Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! Let’s be clear, we loved watching Brett Favre play, but Coach will not be dedicating the 2016 season opener to the memory of Brett Favre (click on link) just because he was inducted into the Hall of Fame this year. Any sap can do that. Rest assured, Brett will likely get a JB article about him at some point down the road (maybe when we play the Jets or Falcons or draft a quarterback from Mississippi State), but it will probably be focused more on his antics than his arm. So stay tuned for that. Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme On behalf of the Packers, let Coach welcome you to the 2016 ABA Season, bringing the excitement of ABA Professional Basketball. Fast paced, high scoring and entertaining! The American Basketball Association was formed in 1967 to be a “fun league” with high scoring to counter the “boring” NBA with great defensive teams like the Boston Celtics. The ABA was noted for its goofy red, white & blue ball and ultra-cool guys like Dr. J flying through the air. The ABA still exists today!!! (click on link) Watching the old ABA is a good primer for the 2016 Packers. As of Sunday, the Packers kept a record number of 19 “Perimeter Players” (12 DB’s & 7 WR’s) and a consequently record low number of 13 total linemen to cover BOTH sides of the ball. Troublesome? Coach simply observes that football is still won and lost in the trenches. As long as Rodgers isn’t running for his life because of the crowd of rushers gushing thru the gap vacated by Josh Sitton, we “should” have a prolific passing offense. Dr. J did actually win one NBA championship, and he also was "very close" friends with the mother of a grade school friend of Coach, but let’s hope the parallels end there for A-Rod (I mean, she’s gotta be like in her late 70’s by now). We know that you’ve read all the pre-season hype about how Jordy and newbie TE Cook will open up the offense so that Davante can drop the ball in key situations; Eddie and P90X, blah, blah, blah. Coach believes that Ron Wolf was correct when he asserted September has 1’s facing 1’s, and it isn’t until the injuries of September peel back the onion to reveal roster depth in October that you can really judge a team. Given the bizarre state of the roster as of Labor Day, let’s focus on some details going into Week 1 that will no doubt shape the game. The story for this week’s battle against the Jags is their good ole’ fashioned 4-3 defense, their focus on a running offense, their maturing game manager (Bortles) at QB, and their head coach -- none other than Gus Bradley. Yes, the mastermind of the Seattle Defense that has given us so much trouble. Gus and GM David Caldwell are entering their 3rd season with Jacksonville. In an interesting aside, the Jags were purchased in 2011 by Shahid Khan, the only Pakastani-American NFL owner (and ironically also the owner of an other mediocre football team, Fulham FC of the English Premier League). For extra points, readers should try to identify who-is-whom above... Nicely done, Javon! I think you’re ready to retake the Wonderlic. But I digress… Bradley and Caldwell have been building a team in the “old school” fashion with an offense predicated on good running and an aggressive, attacking, yet simple, 4-3 defense. Packers Offense vs. Jaguars Defense: Expect to see a defense that looks much like we’ve faced in Seattle. Overall Coach thinks they were very good although statistically they were average at best in 2015, around the 20+ area in most defensive rankings. Coach points out, however, that the Jaguars’ offense was not very good, so the D was frequently in poor starting field position. They have 4 very good, very active DL that allowed them to be the lowest blitzing team @ 16%. During the offseason the Jags added Malik Jackson at DT, Tashaun Gibson at FS, and also returned Jared Odrick at DT (in order to have the league-required minimum of 1 normal first-name on the defense’s roster, and who happened to be their sack leader in 2015). Also of note was the addition of Myles Jack (he of the knee, and limited cognitive capacity) who has had a good preseason at MLB and Weakside LB. He’s listed as #2 MLB on the official Jaguars depth chart, but expect to see him at Weakside or “Will”. Related, do not expect to see Tim Tebow playing at all in the MLB. Jacksonville will probably key on Eddie and strive to hold us to less than 3.5 yds/carry. The Jags will likely play variations of Cover-2 and Cover-3 zone (like the Seahawks). Expect Mr. Rodgers to use a lot of Lacy play action (the RB, not the lingerie) in order to freeze MLB Posluszny (a former exploited youth at Penn State) and find Jared Cook in the 15-yard seam up the middle of the field; in-turn that should open up Jordy on backshoulder passes, followed by slants to Cobb and