Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: …Ron Wolf knew the mastery of timing. …like when to bet the house on a QB (Brett Favre), or when to fire a coach (Ray Rhodes). It’s about being predictive, not reactive. It’s about analyzing leading indicators (if we don’t make a change, we’re not going to win), not lagging ones (we lost another playoff game due to woeful performance, so I will get rid of the coordinator now even though it was an obvious need several weeks ago). Do these names ring a bell … Maurice Drayton? Shawn Mennenga? Mike Pettine? So now we are at a pivotal point for the future of the Green Bay Packers, and I’m convinced Aaron LaFlurphy will probably make the wrong choice… We have 2 options: A) “Play Rodgers” and at best be a potential spoiler to teams seriously in the hunt for the playoffs. This is also known as “Placate Rodgers” to keep him from publicly whining about not being able to play out his last year(s). Since Rodgers is really the de facto Team President and GM anyways, he will ensure his coach insists #12 plays every snap all the way through Game 17. B) “Play Love” from here on out and give the youngster the NFL reps he desperately needs to steepen his learning curve for NFL success. On the surface Option B is the best thing for the Packers, even though it might look like they are not doing everything they can to win every game this year. In reality, Love can’t play much worse than Rodgers (statistically he had a good chance of playing better!), and it’s not like there is any chance to win the Super Bowl this year, so 1265 please don’t pretend the rest of this season is anything more than the 2023 Preseason. That said, Coach reminds you that Packers President (on paper) Mark Murphy has tiny balls when it comes to how things might look, and his tool Matt LaFleur has no balls whatsoever. Therefore, I’m completely confident that Rodgers will play out every game this season, gaining the Packers nothing, and arresting Jordan Love’s development another year. …at least in Coach’s humble opinion. PS Coach reminds you, the loyal reader, that The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! is not published for preseason games, so this might be it for 2022, folks. Sad but true. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up NFL To Provide All Refs Seeing-Eye Dogs ATLANTA, GA — To help improve the accuracy of calls on the field, the National Football League will now provide each referee with a seeing-eye dog. "What'd you see, Fido? Bark twice if there was holding!" yelled Shawn Hochuli at his new service dog. "Good boy. Does the red team still have the ball? Oh crap, I forgot you're colorblind, Fido!" The NFL made the move to provide service dogs as part of a concerted effort to raise the level of officiating. "We are really hoping to reach a point where at least occasionally, a call makes sense," said commissioner Roger Goodell. "It's a big ask of these canines to comprehend the intricacies of what's a 'rub route' and what's 'pass interference', but we feel confident they will be more accurate than our current system of a blind man taking a wild guess. Or, excuse me, a blind woman taking a wild guess." Thus far, the seeing-eye dogs have been welcomed heartily by officials and players alike. "It's a massive improvement already," said Philadelphia quarterback Jalen Hurts. "The dogs at least guide the refs out of the way when play starts - and a couple of the smarter pups have already caught on to 'offsides', and other simple penalties. They've also eliminated those embarrassing moments when the poor referee does the whole penalty announcement facing the wrong direction. Visual impairment is tough, man." At publishing time, Atlanta fans across the nation were reportedly screaming about how Fido is so unbelievably biased against the Falcons. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Here are the worst 5 teams in the NFC, as ranked by the NFL. Last place is at the bottom… Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan Last year, Bucky went to the Axe game ranked #14 and something to play for. They lost miserably 20-23 in OT. This year, they are limping across the finish line unranked and barely bowl eligible. Likewise, Minnesota had a flash of promise in the early going after pummeling MSU, but have settled into steady mediocrity. This year we are back in mid-70’s form with neither team really having anything to play for except pride. Only Iowa, Purdue, and Illinois have a chance to go to Indy. The most important thing on Saturday for Bucky is to atone for the debacle last year. There is no reason they should not win except for the fact that they have trouble stringing together two wins in a row. Hopefully, the D can hold top Goof RB Ibrahim at bay after a 263 yd. outing last week against the stingy