Time to rub the Skins! Create a seam here - X' & O's about the game or a scheme Quick --- who was the QB the last time the Packers were down 21-0 at the end of the first quarter? If you answered Randy Wrong, you are Wright… The last time the Packers were this inept was under the guidance of Forrest Gregg, wrapping up a stellar 4-12 season at the Meadowlands. The game against the Giants was just a killer, as the Packers were totally destroyed by the eventual Super Bowl winning Giants. (Don't expect the Colts or Titans to be battling for the AFC Championship this year, though. Now for a deep, deep bonus question, name the Packers Running Backs/Special Teams Coach who flipped off Bill Parcels when the Giants lined up to kick a field goal in the waning moments of the game with the Giants up 52-24? If you answered “Paris Hilton” you get 5 points out of ten. Good ole’ John’s bird was pretty consistent with the timber of that Forrest led team, but none-the-less they made an example out of him and let him go. Frankly, Coach thinks we need to get Hilton back to kick some ass on this team. What did the ’86 Packers have in common with the ‘16 Packers? Talent? NO! Those 80’s teams were absolutely loaded, filled and stocked with bad talent, we’ve had a couple of injuries, but the 2016 team is still among the most talented teams in the league. Coaching and organization? Bingo, you perceptive reader you. Much as today, the team was in complete disarray. Just think about this for 11 seconds………………well OK, 7 seconds, the 2016 Packers were among 2 or 3 preseason favorites to win the Super Bowl, now they have us all running for the toilet bowl. Sunday's game could not have opened more favorably for us; Joe Thomas recovers the opening on-side kick at mid-filed only to have A-Rod fire the ball into the dirt behind Cobb on 3rd & 4. Follow that up with Goodson sliding into the end zone with the ensuing punt and we completely wasted our first opportunity of the game. The run D will save us right? What a friggin’ joke. One play and a 75 yard run to the end-zone later and the blowout is on. It’s hard to believe that a professional football team in their 9th game can be in such disarray. The sequence of pictures below show just how badly the entire team was faked out on that first run (to be fair if you watch the film live it’s clear that Datone Jones was not fooled at all, he came across the entire formation and almost made the tackle). This total team implosion is so complete that it’s hard to imagine…so Coach did a little bit of digging and has found strong evidence that McCarthy & Rodgers are intentionally tanking the season to move higher in the 2017 draft. When confronted with this evidence, Rodgers barked: “I think it’s ridiculous, I think people don’t understand how difficult it is to get draft picks in this league and get them consistently. The success that we’ve had here in drafting, it’s tough to do. We’ve set the standard pretty high. But I wouldn’t listen to some of those people out there. I mean they’re not in this locker room, they’re not in the meeting rooms, they don’t see the draft boards. They don’t know what’s going on, they don’t know the type of work ethic that we have here and that Mike has here. Especially guys like Mike Florio. Don’t waste your time reading crap like that.” When asked who he liked in the draft, Coach McMumbles mumbled, "I’d really like to get rid of all of our current receivers, accept for Richard Rodgers who is slow, can’t block and drops passes at key moments. Then Ted would probably give me enough money to sign Damore’ea Stringfellow from Ole’ Miss." (Click on Link) WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like It's starting already... McCarthy’s self-scouting is the biggest WTF in the long, sad history of WTF’s. When asked about his blatant inability to get the team to execute successfully this year, his response was “I’m one of the most successful coaches in the NFL.” Yeah, like 6 years ago. The last 2 years you’ve been one of the least successful coaches in the NFL (9-12 in the last 21 games, including games at Lambeau). It’s like the former British Prime Minister, Margret Thatcher, once said: “Being a leader is like being a lady; if you have to tell people you are one, you aren’t.” Some say the reason NFL TV ratings are down is because the Packers are down. Others blame Colin Kaepernick for his kneeling shenanigans during the National Anthem. Green Bay Packers like Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb don’t kneel in protest during the National Anthem, they hold the flag. Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Things look bad. We are 4-5. That is uncharted territory for Millennials. The natives (bad timing?) are restless, calling for the firings of the head coach and GM. Do the Packers suck? Well, they ARE in jeopardy of missing the playoffs. However, let’s face it – they are nowhere near “suck” region when you consider that the Bears are the gold standard for sucking. After all, the Bears are 2-7. THAT sucks. “But Coach, last year at this point in the season, the Bears were 4-5, just like the Packers are now….” Well, …shut up. Chicago’s best player, Alshon Jeffry, got served a 4-game suspension this week for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. He should be back just in time for the Packers matchup v. Bears later in the season. For us, that would be like losing Mason Crosby until December 18. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground A second consecutive break in an otherwise brutal schedule awaits the Badgers Saturday at Purdue. This game carries the interest level of week 4 in the NFL preseason, though Badger Underground staff is curious to see whether the brunette beauty heading last year’s sideline refreshment staff has any eligibility remaining. 30-40 mph winds will limit the passing ability of both teams, turning this game into a grinder. WI grinds with the best. Purdue’s defense in it’s current state is comparable to what we have seen the last two Sundays from the Green Bay Packers. Wisconsin should exceed 300 yards rushing. Don’t expect anything from the passing game, which is sorely in need of improvement. Similarly, Wisconsin’s defense should again dominate. Same recipe as last week. Rack up stats in the first half, then get reserves in the game during the second half. We don’t want to see Corey Clement again running late into the third quarter taking hits trying to surpass the 100 yard threshold. That would be an unnecessary risk, as Bucky should easily derail the Boilermakers. Saturday will be a day best suited for setting the DVR and hitting the woods for opening day of WI’s gun deer season. With a bit of luck, you may tag out before kickoff. While sitting in your tree stand counting squirrels, it is appropriate to think of and look ahead to the Gophers game next Saturday. We will resist the temptation to get into playoff scenarios for the Badgers, beyond saying that it will most likely be Wisconsin playing Penn State in Indy with the winner being the 5th ranked playoff team, behind 2 Big Ten teams that didn't make it to the conference championship game. Two years ago, WI came out of their game with the Goophs physically beat up, which set the stage for a blowout loss to tOhio State with a backup QB. MN’s defense is very physical and could give WI problems. WI would fall several rungs in the bowl pecking order with a loss. But more on that next week. Good luck in the woods. We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Well, as I’m sure you’ve all heard about already, Ted FINALLY listened to Coach and got rid of McCarthy late this week! Quite the announcement, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. At the press announcement of Harbaugh's hiring late this week, Packers GM Ted Thompson said "I had to drain the swamp. We never win anymore. So that’s why I brought in Jim. He has a tremendous amount of experience. And having played for the Bears, he knows a LOT about Chicago. Problems from Chicago are coming across the border, and they're causing tremendous problems here. They're bringing in drugs, some of them are rapists. I suppose some of them are good people, I don't know maybe? Jim will bomb the shit out of them. Jim Harbaugh knows more about FIB’s than the generals do... believe me." Approaching the podium, Harbaugh politely nodded in thanks to Ted for the kind words and new hat, and went on to say, “Make no mistake: THIS is my dream job. I always wanted to be head coach of the Green Bay Packers. Of course, there’s the tradition, but also… My parents live in Milwaukee, so I’ve got a strong connection here. When I didn’t get an offer from Madison to play college football, I was forced to play quarterback at Michigan and that gave me an opportunity to show the Badger State how good of a player I really was. When Mike got named head coach of Green Bay in 2006 of course I was disappointed, but I turned that into motivation and beat the Packers every time we played them when I was head coach in San Francisco – for me, I wasn’t tried to hurt the Packers … I was in essence applying for the head coaching job in Green Bay! My hard work and consistent results have ultimately provided me this opportunity. Like every other team I have