Create a seam here - X's & O's about the game or a scheme
PONTIFF PONTIFICATES ON PACKER PROWESS One of the most notable aspects of the game against Kansas City on Monday night was the attendance of Pope Francis (pictured above). When he heard of the spat between Aaron Rodgers and Russell Wilson regarding God’s will, the Holy Father immediately announced his intention to attend the soonest Packer game that he could in effort to remove all doubt that God is indeed and above all a Packer fan. Francis, an Argentinian by birth, scored a single game ticket for $735 on StubHub.com – near the northwest goal line up 24 rows, right on the aisle (pretty sweet, Padre!). As you probably viewed on mainstream elite media outlets, with pre-game time to kill leading up to Monday, the Pope figured he might as well make stops along the way earlier during the weekend to do some sightseeing in Washington and Philadelphia (great cheesesteaks!). He scoffed, shaking his head downward, when asked about a possible stop in Chicago: “I don’t play for that guy’s team...” he said in broken English. Post-game, his Eminence was engaged – perhaps a little too much, with followers at the Stadium View in a celebratory beer-laden stupor, where both devout and Christmas-&-Easter Catholics purportedly dodged his passive-aggressive finger pointing and verbal threats in slurred speech: “From now on, I want everybody to call me ‘Psycho’…any of you guys call me ‘Francis’ and I’ll kill ya!” www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OnpkDWbeJs Regarding the game itself, there were undeniably a ton of technical mistakes and the "prevent nothing" 4th Q Defense was borderline disgusting (whew, no Julio Jones this time), but: - 18 different players recorded tackles...I'm pretty sure every active defensive player saw the field for at least a couple of snaps. - Early in the game we played a lot of "46" Buddy Ryan D, but with undersized players in the DE & LB slots. Essentially it's a 4-4-3 that most high schools have as a staple for stopping the run. Nate Palmer played OK, Joe Thomas outstanding considering that he was on the Dallas practice squad a week ago. I think Clay Matthews is having his best year as a pro...he really knows how to time his blitzes and if he'd played his whole career at Mike, he could be in the conversation with a handful of all-time NFL greats like Nitschke (and a couple of guys south of Kenosha). - D Line was un be liev able ---Raji, Pennel and Daniels only had a few snaps together, but are in the conversation for "best 3 man front" … and Letroy G comes back from the Principal’s office this week for the 9'er game with his newly installed gold grill! However, my buddy, Buzz Killian, reminds me the bad news is that (other than Pennel) they all are in the last year of their contracts, along with Datone Jones. I say, let Datone go and do what you can to sign the other 3. Daniels will command big $ but we might get a hometown discount because he’s a decent guy, Raji will be kinda expensive but not command the cash that M-Dan will (we might need to sign him for longer than we want to get a manageable cap number), L-Guy will be the best value because he has an asterisk on his dope sheet – for actual dope. - Offense: Wow. Any question that Rodgers is MVP right now? If he gets another ring he's my vote for best ever. If not, he and Favre will have to split that title. It's hard to judge how good any of our other offensive players are -- we are loaded with good players, but everyone is a pro bowler with 12 at QB. Our Achilles heel has been with teams that can get home rushing 4 (See playoffs: AZ, 2x NY, 2x SF, Sea) and drop 7 into coverage. This year’s Pack feels like a slightly better team, though, like they’ve got something up their sleeve (Depth? Field smarts?) to overcome that weak tendon exposed in years past. - Special Teams: 2 top-10 kickers, cover units that can cover, and return units that are decent so far. Seems like ST could be just good enough with our O and D to win it all. If nothing else, let’s face it – Zook just sounds better than Slocum. - Injuries: It feels like we have the best depth we've ever had…not much drop off when guys go down (and thanks for coming back, James Jones). This year we have the injuries, but we look damn good training the rookies and first year players. - Plays: Tommy C-tone is (for the most part) making pretty good play calls. Not much drop-off from Magic Mike (sorry, bad visual), but I wouldn’t mind seeing a little more play-action check-down high-completion-percentage passes from Aaron to the fullbacks or TE’s in the 4 minute offense. I know incompletions would kill the clock (duh), BUT WE HAVE AARON RODGERS. 