Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: “Would you rather” is a game for punks… …Coach got a little perturbed during the bye week when, on occasion, he heard this thoughtless question murmured: “Who would you rather have the Packers face in the playoffs?” Like statistics, that is a forum for losers. The best team in the NFL should be able to beat any other team, right? So BRING IT ON! My question is “Who else can we play to prove we’re the best team in the NFL?” Let’s start with “the most DANGEROUS team in the playoffs” … ooooooo … so scary, those 49ers. “You don’t wanna face those guys.” Really? I do. And when we’re done with them, we’ll take apart whoever is next. That’s what Champions do (not whatever it was that the Lions head coach said after the meaningless Week 18 game). Do you think Vince Lombardi’s players worried about having to play Dallas, or do you think they cherished the opportunity to beat them and prove that the Packers were worthy of being called “Champions”? We’re down to the final 8 teams now … this is big boy football. Everybody is good and if you’re not on your “A” game, you might get beat. But if you’re worried about who you have to play, then you shouldn’t be in the playoffs competing for a championship in the first place. If we show up at the coin toss with our chin straps buckled tight to our helmets, we’ll be just fine. …at least, in Coach’s humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme The 2021 Regular Season is in the Bank Let’s review the key accomplishments: 1. #12 did not break a clavicle against Detroit (Bears 2013 – Vikings 2017 – Lions 2021?) 2. We finished 13-3 8 – 0 @ Lambeau (more below) 5 – 3 on the road 3. We went 0-4 in the Pre-Season – but we don’t care about the Pre-Season 4. We had middle-of-the-road stats… But, but … … we are #1 in turnover margin at home (#3 overall) … and we have committed the fewest penalties of any team (home and away) We spilled a lot of electrons this year explaining how the 13-3 Packers have done a tremendous job of overcoming a ton of injuries, although the injuries did hamper Offensive and Defensive performance and we finished in the Top-Third in most statistical categories. That effort, however, does not explain how we got the #1 Seed in the NFL Lombardi Trophy Tournament. What does explain it is not beating ourselves with penalties and turn-overs and that is how we will continue to win in the Playoffs. Since last week was a Pre-Season game, we’ll skip that and look in the archives and take a quick peak at the ‘96 Divisional Round against the Niners. The Packers were on the rise in ’96. After beating the Niners in an upset in the ’95 Playoffs at Candlestick Park … we had the better record during the 1996 Season and were the #1 Seed. The weather had been typical for a WI Winter until just a few days before the game when it got very warm (‘40’s) … and just like this week, the fans were nervous about it being too warm, eroding our cold-weather-advantage. That fear only grew as light rain fell on game day instead of the desired snowstorm. The field was a complete mess that day! A problem? Hell no, it was perfect, perfect real-man-real-football weather. Edgar Bennett (#34) sealed his reputation as a “Mudder” (thank you, John Madden) that day with 80 yards rushing and 2 TDs on 17 carries. The Packers dominated in every phase of the game --- time of possession (34 min), turnovers (+4) and yards. As great as Favre and Edgar were, the star of the game was Desmond Howard! He returned the first punt of the game for 71 yards and a TD and the rout was on! (Coach was in the SE EZ and saw the blocking on the punt return open-up a path like Moses parting the Red Sea.) Legend has it that Maurice Drayton was on vacation that day. Click on this link to see Desmond’s TD Punt Return. The TD was great … but Dez went in too fast and landed low … the judges only gave him a 6.5 on the Lambeau Leap. The rain and mud were fantastic, but the field was destroyed! In a landscaping miracle not seen since Carl Spackler was minding Bushwood, the Grounds crew at Lambeau re-sodded the middle 2/3rd’s of Lambeau … in the middle of January! Or course, that created a buncha “leftovers” … which the Packers marketing department quickly turned into a sales opportunity! Coach jumped on that and bought a dozen boxes! As you already know, the Pack went on to win Super Bowl XXXI, cementing 1996 as one of the best years in Packers’ history. However … the 90’s were not all sunshine and lolly pops. You probably have read that the Packers and Niners are 4-4 against each other in the Playoffs (Pack 2-1 @ Lambeau, 2-3 in SF). After