Iowa D. Herbig will come out fired up after having to sit out the first half after a BS targeting call last week. We do not hold out a lot of hope for the offense unless Braelon ‘the gimp” has a banner day with ample back up from Mellusi and Guerrendo. Mertz and the receivers have been spotty at best. As for last week’s squeaker against the Cornholers, Mertz was better than the box score or Twitter rants would have you believe. For one, this was the 3rd straight game playing in gusty high winds. This was the second straight game of the OL getting manhandled. The WR’s sucked with 4 drops, led by three by Chimere Dike. Another pass was thrown on target to the TE in the end zone, but the TE wasn't looking for the ball. The pass thrown for the pick hit a wind gust, though we question throwing a pass like that into the wind. Mertz woulda been better off throwing a bullet like he did in Q4 for a TD. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Do you remember 2016? Well, honestly, Coach barely remembers breakfast, let alone a more recent Season either* ... ... after a 4-6 start we beat the Iggles 27-13 and went on a 6-0 run, the “Run the table” year. (*Note: for the record, Coach can remember almost all the games in the 70’s thru the 2010 SB, but more recently they get a bit foggy ... it’s all lost in a blur of “Rodgers is self-centered and the Defensive Coordinator and Special Teams suck, heh?”) All the stats and everything we’ve seen this year says we will git kilt ... but who knows, let’s say the D plays like our talent is supposed to be and Erin Fraudgers pulls his thumb and cranium out of his rectum ... then “why not us?” ... in an “any given Sunday” prediction: Packers 27 Eagles 13 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them Ok, good job remembering 2016. Next, can you remember who wore #4 for the Packers before Brett Favre? At 6'1" 195-lb, Chuck Fusina was a 5th round draft pick (#133 overall) of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the 1979 NFL Draft. He spent his 1st 3 seasons as back-up to Doug Williams. In 1983, he left for the fledgling USFL. Fusina signed with the Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars where he blossomed under coach Jim Mora (Playoffs? Are you kidding me? Playoffs? Playoffs?). In his 3 seasons with that team, he passed for over 10,000 yards and led all USFL quarterbacks with 66 touchdowns and a QB rating of 88.6 and led the Stars to back-to-back USFL titles in 1984 and 1985. He was named MVP of the 1984 USFL Championship Game. When the league folded in August 1986, Fusina returned to the NFL for one last season … with the Green Bay Packers, as the 3rd string QB. In 1986, Forrest Gregg was the coach, and was in process of transitioning the team from a finesse passing squad with Lynn Dickey to a mob of thugs. Randy Wright took over at quarterback and was unimpressive, completing 53% of his passes for 3,247 yards, 17 scores and 23 picks. He was backed up by a has-been Vince Ferragamo (#5), who saw little action, and our featured Fusina – who suited up for 7 games in which he went 19 of 32 (59.4%) for 178 yards, no TD’s and 1 pick. That’s about it.
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Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: I hope you took the Under… “0” was the correct number, despite the over/under betting line being at 2.5 … the number of times Fox would show a closeup of Jerry Jones during the game. The ingoing assumption, of course, was that Jerry Jones would be in the visitor’s luxury box at Lambeau for the big rivalry game on Sunday, but - alas, he did not show up. Why not? That’s a good question, Jimmy, considering we’ve been accustomed to seeing Jones and his big greedy gap-toothed smile with fists raised high whenever the Cowboys score a touchdown. Similarly, we took joy in seeing Jones’ scaley, bug-eyed face buried in his hands at the moment Dallas lost on the last play of the game. Jones has historically been in good favor with the League office because he is viewed (rightly or wrongly) as a revenue-generating machine — even without the aid of pay-for-play sledding hills. Plus, he LOVES the attention, so it’s a sick symbiotic relationship. Then, why no opportunities for closeups of Jerry this go ’round? Well Jimmy, it’s because he is on the NFL’s naughty list for his Halloween escapades. That’s right, Jerry Jones dressed up as a blind referee for Halloween this year and posted it on Facebook. That’s pretty much like asking your boss if that woman standing next to him (his wife) is his hooker. Sure, in some respects it might be accurate, but still -- you don’t do it! … at least, in Coach’s humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme (You may recall that he was thrown out of his stepson’s BB game in 2019 for berating officials.) So, the 2022 Season is saved and we’re going to the Super Bowel!! Alrighty, soze, we’re not in the Playoffs yet, but we are ahead of all the other 4-6 teams! We have a slippery and tenuous tether on 9th place!! {Cue Jim Mora playoff rant.