Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: Aaron Rodgers is kinduva dick… Yes Rodgers, No Rodgers, Yes Rodgers, No Rodgers … yada, yada, yada … whadda disgusting Off-Season. Aaron Rodgers is a great passer and gives us a good shot at getting to a Conference Championship. He’s also a complicated douchebag. “Last Dance?” I’m sorry, Rodgers was 1-4 in NFC Championship Games on his way to a 1-0 Super Bowl record. He’s no Michael Jordan. Let Rodgers get to 4 or 5 SB wins and then he can talk about last his “Last Dance Season.” Until then he can shut TF up. For a supposedly “smart” guy, he knows nothing about roster building in the NFL or how the salary cap works (You want MORE top players? Then you gotta give up YOUR top salary – which you explicitly did not. It's really that simple.). …and if he doesn’t respect Packers management, why did he get engaged to Mark Murphy’s daughter? Oh, and publicly suggesting he wants to recruit different receivers for the team because it affects his job is kinduva dick move. He calls himself a leader, but how does that dick move affect his current receivers? A-Rod's choke in the NFC Championship game was not THEIR fault. It’s like Margaret Thatcher said: “Being a leader is like being a lady; if you have to tell people you are one, you aren’t.” So thanks to A-Rod (the A is for "Ass" now) for graciously coming back to the team this year, despite how awful it must be for him (because, as he says, it’s not like people want to come to Green Bay). Or he can fuck off, either way is fine with me. Quite frankly I can do without his practiced-in-the-mirror lines of self-awareness insight that he recites without err when the mic is on (for example, and ironically, "There's wisdom in silence" -- Ooooooo!). But, since he is here, he better bring the Lombardi trophy back home by playing well and improving the play of all the others around him, because his “beautiful mystery” strategy has backfired and nobody wants to hear him talk about anything other than how great it felt to win another Super Bowl in Green Bay. Oh, and here’s a tip for the Big A: finding yourself through juice cleansing and perineal sun tanning with your girlfriend does not an NFL Champion make. …at least, in my humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Coach is relatively optimistic about 2021 … let’s go through why he feels that way. The table below shows the Defensive Points Allowed and Ranking for 2019 and 2020 and the same for Offensive Points Scored. Obviously going 13-3 two years in a row means we had a good team and there is a lot of green in the chart. But … will we be … Better or Worse in 2021? Roster? Better! Gooty went all in on keeping the 2020 Team together for 2021, and arguably we have the best draft class in several years (more analysis on this point in the weeks to come). Gutey got a lot of unwarranted criticism from Erin R. during the Offseason, but Coach gives him high marks for everything he’s done to make the 2021 Roster better than the 2020 Roster. He also fired the can’t-punt-or-tackle-never-utter-his-shameful-name-again punter. (You know, the guy that could easily outkick coverage and could be counted on for a shank when the game is on the line.) Gooty replaced him with Corey Bojorquez. Borky was the NFL leading punter in Buffalo last year and was a salary cap casualty (to the Pack via the Rams). Trust me kids, this will make a positive difference of one or two more wins this year. The two biggest unknowns on the roster are the new Defensive Coordinator, Joe Barry and the new Special Teams Coordinator, Maurice Drayton. Offense? Better. Everyone is back from the No. 1 Offense in 2020, including Erin Rodgers. He purportedly is among the best Throwers-of-the-Football ever, and camp reports suggest he is still very accurate. Erin, now it’s up to you to prove in 2021 that you are also among the best Quarterbacks ever. Until then, shut up cupcake and go win championships. We’re in Year 3 of the LaFleur Offense. We lost All-Pro Center Corey Linsley and Bakhtiari is on the PUP list (so he won’t be back until game 7 or 8), but we have a great OL Coach. We have the softer part of the schedule to start which will allow OL Coach Adam Stenavich to get the new boys in line (no pun intended). Coach Predicts 33 pts/gm average for the Regular Season Defense? Better (??) All of the Defensive Assistant Coaches are back and we picked up a real Inside Linebacker in De’Vondre Campbell, which argues for incremental improvement over the No. 9 scoring Defense in 2020. But … we also have a new Defensive Coordinator, Joe Barry. But what is Barry’s track record in his previous four previous seasons as a DC? 2007 & 2008 Lions 2015 & 2016 Redskins Joe has been lauded as running the “Vic Fangio Defense” (great!), but it’s not much different than Last Year’s Coach Poutine (huh)! Early reports are that Barry is liked by the players. Yes, and your point is? Well hopefully being motivated translates to good defense. Somebody smarter than me will have to translate all of that into why that made him a good DC candidate. All Coach knows is that Barry’s track record is not good yet LaFleur is very high on him. At the time of this writing Coach cannot confirm the rumors that Barry has compromising photos of LaFleur. Special Teams? Who the hell knows? We have been bad on ST forever (except for Crosby “keekin’ touchdins”) … and … we looked awful in the 2021 Preseason. I guess the most positive things you can say are that we fired Meningitis (the previous slug/ST Coach), and we signed a new punter. “Drayton’s track record” you ask... What did the Packers see in Drayton? Per the GBP website:
LaFleur in 2021? Better. We have enough of a track record that we can start to look at how he’s done so far. LaFleur is good and he’s learning from his mistakes, so he should continue to improve. Fleur’s 26 Regular Season Wins puts him at 2nd all-time on the all-time NFL Coaching list for “best-record-in-his-first-two-seasons” (after George Seifert’s 28 and ahead of Steve Mariucci’s 25 …neither of which are now considered superior coaches). LaFleur’s accomplishment is diminished by some because he has Rodgers. But recall, Siefert inherited a loaded, Super Bowl winning roster from Bill Walsh that was QB’d by Joe Montana. On the other hand, LaFleur inherited a team that was in disarray and went 6-9-1 under Melissa McCarthy and Joe Philbin. LaFleur has done a masterful job in turning around the culture of the Pack. Another criticism that’s been leveled at LaFleur’s record is that “he didn’t play anybody.” There is some truth to that argument. In 2019 we had the 19th hardest schedule and in 2020 we had the 21st hardest schedule* On-the-other-hand … when you beat your divisional opponents twice, your opponents’ “strength” is bound to take a hit. And, of course, using the “Pythagorean Predicted Wins” formula, we won more games than predicted. In 2019 we won 13 games vs. 10.5 predicted and in 2020 we won 13 vs. 12.2 predicted. (See previous installments of The Show!!! for details; the predictions are based on Offensive Points Scored and Defensive Points Allowed). In his first two seasons, LaFleur brought home more wins than we “should have had.” We’ll see how this plays out in the 2021 Season where we will have the 4th hardest schedule (as measured by Opponents 2020 W/L record). It’s also interesting to note that at the 2021 Packer Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony (for Charles Woodson and Al Harris), everyone who spoke mentioned the positive impact of LaFleur on the Packers. LaFleur was not on the program, nor did he speak, yet all the various speakers mentioned him. 2021 Prediction? 13-4 Barring injuries that remove key starters for a significant number of games (in addition to David Bakhtiari), LaFleur will coach the Packers to a 13-4 regular season record and he will overtake George Seifert for the best 3-year start in NFL history. LaFleur has been on an upward trajectory in his first three years as an NFL HC, George Seifert was on a downward trajectory. Fittingly, LaFleur will win the NFC North, the NFC Conference and Super Bowl Championships. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up ‘It’s Him Or Me,’ Says Unhinged Aaron Rodgers Demanding Packers Fire Team Custodian ASHWAUBENON, WI—Threatening to test the trade market if the front office didn’t intervene, a visibly unhinged Aaron Rodgers told Packers brass Wednesday that it was “him or me” in reference to team custodian Glen Pardlo. Pardlo, employed at 1265 Lombardi Avenue since 1995, has two Super Bowl rings. “I can’t let another season go by without getting help cleaning up around here,” said the reigning NFL MVP, who has reportedly been at odds with the custodian since taking over as the Packers’ starting quarterback in 2008. “The front office just isn’t giving me enough protection when you look at the scraps on the field. I’m a real attention-to-detail guy, so it just tears me up to work with someone who’s so careless. I need to have a janitor I can trust, and the franchise has repeatedly failed to invest in this position. It’s been a long time coming with me and Pardlo. I’m at the end of my rope.” At press time, Rodgers fueled trade rumors by following the Broncos’ custodial staff on Instagram.. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Bears Training Camp Marred By Players Engaging In Questionable Moonlighting Gig CHIGAGO—Remember when training camp controversy meant a couple of backup linemen battled a little too long after the whistle? Well, in Chicago, those days were the good times. The salary cap plummet has forced Bears execs to watch top talent like CB Kyle Fuller and DT Roy Robertson-Harris go to other teams. And the reach of Bears management tightening their purse strings has affected the guys much farther down the depth chart, too. According to anonymous sources, “more than a few” unnamed Bears players have had to resort to the adult film industry just to make ends meet. “Sure, it’s an embarrassment,” said President and CEO of Chicago Bears Football Operations, Ted Phillips, “but it’s the reality of the game today. At least it is in this town anyway.” Phillips went on to say that “Although technically not illegal, gay porn is not something the Bears generally promote nor condone, uh, publicly.” When asked for his thoughts on teammates ostensibly baring it all for extra cash, Chicago’s top draft pick Justin Field exclaimed, “They get paid for that? Damn, I thought it was like a rookie hazing thing.” Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Bucky Sucks in the Red Zone, Loses to Penn State Looking at the gaudy stats, one might think Wisconsin won going away. 2:1 in time of possession! More yards gained, especially on the ground! The D gave up only 16 points. But jeesh, WTF happened to the usually stout O-line? Mertz is now sporting a 18.5 QB rating that would make Jay Cutler blush. For all the talk of offseason improvements, he looked like the same old Graham that we saw last year after the Illinois opener. Three trips inside the 10-yard line yielded ZERO points:
Progress was noted, however, as Mertz did not have to run to the sideline to get the play from new offensive coordinator Paul “The Gunslinger” Chryst. You can’t blame Paul Chryst, however, for not wanting to show his cards with Eastern Michigan lurking. Hats off to Penn State for executing a winning game plan on both sides of the LOS. Coach James Franklin presented game balls post-game to Scott Nelson on offense and Graham Mertz on defense. Sooo, Bucky gets a tune up game against Eastern Michigan Eagles (point spread 27) and then a bye to get ready for Notre Dame. Speaking of Notre Dame, guess where Badger QB Jack Coan landed? Jackie passed for over 300 yards and 4 TD en route to an OT win for the Irish over Florida State. Remember where you were and the smile that crossed your face upon learning that Jack Coan broke his foot late in camp last August? While we at the BU are hoping for a miraculous turnaround by the Badger squad, we just do not see anything good happening at Soldier’s Fields in a few weeks. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game We have a better roster… We have a better team… We will be playing at a Pro-Packer venue… We have a better QB statistically… We have a better QB ethically and morally… Pro-Packer Venue Beware the overconfidence we had against the LA Chargers in 2018. The OL partied all night and it showed on a hot Los Angeles day, let’s hope the lads are all tucked in by 9:00 pm EDT the night before the game. We are 1-3 in Jacksonville (against the Jags), but we usually have had a pro-Packer crowd, but never seem to be able to overcome the heat. ...or in Nashville. ...or in Phoenix. (I already mentioned L.A.) Never-the-less … we will prevail this time … hydration my son, hydration. Better QB The Saints QB, former #1 overall draft pick Jameis Winston, is nowhere close to Erin Rodgers on a statistical basis nor on the “eyeball test.” Winston did not play much last year, but he was a turnover machine in Tampa Bay while taking the team up and down the field. On any given Sunday Winston might play well, and we don’t know if Sean Payton has fixed the turnover problem, but count on Winston to chuck up a few picks. A bigger challenge for Payton is to fix the character of Winston. While busy winning a Heisman Trophy at Florida State, Jameis Winston was arrested for stealing crab legs from a Publix supermarket. Of course, it's not Winston's first brush with the law -- he was also investigated for allegedly raping an FSU student. Ironically, in both instances he got crabs. In his only game against the Pack, he was 21-of-32 passing for 270 yards and two touchdowns in a 26-20 loss to the Brett Hundley-led Packers on Dec. 3, 2019. In the end, character does matter, and he will not beat the Packers. Packers 33 Saints 24 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them With my new favorite Brewers player being number 27, Willy Adames, that name kinda rang a bell to me … like I had watched another great athlete with a similar name and number, perhaps long ago... Sure shit, I did! So we kick of this season's look back at Packers of yore by saluting number 28, a cornerback from San Diego State: Willie Buchanon! Willie B. played for Green Bay from 1972-78, when Coach was a wee lad and the Packers went a paltry 42-55-3. No pressure Eric Stokes, but Willie Buchanon became a starter as a rookie and was called the best cornerback to enter the NFL in a generation. Selected by Green Bay in the 1st round, the 7th overall pick was the 1972 NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year. Buchanon was a 2-time Pro Bowler, was an All-Pro in 1978, and was named to the Green Bay Packers All-Time team (of course, he is also in the hallowed Packers Hall of Fame). Willie had 28 picks total in his career, with 2 returned for touchdowns! He also recovered 15 fumbles! In 1978, the Packers defensive back led the NFC with 9 interceptions, including FOUR on September 24, 1978 against the San Diego Chargers that tied him for the still-standing NFL record for most interceptions in a game. The Chargers were so impressed, they traded for him the following year. In 1981, he tied another all-time NFL record – this time playing for San Diego: most fumble recoveries in a game (4)! Buchanon was an Oceanside, CA native, so it was a natural fit for him to finish out his career near home … presumably to spend more quiet time with family. So this week we salute you, Willie Buchanon, for being all that you were cracked up to be coming out of college, and providing young lads like myself some vivid examples of excellence despite being surrounded by lesser talent in that 70’s shitshow.
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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