Abracadabraderis. When the Packers Defense takes the field, all Coach can say is look out… the Jags will give the Packers all we can handle in the run game. During the offseason the Jags signed Chris Ivory who has had a prolific running career so far with the Saints and Jets with a career average 4.6 yds/carry. As observant followers of The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! already know, the Pack’s DC Legume (aka Capers) defense is predicated on defending the perimeter. Sometimes it just makes you want to pull your hair out (or toupee, I suppose). While this was a solid defensive concept in the old ABA and against the 3-point shot, it doesn’t leave enough beef in the middle of the field and it didn’t stop Dr. J from a running dunk through the lane. Although, in theory, the Pack runs a 3-4 D, they are almost always in a Nickel (5 DB’s), a Dime (6 DB’s), or a ??? (?Dime Plus?, or maybe a ?Quarter?) with 7 DB’s. According to ESPN stats, the Packers gave up 4.3 yds per carry in 2015 when they had fewer than three DL on the field. When we do go to the Nickel, usually it is with 2 DL and 4 LB. Capers professes that with less than 3 D-linemen, 60% of the time it works every time. Obviously the Great Legume wants the speed of the LB’s, but when they are standing up they cannot get low on run D. The two formations that Coach depicts below were featured heavily during OTA’s, Training Camp and Preseason. Both formations scream “Run up the middle!” to the other team… much as the 9’ers National Anthem-sitting quarterback did against the first formation in our three consecutive losses to SF. BTW, Colin Kaepernick scored a 38 on the Wonderlic test, but it doesn't measure good judgement. It’s intuitively obvious to the casual observer that we get much more speed on the field, and if the other team is dumb enough to throw the ball, we will have many more DB’s than they have receivers. The trouble is we are undersized in this formation and we have too many young players with questionable smarts to execute such a complicated system. Clearly McCarthy & Thompson are going all-in on our Offense quickly blowing out opponents. 2014 was loaded with boring blowouts -- usually a big turnover followed by Nelson/Cobb bombs and we'd be at least a couple of touchdowns up by halftime. Coach will concede that Capers D is perfect when up by 21 in the first half or up by 14 late in the 2nd (when the opposition is no longer running). WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like We can always count on NFL refs missing the call on an obvious 15-yard penalty that would have given the Packers great field position and an automatic first down at a key point in the game (see also, every Packers playoff loss since 1995). Brandon Ross had a nice 7 yard gain against the Queefs in the last preseason game and was blatantly spun around and yanked down by his face mask. No call. Not that any preseason game is worth a crap, but if you happened to DVR that game (as all Millennials and most Gen-Y Packer fans do), you’ll see after the very next play at the 7:45 mark in the 3rd Quarter that ARod is barking out F-bombs at the refs from the sidelines for a bogus holding call on Lane Taylor. (I guess we now know why Rodgers was cheering for Taylor so much!) No more Mr. Nice Guy, Aaron? I like the swagger. Well, no real-game blown referee calls to complain about leading into Week 1 (even the Big 12 refs calling the Carmex Lambeau Field College Classic game between Wisconsin and Louisiana State University did a commendable job), so this week’s Wednesday Taco Feature is people who say “Jag-wires” instead of Jaguars. It makes no sense. It’s not even something you could imagine as being an honest mistake. What’s the first thing you do when you hear someone say “Jag-wire”? … You look at the person next to you like “WTF, man? That dude just said Jag-wire instead of Jaguar, and it sounded stupid, right?” And the person next to you is looking at you the same way, both with smirks on your faces shrugging your shoulders. Coach knows. I will be very cross if the well-paid CBS game announcers or NBC Sunday Night Football highlight announcers or ESPN SportsCenter commentators utter the words Jacksonville Jag-wires when commenting on the game (don’t let me down, Dan Patrick). Not sure how that Jag-wire thing got started, and even more baffled why it continues. Frankly, I don’t really care about the history or idiocy of it, but when Coach thinks about some of the most annoying things that people say, “Jag-wires” is near the top of the list. Here are some others:
Before we leave this segment, I know what you’re thinking…”Coach, how can you open WTF for this year without mentioning the cut of Josh Sitton?” Well, as regular visitors to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! already know, Coach has unique access to film recorded inside the walls of 1265 Lombardi Avenue and, as a result, I can share with you footage of the actual Thompson/McCarthy final cut down to 53 (Click on Link) which should easily explain this sensible roster maneuver. The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Bears fan Elizabeth Bowman died this past January (God rest her soul) and took one last shot at quarterback Jay Cutler on her way out. It’s funny, because it’s true. She had her obituary published in the Chicago Tribune. The brief write-up described her life, legacy and distain for old Gutless himself:
But I for one am willing to give Jay Cutler some credit where credit is due. Looking at his latest publicity photo, clearly the guy has done a nice job rehabbing from his phantom knee injury in the 2010 NFC Championship Game. Maybe Teddy Bridgewater should give Jay a call. (Too soon?) Coach won’t comment on the Bears signing OL Josh Sitton (to a $20.6M 3-year deal with $10 million guaranteed!) out of sympathy for him and his family. Stand up guy. Well respected in Green Bay. Go on, take the money and run. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground What a delicious win for Bucky in Lambeau Field! The Bayou Bengals were stymied on offense by a stifling D under new coordinator Justin Wilcox. They moved the ball well enough against the Tiggers and their new DC (former Badger DC) Dave Aranda. Despite some first game jitters and mishaps, we prevailed over the #5 ranked LSU Tigers. Bart Houston was serviceable and will hopefully improve. So, where did this opening day win compare to other upsets, opening day or otherwise? Badger Underground puts it at least #6 and maybe better. The Badgers are now a football powerhouse and have been solidly since 1993. There were days when Bucky was the patsy of choice for non-conference schedule padding. In those days we had some REAL upsets:
Now we have a couple practice games against Akron and Georgia State before the incredible buzz saw of a Big 10 Schedule – At MSU, At Michigan, tOSU at home and at Iowa. We have had a favorable Big 10 schedule the last few years and now it is probably payback time. Badger Underground predicts Bucky will come out of those first 4 Big Ten games with a respectable record and go on to a 9-3 season with some WTF loss down the stretch (NW, Goofs, etc). This may not be good enough to make the Big Ten Championship game (depending on how Iowa does), but it would be doing pretty darn well and we will have plenty to cheer about! ON WISCONSIN! We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Make no mistake, the Pack will win. But, just like Tommy in Little League who makes a routine fly-ball catch into an exciting drama, we will turn a “should-be-blowout” into a squeaker. Packers 27 Jagwires 24 Last year the brain trust of the NFL scheduling committee felt it was smart to give the Packers an automatic 1-0 start by pitting them against the Bears. Glad to see they were able to recognize that scheduling another cream puff opponent on the road to open the 2016 season would be a good idea. Now Jacksonville isn’t quite the Sisters of the Poor like da Bears aim to be, but it IS Jacksonville. Coach thinks of it as sorta like a 6th preseason game in terms of competition, but we get to count the W when it comes time to dole out home field advantage so that the road to Superbowl LI goes through Green Bay. Thanks, Roger! By the way, did you know that the black panther (not sexpanther Click On Link) is actually a Jaguar? It is simply the melanistic form of the cat, and if you look very closely you can actually see black spots against its dark pigment coat. Think of a black lab with a yellow lab sibling (like Coach’s dogs, “Bucky” and “Badger” … seriously). Same thing. Since that probably blew your mind, here’s more … Jaguars are occasionally found roaming in the state of Arizona! In fact, a couple hundred years ago Jaguars used to dominate the southern landscape of what we now call the United States. Apparently, there weren’t enough tree-hugging freaks around back then to advocate for a limited Jaguar hunting season as the western expansion of Eurotrash progressed, and pile on that Al Gore's great great great grandfather, Colonel Angus (click on link), blanketed large plantations across their habitat so they had to flee down toward southern Mexico -- despite the large wall that Poncho Villa built (and had the pilgrims pay for). I’m pretty sure that is historically accurate. JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them Remember when Jacksonville was good? If you do, then you’re not a Millennial and you’re probably not even sure what that means. Back when the Carolina Panthers and Jacksonville Jaguars broke into the NFL in 1995, they both amazingly were able to reach their respective Conference title games in just 2 short