} And … we’re a full game ahead of all of the last place teams, including the 16th place Bears. {OMG … did Coach just say that?} Excitement and anticipation were high all around as Amiz Ramadan lined up to make the Packers opening kick-off and all at once Coach’s buddies said: “who the hell is #17?” Hey guys, Ramadan’s kick wasn’t too bad … “yeah!” … but it was returned to the 40 … “booo!” … Then we held the CowGirls to 3 & out … “yeah!” … but the punt was bobbled by #8 … “boo!!! boo!!!” … the stadium collectively mouthed … chants erupted … “WTF, why is Amarone Rodgers still on the Team, let alone returning punts?!?!?!?” … Then we went on Offense … “yeah!” … but then the guy we used 2 second-round picks to traded-up for dropped two passes in-a-row on our way to killing our promising first drive … “booo!” Then we gave up an 83-yard TD drive after our punt … “boo” … where did the D go? … “boo” … Then Fraudgers was sacked, and he fumbled … “boo!!!” … the assembled faithful were churning in their seats and on the edge of turning on the Pack… ...but Rudy Ford stepped-in and saved the day by intercepted CowGirl Dak in the EZ. Rudy thus prevented a 14-0 zip 1st Qtr. hole that would have started a blowout for the CowGirls and ended the Season for us … “yeah!!!” … Rudy, Rudy, Rudy!! Where, you might ask, did Rudy come from? Well, he was hiding on our roster … another one of Rich Bisaccia’s finds … we just gotta get Beri-Beri out of the way and let Bisaccia be DC (maybe HC). After the pick we got the tutter … “yeah” … and then Rudy got another INT … “yeah” … that set us up on the Girls 24-yard line … “yeah” … and next thing Ya know, we’re up 14-7 … “double yeah!!” … Just when you might start to believe that this 2022 team could be a good one, ST gives up a long KO return … “Boo” … and the D gives up a 66-yd TD in the last two minutes of the 1st Half …. “Double Booo” … 14-14 at the Half. To start the 3rd Qtr. the Offense goes 6 & out on the opening drive … “Booooooo” ... accompanied by a WTF-type-headshake … OK, let’s see what D can do? Three & out …” yeah” … followed by Amarone Rodgers fumbling the subsequent punt, leading to a 48-yd Cowgirls TD. … “booo, kill Amarone Rodgers, WTF, fire Murphy, why are either of them still on the Team? Booo, Booo” … And so it went, back and forth on the field and up & down emotionally … Admit it … when it got to 28-14 in the 4th quarter, it felt bleak to youse at home and likewise to the fair-weather crowd who started to filter out of Lambeau (not Coach, he always stays ‘til the end. BTW, he got some really nice new ice fishing bibs, they were actually too warm in the 20 deg temps). Most of those wimps were newbies who wore light clothes and tennis shoes to the first true cold-weather game of the Season … dumb asses. It gets cold early here. (See also: Berra, Yogi). And then it happened, Erin Fraudgers looked good leading a 14-point come-back to get to a 28-28 tie, but there were a lot of factors involved. Is he fixed? Is he back? Hmm, maybe. What Coach saw gives Coach confidence for the rest of this Season. Confidence also that he will always have the preferred pronouns of he/him/and f-off-if-you-even-look-at-my-pronouns:
The important point? Coach is telling ya what lads … the Savage-pounding-of-the-Slot formation was really fun to watch as he beat the heck out of the CowGirls petite fleur (see last week’s translation lesson) …
Watson looked like Jordy on the fast crosser, this was a staple of the Rodgers to Nelson era in the middle 20-teens. Let’s hope this wasn’t a one hit wonder for Watson. And so it went, back and forth on the field and up and down emotionally as a fan … Without a doubt the Season would have been truly over had we lost, perhaps not mathematically, but emotionally we’d have been toast and the Vets would have begun making Offseason plans. So how do we stack up Coach? At this point we are mediocre to below average in almost every statistical measure, much like the 2007 & 2011 NY Giants. But those Giants Teams went on to beat us on the way to SB Wins both years. That’s just facts … does that mean we are on our way? Hell no Jimmy, are you stupid? No, it means we have a chance to have a chance. Hopefully the Dallas game was the start of a turnaround. The biggest concern is still Petite Fleur. He has no problem with the players disrespecting him in public. At the end of regulation, we pissed-away a chance to win with almost 2:00 minutes left on the clock. You either try to score or run out the clock (a very strange strategy when you have a 4x MVP at QB). Petite Fleur did neither, we ran out of downs and we still left time for Dallas. Frankly Fraudgers had a valid complaint. Petite Fleur had no idea what to call in this situation and Erin is justifiably pissed, but that’s not the point. The point is, the Coach, any Coach, can’t let the inmates run the prison. Try shouting f’bombs at your boss in front of your co-workers tomorrow at work and see how it goes. Coach’s view: While not perfect; the roster is good; the problem is coaching. Murphy will do nothing about this problem because he’s within a couple of years of retirement and Fraudgers dead money on the Cap is high if he retires or is cut. Net/net: we are destined to have Petite Fleurodgers at least thru 2023. Buckle up kids. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Tom Brady Realizes It's Easier To Be Hit By 300-Pound Linemen Than Stay Home All Day With Young Kids The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Bears Protection Scheme Involves O-Line Asking Defense To Go Easy On Jared Field While He’s Going Through Some Stuff CHICAGO—Taking a new approach to better safeguard their quarterback, the Chicago Bears were reportedly using a protection scheme Sunday that involved their offensive line asking the defense to go easy on Jared Field while he’s going through some stuff. “We’re always trying to refine things to make things easier for Jared, which is why we’re having left guard Cody Whitehair pull the defensive linemen aside to fill them in on Jared’s personal issues before the snap,” said Bears head coach Matt Eberflus, adding that he hoped the Detroit Lions defense would refrain from blitzing Field after the offensive line told them the sad story of how he’s struggling with heartbreak. “We’ll have the left tackle pick up any linebackers or safeties and let them know that Jared’s really getting it from all sides right now, he’s not sleeping well, and really the last thing he needs is to get sacked on his blind side. We’re hoping that this new offensive scheme will allow Jared to relax in the pocket and clear his head until he works things out at home.” At press time, Eberflus was scolding Bears wide receiver Darnell Mooney for yelling that he was open, reminding him not to bother Field when the quarterback had so many other things on his plate. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Badgers, Team of Destiny, Shows Who They Are The university of Wisconsin football team is destined for a mediocre finish and a crappy bowl game, at best. Sure, they are not mathematically eliminated from an opportunity to get Kevin Bacon’ed in Indianapolis, but we all know that the chances approach zero when taking into account the fact that the Badgers proved who they are on Saturday, a team that wilts in important games. Not only that, but Illinois must lose to Northwestern. Mertz acted like his bell was rung for most of the game as he scampered away from the onslaught unleashed by the pathetic UW OL. Repeatedly chucking the ball downfield to receivers who were not open and often double-covered compounded matters. When not absorbing hits behind the line of scrimmage, Braelon Allen sought to avoid hits on his injured shoulder by racing for the sideline, ignoring cutback opportunities and chances to gain first downs by turning upfield. The D did OK against a an equally pathetic Hawkeye offense, except for going soft when special teams and the offense presented Iowa with a short field. If it weren’t for the blocked punt, big punt return allowed and a decision to not field a punt, the game woulda been pretty even. As it was, the errant Mertz passes, and crappy special team play sealed the deal for the 5th place Badgers. Big Ten Interim Coach Bowl 2022 The hapless Badgers take an 8 game winning streak and a 13 point spread to Lincoln. The Huskers have QB issues with their main guy out hurt the last 2 games and Chubba Purdy (no, not a made-up name) or Logan Smothers sharing snaps. Their defense ranks last or next to last in several key metrics. Braelon Allen could rack up 150 yards without taking a hit and Graham Mertz could complete 20 passes in a row without taking a sack. Bucky rolls, 42-7. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Like a lot of the new Expansion Teams in the AFL, the Pack has not played the Nashville Oilers very often. Unfortunately, our bad teams of the 70’s and 80’s gives us a 6-7 record all-time, dating back to their vagabonds’ origins in Houston, then Memphis, now Nashville. We’re 2-2 in the Fraudgers’ era, with both teams winning at home and the Pack averaging a 48-11 win in the two games played at Lambeau. However, ... the stats don’t look as rosy this year and they don’t point to a 35+ point blowout (N.S. Sherlock). The Oilers are leading the AFC South, but so what? The Nashville Oilers could easily be the poster child for NFL mediocrity. No team is completely horrendous (well, maybe the last place Bears) and no team is completely good. Their QB is Ryan Tannehill … and he’s a good system QB. When Petite Fleur was there and his Coach, he was good … and he still is “good”. Derrick Henry was a great / is a “really good” running back, but his avg yds/carry is behind both A Jones and Quadzilla. We held Derrick Henry under 100 yds rushing when we beat the Oilers 40-14 in 2020. They have a buncha receivers and some are above average … but nobody that scares you. We’re about matched on O (24th & 25th ranking respectively). Their Defense is ranked #8 vas. Our #16, but they are giving up almost 19 pts/game so maybe they won’t be a big problem. We are going to win this game for one reason and one reason only, Rudy Ford will make 23 interceptions and return 21 of them for touchdowns. OK, a bit more seriously. Rudy Ford looks to be a leader on Defense, something we haven’t had since Zilarious Smith was active in 2020. He’s the Rasul to your Damarious Randal. He may not intercept another ball in 2022, but he’ll be on the field and he’s a leader. Yes, the math says we’re close to being out of contention to win the Norris Division this year, but we are not out of it yet!! Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? No!! dammit!! And we're not going to give up now! We’re going to drive the Death Mobile at ramming speed and we’re gonna put some fear into the rest of the NFL. Packers 38 Titans 17 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them Coach realizes that many of you will enter the woods with a weapon for the first time this year on Saturday, with it being opening day of the gun deer season and all. And, although Coach has at least 2-weeks’ worth of all day sits in full camo logged with his new bow in the tree stand, he is excited for another chance to bag a buck with his daunting bolt action 30-06 and high vis blaze orange Elmer Fudd ear-flap hat. So let’s bag a couple of bucks, boys… 1923, 100 seasons ago, was the first season for which we have reliable unofficial statistics. Although the NFL did not begin to formally compile basic stats until 1932, the Press-Gazette accounts were complete for all 10 Packer games in 1923.
Fullback Buck Gavin was second in rushing behind Curly Lambeau that year. Gavin actually played in the Packers backfield both in 1921 and in 1923. Buck did not go to college, as he was the LeBron James of the NFL in those days. Well, maybe not LeBron good, but credibly LeBron dumb. Tackle Cub Buck led the team with 88 punts and in scoring by converting 5 of 8 PATs and 6 of 16 field goals (ouch). Buck also completed 8 of 11 passes, no doubt from punt formation. Green Bay finished 3rd in the 20-team league that year, tied with the Milwaukee Badgers whom they beat twice. Green Bay scored 85 points and gave up just 34, throwing seven shutouts that season. Green Bay’s road victory over the St. Louis All-Stars on November 4 represented the team’s longest ever road trip to that point, nearly 500 miles. The Press-Gazette began naming an All-Pro team for football in 1923, too. Curly Lambeau was named to the second team and Cub Buck to the third. So this week we salute a couple of Bucks from 100 years ago, and good luck out there this weekend, fellas -- you never know what might come your way! Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: …I feel sorry for the horse. Metaphorically speaking, Cowboys fans are the horse holding up the peculiar duo of the Dallas NFL franchise’s faces (neither of whom are actually from Texas), Jerry Jones and Mike McCarthy. Cowboys fans are very different from regular NFL fans, or from regular Texans for that matter, because they are blind to reality. No matter how much their team sucks, they still believe the Cowboys should receive accolades of a top tier NFL football team. They are the Notre Dame of professional football (ranked #6 before the season started, now at #20). At least Bears and Lions fans know when to hide from sunlight for decades on end. It’s been over a quarter century since the last time the Cowboys were in the Super Bowl. Still, they dole out approximately $10,000 per seat license fee (just for the right to buy season tickets), and pay an average ticket price of $726 which is the League high before secondary market scalping (Raiders tickets go for the highest price on the secondary market, followed by the Bucs, Broncos, Pats, and Packers – note that Dallas does not even make the top 5 in secondary market prices, because they do not bring in many visitors to that “glorious” stadium we hear so much about). “So what about it, Coach, I mean … what’s your point?” My point is that Dallas Cowboys fans are pathetic. And, like most pathetic groups of people, they need self-affirmation to make them feel better about