimately provided me this opportunity. Like every other team I have coached, I expect to be playing for the championship in year 2. This won’t take long, the talent is already here and all this team really needs is a swift kick in the ass with the most basic of coaching … no offense to Mike, of course [eyes rolling]. And finally, I gotta give a shout out to Coach Clarahanson for all the support and encouragement over the past couple of years ... [clenching fists in front of his chin] WE DID IT!" Upon his firing, Mike McCarthy could not be reached for comment but told reporters that he intends to sue the Packers organization for wrongful dismissal per the terms of his contract, and he has hired renowned attorney, Bob Loblaw, (Click on Link) to file an injunction against the team. Good luck with that, dipshit. Although the Wildcard rematch game in DC was slated for a Sunday evening affair, NBC opted to flex out of their scheduling commitment to the Packers and Redskins, citing their arrangement with Chris Collinsworth that enables him to request alternative games if there is a greater-than-70% likelihood he will have to say “Rodgers has no one to throw to” more than 15 times in the upcoming game. Having a noon game sets up better for the Pack, as they have an abysmal 2-9 record in their previous prime time games. Hey, if you gotta grasp for straws, you gotta grasp for straws. Time to pay the bills… A special “Thanks!” goes out to this week's sponsor, syndicated episodes of That 70s Show on the CW. You remember the 70's, right? When having 4 wins by Thanksgiving was considered respectable, and enough to sell out Lambeau field with a 49% chance of winning games there. Of course, a ticket was $7 back then, not $127 like they are today. So, if you can't stomach watching any more of a game that has the Packers getting blown out by 21-points in the 1st quarter, change the channel over to the CW and watch That 70's Show. Coach recommends focus on Mila Kunis ... giggity giggity goo! JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them Ask any Wisconsin (or Cincinnati) tavern patron "Who did Brett Favre throw his 1st NFL touchdown pass to?" and they will quickly respond, "Kitrick Taylor!" That's an easy one, although no one anywhere else would probably know that (except for maybe folks in Kiln, Mississippi). But did you know that Taylor was actually the 2nd "Kit" to play for the Green and Gold? Kit Lathrop played his college ball as an Arizona State Sun Devil and then was nabbed (undrafted) in 1979 by the Denver Broncos, who then quickly released him. Of course, the Packers immediately scooped up this talentless dolt and gave the defensive lineman jersey #72. In Lathrop’s forgettable 1979-1980 stint with the Packers, he was largely an afterthought who failed to take up spots in post-game recaps or box scores while backing up players likes Earl Edwards, Terry Jones and Charles Johnson, which ultimately earned him the dubious media distinction of being ranked as the 10th worst Packer of all time. In his 2 seasons with the team, the Packers went 5-11 and 5-10-1 (5th place in the NFC Central Division). However, after being out of football the following 2 years, the upstart USFL had a lame team in Chicago named the Blitz that called him up. The following year he went to the USFL’s Arizona Wranglers, and the year after that the Arizona Outlaws, and then back to the NFL for the KC Chiefs, and lastly with the Redskins – and that team that won the Super Bowl in 1987! Good timing for a shitty player. Today, Kit Lathrop is a D-line coach for the Toronto Argonauts of the Canadian Football league (yippy!). But I know what you’re thinking… “Coach, WTF kind of name is Kit?” Good question, young lad. At the time, it was probably only the COOLEST name ever for a guy! So cool, in fact, that it inspired a whole TV series called Knight Rider starring the devilishly handsome David Hasselhoff (he, of later Baywatch and Dodgeball fame). (Oh, you GOTTA click on those links!) In Knight Rider, Michael Knight (Hasselhoff) is a man on a mission. Reborn, so to speak, after getting shot in the face, he decides to dedicate his life to fighting for justice. Knight is the lead field agent in a justice crusading organization (seems plausible so far, right?), part of which includes the development of “KITT” (Knight Industries Two Thousand), a super-powered, intelligent souped-up Pontiac Trans-Am. The KITT car can drive 300 miles an hour, is bulletproof, fireproof, can talk, and helps Michael fight injustices in the world. That show rocked, man. Anyways, Kit Lathrop was awful. See ya.
