Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! for the 200th meeting between the Packers and the Bears. It’s downright great to be an American! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: Fans should learn flag etiquette Coach loves the Packers and talks about them 365 days-a-year (no joke, just ask da wife). He goes to all home games and also rants about anything and everything that might get in the way of winning the Super Bowl every year (duh). We have the most NFL Championships and let me assure you, 13 is simply not enough. But you know what really grinds my gears? …when some jackass (usually a fan of the visiting team – and you can bet it will be a Bear fan near you at Lambeau this weekend) totally disrespects our flag and the playing of our National Anthem. I figure these losers all pretty much have the same thing in common: they think the world revolves around them, and/or they figure since they paid to get into the stadium everyone should just have to deal with their shit. If I wasn’t already in a frozen salute to the Stars and Stripes, completely zoning out everything I possibly can as Francis Scott Key’s hymn is performed, I would wrap the back of that dickhead’s jacket over the front of his head and go Marty McSorely on his face until his teeth fell into his $14 cup of Bluemoon. Fortunately, there’s usually a retired service veteran or a little old lady nearby to tap that pinhead on the shoulder and scold him into shame before I can get to him (my cooling off period). It’s bad enough that drunk idiots disrespect the flag because they don’t care, but it’s also pretty disappointing that many folks unknowingly use bad etiquette during the playing of our national anthem. Some of these might surprise you, but at a minimum you can use them to educate the drunk 19-year-olds who scored grandpa’s seats for the cold games:
Up to this point, if you’ve generally just been ignorant and committed some of these patriotic faux pas during the playing of our national anthem, I can let it go, but now you know better so I am expecting you to step it up on Sunday, sweetheart! And if you’re a drunk Bears fan that is just going to be an obnoxious FIB regardless of where you are or what else is going on around you, you better hope granny is between you and I. The American flag is the premier symbol of our patriotism and proclaims our country’s commitment to freedom. …including our freedom of speech, which technically gives you the right to be a douche bag and violate all the aforementioned guidelines; but just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. …At least, in my humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Déjà vu all over again. We got our asses handed to us twice on the West Coast and now two weeks in a row we struggled to beat lousy NFC East teams. All Coach cares about is that winning ugly is better than losing with grace, and now we are 10-3 and the 2nd Seed in the NFC Playoff picture. Who’da thunk that in August? We played an outstanding 14-0 first quarter and coulda been up by even more before halftime, and shoulda had the game out of hand before the 4th Q. But…again…we took our collective foot off the gas. The Skins didn’t quit and that resulted in us “losing” the remainder of the game 6-15 for a 20-15 final score. Look past the ugliness and there were four really positive things that got Coach excited this week:
We will face really good teams in the playoffs and learning to win without a turnover advantage is critical. Special Teams is always a deciding factor in the playoff games, so hopefully this was not a one-week-wonder. if our punt-kick and punt-return teams are at least at the NFL average we become a much stronger team and don’t forget we have a real weapon with Crosby kicking FG. The Defense played “Ok” and is ranked 13th at 20.3 points a game. Not good, but it looked better than it has for the last month. Highlights worth noting are that Adrian Amos got his 2nd pick of the year and Kenny Clark finally got his 3rd sack of the year. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come. Clark has been a bright spot in the center of an otherwise mediocre center of the DL. It’s hard to criticize the Offense too much when AJ33 averaged 8.4 yards/carry on 16 carries, but they only scored 6 points after the 1st Qtr. In reality, we didn't run the ball enough! Remember those carries in the 2nd and 3rd quarters? Me neither. They didn't exist. In the 1st quarter Jones was averaging over 10 yards/carry ... why TF did LaFleur abandon the run? Throughout Lambeau you could hear guys screaming: "Run the damn ball!" Quite the head scratcher. Coach would like to offer some wisdom and insight to justify LaFleur's pass-happy strategy that book-ended the halftime frisbee show, but nowhere in his incoherent directionless onslaught of ineffective pass plays was any semblance of thought; everyone in the stadium got dumber for having watched it, and at home an impressed Mike McCarthy was taking copious notes for his next job in DEEtroit. Any sack is a killer, but this one backed us up into an almost-safety situation. Clearly Bulaga (RT) and Turner (RG) haven’t communicated pre-snap and Ioannidis basically tears AJ in half while sacking Rodgers. Coach Interstitial Rant #1 - Part of the issue is that the Offensive Line has regressed this year. Coach just worked over OL Coach Stenavich last week, so I won’t repeat, suffice it to say however that this guy has got to go. He and ST Coach Meningitis have a combined zero years’ experience at the NFL level leading their respective units and it shows, week-in-and-week-out … in other words, you can’t fix stoopid (at least not in time for the Super Bowl). Another offensive woe that has been bemoaned all week on the call-in shows is that Rodgers is “losing it.” Usually the insightful callers point to “misses” of Jones and Graham on the pass plays below. As with most things in life, Coach doesn’t agree with the conventional wisdom. The original pass pattern that Jones is (supposed to be) running has him faking in and then cutting out to a flag pattern, looking over his left shoulder. AJ catches a break when the DB slips on the polyethylene-SIS grass, but this is just at the moment AR is launching the ball. Watch carefully as AJ heads upfield when the DB slips, he’s thinking TD but it’s too late for AR to change the pass. If Jones would have run the route he was supposed to have run, he would have had the ball in his breadbasket. Coach Interstitial Rant #2 – the polyethylene-SIS grass was installed before the 2018 season and players have been slipping all over the place ever since. Normally Coach would laud this as a home-field advantage, but for some reason the Coaches, Players and Equipment guys haven’t figured out how get our guys the correct cleats. If we can’t figure it out, then put back the real grass so we can have mud games once again (and keep the drain field underneath). The other “miss” was on Graham. This one is a little bit harder to catch on video but was very apparent at Lambeau. The route is very similar to the one Jones is supposed to have run above, but Jimmy gets the head turn correct and is looking over left shoulder. The more important point is that when he makes his cut to the flag pattern (the last part where he is supposed to cut to the sideline at a 45° angle), he rounds the pattern a bit and brings his shoulders around so that he is looking back at Rodgers. This costs him between one and two steps and is why the pass looks “overthrown” to the inattentive observer, while it looked like a perfect ball to Coach. Coach Interstitial Rant #3 - this is at least the 10th time Coach has noticed extremely poor route running since Graham has been with the Pack. It seems as though Jimmy doesn’t trust that A-Rod will see him, so he slows down to look (“ooh, ooh, I’m open Aaron, I’m open Aaron, throw it to me, throw it to me!”) Maybe the guy has always had this bad habit and he used to have “catch-up speed” so he could get away with it...I dunno… Coach strongly recommends giving Jimmy a clipboard and a great front row seat for the rest of 2019. Tonyan and Marcedes Lewis are much better route-runners and Tonyan is a helluva lot faster than Graham. So is Bryan Bulaga. Another record lost – yeah! While at one level it might have been fun to have a record that would have lived in ignominy, newly signed Tyler Ervin returned his first punt as a Packer and wiped out the 2019 total of negative 8 yards in punt returns. He had 51 total return yards for the game, putting us at +43 yards for the year! The Pack needs 36 more punt yards in the next four games to avoid a new record for futility. Ervin may not be Desmond Howard, but at least we have a hope now (Perhaps on the level of Roelle Preston?) … hallelujah! Oh yeah, a lot of other stuff happened in the game, too:
WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up NFL To Institute Replay Reviews On Every Play NEW YORK—In response to rising criticisms of the quality of officiating, the NFL has announced an expansion of instant replay review to include every single play, without exception. To stave off complaints from owners, coaches, players, and fans, moving forward, after each play, the referees will watch all camera angles of the prior play in slow motion. The new policy is designed to ensure that all penalties are called, the ball is spotted at the right yard marker, and no debates ensue over whether the runner was down or not before fumbling. In response to questions over the possibility of longer games, NFL Executive Vice President of Football Operations, Troy Vincent, explained, "The most important thing is getting the call right. Why are we officiating in real-time, when we can get the call right by utilizing replay review on every single play?" The NFL Referees Union was also in favor of the move. "Not only will our refs get each and every call right, but they no longer have to sprint up the field alongside world-class athletes. This will undoubtedly improve working conditions and quality of life for our members." While virtually every play will be called correctly moving forward, NFL officials were non-committal on whether the new policy would solve debates over what constitutes a catch. "Even I don’t understand that," Vincent said. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Giggling Trump Punks Kaepernick “This Is The Chicago Bears And We'd Love To Sign You” WASHINGTON, D.C.—After an anxiously disappointing couple of weeks following his workout in Atlanta for several NFL teams, Colin Kaepernick was excited when his phone rang at long last this past Wednesday. "Hello?" he said, attempting to sound casual. "Hi, uh, yes, is this a Mr. Kaepernick?" President Trump said, stifling laughter. "Yeah, it's me. Who's this?" Kaepernick said, trying not to get his hopes up. "This is the Chicago Bears, and we'd love to sign you," Trump said, barely containing his laughter. "OK, well, I've got a lot of offers so let me talk with my agent and get back to you," Kaepernick said, taking a knee in his joy. "Yeah, we've got a great franchise here. One of the best. Maybe the best franchise ever. Lots of footballing and throwing. Even some kicking. You'll fit in great here. When can you come in for a physical?" Trump said, the floodgates of laughter ready to burst at any moment. Kapernick's face fell. "Oh man. Donald Trump, is that you!?" "Ha! Classic!" Trump said. "You should have heard yourself. 'Let me talk with my agent and get back to you' -- Sad! Fell for it hook, line, and sinker! You're a low-IQ individual!" The President reportedly had pranked Kaepernick in similar fashion two times prior since the Atlanta workout. At press time, Trump was dialing from a different number, planning on pretending to be the Cincinnati Bengals front office. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Going into the Ohio State game Saturday night, your first thought may have been ‘just play them tough, keep the margin of defeat respectable and get to the Rose Bowl.’ The first half played out better than anyone could have reasonably expected. The pass rush heated up tOSU QB fields, Paul Chryst made the right play calls, the OL blocked, our playmakers made plays and the players generally executed on both sides of the ball. With a 14-point lead at halftime and the counting of un-hatched chickens in full swing, the idea may have crossed your mind that ‘if only we had not fallen apart late in the Illinois game, a win vs. Ohio State would make a good case for the Badgers being in the playoffs. Oklahoma’s resume of top 20 wins was nothing compared to Bucky’s. Just don’t repeat the Ped State second half capitulation of three years ago.’ Fox announcers omitted making mention of how big a loss the Chris Orr injury would be during the second half, yet tripped over themselves throughout the first half pointing out how much Fields’ sprained MCL was impacting tOSU’s offense. This was a game-long infomercial, lobbying the case for tOSU remaining the top seed in the playoffs. Bless Fox for their shilling efforts on behalf of the Big Ten. The worst-case scenario for them would be Wisconsin winning, still going to the Rose Bowl and tOSU’s seed dropping. Had we finished the deal, Joe Klatt & Gus Williams would have begrudgingly jumped on our bandwagon. In the end, we were just another pesky bunch that pushed the overwhelming favorite, punched them in the mouth, kept viewers from switching stations and then went away quietly. If it is of any consolation, we did cause tOSU to drop from a one seed to a two seed. Wisconsin this year lacked trustworthy depth at LB, DL, OL & running back. They were very fortunate injury-wise this year. Baun & Orr were team leaders in sacks at 12.5 and 11.5 respectively, but Orr is disruptive in so many other areas, including stuffing the run. Orr’s 11.5 sacks are on par with the high water numbers put up by TJ Watt and Joey Bosa. Losing LB Noah Burks early was an issue, but losing both him & Orr opened up tOSU run opportunities that kept our offense on the sidelines. Fields also had much more time to pick out