themselves when in reality there isn’t reason to; the classic tactics include putting others down (see also, Skip Bayless), or constantly trying to convince others of their greatness (“Let’s call ourselves ‘America’s Team’ because then people will have to be on our side or they’re un-American!”). Although Jerry Jones thankfully does not do the former, he is infamously preoccupied with the latter. Which leads me to my final thought on the matter… Mike McCarthy must not be a Cowboys fan. Despite the pressures of being Jones’ right-hand-man, and being on the proverbial chopping block with Sean Payton looming in the “ready for fire” on-deck circle, McCarthy carries himself with a gentlemanly class, avoiding any opportunity to denigrate others. Nor does he crave the camera eye, speaking practiced lines meant to impress NFL minions as if he is some sort of football sage. Nope, he’s pretty much the same guy that grew up in Pittsburgh, had a decent run in Green Bay, kept his head up when failing to evolve with NFL whippersnappers, and now is treading water in Dallas. … at least, in Coach’s humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Hold on to your tookess … we are now the worst ranked Team in the NFL, according to at least one guy on the Interweb. We scored 9 points against the 32nd ranked Defense. Coach, what happened? Jimmy, let’s start with what Coach predicted last week (go back and check, it’s only a dozen thumb scrolls down from here) Mason Crosby is gonna have another field goal palooza in Detroit on Sunday. Packers 22 (5 FG & a TD) Spartans 17 Coach was off by two points. You know, Jimmy, if we had a qualified NFL Head Coach, you know, one who made decisions during the game, we would have scored exactly 22 points … to the Lions 15. 22 points … let Coach count the waze … oh yeah, it’s simple … you’ve been struggling on offense and you’re playing the worst Defense in the NFL … and you pass up easy scoring chances for FG’s because you want to make a point. To the drive chart … The point is not only that Coach is very smart, but the point is also that we could all see the game from a hundred miles away. On the road? Tough season? Need a win? Take the f’ng points. Yes, you made a point Fraudgers. You said you wanted to pass the ball and you did. You made bad pass after bad pass… … none worse than this underthrow of Toure that would have been a certain TD. Is Erin washed up? Maybe. Is the thumb hurting more than she lets on? Probably. But the objective in not to pass the ball, the objective is to win the game. The game can be summarized on one play, one play that it is the metaphor for the game, one play that is the metaphor for the entire season and the same play that is a summary of what’s always been wrong with the Rodgers-led-Packers. Aside from the stupidity of throwing to your best buddy and BFF, an injured tackle, rather than hand it off or pass to an actual receiver on 4th & Goal from the 7” line … you pass off your back foot while falling down and literally underthrow a 7 inch pass by 10 yards. The hell of it is, the D and Special Teams played well enough to win this game. Coach is going to totally skip stats this week, because they don’t tell you a damn thing about the game, all you need to know is: Coach’s key insight: “There is no in ‘I’ in ‘Team’” Wayyyt, whhaatt? The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say ‘I’. And that’s not because they have trained themselves not to say ‘I’. They don’t think ‘I’. They think ‘we’; they think ‘team’. They understand their job to be to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don’t sidestep it, but ‘we’ gets the credit…. This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done. - Peter Drucker Coach counted 241 uses of the word “I” and 3 uses of the word “we” by Erin Fraudgers in his post-game comments. It’s obvious that the self-absorbed, petulant, asshole is turning off his teammates by his use of the first person singular to explain the actions of 11 men on the field who are trying to work as a team. “I have to throw the ball to win” Coach: No. Erin, to win you must not turn over the ball” You only need to see Fraudger’s reaction on the field to see his true character revealed … he is not solving the problems of this team, he is the problem. … even pop-culture icon Lil Wayne thinks Erin Fraudgers is the problem … Coach, but really, what is going on? Jimmy, honestly Coach is getting tired of explaining this. Just scroll down to the Redskins Game summary … ooopps, can’t say Redskins … scroll down to the Washington Custodians game summary and look for the graphic below … it explains it all. The problem is that Fraudgers is now running the team, and he can control everyone, except himself. Recently Erin Fraudgers said: “Guys who are making too many mistakes shouldn’t be playing. Gotta start cutting some reps." Coach totally agrees with Fraudgers on this point … Fraudgers needs to get fewer reps. So what about the guy listed as Head Coach? Jimmy? Did you ever wonder what Petite Fleur means? Jimmy, c'est l'heure d'un petit cours de français… “If our coach wasn’t such a Petite Fleur, he would grow a pair and bench the self-absorbed, petulant, asshole that is playing QB until he pulled his head out of his rectum.” Good Jimmy, you’re doing great, you’ll be speaking fluent French in no time. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Skip Bayless Reminds Viewers Gas Never Hit $5 Per Gallon During Troy Aikman’s Era LOS ANGELES—Declaring that fans would “never again” see a comparable player or prices, Skip Bayless reminded viewers Monday that gas never hit $5 per gallon during the Troy Aikman era. “When Aikman captured his first title, you could fill up your entire car for $19—I’m talking the entire tank for under 20 bucks,” said Bayless, who scoffed at co-host Shannon Sharpe’s assertion that he was completely overlooking the 1990 oil crisis that caused widespread sticker shock at the pumps following the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. “$1.06 in 1998. Can you believe that? Back when Aikman was the most dominant quarterback in the NFL, you could afford to fill up your entire tank of gas, and grab a snack for the road. Face the facts!” At press time, Bayless added he wouldn’t even consider placing Aaron Rodgers in his top five of all time considering the rising price of meat. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Da Bears lost again, this time at home to the Dolphins. I mean, how can you be worse than the Packers this year? Even their really intimidating blowup bear thingy popped. Somehow, they just find a way… the Bears still suck. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Heartland Trophy at Stake After a decisive shellacking of another opponent with a deceptively good record last Saturday, Bucky takes on the ascendant Iowa Hawkeyes this week. Sure, they have super sucky offensive stats this year, 111th out of 131 teams at 18.5 points per game. The OL has been quite the turnstile, averaging 3 sacks a game and a high volume of hurries. Herbig and Benton are licking their chops. Too bad this is Bucky’s weakest pass rush in years. Hawkeye play calling has been even less creative than the wafer-thin playbook predictable down & distance patterns that led to Paul Chryst’s ouster. Like Wisconsin, the Hogeyes had a couple of feelgood games against Purdon’t and the Mildcats the last two weeks as fans were threatening mutiny. Somewhat scary RB Kaleb Johnson had 200 yards rushing last week, but don’t lose sleep over that. One-dimensional offenses with an inability to pass the ball are the easiest to shut down for any defense with a pulse. Iowa will be disproportionately targeting the tight ends. Please cover them, as we have left them running free over the middle of the field the last several times we have played them. With two key starters in our secondary now back and making a difference, we like our chances of snuffing out any hint of an Iowa passing attack and stuffing their run. Maybe we will pick up some coverage sacks and better yet, turnovers. By comparison, the Badgers average of 29.9 points per game, giving us an 11.4 point advantage on O. Despite last week’s gale force winds, intermittent rain and foolish multiple attempts to heave 50/50 balls deep into the wind/rain to receivers who had no interest fighting for the ball, Mertz ranks 16th in the country in yards/attempt--one of the best passing efficiency metrics. Even crazier, he's 8th in yards/completion. He excels at throwing to receivers who are open and does also throw good passes into tight spaces that subsequently get dropped. Too bad his stats don’t reflect even more how well he has played this season. Don’t expect much separation vs. Iowa’s secondary and our weak-handed receivers will lose every 60/40 battle for the ball. Our OL is as intact as it has been all year. Saturday would be a good time for taking the next step in their progression. Two areas of concern on offense are continued pre-snap penalties vs. Iowa’s much higher level of penalty discipline and the health of Braelon Allen. Allen has been running out of bounds and avoiding contact since early in the conference season. Over the last 3 games plus, he has exited with a stinger or other shoulder injury. Following a bye week of recovery, he reinjured the shoulder last week and returned to the game only to tweak it again while going down gently out of bounds. He does not show up in the injury report, but don’t be surprised if he is a late scratch or fails to finish the season. He ain’t right and will not be initiating collisions with Iowa defenders. On D, Iowa