coached, I expect to be playing for the championship in year 2. This won’t take long, the talent is already here and all this team really needs is a swift kick in the ass with the most basic of coaching … no offense to Mike, of course [eyes rolling]. And finally, I gotta give a shout out to Coach Clarahanson for all the support and encouragement over the past couple of years ... [clenching fists in front of his chin] WE DID IT!" Upon his firing, Mike McCarthy could not be reached for comment but told reporters that he intends to sue the Packers organization for wrongful dismissal per the terms of his contract, and he has hired renowned attorney, Bob Loblaw, (Click on Link) to file an injunction against the team. Good luck with that, dipshit. Although the Wildcard rematch game in DC was slated for a Sunday evening affair, NBC opted to flex out of their scheduling commitment to the Packers and Redskins, citing their arrangement with Chris Collinsworth that enables him to request alternative games if there is a greater-than-70% likelihood he will have to say “Rodgers has no one to throw to” more than 15 times in the upcoming game. Having a noon game sets up better for the Pack, as they have an abysmal 2-9 record in their previous prime time games. Hey, if you gotta grasp for straws, you gotta grasp for straws. Time to pay the bills… A special “Thanks!” goes out to this week's sponsor, syndicated episodes of That 70s Show on the CW. You remember the 70's, right? When having 4 wins by Thanksgiving was considered respectable, and enough to sell out Lambeau field with a 49% chance of winning games there. Of course, a ticket was $7 back then, not $127 like they are today. So, if you can't stomach watching any more of a game that has the Packers getting blown out by 21-points in the 1st quarter, change the channel over to the CW and watch That 70's Show. Coach recommends focus on Mila Kunis ... giggity giggity goo! JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them Ask any Wisconsin (or Cincinnati) tavern patron "Who did Brett Favre throw his 1st NFL touchdown pass to?" and they will quickly respond, "Kitrick Taylor!" That's an easy one, although no one anywhere else would probably know that (except for maybe folks in Kiln, Mississippi). But did you know that Taylor was actually the 2nd "Kit" to play for the Green and Gold? Kit Lathrop played his college ball as an Arizona State Sun Devil and then was nabbed (undrafted) in 1979 by the Denver Broncos, who then quickly released him. Of course, the Packers immediately scooped up this talentless dolt and gave the defensive lineman jersey #72. In Lathrop’s forgettable 1979-1980 stint with the Packers, he was largely an afterthought who failed to take up spots in post-game recaps or box scores while backing up players likes Earl Edwards, Terry Jones and Charles Johnson, which ultimately earned him the dubious media distinction of being ranked as the 10th worst Packer of all time. In his 2 seasons with the team, the Packers went 5-11 and 5-10-1 (5th place in the NFC Central Division). However, after being out of football the following 2 years, the upstart USFL had a lame team in Chicago named the Blitz that called him up. The following year he went to the USFL’s Arizona Wranglers, and the year after that the Arizona Outlaws, and then back to the NFL for the KC Chiefs, and lastly with the Redskins – and that team that won the Super Bowl in 1987! Good timing for a shitty player. Today, Kit Lathrop is a D-line coach for the Toronto Argonauts of the Canadian Football league (yippy!). But I know what you’re thinking… “Coach, WTF kind of name is Kit?” Good question, young lad. At the time, it was probably only the COOLEST name ever for a guy! So cool, in fact, that it inspired a whole TV series called Knight Rider starring the devilishly handsome David Hasselhoff (he, of later Baywatch and Dodgeball fame). (Oh, you GOTTA click on those links!) In Knight Rider, Michael Knight (Hasselhoff) is a man on a mission. Reborn, so to speak, after getting shot in the face, he decides to dedicate his life to fighting for justice. Knight is the lead field agent in a justice crusading organization (seems plausible so far, right?), part of which includes the development of “KITT” (Knight Industries Two Thousand), a super-powered, intelligent souped-up Pontiac Trans-Am. The KITT car can drive 300 miles an hour, is bulletproof, fireproof, can talk, and helps Michael fight injustices in the world. That show rocked, man. Anyways, Kit Lathrop was awful. See ya.
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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