Shhhhhhh... I'm texting this from my tree stand. Just passed on a small fork and a decent sixer. Milwaukee fans rolled into town last Sunday to watch the Packers buck the Colts... …but certainly got screwed out of their money's worth. Earlier in the season ARod was calling the 10-day gap between the ATL game and the Colts their "mini bye." It appears they took a full 2 weeks off. ...possibly the past 2 years off. GB's record is 9-11 in last 20 games! Not exactly reflective of a team that is ascending, and fully indicative of a coaching swamp that needs draining. McCarthy tossed out a lack of "energy" as an excuse. (I know, that should be in the WTF section.) Later he tried to walk it back. …is he running for office? He has turned into such a tool. For reference, Bill Belichick's Patriots team lost a max of 5 games in a regular season, once, and that was when Brady got knocked out for the season in game 1 (they went 11-5 and missed the playoffs with Matt Cassel). The Pats always look ready, willing and able to take on their competition. That's because they are coached to know how to deal with each situation at hand. In contrast, what does McCarthy do? Well, you know what MM looks like out there. (Click on Link). So it’s on to the Titans... Create a seam here - X' & O's about the game or a scheme Playoffs? Stats? Fergit that *&^% (stuff). What an embarrassment. This team is going nowhere besides a Top 10 pick in the 2017 draft unless there is a major turn-around. 4-wins/5-losses in the last 9 games at Lambeau, are you f’ng kidding me? This was a preseason Super Bowl favorite? This was a team in 2nd place in the Division, a team that knew the Vikings lost earlier in the day, a team that knew a win would put them in 1st place? Yes. Here’s the main summary you need to know from the Colts game: Special Teams: One kick-off return for a touchdown, another for 60+ yards to Jordan Todman a journeyman running back with 472 career yards over 6 seasons with 4 teams. Throw in a missed FG and you have a net -13 points. Defense: Give up a 94-yard TD to end the 1st half (see also Packers vs. Cowboys), give up two first downs to enable the Colts to run out the clock at the end of the game, plus 60 yards rushing and 2 TD’s for Frank Gore? Si. Offense: Everybody slacking off and not trying except Aaron Rodgers? Of course! He even said so. They asked him at the post-game press conference and that's what he said (Click on Link). He’s bringing intensity and no one else on the team is… A little quiz for faithful followers of The Show!!! -- when all three units on a team underperform, the team is listless and uninspired and they get blown out, the cause is usually (circle all that apply with a No.2 pencil):
So let’s do a little detective work to see if we can diagnose what the hell is going on out there… …The Defense has had one really good year under Capers/McCarthy since 2009…in 2010 we finished the year ranked #2 in points allowed, and by the way, we won the Super Bowl. Every other year we’ve had major playoff losses with major defensive let downs. Does that suck? Yes, but not a new problem this year (fire Capers). BTW, wherever Capers has gone and instituted the “3-4” defense, it has been successful in one year … the 2nd year. That’s a fact, Jack, but I haven’t crunched the data to explain exactly why, yet. So stay tuned for that. …The Packers’ Special Teams have generally been at the bottom of the annual Dallas Morning News Special Teams rankings since McCarthy has been around. Zook seems to have moved the needle in the right direction, but between punters choking and big returns this year, it seems like a return to normal (granted Crosby has been money for most of his career and Schum-shot has been a pearl the last two weeks). …The Offense has been the Packers’ ticket to success. But the wheels are off. Much like in 2013 when AR went down and the whole team folded, it would seem that our boys in Green & Gold have no confidence that we will win. There were smoke signals before, like when Greg Jennings left and called out AR as being self-centered. But now we have the evidence that that the wheels are all the way off the wagon (speaking of "off the wagon" see also, Chester Marcol). By way of reminder folks, we have no running backs and the stated goal of the team is to use the “West Coast Offense” to offset that deficiency. The key element of the West Coast offense is to “take what the defense gives you.” Translation, take the short check-down throws to draw the LB’s and Safety’s up, much like they have to do for the run game. When they do creep up, then that opens the middle area of the field to take shots downfield. So let’s review the opening drive to see how we did. In the three shots below of the first play from scrimmage, you can see receivers wide open in the 5-12 yard area. Complete any of these and we’re extending the drive. Rodger’s had 5.3 seconds for this sequence and ended up throwing it away. At the end of that same opening drive we made it to 1st & goal on the 8, but backed up on a penalty. Take a look at all of the options in the photo’s below, Rodgers