is physical and disciplined. They are 6th nationally at 14.3 points allowed per game. Expect a grinder with both passing attacks being limited. Bucky is allowing 23.1 points per game for 51st, yielding a 9.8-point advantage for the Hogeyes. The averages only partially reflect the improvement in Bucky’s secondary the last two weeks. The reality is that both defenses are comparable. On special teams, Iowa has a crazy good punter. He’s like some modern day Pat O’Day, also from Australia. He has an uncanny ability to place the ball inside the 20 with 23 of his 55 punts landing there. It’s a bit of a wash, as our punter is also really good too and would probably win the arm-wrestling contest. And now, a word from our sponsor. Whew! OK, we’re back. Here at BU, we are not sure if coach’s astute analysis holds, but we will give it a try. This intensive analysis plus 2 points for home field gives a razor thin 0.4 points for the other side. Bah! BU says turnovers will determine the winner of this game. Look for Bucky to come out on top, 20-17. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game What (you may ask) does Roman Economic Policy have to do with the Packers? Absolutely nothing. The point is that now that “we” have been mathematically made the punch line of NFL jokes, you have more time to read National Geographic than at any point you since 1991, courtesy of Petite Fleur and his boss, Erin Fraudgers. Aside from how you feel about the performance on the field, this puts the financial viability and future of the franchise in danger. Coach, isn’t that a bit of hyperbole? What do you mean it puts the franchise in danger? Jimmy, look at all dat real estate over to da West a Lambeau. Over dare where da Shopko and Red Lobster whaz. Youse tink anybody gonna buy up dem milon dollar condiments when we’ze 5-12? Youse tink dare aint no debt dare? Hold on ta yer deer tag, the exit wind from all dose private jets getting’ da hell outta here is gonna be really strong. If we don’t stay at the top of the NFL, all that accumulated debt is gonna sink the franchise. That’s right, Murphy the financial genius, better have a pretty gol darn good plan to cover the debt on all a dem empty condo’s where the tumble weeds are starting to grow now … On to this week, how will we beat the Cowgirls? Well, we won’t if we only go by statistics. They have a better ranked Offense, a better ranked Defense, a better ranked Special Teams and have the 4th ranked point differential to our 25th ranking. Even giving us two points for playing at home, the margin should be something like an 8-point Cowgirls win. But why then is Vegas only giving us 4 ½ points? 3) Even with all our injuries, we have a better roster, if we can only get out of our own way. 2) We have won 8 out of the 10 games we’ve played against the Cowgirls in the Fraudgers era. 1) They have Melissa McCarthy Because Coach is contractually required to predict a win: Packers 16 Cowgirls 15 Coach recommends putting duct tape on the kids’ college account piggy bank … JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them Well congrats to former Packers center, Jeff Saturday, who on Monday was named interim head coach of the Indianapolis Colts. Saturday spent his final season as an NFL player in Green Bay. Though Saturday was elected to the Pro Bowl by fans, he was not the best version of himself in 2012 and appeared to have lost a bit of his physical ability. He was replaced at center by Evan Dietrich-Smith late in the season. Fortunately, Saturday will not be remembered for that, but instead for his spectacular seasons in Indianapolis. Saturday had an illustrious 13-year stint as the Colts center, getting his nuts smashed by the top surface of Peyton Manning’s right hand. Manning eventually went exclusively into the Omaha shotgun formation – purportedly meant to enable a quick audible into the hurry-up offense, but ultimately it ended up extending Saturday’s career. Jeff made the Pro Bowl six times and won one Super Bowl with the Indianapolis Colts … and now he’s their head coach.
...Which got Coach to thinking, “What other former Packers players were also NFL head coaches?” Can you name the other five? Ok, 1st, the easy ones … Curly Lambeau, Bart Starr, and Forrest Gregg, duh. Now, another player from the Lombardi era, Jim Ringo! He had a less than stellar stint with Buffalo in 1977 (he went 3-11 and got fired, see also 2022 Green Bay Packers former head coach Matt LaFleur). And finally, hiding in plain sight, Doug Pederson! He won a Super Bowl as Favre’s backup, another ring as the Eagle head coach, and now he is turning around a pesky Jacksonville Jaguars team. So, yeah, congrats to Jeff Saturday (and Doug Pederson). |
Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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