Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show !!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: ...Lambeau Field should always be “Lambeau Field.” In case you missed it, as of January 1, 2021 the Milwaukee Brewers baseball stadium formerly known as Miller Park is now officially “American Family Field.” Yilch. In a few years it will be called something else (.com) and not long after that no one will remember it was ever called Miller Park (See also, Qualcomm Stadium. Hey, if you cause the Packers to lose a Super Bowl, then you will cease to exist.). Remember where the Brewers used to play? Of course you do! “County Stadium.” That iconic name will forever be ingrained into every red-blooded Wisconsinite for its awesome memories of Hall Of Famers like Hank Aaron and Robin Yount, and its famous bratwurst tailgating smells from the parking lot through the 6th inning (followed by the inevitable Two-Fisted Slobber), and let’s not forget visits by Morganna “The Kissing Bandit!” …but I digress. I know, there’s lots of money that gets doled out by rich corporations for their company name recognition and that helps pay for expensive NFL salaries, blah, blah, blah. Sure, that’s how the newly-formed expansion football teams, and the perennial loser teams, do it -- because THEY CAN’T COUNT ON LOYAL FANS to keep the team financially viable. But you know who can? The Green Bay Packers. And, dare I say(?), the Chicago Bears. Soldiers Fields … ever heard of it? Of course you have. It’s in Chicago, Illinois. And, even though the Bears will always suck, their fans are idiots and will follow them no matter what. That’s what the NFL needs; loyal fans -- not corporate sponsors -- for their stadiums (let the TV broadcast companies whore themselves out to corporations for raising cash). Coach asks you to consider a true football-named stadium as part of the salary cap … sort of like an income cap. If you don’t have loyal fans, find a city with loyal fans that will pay to see the games each week. There are plenty of them out there (see also, St. Louis, Missouri). Which leads me to my assertion that Lambeau Field should never be called anything but “Lambeau Field,” lest we will begin the demise of western civilization (see also, Alabama playing Notre Dame in the Rose Bowl at Jerry World in Dallas). …at least, in my humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Wow, a legit beat-down of a legit Playoff Team, this was the most satisfying win in a long time! A 40-14 score is tough to produce in the NFL, let alone against a good team. Our Offense performed about as predicted (40 pts actual vs. 34 predicted) … but the concern going into the game was that the Oilers came had the No. 1 Scoring Offense (and a slew of highly rated, offensive, players) and we have a middle-of-the-road-D. But Defensive Coordinator Mike Poutine actually listened to Coach this week … Hallelujah, this was the best Defensive effort in years! (14 pts actual allowed vs. 30 predicted.) Last week Coach said the keys to playing Defense were:
Check, check, check, check and check … all objectives achieved! It killed Coach to be watching from home, staring at his unused, home-game, Season Tickets! The story all year has been one of great-plays followed by mistakes. The story all year has been one of great-quarters (halves) followed by big let downs and “prevent Defense.” But not on this night… … we beat them 19-7 (3-to-1 TD’s) in the 1st-Half and we beat them again by the same margin in the 2nd-Half (21-7, 3-to-1 TD’s). 19:07 TOP 1st-Half and 17:30 TOP 2nd-Half. 208 Yds 1st-Half and 232 Yds 2nd-Half. …and no punts and no penalties in either Half… (1st time the Packers have ever done that, at least since 1941 when they started tracking it.) What delighted Coach the most is that Poutine actually committed 7 or 8 guys to the Box on a regular basis and made the DB’s play up to their pay checks. As expected, Alexander, Amos and Savage had outstanding games … and King played like a guy who doesn’t care that he’s in a contract year. Or maybe that’s all he can do when he’s trying. (What happened to the guy who was outstanding against the Rams 2 years ago?) OK Kids, let’s go a little deeper into the game and break’er down fer ya’s… Defense The Titans had 154-yards rushing and Derrick Henry’s 98 rushing yards were mostly meaningless, coming after we were up by two scores. The Packers loaded up the box to stop the run and consistently had the “flat-5” front (3 DL and 2 OLB) with 2 ILB and at least 1, sometimes 2 Safeties “up.” …meaning that we usually had 7 “bigs” (DL & LB) in the game instead of our usual diet of 5, 6 and 7 DB’s. The outside linebackers kept “contain” on the edges and played more disciplined than any of the previous games. The pressure on Tannehill was relentless all night. Rashan Gary had several pressures, including this one that resulted in an interception by Darnell Savage. In the clip above, the Titans have 3rd & 4 in the 2nd Qtr and are down 19-0. Alexander is playing aggressively, and AJ Brown gets inside of him for a quick slant, yet Jaire makes the tackle. Coach was really excited about this play. Yes, Jaire gave up a 1st Down, but he was playing 1:1 with one of the best receivers in the league. What’s impressive is that Jaire:
