How ‘bout dem Cowboys! As predicted, they suck, too. To quote Bart Simpson, “Haa, Ha.” Jerry Jones is the new Wayne Fonts … sure he had some initial success, but as long as he’s around the Packers will dominate his team. Glad to see his demise, and it’s fun to watch his spiral into crapdom. But on to DA RAIDERS! In a great Wisconsin tradition, Coach grew up in a time and place where every kid played football and every kid wanted to be Bart Starr or Ray Nitschke or Boyd Dowler or Paul Hornung und so weiter. (Und in dieser Zeit gab es viel mehr Deutsch sprechenden Menschen in Wisconsin als heute, aber das bedeutet nicht für diese Geschichte nichts, außer zu sagen, dass die Deutschen wirklich wie in Klammern Kommentare zusätzliche Einzelheiten zur Verfügung zu stellen.) So what to do? How do you split up the neighborhood football teams when everybody wants to be the Packers? Simple. Turn to the AFL. In our neighborhood Coach played for Da Raiders and Coach’s brother played for the Bolts, both great teams at the time. So while Coach has a warm spot his heart for da Raiders, and will wax on romantically about how Al Davis collected castoffs to win Super Bowls, he still wants to poke out the other eye with one of those stupid looking blades. Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme It’s the economy, Stupid. After the resounding 21 point victory over the Cowgirls, Aaron Rodgers was asked if he thought having Mike McCarthy call the plays made a difference. Aaron reservedly responded, “I don’t think our problem was execution, it was definitely lame-ass play calling by Tom Clements. I’ve been asking for this change since the 2nd quarter of the Broncos game, but Mike didn’t want to do it because it would be like admitting he was wrong. Now that our backs are against the wall and Mike’s employment is being questioned by Packer owners who post hilarious yet insightful blogs, he finally grew a pair.” Well, I couldn’t have said it better myself, Aaron. Now we will run the table, and the soaring Seahawks should beat the Cards in week 17, so then we’ll get a 1st round bye. Glad Mike finally changed his mind. So here we are –-- 13 regular season games in the books with 3 to go --- a number 3 seed if the NFL Playoffs started today and 3 quality opponents left on the schedule. Before we get to looking at the Cowgirls game let’s have a quick gander at a few Offensive and Defensive statistical ranking for the Packers. Our next three opponents are in the top 10 in each key category.
Against the Cowboys we were very effective running un-scouted looks (you’re welcome). The screen shot below is pre-snap on Stark’s TD run. Sal very astutely observed that Rodgers is lined up at Shotgun Depth, but in a “Pistol” formation with Starks behind him. The Packers pass out of Shotgun almost 100% of the time (again, see table above), but clearly the Cowboys were confused pre-snap, and notice the Safety is lined-up to the right/strong-side of the formation. Good catch Sal (and thanks for scientifically validating my assertions), even more kudos to MM/AR to create some confusion, and even more kudos to me for telling them to do it a week ago. WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like Coach has opined for several weeks, and you probably have, too, that McCarthy should take back play calling duties. Last week I softened it up a bit by pleading for a change in play calling “tendencies”… alas, Magic Mike read “The Coach Clarahanson Show!” and took over play calling duties. Of course I’m flattered (but not really surprised) that Eminem is a loyal reader of this fact-based diagnosis regarding his team and that he usually takes my sound advice whenever it is politically expedient, but I must say that he failed to read the caveat last week … do not make STUPID play calling decisions for the sake of being unpredictable. In this case, he started the 2nd half series without a running back in the backfield … WTF? The ONE thing that WAS working almost flawlessly in the first half was giving the ball to Lacy and Starks. Why the hell did McCarthy stop doing that????????????? I’m okay with putting Cobb in the backfield now and then – hey, it’s a clever way to mix things up and keep D’s on their heels. Shoot, Cobb could even throw a pass once in a while! But having Cobb in the backfield consistently with no RB’s play after play after play – especially when it isn’t effective, that sh!#’s gotta stop, man. Here’s the “duh”: (1) keep choosing the plays that work well – over and over and over again until the D can consistently stop them (especially if it involves running the ball and even if it is boring); (2) stop running the plays that don’t work even when you think they should. We don’t need you to be a genius, just unpredictable. The TD pass to R-Rod in the 2nd Q is a perfect example: it was a simple “Hey, Bubba Franks, go run 8 yards toward the left and sit down” route that worked because we consistently ran the ball and then A-Rod lined up under center in the I-formation. Basic stuff, but mixed in at the right time (Ja, das ist gut!). (click on link) TE Touchdown Pass And another question, “What’s the deal with Dez Bryant?” I mean, why does that guy keep putting the ball on the ground and then complain that he caught it? WTF? Read the rule book, man. You CAN read, can’t you? Maybe he’s a reason the ref’s are compelled explain the overtime rules to players when regulation play ends in a tie score, even though most 5th graders are keenly aware of the subtle changes that apply in quarter número cinco. P.S. Don’t send your kids to Oklahoma State. The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Hee hee. The Bears. Man, it’s too easy – they really do suck! It’s almost exhausting to witness over and over again. This week’s domination was provided by the feeble Washington Foreskins of the NFC Least division. Nobody in that division has a winning record, and if the Bears were in that division, they would be in 4th place. What a joke. Click your heels together and repeat “Los Angeles Bears” 3 times. It’s common knowledge that Rodger Goodell has implied the Rams will likely be moving – possibly by as soon as next year. Just recently, his daughter, Gracelyn, was captured on a Snapchat drunken rant at an NYU fraternity party rambling on that St. Louis would be joining the NFC North. At the time, it was puzzling, but the dots are now connected with the new, otherwise seemingly unrelated news that John Fox just bought a mansion in Malibu (and several of his assistants have contacted Los Angeles area real estate agents). When reached for comment about this information, Jay Cutler said “Neat, chicks are pretty hot there. I should know, I’ve been there, and they were. Hot, I mean. Wait, what was your question?” Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground With 2 weeks left until our underwhelming match against the University of Spoiled Children in the Holiday Bowl, we dedicate this week to bashing the TrOJans – easy to hate with alums like OJ “cold blooded murderer” Simpson, Prettyboy Pete Carroll, Keyshawn “throw me the damn ball” Johnson, Mark “butt-fumble” Sanchez, and Todd Marijuanavich leading the list of cheaters, killers, drug addicts, and just plain knuckleheads. Coach recommends this website (click on link) The Trojan-Haters Club. Here are the top ten reasons why the TrOJans suck and why the Badgers are better: 1. U$C entices recruits with illegal benefits like houses and Land Rovers, and admits anyone, regardless of academic fraud or criminal transgression, in a “win-at-any-cost” mentality, making an even playing field an impossibility.