had plenty of time and plenty of receivers open but didn’t go to anyone except in the back of the end zone. Seven points? No, 3 from Crosby, what a wasted opportunity. So what is going on with Rodgers? Can’t be him, it’s gotta be McCarthery, right? Coach is genuinely flummoxed on this one. Did y’all notice that Randall Cobb had his helmet on, standing on the sideline near MM, ready to enter the game? When he did in the second half he was great. Asked about why Cobb didn’t play in the first half, MM said that he was injured and didn’t want to reinjure him. A reasonable response, but why TF was he in uniform if he was hurt? Cobb obviously was ready to go (and he looked great when he went in). On the other hand, when Rodgers was asked about why Cobb didn’t play in the first half he said he had no idea (see video link above). NO IDEA? Rodgers allegedly spends all week with McCarthy prepping a game plan. They talk the night before the game, they talk during pre-game (that period of time when Cobb was activated) and they talk during the game. Or do they?? How is it that the Head Coach/OC/Play Caller and the QB don’t talk about personnel available to play? On innumerable occasions McCarthy has talked about how valuable it is to be on the sidelines to communicate with players, coaches and particularly the QB!! Rodgers is running around and not throwing to open receivers and the Coach is letting him do it. Furthermore AR clearly has his middle finger raised high at Mike McCarthy saying I’m not gonna do what you say and I’m not listening to you. McCarthy is losing, or perhaps has lost, the team. Just like when AR went down in 2013, the whole team has lost confidence and likely in part because they see that AR is manipulating the Head Coach. McCarthy now has two choices:
WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like Walt Anderson, NFL referee in Monday Night's game, needs to retire. The Seattle v Buffalo game was referee'd horrendously. At the end of the first half, crucial referee mistakes occurred at Seattle in the Seahawks favor (again). The refs called "delay of game" on Buffalo pushing them back for a 55 yard field goal kick, but the referee was standing over the ball with only three seconds left on the play clock -- so it was impossible to get the play off on time. Not to mention Richard Sherman's blantant pass interference play in the end zone that was not called (sound familiar?). And then Dick Sherman intentionally plows into the Bills kicker after the field goal attempt and doesn't get the roughing call. WTF, man? Why does Seattle (and especially Richard Sherman) get so much referee favor? Back to loathing Mike McCarthy's head coaching abilities... Why TF did Eminem abandon the short passing offensive scheme that worked so well in ATL a week ago in lieu of a "throw it to Richard Rodgers" strategy against the Colts? I can't even believe I have to write that they thought they should rely on Richard "No YAC" Rodgers for the win. That's just crazy, right? WTF? Also, how about his bonehead "going for 2 with 9 minutes left when down by 15"? Get the 7 first, you idiot... You never know what's gonna happen as the 4th Q plays out. Coach's rule is never go for 2 with more than 6:30 left in the game (and ALWAYS go for 2 to win the game on the road in lieu of overtime). MM manages games like he can predict the future (e.g. "If I go for it on 4th and 2 late in the 3rd quarter instead of tying the game with a field goal here in Minnesota, we will get the 1st down and subsequently score a touchdown...ignoring that it never actually plays out as I hope. I'm sure I won't regret this decision. Oh, crap, we didn't get it -- now we're in quite a pickle ... Looks like another loss. I will tell the press that we will look at the film for players’ mistakes and get that corrected.") And how about those Lambeau groundskeepers?! Trying to outshine the clowns at the Hall-of-Fame Game who spray-painted the field to get the Colts-Packers preseason game canceled, the normally top-notch crew at Lambeau sprayed oil all over the field to “prevent dew.” It appears they forgot their 2nd grade physics lesson regarding relative humidty and temperature and only recalled that water doesn't mix with oil, and they definitely prevented good footing -- keeping the dew atop the slick blades of oily grass. The whole organization is starting to slip. Unless… did McCarthy tell them to do it??? Lastly, WTF? (Click on Link) Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Once in a while Coach is forced to listen to away games on the radio (e.g., driving the fandamily to mother-in-law's on a rainy day in order to bank hunting or fishing credit hours). Coach grew up listening to the masters of the mic for the Packers, Jim Irwin and Max McGee. Then as their age started slowing them down considerably, Larry McCarren nudged in for air time to help out and pay for his hand surgery bills. In the best-way-possible to go out, Jim and Max's final game broadcast was Brett Favre's Super Bowl XXXI victory in n'Awlins. I thought, “How will they replace legends like Jim and Max?” At