What really upsets Coach is that we could have (should have) been playing this way all year (basically go back and read all the previous Show!!!’s published before this one). Lets’ hope Poutine sticks with it… A few plays later and its 1st & 10 at the GB 30, still 19-0 and the 1st-Half clock is down to 1:13. Kenny Clark shoots up the middle, through one of the better O-Lines in the NFL, and tackles Henry for -2 yards. A truly outstanding play. Which brings up 2nd & 12 at the GB 32. Now is the time to kill the Titans drive and hold them to at most a FG attempt, correct? No, Kevin King to the rescue for the Titans. AJ Brown outweighs King by 25-lb’s, so King violates Commandment #1 in Football: Low-Man-Wins. By “going high” while trying to tackle Brown, King gives up 13 yards for a 1st Down and the Titans go on to score before Half-Time to make it 19-7 at the Half. The Titans received the 2nd-Half kickoff, and we were all wondering if we could make them go 3 & out (or hoping for a good stop anyway). Well, 45 of the Titans 154-yds rushing came on a Ryan Tannehill read-option-touchdown-run. In the pre-snap picture below, Darnel Savage is playing Left ILB. Tannehill faked a hand-off to Henry (who was going to the Titans left), and Savage bit on the fake … and Tannehill went to his right and was untouched for 45 yards. Tannehill’s TD narrowed the score to 19-14 and most of us were thinking “OK, here we go again”… But the Offense played well (more below), the D-Line continued to pressure, and we had another pick (by Kirksey no-less). And the D even left points on the field! With pressure coming on Tannehill he laid one up that Savage should have returned for a TD … but he was too excited and finished too quickly … Offense The Packers received the game’s opening kickoff and marched 60 yards down the field for a TD. Nice. The drive was highlighted by a nice 13-yd 1st Down catch by Dominque Dafney. Wait – what? Who the hell is Dafney? Oh, just another UDFA-Gooty-Gem at FB/TE. Signed to the active roster on December 12th, this was his fourth game. Gooty just keeps building depth at the hybrid fullback/tight-end position; Dafney is filling-in for John Lovett who was filling in for Josiah Deguara before they both went on IR. Dafney has played better and better each week and he had 25 snaps against the Titans, mostly as a run blocker. Go Gooty Go. Not to be outdone in the “no-name-hero” category by Dafney, Equanimeous St. Brown opens up the 2nd Qtr with a nice TD catch to finish to the Packers 2nd drive of the game. At some point, one just runs out of superlatives to describe Adams. He finishes an outstanding route by fooling the DB … as he routinely does, Adams doesn’t reach for the ball... because Rodgers is dropping dimes this year, Davante just lets it fall into his hands so that the DB does not know when to turn his head. Brilliant. AJ Dillon had his breakout game as a pro with 21 carries for 142 yards, exactly what the Packers need at home in cold and snowy conditions (oh, BTW, Aaron Jones also added a measly 94 yards on 10 carries). Rodgers said in the post-game press conference that he could hear Tom Clements (his old QB Coach) in his head, preaching against the cardinal sin of quarterbacking, “never throw late down the middle.” Coach grants A-Rod a mulligan and will let him start against the Bears in Chicago. Special Teams As good as the Offense and Defense were, they covered up a host of Special Teams disasters. Who knows what happened? There are no obvious errors in the mechanics on this kick, but it does make for five missed extra-points this year. Maybe something is wrong with Crosby, remember, he did hurt his leg and back a few weeks ago, and Gooty did sign a place kicker to the Practice Squad this week (and a punter, too, but these are supposedly Plan B signings should COVID isolation protocols prevent specialists from suiting up in the playoffs). One of La Fleur’s strengths as a Coach is that he is normally not emotional. The 2nd Packers TD was scored at the beginning of the 2nd Qtr and we went up 12-0. Still early in the game, the “Point-Chart” tells you to kick the extra-point at that juncture (to go up 13-0); no doubt caught up in the emotions of the game, and P.O.’d about the first PAT miss, LF went for two-points and didn’t get it. After the 3rd TD we (successfully) kicked the PAT. It didn’t matter in this game, but emotional decision making in lieu of smart game management (see also, Mike McCarthy) will matter in the Playoffs. If LaFleur was sending a message to Crosby, or Mennenga, or whoever, this was probably his last game to do that. (Sigh.) Jack Crawford splits Rick Wagner (a starter at RT half-the-time) and Elgton Jenkins (all pro LG all-the-time) to block the FG. As the play starts the guy in front of Wagner backs out and Wagner literally falls on his face, leaving Jenkins to block two guys. This is ridiculous. Fortunately we were saved by an equally ridiculous offsides-call against the Titans and 4th & 8 became 4th & 3 at the Nashville 12-yd line, with 4:21 left in the Half, still leading 19-0. With a 19-0 lead and the Half winding down, the smart play here is to kick the Field Goal and go up 22-0. Instead, McCarthy (errr) LaFleur ran a play on 4th & 3, the Titans started on a blitz and backed out, fooling Rodgers momentarily and he took the 17-yard sack. The