Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: I hope you took the Under… “0” was the correct number, despite the over/under betting line being at 2.5 … the number of times Fox would show a closeup of Jerry Jones during the game. The ingoing assumption, of course, was that Jerry Jones would be in the visitor’s luxury box at Lambeau for the big rivalry game on Sunday, but - alas, he did not show up. Why not? That’s a good question, Jimmy, considering we’ve been accustomed to seeing Jones and his big greedy gap-toothed smile with fists raised high whenever the Cowboys score a touchdown. Similarly, we took joy in seeing Jones’ scaley, bug-eyed face buried in his hands at the moment Dallas lost on the last play of the game. Jones has historically been in good favor with the League office because he is viewed (rightly or wrongly) as a revenue-generating machine — even without the aid of pay-for-play sledding hills. Plus, he LOVES the attention, so it’s a sick symbiotic relationship. Then, why no opportunities for closeups of Jerry this go ’round? Well Jimmy, it’s because he is on the NFL’s naughty list for his Halloween escapades. That’s right, Jerry Jones dressed up as a blind referee for Halloween this year and posted it on Facebook. That’s pretty much like asking your boss if that woman standing next to him (his wife) is his hooker. Sure, in some respects it might be accurate, but still -- you don’t do it! … at least, in Coach’s humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme (You may recall that he was thrown out of his stepson’s BB game in 2019 for berating officials.) So, the 2022 Season is saved and we’re going to the Super Bowel!! Alrighty, soze, we’re not in the Playoffs yet, but we are ahead of all the other 4-6 teams! We have a slippery and tenuous tether on 9th place!! {Cue Jim Mora playoff rant.} And … we’re a full game ahead of all of the last place teams, including the 16th place Bears. {OMG … did Coach just say that?} Excitement and anticipation were high all around as Amiz Ramadan lined up to make the Packers opening kick-off and all at once Coach’s buddies said: “who the hell is #17?” Hey guys, Ramadan’s kick wasn’t too bad … “yeah!” … but it was returned to the 40 … “booo!” … Then we held the CowGirls to 3 & out … “yeah!” … but the punt was bobbled by #8 … “boo!!! boo!!!” … the stadium collectively mouthed … chants erupted … “WTF, why is Amarone Rodgers still on the Team, let alone returning punts?!?!?!?” … Then we went on Offense … “yeah!” … but then the guy we used 2 second-round picks to traded-up for dropped two passes in-a-row on our way to killing our promising first drive … “booo!” Then we gave up an 83-yard TD drive after our punt … “boo” … where did the D go? … “boo” … Then Fraudgers was sacked, and he fumbled … “boo!!!” … the assembled faithful were churning in their seats and on the edge of turning on the Pack… ...but Rudy Ford stepped-in and saved the day by intercepted CowGirl Dak in the EZ. Rudy thus prevented a 14-0 zip 1st Qtr. hole that would have started a blowout for the CowGirls and ended the Season for us … “yeah!!!” … Rudy, Rudy, Rudy!! Where, you might ask, did Rudy come from? Well, he was hiding on our roster … another one of Rich Bisaccia’s finds … we just gotta get Beri-Beri out of the way and let Bisaccia be DC (maybe HC). After the pick we got the tutter … “yeah” … and then Rudy got another INT … “yeah” … that set us up on the Girls 24-yard line … “yeah” … and next thing Ya know, we’re up 14-7 … “double yeah!!” … Just when you might start to believe that this 2022 team could be a good one, ST gives up a long KO return … “Boo” … and the D gives up a 66-yd TD in the last two minutes of the 1st Half …. “Double Booo” … 14-14 at the Half. To start the 3rd Qtr. the Offense goes 6 & out on the opening drive … “Booooooo” ... accompanied by a WTF-type-headshake … OK, let’s see what D can do? Three & out …” yeah” … followed by Amarone Rodgers fumbling the subsequent punt, leading to a 48-yd Cowgirls TD. … “booo, kill Amarone Rodgers, WTF, fire Murphy, why are either of them still on the Team? Booo, Booo” … And so it went, back and forth on the field and up & down emotionally … Admit it … when it got to 28-14 in the 4th quarter, it felt bleak to youse at home and likewise to the fair-weather crowd who started to filter out of Lambeau (not Coach, he always stays ‘til the end. BTW, he got some really nice new ice fishing bibs, they were actually too warm in the 20 deg temps). Most of those wimps were newbies who wore light clothes and tennis shoes to the first true cold-weather game of the Season … dumb asses. It gets cold early here. (See also: Berra, Yogi). And then it happened, Erin Fraudgers looked good leading a 14-point come-back to get to a 28-28 tie, but there were a lot of factors involved. Is he fixed? Is he back? Hmm, maybe. What Coach saw gives Coach confidence for the rest of this Season. Confidence also that he will always have the preferred pronouns of he/him/and f-off-if-you-even-look-at-my-pronouns:
The important point? Coach is telling ya what lads … the Savage-pounding-of-the-Slot formation was really fun to watch as he beat the heck out of the CowGirls petite fleur (see last week’s translation lesson) …
Watson looked like Jordy on the fast crosser, this was a staple of the Rodgers to Nelson era in the middle 20-teens. Let’s hope this wasn’t a one hit wonder for Watson. And so it went, back and forth on the field and up and down emotionally as a fan … Without a doubt the Season would have been truly over had we lost, perhaps not mathematically, but emotionally we’d have been toast and the Vets would have begun making Offseason plans. So how do we stack up Coach? At this point we are mediocre to below average in almost every statistical measure, much like the 2007 & 2011 NY Giants. But those Giants Teams went on to beat us on the way to SB Wins both years. That’s just facts … does that mean we are on our way? Hell no Jimmy, are you stupid? No, it means we have a chance to have a chance. Hopefully the Dallas game was the start of a turnaround. The biggest concern is still Petite Fleur. He has no problem with the players disrespecting him in public. At the end of regulation, we pissed-away a chance to win with almost 2:00 minutes left on the clock. You either try to score or run out the clock (a very strange strategy when you have a 4x MVP at QB). Petite Fleur did neither, we ran out of downs and we still left time for Dallas. Frankly Fraudgers had a valid complaint. Petite Fleur had no idea what to call in this situation and Erin is justifiably pissed, but that’s not the point. The point is, the Coach, any Coach, can’t let the inmates run the prison. Try shouting f’bombs at your boss in front of your co-workers tomorrow at work and see how it goes. Coach’s view: While not perfect; the roster is good; the problem is coaching. Murphy will do nothing about this problem because he’s within a couple of years of retirement and Fraudgers dead money on the Cap is high if he retires or is cut. Net/net: we are destined to have Petite Fleurodgers at least thru 2023. Buckle up kids. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Tom Brady Realizes It's Easier To Be Hit By 300-Pound Linemen Than Stay Home All Day With Young Kids The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Bears Protection Scheme Involves O-Line Asking Defense To Go Easy On Jared Field While He’s Going Through Some Stuff CHICAGO—Taking a new approach to better safeguard their quarterback, the Chicago Bears were reportedly using a protection scheme Sunday that involved their offensive line asking the defense to go easy on Jared Field while he’s going through some stuff. “We’re always trying to refine things to make things easier for Jared, which is why we’re having left guard Cody Whitehair pull the defensive linemen aside to fill them in on Jared’s personal issues before the snap,” said Bears head coach Matt Eberflus, adding that he hoped the Detroit Lions defense would refrain from blitzing Field after the offensive line told them the sad story of how he’s struggling with heartbreak. “We’ll have the left tackle pick up any linebackers or safeties and let them know that Jared’s really getting it from all sides right now, he’s not sleeping well, and really the last thing he needs is to get sacked on his blind side. We’re hoping that this new offensive scheme will allow Jared to relax in the pocket and clear his head until he works things out at home.” At press time, Eberflus was scolding Bears wide receiver Darnell Mooney for yelling that he was open, reminding him not to bother Field when the quarterback had so many other things on his plate. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Badgers, Team of Destiny, Shows Who They Are The university of Wisconsin football team is destined for a mediocre finish and a crappy bowl game, at best. Sure, they are not mathematically eliminated from an opportunity to get Kevin Bacon’ed in Indianapolis, but we all know that the chances approach zero when taking into account the fact that the Badgers proved who they are on Saturday, a team that wilts in important games. Not only that, but Illinois must lose to Northwestern. Mertz acted like his bell was rung for most of the game as he scampered away from the onslaught unleashed by the pathetic UW OL. Repeatedly chucking the ball downfield to receivers who were not open and often double-covered compounded matters. When not absorbing hits behind the line of scrimmage, Braelon Allen sought to avoid hits on his injured shoulder by racing for the sideline, ignoring cutback opportunities and chances to gain first downs by turning upfield. The D did OK against a an equally pathetic Hawkeye offense, except for going soft when special