3 and outs suck in the 4Q, especially with our D eating Ezra Johnson hot dogs on the bench at that point in the game. This week there’s been much mention from sports analysts, and rightfully so, regarding the slot screen with 2 wideouts blocking within 5 yards of the LOS – yeah, that worked pretty well. But what I am much more impressed with is the DOWNFIELD blocking by our receivers. They are really in command of the d-backs with their physicality, enabling that extra yard or two to get 1st downs or sometimes even breaking big gains. I credit the Mudder, #34 Edgar Bennett, for emphasizing that aspect of the game when he was WR coach (now he’s assistant Offensive Coordinator – which means he’ll be Magic Mike's OC next year when Tom Clements becomes head coach of the Lions or Colts). WTF - The Coach's take on a bad ref call or a bad play call or the like It was an EZ pick this week. With 3+ minutes left in regulation, and the Packers up by 16 points, the opposing coach, Andy Reid, was faced with 4th and long situation to keep his team’s hopes alive of making it game. The infamous Eagles “4th and 26” game still makes me tick between my neck and left eyeball once in a while, so I couldn’t help but think “No way, they CAN’T make it with 4th and 17! Not again!” And, they didn’t … we stopped them at least a yard short. But NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The ref’s gave them an extra yard or two anyway – knowing that Green Bay had no more TO's/challenges left. WTF, ref! The poetic justice (besides the victory) that followed soon after was this timely TV broadcast... www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDBQr9rOVTo Runner up WTF this week goes to our friends at Pro Football Focus for their feeble attempt at assessing QB performance. To make a long story short (yes, we do occasionally have short stories), after his 5 TD, 0 INT game against one of the NFL’s most formidable defenses, Rodgers was ranked 17th amongst QB’s, tied with Teddy Bridgewater behind the likes of Blake Bortles, Jameis Winston and Tyrod Taylor. I’ll take my chances with our guy, thank you. PFF is like the Chicago Bears of NFL analytics websites. Speaking of segues… The Bears Still Suck - the Coach has proof Really, are you kidding me? Seriously? This could be the suckiest of all suck jobs that the Bears ever sucked at. With a 0-3 start, they are already throwing in the towel! They traded away Jared Allen (eating his $11 million guaranteed bonus) and their most productive tackler, Jon Bostic, both for measly for 6th round picks. Can’t you guys even try to act like a professional football team? I mean, …seriously? Can’t you at least have the decency to pretend like you could win a few games? Maybe just wait until you’re 25% of the way through the season? I mean, think about it, the Lions might actually have a worse record than you losers this year, but they get to KEEP their good players. Shame. Chicago Mayor, Rahm Emanuel, commented late Monday that the trades seemed justifiable from his perspective, primarily because both players “…don’t have enough silent letters in their first names,” (referencing a poster that showed only 1 “r” in Jared, and no “h” in Jon) “so they aren’t good long term fits for the fans in Illinois.” He later suggested to media reporters that although a tax levy was expected to pass by year end – which would increase the city coffers by targeting each resident without at least 1 silent letter in their first name, that likelihood was in no way related to their hasty departure. Udder stuff - commentary from the Badger Underground As has happened before during the week leading into the Big Ten opener, the ghost of Chris Farley was spotted near the site of the original Buck's Bar on Hamilton Street in Madison – one of his favorite haunts when he was alive. Stumbling through the halls of the nondescript building that now occupies the former favorite Madison hang out, a distraught and translucent Matt Foley was seen and heard to lament, "Hey Badgers, you better stinkin' win this weekend or I am gonna kick Bucky's-furry-little-ass so hard he won't know