the Pack had three consecutive playoff wins over the Niners, in the 1998 Playoffs we were back at the Stick in the Wild Card Round. We were winning 27-23 until we got jobbed by the Ref’s on the Niners last drive. Early in the drive Jerry Rice fumbled but was ruled down by contact (this was during the “no replay” drought, so no chance to challenge the obvious fumble). A few plays later we had a defensive breakdown and Steve Young hit Terrell Owens on a deep pass down the middle … and we lost 30-27. Another heart breaker… The moral of the story? Kill the Niners early on Saturday Night and don’t let the Zebras decide the outcome! WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Frustrated Dak Prescott Tries To Draw Foul By Planting Gun On Defender DALLAS—Having none of it, referees officiating the Cowboys loss to San Francisco on Sunday failed to call a penalty on 49ers defensive tackle Charles Omenihu at a crucial point in the 4th quarter after Dallas quarterback Dak Prescott apparently planted a Glock 9mm pistol on the defender. With only 18 seconds left, the Cowboys QB sealed the fate of America’s Team by running with the ball in the middle of the field until time expired, and then haplessly tried to negotiate getting an additional offensive play claiming a personal foul was committed by Omenihu. According to the NFL rulebook, defensive players are not allowed to brandish firearms on the field during a game, and violating this rule would have resulted in a 15-yard penalty and an automatic 1st down. Moreover, the game cannot end on a defensive penalty, so Prescott and the Cowboys would have been given another shot at the end zone. As the referees left the field, Dallas fans pelted them with rocks and garbage. Dak Prescott was disappointed when learning of fans throwing bottles at Cowboys players, but when he was told they were aiming at the refs, Dak responded: “Credit to them.” At press time, Prescott also announced he will be boycotting the Walter Payton Man of the Year award presented on the eve of the Super Bowl, which recognizes an NFL player for outstanding community service activities off the field The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Just for fun, Coach decided to Google (the verb) Chicago Bears headlines from this year’s gridiron campaign. What follows, in no particular order, are actual headlines. Enjoy…
You’re welcome. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground BU – Postseason Thursday was Bralen Allen’s 18th birthday. You will never have to hear ‘he’s only 17’ again. With some gaps to fill on next season’s roster, the Badgers have been pursuing receivers and cornerbacks on the transfer portal. Inspired by our lack of talent at receiver vs. Arizona State, the Badgers earned a commitment from 6’-3” UCLA wide receiver Keontez Lewis. Paul Chryst is already salivating at Lewis’ potential for gap-filling downfield run-blocking with the graduation of Jack Dunn. Twenty-four hours earlier, Bucky landed UCLA cornerback Jay Shaw. Congratulations NCAA Champion Georgia Bulldogs! Maybe next year for the Crimson Tide. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Packer Nation is pretty smart! A poll placed last week showed that youse has a purty good idea of what’s going on out there … you predicted the Niners, and we got the Niners! All-time the Packers have a slight lead in the series and the average score is almost tied at 21.5 to 21.2 In the playoffs the records are even closer, we are 4-4 against the Niners. During the Favre era we went 4-1: ’95 Win ’96 Win ’97 Win ’98 Loss ’02 Win Unfortunately, we are 0-3 during the Rodgers Era (come on, Law Of Averages!): Let’s not get too hung up on this … or the fact that Rodgers has had several choke moments in the playoffs against the 49ers in the Playoffs (just look at his 95.5 passer rating vs. his career rate of 104.5) … we gonna focus on the positive! First: The Packers are 24-12 all time vs. the Forty-Whiners at Lambeau and have won by an average score of 23-19. Second: Let’s compare the 6-3 Road Niner’s with the 8-0 Home Packers: The Packers have 5th best Home Offense vs. the Niner’s 12th best Road Offense (almost 6-point Packers’ advantage)! The Packers have the 2nd Best Home Defense, allowing 16.8 pts/game …vs. the Niner’s at 21.1 on the Road. Net/net the Packers have a 10.0 Point Differential advantage. Throw in 2 or 3 points for Home Field and the Pack should win by 12 points. Mid-week the betting line favored the Pack by 6, reflecting Rodger’s 0-3 record. Third: We have beaten them the last two times we played … which were both at Corduroy Stadium. Fourth: Garoppolo is still