years. Of course, the Packers beat the Panthers in Lambeau on January 17, 1997 en route to their SB31 victory and 12th world championship, and the Jaguars fell to the New England Patriots on that very same day (…and if you were paying attention above, then you’d now know that BOTH Carolina and Jacksonville mascots are amazingly, in fact, Jaguars!). What you might not recall is that the Jags starting DE in 1997 was the former Green Bay Packer, Wisconsin Badger, and Manitowoc Ship – the pasty white, red-haired, Don Davey. Coach grew up in smalltown Wisconsin with Don after he moved from Rochester, NY, and we played flag football together at the Y, and then with pads on in junior high, and in high school there were 2 state championships, yada yada yada (yawn). He was the prototypical 7th grade quarterback and nose guard combination. In high school he was the skinniest kick-ass defensive lineman you could imagine, and got a free ride to Madison (pre-Barry success). Don was a straight-A student, too. Probably coulda got a free ride to Mad-town on grades alone, graduating as high school valedictorian and voted “Most likely to succeed.” But that didn’t stop him from acting just as dumb as the rest of us … I remember one time in 8th grade when we got busted by my sister for pouring “garbage cans” drawing booze from various bottles in Dad’s liquor cabinet and refilling them slightly with water (What? We grew up in Wisconsin, for chripes sake). Or the time Don and fellow high-schooler “Stuey” went to watch a Packer game at Lambeau and got busted for running out onto the field after the game. Or the time a bicycle was “borrowed” and went through a window in a Madison apartment complex as part of a drunken stupor. Good times, good times. As I recall, though, Don -- for being a behemoth of a man and borderline genius, couldn’t pound-for-pound handle his liquor quite like the rest of us native-born Wisconsinites, but we were glad to have him anyway. Now, back to Don as a Packer… Don was drafted in the 3rd round by the Packers in 1991 and he was the starting DE for 4 years before new GM and future Hall of Famer, Ron Wolf, decided to not extend him a contract offer for a 5th season in Green Bay. The newly formed Jacksonville Jaguars, with head coach Tom Coughlin of subsequent NY Giants infamy, did sign him though – for $3 million jack! Not too shabby for a guy with 1.5 sacks on his NFL resume. Don, being the gracious guy and disputed light-weight drinker that he was, immediately bought a round of drinks for everyone in the Madison bar that he was at the same night he signed with the Jags. By the way, that made Don the 1st millionaire who Coach went to school with. For what it’s worth, the 2nd is the guy that invented modern-day CGI animation and sold its use to Steven Spielberg for his famous movie about large extinct animals in Costa Rica that were cloned using DNA that was extracted from the blood in the cargo hold of female mosquitos that were petrified in amber during the Jurassic Period. That former college classmate of mine is a LOT richer than Don and all of us, combined. Ever notice that they never explained how the defunct plant forms were regenerated in Jurassic Park? It doesn’t fit the blood-preserved-in-amber premise and just seemed inconsistent with and irrelevant to the story, other than the chick was a botanist. Why couldn’t they have just made her an archeologist, too? Michael Chricton died like 8 years ago, so we can’t ask him. But I digress… Nowadays, when not spearheading lawsuits against libelous internet blogs with run-on sentences, Davey purportedly franchises Firehouse Subs and competes in triathlons. Let’s just hope he doesn’t “don” (sorry) one of those pretentious 26.2 bumper stickers or walk around in a bike shirt to pimp his business when not actually riding a bike. If you’re at Lambeau, you might see Don lined up in a yellow jacket with other former Packers to border today’s players as they jog out of the tunnel before kick-off. That’s always pretty cool. Above all, let’s remember that Don was the original “local good-guy makes Packers roster” story (at least in my lifetime) long before Peter Mortell was a twinkle in his old man’s eye. Don may not have the invincible storyline of Vince Papale’s Philadelphia Eagles journey (sorry), but both were famously in bars before NFL success and both were let go by teams that went to the Superbowl two years later. So there’s that. Congratulations, Don – we salute you! The vitals on Don Davey…
Age: 48 Height: 6’-3” Weight: 248-lbs Race: White Hair: Red Favorite colors: red & white Nicknames growing up: “Red” “Whitey” “Boner” Hobbies: competing in triathlons, reading real estate novels Favorite song: “Piano Man” by Billy Joel
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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