what hit him. You candy ass slackers let me down last year against NorthWorstern and it better not happen again against I-owe-a…! So you guys wiped the floor with Miami, Troy, and Hawaii? Whoop-dee-frickin-doo! This is life in the Big Ten, hot shots! O-Line, start looking like you not gonna suck, and Tyrod Deal ‘n … Ogawanakboulahey – don’t slack off in the running game. Shobert and Caputo, we are countin' on you! Hey STAH-VAY! I wanna see you nailing Wheelwright all day long downfield and none of this pussy ass “yips” stuff. You better not freakin stink up the place or you might find yerselves livin' in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER!" (By the way, it wasn’t easy writing all that down while the ghost was rambling on incessantly at a reasonably fast pace.) On related news, we obtained this actual clip from one of Paul Chryst's early recruiting trips... www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb3bAB0xY3k We're gonna kick your a$$ - predictions for the next game The Forty-Whiners look pretty weak this year, and they just got walloped by the former Racine Cardinals team in Arizona. Is this a “trap” game or a "let down" game? We’re not gonna let that happen. We will be 4-0. You see, the Coach used to live on the left coast, and attended the divisional playoff game on January 6, 1996 at Candlestick Park. The memories from that 27-17 victory almost 20-years ago still ignite a fire inside me that can permeate through my skin, down Packerland Drive, and then hang a right onto County Trunk VK and blow the gates wide open at 1265 Lombardi Avenue to inspire the players of today as they prepare for Sunday. …until, of course, they have to leave for the airport, which in that case my fire would actually take a left turn onto Hwy 172 off of Packerland and then go through the round-about (hopefully only once!) at the Oneida Casino and park in the special roped off area for the players’ vehicles just north of the airport parking exit gates. Regardless, it was an awesome game, filled with great memories to share... First, me and my band of drunkateers had to find out how to get Packer playoff tickets from Green Bay -- but we were living in LA at the time, for a game in San Francisco. That might not seem like a big deal today, but remember at that time there was no such thing as the world wide interweb (since Al Gore was too busy hiding Slick Willy’s co-ed pages from Hillary). I had Ma’s Yellow Book with me out west, so I let my fingers do the walking to Ticket King and bought tix ($175 each) to be sent FedEx, arriving Friday (for the Saturday game). Of course, when it was time for us all to road trip up the 5, no FedEx deliveries had arrived, yet – so we drove through LA suburbia that afternoon in pursuit of a specific FedEx truck identified to us by the local dispatcher, and actually stopped the driver to get the tix (true story). He did ask for proper ID, but that was it! … and he hated the 49ers, so it was a sweet send-off. When we got to the San Fran hotel that night, Packer players were coming in to beat their 10pm curfew... Sean Jones was signing autographs outside the Wyndham bar, when John Jurkovic came strolling in at 9:59pm through the sliding glass doors (all glassy-eyed himself). I said “Give'em hell tomorrow, Jurko!” and he replied, nodding with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye “We’re gonna try.” Right then I realized it was already over – the Packers KNEW they were going to win that next day. While tailgating in the parking lot Saturday, we got full of beer and covered in spray paint / brat mustard while making our posters in hopes of getting on TV (which, a couple of us did!). On the front of my poster it said “You can’t stop him, you can only hope to contain him. Favre 4 MVP” (and I don’t want to take all the credit here, but Brett did end up winning the MVP that year). On the back it said “Bend over 49ers, the Pack is coming!” Our seats were behind the south end zone, fortuitously right in front of the SF cheerleaders – they nudged each other and pointed at me when I held the back side of that sign up. They all were pretty hot, but they seemed like they were starved for attention in that town for some reason(?). Lucky - me. We had great seats...we were fortunate enough to be in a whole section of Packer fans that booked a charter package from Green Bay. The main guy in that group was a