the time, Wayne Larrivee was the play-by-play announcer for -- wait for it -- yep!...the Chicago Bears (as well as the Bulls, and even did some Cubs games). He and his agent lobbied the Packers Communications Manager vigorously to become the voice of the Green Bay Packers when Jim and Max retired and, as you know, has been that for the last 2 decades. But, being an indoctrinated FIB, he is disproportionately flawed. It’s clear he doesn’t understand which plays are important, or when, during a football game. Coach’s stomach turns after almost every offensive play when Wayne fails to indicate the yardage gained and/or whether or not a 1st down was achieved. He often overly emphasizes a 1 yard run up the back of linemen, while nonchalantly mentioning a 60 yard touchdown pass. He’s is probably a nice guy, but is just hard to follow. The best part though… Once in a while, you'll hear him accidentally say "You're listening to the Bears radio network" when he cuts to commercial. ...much less nowadays, but did so frequently his first few years with the Pack. Again, he’s a FIB, so it helps to maintain low expectations. Anyways, Bears, when you're so bad that the team announcer leaves you for the competition, and brings with him a catch phrase (“the Dagger”) that epically describes the unofficial point in which you lost games -- it's clear, you suck. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground With the Northwestern monkey off their back, Wisconsin goes into Saturday's game 20+ point favorites. IL comes in starting their third string QB, Jeff George jr, but they may be without their top WR. Any reason to worry? Trap game? IL took their turn beating MSU. They have very active pass rushers and WI has yet to prove that they can adequately pass block. IL has one good RB and three who have put up good YPC numbers. No reason for worry, unless we self-destruct with drops, picks or goal-line fumbles. IL has racked up their stats vs weak opponents. They give up a ton of yards, though, and much of it rushing. WI will come out running the ball down their throat. Easy passes will follow, not 3rd and long where Hornibrook incurs so many of his sacks. The Badger Underground medical staff recommends that TJ Watt be shut down for a coupla weeks. Save him for the MN game, only if needed. Yank Clement at halftime, after he has put up 150 yards. Shaw will run wild in the 2nd half. In unrelated but extremely relevant news, Coach recommends Bunyan Badger Brown Ale. Tastes like a creamier version of Newcastle, and it’s made right here in Wisconsin. Enjoy! A word of caution, though. It’s pretty strong, so beware of beer goggles. (You’re welcome.) We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game The formula here is very easy: Option 1: Get a local HS coach to come in for a week and apply HS level motivation (run laps, hamburger drill, live 11 on 11) and make the kick-off coverage team run in straight lines down the field. Option 2: Continue doing what we are doing, with the same techniques, delivered by the same coaches, to the same players in the same way and get the same results. We’ll all know by 15:30 CST what’s going on at 1265 Lombardi. In the meantime, Coach recommends relaxing and memorizing the stat’s of Jermaine Whitehead…he’s the dipwad and now ex-Packer (see also, Brandon Bostick) that lost contain on the opening kickoff and got blocked into Kyler Fackrell….opening up a hole that even you could have run through for a TD. That’s all I have to say about that. JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them No. 17 Craig Hentrich had a great career with the Packers, getting drafted out of Notre Dame by the Jets in 1993 and ending up with the Packers that season. He was a key member of the Mike Holmgren/Brett Favre/Reggie White Super Bowl XXXI Packers. However, after the 1997 season his Rookie contract was up and Ron Wolf refused to pay Hentrich, a punter, a mere punter, $1 million a year to play football. Hentrich left for greener bank accounts and signed with the Tennessee Oilers (then playing in Memphis), and played with them until he was injured during the 2009 season. Hentrich had a prolific career, kicking 49,281 punt yards and averaging 42.9 yards a kick for his career! Yes, that includes bad weather kicking in Green Bay. Hentrich was a pretty talented “athlete” overall. When pressed into extra point duty because Chris Jacke got hurt after getting busted for banging Holmgren’s daughter, Hentrich went 6 of 6 and he was 8 of 15 on field goals with a long of 49 yards. Eventually Wolf admitted that he should have paid Hentrich, as he would have definitely helped the Pack in SB32 and on through the early 2000’s when we frequently struggled with punting. One silver lining though, had Hentrich been around for the 1999 season, arguably the Pack would have won a game or two more and Ray Rhodes would have been the coach much longer (Rhodes was fired after the 8-8 season of 1999). So, in summary, Craig Hentrich, we think you were neato. But, hey, let’s be real here -- he was no David Beverly. Shhh... here comes a deer, I gotta go...