teams and the offense presented Iowa with a short field. If it weren’t for the blocked punt, big punt return allowed and a decision to not field a punt, the game woulda been pretty even. As it was, the errant Mertz passes, and crappy special team play sealed the deal for the 5th place Badgers. Big Ten Interim Coach Bowl 2022 The hapless Badgers take an 8 game winning streak and a 13 point spread to Lincoln. The Huskers have QB issues with their main guy out hurt the last 2 games and Chubba Purdy (no, not a made-up name) or Logan Smothers sharing snaps. Their defense ranks last or next to last in several key metrics. Braelon Allen could rack up 150 yards without taking a hit and Graham Mertz could complete 20 passes in a row without taking a sack. Bucky rolls, 42-7. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Like a lot of the new Expansion Teams in the AFL, the Pack has not played the Nashville Oilers very often. Unfortunately, our bad teams of the 70’s and 80’s gives us a 6-7 record all-time, dating back to their vagabonds’ origins in Houston, then Memphis, now Nashville. We’re 2-2 in the Fraudgers’ era, with both teams winning at home and the Pack averaging a 48-11 win in the two games played at Lambeau. However, ... the stats don’t look as rosy this year and they don’t point to a 35+ point blowout (N.S. Sherlock). The Oilers are leading the AFC South, but so what? The Nashville Oilers could easily be the poster child for NFL mediocrity. No team is completely horrendous (well, maybe the last place Bears) and no team is completely good. Their QB is Ryan Tannehill … and he’s a good system QB. When Petite Fleur was there and his Coach, he was good … and he still is “good”. Derrick Henry was a great / is a “really good” running back, but his avg yds/carry is behind both A Jones and Quadzilla. We held Derrick Henry under 100 yds rushing when we beat the Oilers 40-14 in 2020. They have a buncha receivers and some are above average … but nobody that scares you. We’re about matched on O (24th & 25th ranking respectively). Their Defense is ranked #8 vas. Our #16, but they are giving up almost 19 pts/game so maybe they won’t be a big problem. We are going to win this game for one reason and one reason only, Rudy Ford will make 23 interceptions and return 21 of them for touchdowns. OK, a bit more seriously. Rudy Ford looks to be a leader on Defense, something we haven’t had since Zilarious Smith was active in 2020. He’s the Rasul to your Damarious Randal. He may not intercept another ball in 2022, but he’ll be on the field and he’s a leader. Yes, the math says we’re close to being out of contention to win the Norris Division this year, but we are not out of it yet!! Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? No!! dammit!! And we're not going to give up now! We’re going to drive the Death Mobile at ramming speed and we’re gonna put some fear into the rest of the NFL. Packers 38 Titans 17 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them Coach realizes that many of you will enter the woods with a weapon for the first time this year on Saturday, with it being opening day of the gun deer season and all. And, although Coach has at least 2-weeks’ worth of all day sits in full camo logged with his new bow in the tree stand, he is excited for another chance to bag a buck with his daunting bolt action 30-06 and high vis blaze orange Elmer Fudd ear-flap hat. So let’s bag a couple of bucks, boys… 1923, 100 seasons ago, was the first season for which we have reliable unofficial statistics. Although the NFL did not begin to formally compile basic stats until 1932, the Press-Gazette accounts were complete for all 10 Packer games in 1923.
Fullback Buck Gavin was second in rushing behind Curly Lambeau that year. Gavin actually played in the Packers backfield both in 1921 and in 1923. Buck did not go to college, as he was the LeBron James of the NFL in those days. Well, maybe not LeBron good, but credibly LeBron dumb. Tackle Cub Buck led the team with 88 punts and in scoring by converting 5 of 8 PATs and 6 of 16 field goals (ouch). Buck also completed 8 of 11 passes, no doubt from punt formation. Green Bay finished 3rd in the 20-team league that year, tied with the Milwaukee Badgers whom they beat twice. Green Bay scored 85 points and gave up just 34, throwing seven shutouts that season. Green Bay’s road victory over the St. Louis All-Stars on November 4 represented the team’s longest ever road trip to that point, nearly 500 miles. The Press-Gazette began naming an All-Pro team for football in 1923, too. Curly Lambeau was named to the second team and Cub Buck to the third. So this week we salute a couple of Bucks from 100 years ago, and good luck out there this weekend, fellas -- you never know what might come your way!
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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