Titans then marched down the field for their first TD. The whole sequence of the blocked kick and then going for it on 4th & 3 was just bad Coaching all the way around. Who’s the cold-weather-team-playing-at-home-in-the-snow? After scoring in the 2nd Qtr, the Oilers executed a perfect squib kick down the middle of the field to Malik Taylor, the “up man” (and kept it away from Tavon Austin who was deep). Taylor returned it, just past the 20 and the Pack ran 3 plays in 37 seconds to end the half. The ST kick strategy limited Rogers and the Pack from scoring any more points before half. Oh, yeah, Titans head coach Mike Vrabel is from Akron, OH, played at Ohio State and then played in the NFL for 13 years with the Steelers, Patriots and Chiefs. No stranger to cold-weather-games he. When ST Coordinator Shawn Mennenga was asked this week what he felt really good about with his Special Teams, after a long pause, a throat clearing, and then an awkward silence, he could not come up with an answer so he rambled onto other football aspects that did not answer the S.I.M.P.L.E. simple-as-can-be question. Yikes. Unfortunately, as we enter the playoffs Mennenga’s ACL appears fully intact. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Redskins Change Name To ‘Genderless Sports Players With No Discernible Racial Features Or Specific Ethnic Background’ WASHINGTON D.C.—Due to mounting pressure from a growing consensus of 12 people on Twitter and The New York Times, the former Washington Redskins, known temporarily this year as The Washington Football Team, have officially chosen to change their team's name and promise to forever rid the organization of any highly offensive mascot. After testing several new names with focus groups, owner Daniel Snyder has finally settled on the highly non-offensive title "Genderless Sports Players With No Discernible Racial Features Or Specific Ethnic Background." "After listening to the earnest pleas of a few recent college grads who sat through a Native American History course once, I realized something had to change," said Snyder. "Once I make this change, I expect the lives of indigenous people to improve exponentially." Activists are continuing to push the organization to do more to right the wrongs brought about by decades of racial insensitivity. In addition to the name change, the Redskins iconic logo will be replaced by a generic, genderless, racially ambiguous grey face with purple hair. Sadly, the Redskins logo was despicably displayed on helmets since the time it was first designed in 1971 in close consultation with Native American leaders. Among those who unanimously approved and voiced praise for the logo was Walter “Blackie” Wetzel, a former President of the National Congress of American Indians and Chairman of the Blackfeet Nation. Years earlier, Mr. Wetzel had been deeply involved with U.S. President John F. Kennedy in the movement for civil liberties, civil rights, and economic freedom for all. In 2014, Mr. Wetzel’s son Don commented, “It needs to be said that an Indian from the State of Montana created the Redskins logo, and did it the right way. It represents the Red Nation, and it’s something to be proud of.” Geez, what an Uncle Tom, that Wetzel kid. The next barrier the activists intend to bulldoze is changing the team’s city name from “Washington, the District of Columbia” -- which represents 2 probable racists (our first President and explorer Christopher Columbus, both of whom should obviously be removed forever from U.S. history books), to “Utopia.” The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Trubisky Admits He's Unsure If He's Tying Condoms Correctly CHICAGO— Struggling to put on the latex contraceptive, Bears quarterback Mitchell Trubisky confirmed after several attempts Wednesday that he was not sure whether he was tying his condom correctly. “Okay, so it’s over, under, up, and—wait, that’s not right,” said Trubisky, complaining that no matter how carefully he followed the step-by-step tutorials on YouTube, his lubricated prophylactic device came out a tangled, knotted mess that looked nothing like the ones in the videos. “How did Dad say to do this again? Because there’s no way it’s supposed to have this many loops. Maybe I can just tuck the ends in and no one will notice? Dammit, I knew I should have left it tied and slid it off the way I had it during my last post-game interview.” At press time, sources confirmed that an acquiescent Trubisky had opted to just buy a clip-on condom. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Bucky Beats Demon Deacons; Mertz Fumbles After Time Expires The Duke’s Mayo Bowl game was a perfect excuse to not do work mid-day on a Wednesday. Let’s just say it was an early spring game for the young Badger squad, something they missed this season. The Red team spotted the White team 14 points and then got down to business. The offense was spectacular, scorching Wake Forest for a whopping 144 yards passing and 122 yards rushing. Overlooking the 528 total yards of Demon Deacons offense given up, the real stars were on D, with 4 interceptions that gave the O great field position for most of the 2nd half. Wake either had guys running wide open, getting totally stuffed, or turning the ball over. Bucky wins, 42-28. In case you missed it, Badgers 