receivers and make good throws. Most unsettling about our second half play was that it had the look of a collective deer-in-the headlights collapse. Yes, we had emptied out the playbook during the first half and the previous week vs. the Goophs. Lotti’s mis-handling of the punt snap in a sterile dome environment was the first sign of trouble. The OL quit blocking and the play-calling turned conservative. We did not counter tOSU’s adjustments and let Chase Young take over the second half. There was no TE help and no chip blocks. It was Young vs. Van Lanen almost the whole second half. If you are not going to throw to a wide-open Ferguson during the second half, perhaps he should be assisting with pass blocking. The screen to Groshek was set up to be a big gainer, but was chased down from behind. There was no margin for error on either side of the ball. The Groshek plays that worked against Nebraska, Purdue and even Minnesota didn’t work against tOSU’s superior talent. Officiating seemed to heavily favor tOSU throughout the game, with several holding calls not being made and an obvious procedure call on a second half TD not being made. Our DB’s let up, knowing a flag was about to fly on the TD play. Not that it would have made a difference in the game’s outcome since Paul Chryst would have taken a knee anyway, but the obvious targeting against Coan on the last play of the game should have called or reviewed. But that would have meant a tOSU DB sitting the first half of their playoff game. Were that the NFL, the fine would be arriving today. We had a time of possession advantage in the first half and Taylor was breaking big runs. If the proper penalty calls were made, tOSU drives ended when they should have and our offense stayed on the field longer, perhaps it would have been Ohio State missing multiple tackles on 3rd and 18. Ok, turn the page. We have a good matchup with Oregon in the Rose Bowl to look forward to. Orr will be back, Taylor will play and we open as 2.5 point favorites. Wisconsin takes it’s bowl games seriously, but the same cannot be said for other top-25 teams. Nick Saban, for example, has told his Alabama players with NFL money on the line that it would be ok to skip their bowl game vs. Michigan. BU would like to reiterate its longstanding opposition to limiting the playoffs to 4 teams. It should be an 8, 12 or 16-team tourney with home games for the higher seeds in the first round or two, depending on the setup. Too many of the bowl games are becoming exhibitions. ($20 says you just turned your phone sideways.) There is huge TV money to be had in an expanded playoff. If injuries and NFL-ready players skipping games is a concern even in an expanded playoff, limit it to 8 teams. Whatever the format, meaningful non-conference games should be legislated to raise the odds of the most deserving teams getting in. None of the top Big Ten teams played top teams in other conferences this year, with the exception of Michigan playing Notre Dame. Play more games like that and over-rated teams like Notre Dame and Oklahoma get exposed. Among the several collateral effects of a 4-team playoff is further encouraging top recruits to attend the 4-6 schools that make the playoffs year in and year out. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Why will we win? Well, we have to… We have to maintain our quest for a Division Crown, a home-field playoff game and first-round-by in the Playoffs. More than any other argument that scares Coach, playing desperate is not good and, as we’ve shown the last two weeks, games that we should win in blowouts are anything but. We will win because we have Aaron Rodgers and they have Jay Turdbisquit at QB. Detroit was keen on this consideration when they started their backup QB against Chicago on Thanksgiving. Head coach Matt Patricia keyed the other coaches in the NFC Central Division when he explained in his post-game press conference that the Lions switched to a no-coverage defense to prevent Trubisky from losing his starting job. “If we’re not careful, Mitch could throw straight into double coverage, or worse chuck a pick-six, then he’s likely to be benched permanently.” Bizarrely, the 7-6 Bears are still alive in the uber-competitive 2019 NFC Wildcard race (primarily because the East Division is stinkaroo, with no team worthy of any playoff appearance). This game at Lambeau on Sunday has HUUUUUGGGE playoff implications for both teams. Pack clinches playoff berth with:
The American Academy of Cardiology is forecasting lower blood pressure for TV viewers of the game because FOX’s second team of Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis, and Pam Oliver will have the call (Coach will be at Lambeau and Troy and Joe will be somewhere we don’t care about.) Let’s set this one up. It’s the 200th meeting of the two teams, by far the most for any two teams in the NFL. The Pack is clearly the dominant team with a 0.15-point average margin of victory and 3-game-margin in games won! In a fun bit of history, you can summarize the whole 100-year series by 5 definitive eras:
Coach is supremely confident that we will beat the Bears, however he agrees with Vegas that this could be a close game and the opening line is “only” Packers at (-4.5) points (obviously the opening line is the best prediction by Vegas, the bettors drive the final line). The short version of what set the line is that the Pack looks like a “weak” 10-3 (Coach agrees) and the Bears are on a roll, going 4-1 over the last 5. Coach disagrees that they are on a roll, he simply points out that they lost to the Rams and beat Detroit twice and Dallas/NYG once-each for the four wins. Now let’s dive into the stats to see if we can explain the Vegas line. If we compare the Packers Offense vs. the Bears Defense (6-pt Packer advantage) and the PackD/BearsO (2.1pt Bears advantage), you could predict a Packers 3.9-pt win. This is very close to the betting line of 4.5. Hang on Coach, don’t I usually “get” 3 points from Vegas for home-field advantage. Yes Jimmy, that’s true. In this weekend’s game, you might say that the “implied” home-field-advantage is only 0.6 points (4.5 is greater than the 3.9 year-to-date), which means Vegas is throwing 2.4 points in the direction of the Bears. Hmm… Another angle for confirming the observation is the Over/Under. The “all-time” O/U is 34.4 points while the 2019 year-to-date Offensive Scoring is 42.5. The actual O/U is 40.5, exactly 2 points lower than the year-to-date offense. More-or-less the same as the lost 2.4 home-field points. What is driving this magic 2-points? Well, let’s keep going… The table above has most of the “normal” game stats. Our Offense is generally ranked around 19/20 for stats based on yards, while the Bears D is much better and has rankings in the Top 10. Strong advantage Bears. Our Defense going against their Offense is only slight advantage Pack. Ooops, not the analysis we were looking for…but hang on! The Main-Stream-Media likes to talk about the Smith Brothers and Turnovers, but we are no better than the Bears in those departments. However, we are a stronger 1st Quarter team and when we start fast, we win! Bet on the Pack to win, but not covering the spread, and a total below the 40.5 O/U Packers 21 Bears 19 Chevon McNuggets - G.O.A.T. facts to chew on JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them You’re either too young or too old to remember Verne Lewellen playing for the Packers. The 6-foot tall 180-pound Lewellen was a 3-time 1st-team All-Pro that could run, pass and kick (in an era when field goals were a rarity) and was a legendary punter. In nine seasons, from 1924-32, Lewellen rushed for 37 touchdowns. His soaring 50- and 60-yard punts were key factors as the Packers beat the New York Giants in a key 1929 game that led to our first NFL championship, and he was a central figure on the subsequent championship teams in ’30 and ’31. Verne was also a staple in the community. He married “Miss Ice Cream Sundae 1927” LouEllen Vogel from New Franken, and he was elected Brown County district attorney in 1929 while still playing. He finished his playing career in 1933 as the leading Packer scorer at that time with 307 points. Verne stayed connected to the team and was named the first Packers general manager in 1954 and later served as the Packers business manager until he retired in 1966. In today’s NFL, a resume like Verne’s would have a man financially set for life. But, alas, his day was before the massive TV contracts, so to make ends meet in their retirement years, his wife LouEllen worked part time as an operator for Bell Telephone Company. In 1978, LouEllen Lewellen was secretly recorded by progressive experimental rock band Pink Floyd for their song Young Lust when she inquired “This is a collect call for Mrs. Floyd from Mr. Floyd, will you accept the charges from the United States?” [phone hangs up] “Oh, he hung up, that’s your residence, right? Is there supposed to be someone else there besides your wife there to answer?” “This is the United States calling, are we reaching…” [phone hangs up] “See he keeps hanging up, and it’s a MAN answering.”
So you might not remember Verne Lewellen, but you certainly can respect his immense contributions to the Packers organization, and you can probably can hear his wife talking to you in your head right now. Your welcome.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
Categories |