On the cusp of a Big Ten championship and eminent NCAA playoff berth, the #2 Michigan Wolverines football program was brought under indictment this week for “comprehensive recruiting violations” (I know, shocker), forcing a mandated immediate and indefinite suspension of their head coach, Jim Harbaugh, from all football-related activities at the university. Michigan Athletic Director, Early Agzit, called the charge "A bunch of malarkey..." and "...tough to prove, considering all the steps we've taken to avoid getting caught." Agzit then announced the immediate hiring of Les Miles, the recently fired head coach of LSU's football team and former assistant to legendary Michigan head coach Bo Schembechler. It is unclear at this time how many Wolverine players on the active roster will be declared ineligible for future games (a.k.a. Will be declaring for the 2017 NFL Draft). FBI Director, Jim Comey, could not be reached for comment, but his spokesperson, Mark Fuhrman, indicated to reporters that in Comey's view a rush to judgment is warranted. "In this particular case" Fuhrman said "the end justifies the means if Packers GM Ted Thompson takes this opportunity to replace Green Bay head coach, Mike McCarthy, with Harbaugh." ...and presumably post haste in order to get back into the playoff hunt. When asked how he would respond to a dismissal by Thompson, McCarthy said "What took you so long?" (Click on Link) Create a seam here - X' & O's about the game or a scheme Knile who? Don’t bother, he’s gone after showing Ted enough with 5 carries in two games. We don’t really have a running game, so stay tuned while we rummage around for guys working in pizzerias who have already demonstrated they have no ability when they played for other teams. OK, enough of the negativity! Aaron looked great! He threw four touchdowns to various receivers and all is OK, we beat the Falcons! (Well, a moral victory anyway.) Special Teams had a great return by Davis and our punter showed us some of his impressive Schum shots, so maybe we are finally getting to league average in that category. Giving credit where credit is due, A-Rod did look better than any other game for over a year and his stats were much better (Coach doesn’t believe in Fantasy Football so that part doesn’t matter). The mechanics were better, but he’s still throwing late and behind many receivers as you saw on the desperation drive at the end to try to win the game. He’s also locking in on his primary receiver far too often and not looking at other players. As you can see below, he had 3rd & 6 and doesn’t bother looking at a wide-open Jordy who could easily have gotten the first down. Instead he ran around, got sacked and we punted. We used to call these short passes “the West Coast Offense”…it drives coach nuts to see us (AR) simply refuse to take what the defense is giving us!! But the Defense looked much better -- didn’t it, Coach? Yes, Johnny, it looked very good when the offense ran a play that ran into what we called on D. But when the other team ran a play that the big Legume guessed incorrectly, we got gashed. Anyone out there annoyed by collapsing in big games? Leroy Butler's analysis (Click on Link) does a nice job of outlining why the last Atlanta TD was a classic combination of wrong defense with wrong personnel on the field. He doesn’t call out Capers by name, but he’s very clear he was not impressed with the Legume. WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like Weiner probe. Nuf sed. Coach’s next WTF goes to Cam Newton. Not for his complaint about an apparent “Shaquille O’Neal effect” (a double-standard for him failing to get the referee protection of defensive penalties when he takes a shot to the head) because he is a large quarterback (uh, then stop running the ball, Mongo); rather, it’s his choice of post-game attire that he likely stole off the set of The Mask. Once again James Jones' younger brother, Julio, found himself involved in a questionable pass interference play that likely affected the outcome of the game. Only this time interference WAS called on the defender, but Julio was the guilty party! Jones held former Miami Hurricane standout LaDarius "Larry" Gunter by the shoulder pads on a key 1st down play that prevented Gunter from getting an easy interception and resulted in a 24-yard advance for the Dirty Birds. Larry popped up with his hands spread out wide, like the banker character from the movie version of Stephan King's novel Shawshank Redemption -- after he crawls out of the state penitentiary via the raw sewage pipes into the pouring rain outside, and rightfully so! It was complete BS. That “drive” resulted in a 40-yard field goal for the Falcons which, in hind sight, was the difference in the game. It seems like the Packers are always the poster child for proving something is wrong about NFL refereeing that needs to be fixed immediately (see also, replacement refs in Seattle, Jerry Rice 4th quarter “non”fumble in 1998 playoffs in San Fran with replay suspended that year, etc.). Now we are getting screwed again – this time in order to prove to lazy football patrons that pass interference needs to be reviewable. Julio Jones highlighted the issue when he got mauled by Dick Sherman a coupletree weeks ago, and he was front and center again -- only as the perpetrator -- this past Sunday during the Fox matinee game. It almost seems like it is too perfectly set up against the Pack. Regardless, if that's what it takes to make PI reviewable, then I'm for it. But if the Packers get screwed again by a bad PI call / no-call to drive the issue home to a nationwide audience in a playoff-caliber matchup later this year, Coach will be calling on you to get your torch and pitchforks and we're going after Goodell at his home (his wife is Fox News fox, Jane Skinner – great name, so it might be beneficial to surprise attack at night, and I call dibs, but we can plan the details out later). Anyway, ... Knowing that Roger G is a follower of The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! (as much as Coach is a follower of MILF Fox News anchor women), he probably will heed this warning and PI will become a reviewable play next year. The only problem is that the Rules Subcommittee will likely fail to consider unintended consequences and completely remove common sense from the review process (as they sip Mai Tai's at their Miami hotel pool together during the owners' meetings next March), making pass interference calls more controversial than they are today (see also, "fewer" kickoff returns by changing the touchback to the 25-yard line, or the 2-replays review limit even if you are right both times, or the 15-yard "Jim Schwartz" penalty for throwing a red flag on an automatically reviewed play, etc.). The anticipated PI review rule flaw will be demonstrated, and then undoubtedly ignored, during the 2017 preseason "test period," and the Packers will fall victim to it and the idiocy of the NFL's implementation of that half-ass new PI replay review rule -- most likely on national television with a season-changing outcome. ...and the rule will be revised or eliminated the following year until we get screwed over again in 2018, which will end up with the NFL re-instituting another, less idiotic (but still probably not as good as an obvious and simple solution that 2 guys in a tavern could come up with), version of the rule in 2019. (Sigh.) What else... Oh, yeah: When smokin-hot sideline reporter and part-time voyeur victim, Erin Andrews, asked Mike McCarthy at halftime of the Atlanta game about what the Packers needed to do in the 3rd quarter, MM's reply was "We need to get the run going." Huh? WTF, McCarthy? You were completely dismantling Atlanta with the pass in the 1st half, and now you need to completely switch gears and run the ball? WTF for? ...to have frequent 3-and-outs? ...to tire out our defense? ...to showcase our no-name pickup RB's off the street? ...to lose the game? Sorry to sound like a broken record, but as sure as the Bears still suck, Mike McCarthy cannot manage a football game. He unjustifiably does the exact opposite of what is supposed to be done in key game situations to win games. Think about it ... When we were down by 2 in the 4th quarter, if we didn't get that "12 men on the field" penalty called in our favor -- you knew McCarthy was gonna go for it on 4th and 1 instead of kicking the sure-bet, game-leading field goal. I was freaking out, screaming for him to kick it. You were, too. Stick to offensive play calling, Mike, after you get instructions from a real head coach ... somewhere else. OK, one more… If I'm Thom Brenneman, I have GOT to be thinking -- WTF, man?! You might be asking "Thom who?” (...and why does he spell his name with a silent 'h' in it?) Thom Brenneman was the play-by-play announcer in the early 90's, alongside legendary color commentator Harry Carey, for the Chicago Cubs. Thom saw many painful contests of Cubs baseball game losses up close and personal. So, the Cubs FINALLY get to the World Series, and Thom gets assigned by Fox to do a Packers football game in Atlanta with Trohy Aikman so that St Louis native and Cardinals fan, Jhoe Buck, can do the play-by-play of Game 5 at Wrigley, which the Cubbies win in dramatic 3-2 fashion. THAT sucks (if you're Thom), but it's also what Coach considers "FIB justice" (see also, FIB karma). As for the silent "h" ... Who TF knows? Maybe ask his brother, John. Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof I bet you couldn't wait to watch the Bears beat up the Vikings on Mundane Night Football. Cutler was back, Alshon Jeffry caught up to Geronimo Allison in quantity of 2016 touchdowns... pretty awesome stuff (that's sarcasm). Bears fans, until your team stops being referred to as "the perfect medicine" for what is ailing your opponent each week, you pretty much suck. Putting things in perspective, Chicagoans were more surprised that the Bears beat the Vikings than the Cubs won a World Series game at home (something no one alive has ever witnessed before). But Coach can be gracious, too. Congrats to Soldiers Fields for actually selling out a game this week! No, it wasn’t the nationally televised Chicago Bears football game Monday night (that was still blacked out in Chicago), it is Saturday’s rugby match between Ireland’s “Ireland” team (catchy name) versus New Zealand’s “All Blacks” (and I thought “Redskins” was provocative). Judging by the tailgate poster, I suspect there won’t be a sober soul in the stands. I can’t believe I turned down free tickets (I just can't stand going to Chicago). Coach had another trip through Chicago