GO BADGERS! Will Ferrell - Honorary Wisconsonite We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game Don’t just take it from me, here’s what NFL analyst and former Raiders linebacker Bill Romanowski had to say... (click on link) Bill Romanowski Raiders Insights Just win, baby. Hopefully Mike Daniels has 42 million new reasons to knock the snot out of Derek Carr on Sunday. Coach is not too thrilled with NFL schedulers that put back-to-back west coast trips on the schedule, but it is what it is. Winning the next 3 games will make us stronger and well-tuned for playoff demands. We can really use a bye week off, though. So, what will it take to beat the Gayders on Sunday? McCarthy often brings up “preparation” as a key to victory. I can tell you that he’s right, and it’s another reason we’ll win. I can’t get into the details of Packer preparation (Coach is sworn to secrecy to obtain the inside information that keeps my finger on the pulse of the team), but I can share recently obtained clips of the Raiders that were picked up off the editing room floor from the HBO documentary Hard Knocks stop in Oakland, and in my humble opinion they do not look like a football team that is prepared to win an NFL game … (click on link) Hard Knocks: 2015 Raiders JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them A couple of Raiders with Wisconsin connections deserve mention this week. First up, short-time Packer Ted Hendricks, and his improbable impact on our Ted Thompson… Nicknamed the "Mad Stork” because of his 6’7”, 220 lb frame, Ted Hendricks, the three time All American of the Miami Hurricanes, was drafted in the 2nd Round of the 1969 Draft by the Baltimore Colts. A defensive end in college, Don Shula converted him to linebacker and he was a pivotal player on the 1970 Colts team that won Super Bowl V. In total he played 15 seasons and collected three more rings, winning Super Bowls XI, XV and XVIII with the Raiders. He was also a central character in the dumpster-fire known as the Packers in the 70’s and 80’s. With the Colts losing contractual control of Hendricks, they traded him to the Packers for an eighth round pick. In Green Bay he had the best year of his 15-year career. He led the team with five interceptions and blocked an NFL record seven kicks (three punts, three field goals, and one extra point) and was named All Pro and selected for the Pro Bowl. You think JJ Watt is good? Hendricks was even better. However, the one-year contract Hendricks had signed with GM/Coach Devine had no option year, making Hendricks a free agent in 1975. New coach Packers Bart Starr would not meet Hendricks’ contract demands – chiefly that his contract be guaranteed (to add further frustration to the mix, Hendricks was quoted by several sources as wanting to stay in Green Bay, he simply wanted “protection against injury” in his contract). Starr could not see what a special talent Hendricks was or how it was worthwhile to go to unusual lengths to keep him, and more importantly - he needed draft picks. Because of Dan Devine’s colossal trade blunder for QB John Hadl the year prior (see Week 5: Packers vs. Rams), Bart traded Ted to the Raiders for two 1st round picks. We all love Bart so we tend to skip over his years in the front office, but he pretty much sucked as a GM. He squandered those two picks on a decent DE (Ezra “leave a hot dog for me on the bench” Johnson) and a bust on the OL (Mark “Canker Sore” Koncar) which did nothing to plug the gap of the 5 picks given up for Hadl. In a moment of Zen consciousness, Coach is convinced that Ted Thompson’s brain has the “Tale of Hadl & Hendricks” seared into his psyche. Coach doesn’t know how the wheels work inside the head of TT….but Ted’s aversion to big trades and high dollar free agent signings exhibits the mark of his tutelage by Ron Wolf, who in-turn was mentored by Al Davis. So ponder this as you sip your orange soda and munch on popcorn during the game Sunday: “What if Devine hadn’t made the Hadl trade? What if Bart hadn’t screwed up and let Hendricks go?” Two crucial decisions; decisions that sent the Rams and Raiders onto upward trajectories and helped ruin the Packers for the better part of two decades!! Now, because you've read this far and clearly have your priorities messed up, your reward is vicarious participation in a big shout out to quintessential NFL tough guy, “Clubs Are Trump”-land native and NFL Hall of Famer, Jim Otto. The donner of the famous “00” for the Raiders hails from Wausau and coincidentally also played his college years at University of Miami, just like our aforementioned anchor baby, the Guatemala born “Stork”. Otto was an animal, starting at center in 308 straight games for the Raiders and playing all 10 years of the AFL’s existence and 5 years beyond. For his effort, Jim’O has had 74 surgeries, including 28 knee operations (nine of them during his playing career alone) and multiple joint replacements. OUCH! This makes you want to tell our current OL to suck it up, get in there, and play!
Otto was on the losing end of SBII against the Lombardi led Packers, and never made it back to the Super Bowl. He did play in another 6 AFL / AFC championships, losing all 6 including the “Immaculate Reception” game against the Steelers in ’72, in which Otto caught his only NFL pass. Later, Dudes.
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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