5-star recruit QB Graham Mertz got a little too much mayo on his fingers, and dropped the trophy. Coach Chryst later said Graham just wanted all of his teammates to get a piece of it. There should be plenty to go around (click on link). Fortunately, the award was repaired by team manager Skippy McDougal, and it’s now on its way to the UW Football trophy case in Madison. Let’s hope this is the last time we play in this bowl. We look for great things from the Badgers next year which will be non-COVID. See you at Soldiers Fields on September 25 against perennially overrated Notre Dame. ADVERTISEMENT We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Oh no … Bakhtiari is out … the Bears will beat us! Well let’s see here kids, whadda we have for Week 17? The Bears have now scratched their way back to a little over 0.500 … … they’ve gone thru the Jekyll & Hyde season … … playing Turdbisquit … … benching Turdbisquit … … playing, then benching Foles … … now playing Turdbisquit … … and they are playing for their Playoff lives now*… * if they beat the Pack, they are in. If they lose, they can still get in at 8-8 with a Cardinals loss to the Rams. Much is being made in Chicago of the “three Seasons” the Bears are enjoying in 2020. First Season … Spring … 5-1 Second Season … Summer … 0-6 Third Season …Autumn … 3-0 Fourth Season … Winter … see below Give the Bears their due … they have won their last 3 games … against the Texans, Vikings and Jaguars … a real murders’ row, with a combined record of 11-34 going into WK 17. Including the prior Packers-Bears game, we have gone 5-0 and they have gone 3-2 over the last 5 weeks of the Season. They have also averaged a net positive point differential of 7.8 pts/gm … BUT … over the same span we are a plus 14.2. And, we have given up only 19 pts/gm on Defense, making us a Top-10 D during that span and a great sign going into the Playoffs. For the 2020 Season, we have a plus 6.7 pts/gm advantage over the Bears, which is almost identical to the 6.4 pts/gm advantage over the last 5 weeks. No surprise, the betting line opened at 5.5 pts in favor of the Pack. Joking aside, losing Bakhtiari is very significant and his loss shaved a point off of the betting line, which has dropped to 4.5 points. What is the Bears’ “Fourth Season” going to look like? 0-1. Coach is gonna give you four reasons why we will kill the Bears Season this Sunday: 1) We are rounding into Playoff Form. It’s true that we are 2-2 against Playoff-Bound teams this year, but we have looked good in 3 of the 4 games and really looked good last week in the cold and snow (and the Buc’s game is the only stinker of the 12-3 overall record). 2) We are playing much more physically. Starting with the Bears game at Lambeau five weeks ago, we have been playing much more physically. 3) We will fix Special Teams. Clearly, Peter LaFleur is no idiot. He knows we have to be better on ST and he will get it fixed before the Playoffs. Coach has double top-secret information that former ethanol-consumption-maestro and Hillsdale-College-Hero, Chester Marcol, has been retained to advise floundering Special Teams Coach Meningitis for the remainder of the 2020 Season. 4) Bakhtiari is coming to the game. While he may have a little bit of an “owie” on his knee and can’t play, David B and fiancée will be there to provide the only kind of moral support that Wisconsinites can understand! No doubt this one will go back and forth a bit, but in the end the Pack will enjoy a comfortable victory Packers 24 Bears 17 Chevon McNuggets - G.O.A.T. facts to chew on JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them So Bakhtiari is out for the season with a torn ACL ... Fudge. It’s not often the Packers get a great offensive tackle out the University of Colorado. Which brings us to this week’s gridiron relic, #79 Mark Koncar. In 1976, he was 2nd year coach Bart Starr’s first 1st-round draft choice, in a pick obtained from the Raiders in return for Ted Hendricks. The 6’5” 270-pound Koncar moved right into the starting lineup and made the All-Rookie team. He continued to improve in 1977 but began to be beset by injuries that would eventually derail his career (uh-oh). Koncar blew out his knee in 1978 and missed the whole season. Returning in ’79 he played 12 games, and then in 1980 he tore his Achilles tendon in Week 1 and missed the rest of that year. He returned as damaged goods in ‘81, but again was a starter. That October, he walked out on the team after objecting to harsh criticism from Starr. Koncar missed the October 11 game against Tampa, but returned the following week and played the rest of the season. The next year Starr traded him to Houston and he played only 5 games there before retiring. Let’s hope Bakhtiari bounces back better than that. After football, the highly-sensitive Koncar moved back to his home state of Utah and later married several women over a period of 3 years who refer to themselves “sister wives.” He recently released a highly successful book, published by his 4th wife Sarah, of designs for the DIY art of satin stitch hand embroidery, which was his major field of study at the University of Colorado. Let’s hope Bakhtiari bounces back better than that.
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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