en route to a decent city on Monday. During my layover at O'Hare it was quite surprising to see near-zero Bears jerseys being worn by the locals on a game day; yet, PLENTY of Cubs apparel. Noteworthy, I factually observed more Cleveland Indians apparel being worn by travelers in Chicago than Bears apparel. Apparently there is a soccer team in Chicago called the Fire(?). Coach is unfamiliar, but noted more of those jerseys being worn by the dapper airport staff than the typical Urlacher #54 left-overs acquired via the Goodwill outlet stores sprinkled generously across greater Chicagoland. One last thought... It's not just the Bears, ALL of Chicago sucks. Even the famous, yet homely (in a bug-eyed, inbred sort of way), celebs from Chicago getting TV closeups by Fox cameras during the World Series (Bill Murray, Eddie Vedder, John Cusack, Vince Vaughn, etc.) had to leave Shit-town to become famous. Not so in Wisconsin! Our celebrities never had to leave their hometown to become famous ... Ed Gein, Jeffrey Dahmer, Steven Avery, Bill Schroeder, just to name a few. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground One major test stands between the Badgers and a trip to Indy for a rematch with Michigan or Ohio State. Evanston has been the site of more Badgers implosions that Badger Underground cares to remember. Rarely have we gone in as the underdogs to Northworstern and again we are 5.5-7 point favorites to the Mildcats. During the last two visits, we committed a combined 7 turnovers. None of the losses can equal two that happened on Camp Randall turf. The first was the “take a knee” game during Ron Dayne’s freshman season. Despite the hit that Barry Alvarez and WI recruiting took over the next couple of years, Ron Dayne teams went on to win two Rose Bowls. The second debacle took place last season as Jazz Peavey caught the game winning pass in the end zone, took 5 steps in the end zone with the ball secured, then was hit out of frustration by a NU defender, causing the ball to shift as Peavey went out of bounds. Peavey would have been better off spiking the ball after two steps. That game, like the take a knee game, tarnished what otherwise would have been considered a good season. Here’s ‘s troubling about our chances this weekend… WI has been able to get by the last two games without their stud NT. Cichy was the second most physical player on that defense. NU’s RB is a load and is among the conference leaders in rushing. Iowa and the Cornholers did not possess such physical runners. Cichy filled DL gaps during the first half of the Iowa game. His replacements racked up a bunch of tackles in the Nebraska game, but are far less physical. I expect our defense to get shoved around. If TJ Watt is unable to go, we lose yet another disruptor who has been the face of our defense. Complimenting their running game, NU has developed a very good passing game. Good news there is that the WI DBs have steadily improved from week to week, making a number of impressive plays on the ball versus Nebraska. Despite getting two OL starters back against Nebraska, the OL continued to underwhelm and had as little push as we have seen this season. LG Deitzen is still dinged up and looked like a hybrid of the Michelin Man and the Pillsbury Dough Boy. He regularly got shoved back into the pocket and repeatedly whiffed trying to block LB’s, setting up T-bone hits on Clement like we have never seen. Continued porous pass protection for Joe Willy Hornibrook is going to get him laid out for good one of these weeks. He has withstood a ridiculous number of hard hits. Enter the pick machine Bart Houston. Despite Houston’s ability to run for his life, we did not see much in the way or rollouts or bootlegs. Following Hornibrook’s regrettable pick into coverage trying to throw to an open Fumagalli, Houston did one better forcing a ball into double coverage after staring down the receiver who was never open and had zero prospects of ever getting open. Two 4th quarter picks, a missed FG and a missed extra point late is hardly confidence inspiring. To this point, WI’s offense has been able to put together one key drive late and rely on the defense to do the rest—with the exceptions being the MI & Ohio State losses. The defense’s ability to do that this week is in question. The OL has been nothing short of awful in obvious passing situations since the Michigan game. NU hung with Ohio State at their place while we fell apart late against them in Madison. We both beat Iowa. Nebraska beat NU as they were still figuring things out. We self-destructed in the 4th quarter vs. Nebraska, but ran the ball down their throat after getting a TD to win in OT. NU is improving each week and against good competition. We have been losing a key defender each of the last three weeks. We do have the revenge factor on our side this weekend, like we got in Evanston the year after the take a knee game. I don’t care what form it takes, but catching a break – even if on a controversial play, would be karma. FIB karma. We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Rematch!!! We’ve all been waiting for this one! No doubt the emotional scars left over from of the Hall of Fame game “scrimmage” will spill into the contest this Sunday. Try to contain yourself. Temperatures have been unseasonably warm, but