their QB. ‘Nuf said. Jimmy G is a “nice” QB … he will probably be in the League for another decade and make a ton of money as a capable backup … but he ain't gonna do squat to win the game. Fifth: San Francisco is worried about the cold. On last week Thursday’s Get Up (seriously … that’s the name of the show), host Dianna Russini revealed that Bills QB Josh Allen doesn’t like playing in the cold due to poor circulation. ESPN talking head and former Ravens and Jets linebacker Bart “Can’t wait!” Scott offered some performance enhancing advice on how to battle the cold ... Viagra. NFL sources have revealed that the 49ers organization has ordered several cases of Viagra and Cialis to prepare for this weekend’s game at Lambeau. Unconfirmed reports from the SF Bay area suggest that the 49ers are working on a new “third leg” silent count. ESPN’s Rob Dipshitsky travelled to the Uranian haven this week to assess the reaction of 49’er fans to the Viagra-Plan. Coach doesn’t care how much sildenafil they ingest, in a tribute to Joe Brown … we are gonna beat the tar out of ‘em. There’s gonna be a lot of this, a lot of that and you’re gonna hear all week about their Front-7 and the Niners running game, blah, blah, blah, blah. (Coach is ready to pop a Zofran because if he hears another question regarding how the Packers can't stop the talented Deebo Samuel, he is going to puke.) Coach doesn’t care, we have a great Offense that now has Cobb, Bakhtiari and Myers back from injury. We have a great Defense (at home) that now has J. Alexander, Z. Smith, and W. Merciless back from injury. We’re gonna limit them to less than 90-yards rushing, we’re gonna pound them with AJ Dillion and A Jones … and #17 will have over 100-yards receiving. The D will hold the Niner’s to the historical 17 points at Lambeau and Rodgers will break his skunk-streak… Packers: 31 40-Whiners: 17 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them As Coach reflects on the great Packers DB play this year (with few notable exceptions), it is also important to not forget and heed the past – particularly the late 70’s when the Packers struggled … REALLY struggled. …Mightily. Few Packers struggled more than perennial WR chaser Estus “Asbestos” Hood, affectionately referred to by deer hunters as Special Golden Estus, and nicknamed “TOAST” (as in frequently burned) by his teammates. In Coach’s high school, if you were playing DB and got torched by a receiver, we called you Estus – and this was long after Hood retired. Back in the day, Monday Night Football was the big game of the week and the Packers were rarely good enough to make an appearance on that venue. However, there are many memories of Howard Cosell’s half time narration of the previous day’s highlights. Inevitably, there would be a kickoff return for a touchdown, or a goal line stand to seal a victory, and always a flashy 80-yard bomb down the sideline to a galloping wide out. When the Packers made that highlight reel, you’d see an opposing receiver prance into the end zone, followed 3 seconds later by good ole Estus. About Hood, Cosell quipped, “Estus has an uncanny instinct for sensing when not to make the move, when not to make the cut. He can be killed with a head fake, killed with the swiftness of his opponents, and the ability to be going the wrong direction at any single second. He is also faked out with any variation of speed.” The Packers’ 3rd round draft choice from Illinois State (Normal, IL) in 1977, Estus Hood went on to log 11 INT’s and one pick-six over his career. Passes-defended data are a little sketchy, but Coach’s steel-trap mind recalls that TD’s given up far exceeded this figure. Honestly, it is shocking Estus Hood continually made the Packers roster for 7 straight years, and played in every game. Mike McCarthy would definitely check the availability box for Estus, but accountability … notsomuch. Even though he made Kevin King look like Deion Sanders, Hood was never cut. He was actually voted "Worst Packer of All Time" by those who were cursed to have witnessed his play. Estus Hood kindly credits his father, Clay, for his longevity and fortitude to not give up despite being the worst athlete on the field each and every week.
Fast forwarding to 2022, with the successful drafting of quick-study Eric Stokes and acquisition of snubbed probowler Rasul Douglas, which has relegated the aforementioned Kevin King to kickoff coverage duties and Gatorade bottles replenishment, we salute you Estus Hood for helping us remember how good we have it today!
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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