smiley old geezer sitting right behind us – a retired president of some large Green Bay bank. Everybody in that section knew him dearly (except us) and they all called him "Dad" - it wasn't long before we did, too. He made sure we always had a beer in each hand throughout the whole game; patting us on the back of the shoulder as he handed us one after another. What a great guy. 9'er fans in the rows behind us pelted us with sourdough as we cheered our great plays, held up our obnoxious signs, and jeered when the Forty-Whiners messed up. All in all I would have to say the San Fran fans were pretty good, though. In the parking lot after the game they said they wanted us to beat Dallas the following week (which happened to be the cheap-shot-to-Jurko‘s-leg game …the “greatest O-line in history” my ass!). Anyways, on San Fran’s 1st possession, Steve Young completed a sideways pass to the running back, Adam Walker, for -3 yards. Walker infamously fumbled, recovered by Craig Newsome and he returned it 31 yards for the touchdown – right in front of us!!! We went CRAZY. Because of my pregame poster preparation (alliteration intended), the San Fran cheerleaders already sorta “knew” me and immediately approached me after that score to tell me in jest how sick my sign was (back then, "sick" wasn’t a good thing); yet, they oddly seemed to enjoy my company because they kept coming back to make comments to me whenever big plays occurred (for either team). Pretty awesome. I think you know where this is going… So the rout was on: Already up 10-0 in the 1st Q, Brettext Favre completes a 3-yard pass to “The Announcer” Keith Jackson for another touchdown. Then midway through the 2nd Q, Brett completes a 13-yard touchdown pass to Mark “What’s your daughter’s name?” Chmura. A couple of Chris Jacke field goals and a couple of garbage-time TD’s by Strigham Young, and it’s over! A statement victory that re-established, and has sustained, Packer dominance in the NFL to this day. After the game in the parking lot I bumped into some college buddies from Wisconsin that I hadn’t seen for a couple of years – freaky coincidence. A few other guys from our roadtrip group drifted away while exiting the stadium and ended up storming the flagpole in the office park next to the ‘Stick. With their furry Packer helmets on, they ran up a Packer flag! Within seconds a counter attack of angry Forty-Whiner fans mounted. Being outnumbered (and reasonable cowards), my buddies retreated to the beer cooler. I recall seeing one kindred spirit consoling another as he puked vehemently into the large white rocks of the breakwater shoreline at the edge of the parking lot. The beautiful but winding PCH ride home the next day didn't help our hangovers one bit. Oh yeah, speaking of beautiful - what about the cheerleaders? They ignored me as time ran out and I stumbled toward the aisle with my 90-year old new best friend, blind from too much beer and cursed with bionic hiccups. It was still fun, though. JB - Packer players you forgot about, but stories you'll remember about them I know you know who Bart Starr is, but If you don’t know who Lamar McHan is – you should… Lamar was the QB Lombardi wanted in 1959, and who he traded for from the Chicago [Racine] Cardinals in 1959, so that he wouldn't have to start the 1st round bust from 1952 (4th overall pick), gunslinger Babe Parilli, or the weak-armed, non-athletic 17th round draft pick from 1956, Bart Starr. I like commas. Lamar started the 1959 season with 3 wins to get the new head coach and the Packers off to a nice start following the 1-10-1 1958 season. As a consequence of injury, a 5 game losing streak, a hot temper and shooting his mouth off to Vince, McHan was permanently benched and eventually traded to the San Francisco 49'ers. Babe Parilli went to the Ottawa Rough Riders and Starr became the starter that led the Pack to a 4 game win streak, culminating in a season-ending win over the 49'ers at Kezar Stadium; which resulted in the Packers first winning season (7-5) in 12 years and launched an era of greatness. Also notable about the win over the 49'ers were the 36 unanswered points which overcame a 1st quarter 14 point deficit. The 14 point comeback is tied with 14 other games at 10th place on the all-time comeback list for the Pack. I am smart.
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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