there is little chance the painted “G” will curdle on the 50-yard line at Lambeau. But really, the primary reason that we will beat the Colts is that mediocrity should prevail over ineptitude. We are an OK team and the Colts are really, really bad. Any questions? We have done a good job of squeezing past the lousy teams we’ve played ---- we’ve beaten teams that are 19th, 20th, 28th and 29th in point differential. Yay! However, we’ve lost to the 3rd, 7th an 8th ranked teams. If the pattern continues of only beating lower ranked teams, we will finish at 10-6. OK, we are right at the half-way point in the NFL season. We are going into Week 9, we’ve played 7 games and we’re going to win the Super Bowl, right? Pete Roselle, NFL commissioner who grew the league to what it is today, had a stated objective of parity between the teams. His thought was that if every team was mediocre, all teams would be good. That led Coach to think about various synonyms for the word mediocre. Maybe we can start a contest, which word do you think best describes the 2016 Packers thus far? decent / middling / ordinary / second-rate / undistinguished / uninspired / colorless / pedestrian / unexceptional Hey, that’s not fair, Coach -- we’ve had a lot of injuries! Well toughen up, Sonny. The chart below plots wins vs. injuries and the Packers have had an average number of injuries this year and are average at winning games. Naturally the Pats are at the top, winning more games than their injuries would suggest, and are performing much better than the Packers. So, Sonny, stow that injury excuse for someone who cares… Now we’re 8 weeks into the season and it’s time to start thinking about how the playoff race is shaping up. We are in a logjam of average teams and we have lost to the only 3 good teams we’ve played; who also happen to be in our conference so they will be in superior position when it comes to play-off seeding tie-breakers. Keeping with the tracking we’ve been doing (Coach’s “Pythagorean point differential model”, the extrapolation of current record and the FiveThirtyEight prediction), we see all agree that -- based on results so far, the Packers will finish 9-7. Combined with the 10-6 game-by-game look above, its starting to feel like Marty Schottenheimer is setting us up for another disappointing flash in the playoffs. Shockingly, after all of that, “if the season ended today” it would be January, and we’d be the number 6 seed in the playoffs… …and while getting into the playoffs is “great” according to Mark Murphy, Coach would rather focus on winning our last game of the playoffs. Unfortunately, FiveThirtyEight has the highest odds for us as “one and done.” The FiveThirtyEight forecast below is very interesting when it comes to playoff seeding. They actually “play” over 100,000 game simulations to come-up with the forecast below. What they are basically forecasting is another exit like we’ve had every year with TT, MM & the big Legume. Coach would gladly take “an Elway” and let the team slide for a year to re-stock the coaching staff and get ready to win. This mediocrity thing is wearing thin. JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them Cecil Isbell was a star for the Packers and the Purdon’t Boilertinkers in the 1930’s and 40’s. He is second only to Chuck Cecil on my list of favorite Packers Cecils. Aside from swooning the ladies with his muscular frame and metrosexual name, the highlight of his days in college was probably his winning of the Allstar game MVP award after leading the College Allstars to victory over the NFL Champion Redskins. From there he went on to share the leading half-back roll with Packers star Arnie Herber, both of whom threw passes to NFL Hall-of-Famer Don Hutson!
In those days the “quarterback” position wasn’t really recognized; some “halfbacks” were designated to throw the ball, and the Packers had two of them. In 1942 Isbell passed for 2,021 yards and 24 TD’s…IN A 10 GAME SEASON! Scale that up to 16 games and you have over 3,200 yds. passing and 39 TD’s. Think about Starr, Favre & Rodgers, sprinkle in Lynn Dickey, the Majik man and a few others and clearly there is no other franchise that has had as many good passers as the Pack!! At the end of his career he went on to Coach the Boil-lancers for a coupla years, and then in ’49 moved on to coach the new Colts team in Baltimore. The roots of the franchise go back to December 28, 1946, when the bankrupt Miami Seahawks of the All-America Football Conference were purchased, relocated to Baltimore and renamed the "Colts." On September 7, 1947, the Colts, under Head Coach Cecil Isbell, won their initial AAFC game, 16-7, over the Brooklyn Dodgers. That was the highlight for Isbell’s coaching career, as the team concluded its inaugural season before a record Baltimore crowd of 51,583 by losing to the New York Yankees, 21-7 and he got booted after a 1-11 1949 season. The AAFC and NFL merged in 1950, and the Colts joined the NFL. Later, of course, infamous owner of the Baltimore Colts and notorious drug addict, Robert Isray, moved the franchise in the dark of night to Indianapolis for a cash payout. (One wonders what he needed all that cash for all of a sudden.) You know the rest. Anyway, Cecil Isbell was good. |
Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
Categories |