Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! Normally I don’t weigh in on politically charged controversies – I like to keep the focus on the game, but I can’t sit on the sidelines for this one. I’m sorry if this “offends” anyone, but I think NFL players should 100% be required to stand during the playing of the Sunday Night Football theme song. This is a beautiful, historic song that should be a unifier for all Americans, but every week you see players disrespecting Carrie Underwood (and the entire country) by sitting on benches while the song is playing. Some of them are still in the locker room! Hey, if you want to protest, do it on your own time, alright? Not during the Sunday Night Football theme! Whether you’re in the stands, on the sidelines, or watching the game at home, when you hear that iconic vocal riff “Whoa-whoa-o, wa-whoa-a-whoa” you should be on your feet, with your hat off, and your hand on your heart. These young players these days – they don’t know anything about the historical significance that this song brings to our country. Heck, they probably don’t even remember when it was Faith Hill singing and the lyrics were “Waiting All Day For Sunday Night” applied to the rhythm of Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself For Lovin’ You.” Carrie Underwood does a new song for us every season, and THIS is how the players choose to show their respect? Shame on you, overpaid, spoiled and patriotically bereft players of the NFL. Shame I say. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Wow, this is gonna save Coach a lot of time…what were the key points from the Vikings Redskins game? 1. Kevin King is pretty good, but Fragile. 2. Mike McCarthy remains a predictable play caller and can’t seem to understand the game. Ty Montgomery was in the game for only 26 offensive snaps (34%) and had only 5 carries, but averaged 6.2 yards per carry. On a hot day with the defense dying, what do you do? Run the f’ng ball and wear down the D! More rectal-cranial inversion Mike. 3. Mike McCarthy cannot manage the game clock. Coach knows, it’s more than a little bit depressing to have the same game summary with the same outcome. So why did Coach predict a win? Coach thought that we had the bugs worked out and that the lack of a Preseason was behind us…clearly not. We are only 3 games into the 2018 Season so maybe it’s a bit early to get too concerned…but when Coach M McCarthy rolled out the “statistics are for losers” comment in his Wednesday presser this week, Coach went berserk. McCarthy is correct, and in this case the the statistics prove that he is a loser. Three games in and we are exactly where we were with Hundley, but now we have one-legged A-Rod. The Offense is at No. 14 in points scored and the Defense is at No. 23 in points allowed. As you can see below, the result is a -4.4 point differential per game, or a No. 24 ranking in scoring more points than the other guys. AND, it’s almost exactly the way the 2017 Season played out (-4.0 point differential, No. 23 ranking). I guess if you want to feel better about being in Loserville, the Boston Patriots have dropped like a rock since last year. Even though former, and currently deceased, NFL Commissioner Pete Roselle is happy with the mediocrity parity from year-to-year that he so much wanted, Coach does not like Loserville, he doesn’t want Loserville, and he won’t accept Loserville. OK, back to Washington, why did we lose? Firstly, let’s get the Ref’s out of the way. Yes, we got completely jobbed by the Ref’s and yet another CMIII roughing-the-passer call. But that’s not why we lost. …and don’t even get Coach started on the non-call when A-Rod got suplexed by Daron Payne (Click On Link) on the series before Matthews was flagged. Let’s also call out the other obvious things…2 turnovers including Cobb’s killer fumble at the end. Lance Kendricks dropping a gift pass up the middle. On defense we gave up several bombs down the field and had no answer. If Cobb and Kendricks catch the ball, we go home with a win and paper-over all the underlying problems. These were big problems, but not why we lost the game On this play (Click On Link) Kentrel Brice receives bonus points. Not only did he lose the ball in the air, he also knocked Jiree A out of the way. The real reason we got scalped by the Skin’s, barely beat the Bears, and were not victorious over the Vikings is very simple:
They sacked A-Rod 4 times for -25 yards. We ran the ball 17 times…they ran the ball 35 times. Let me repeat, they jammed the ball down our throats 35 times for 166 yards…having Adrian Peterson run for 120 yards and 2 TD’s on 19 carries is just not acceptable folks. …but ya know what? We actually average 5.9 yards per carry to the Skin’s 4.7 yards per…but we only ran it 17 times so it’s hard to rack-up the yards rushing. And when Smith did chuck the ball downfield, we put no pressure on him and our D-backs were falling down to the tune of giving up 11 yards per pass attempt! (Compared to our 5.9.) Having the 103 year-old Vernon Davis make 2 catches for 70 yards is just not OK. The first fricking drive was all AP & VD. This was the ghost of the 2012 season all over again. Alright, complicated concept coming up here:
This week Coach thought we should have look at the roster we’re putting on the field. The chart below has the whole roster evaluated, with ratings: Green Above average NFL player contributor Gray NFL average player, helps fill out the roster Yellow Below average NFL player Red Bad player or injured player (see also Nick Perry, Kevin King, Davon House and Muhammed Wilkerson) By Coach’s count, a full 1/3rd of the roster is useless. Either because they are below average, ineffective or injured all the time. All offseason the buzz was how the central part of the DL would dominate. No such luck so far….and now Wilkerson is on IR after he had his ankle destroyed. Montravious Adams is in his 2nd year, but the phenom touted last year has yet to show up. Kyler Fackerel has improved from “completely useless” to “below average, but not as bad as last year”. Coach graded Clark and Daniels as green, but arguable they are “just-a-guy” as well. Kevin King is a funny case. Remember him? The guy we traded down to get? We traded with the Browns to get out of the first round where we would have had TJ Watt, so that we could get King and a Beagle with the Brown’s 4th rounder. Remember his shoulder injuries last year? It all started in in college, He not only remembers being a freshman safety at Washington the first time his left shoulder popped out of its socket but also that it was Arizona State tailback Marion Grice that he hit. The hit left King with a dislocated left shoulder, and pain he can’t forget. “The first time it happened,” King said, “I thought I probably wasn’t going to play football again. That shit hurt.” The first time it happened. King’s shoulder has dislodged many times since. He rehabbed after that first injury, which required surgery to repair his labrum, and has had many dislocations since, which have become more and more frequent. King said his shoulder popped out more than 10 times last season, eventually forcing him to IR. He’s a long-armed corner with “loose limbs,” King said. He wonders if his body is naturally more prone to dislocations. “Initially once it happens,” King said, “I’ll go to the sideline and I really just try to get my strength back. As soon as I get my strength back, I can go back in. And then my adrenaline is pumping and stuff. It really doesn’t hurt that bad until the next day or two. “That’s when I feel like I’m ready to go on IR.” And we traded to get King? Yup…he really is the new Nick Perry The offensive line has a better group of starters, but no depth, and now the right side of the line is caving in. Bulaga is out with a back issue as of this writing and McCray seems to still be dealing with shoulder strength issues (Coach told you about the top-secret medical report on McCray last year). "Yikes! Coach, is everything really all doom and gloom?" Well yes and no. In Washington we got our asses handed to us. It was a complete team beat down. Let’s hope the old adage about the NFL is true, that no team is as good as it looks, and no team is as bad as it looks…. because last week, we stink, stank, stunk. The “no it’s not all bad” part is that JK Scott had another very good week punting, 5 for 232 and a 46.4 average AND Aaron Jones averaged 7 yards per carry (42 yds on 6 carries). Irony / i·ro·ny1 ˈīrənē/ noun
WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Mayfield Only 1 Win Away From Being Winningest Browns QB Of Decade CLEVELAND, OH – 2018’s top draft pick, Baker Mayfield, is approaching rarefied air. “Maybe the team just needed a kick in the pants” said the exuberant rookie from Oklahoma about leading his team to victory from a 14-point scoreless deficit to the NY Jets, after he came into the game replacing the injured starting QB (and future trivia answer) Tyrod Taylor. Mayfield played in the final 31:49 of the game and brought them back to win 21-17, including a pass he caught in the end zone for a 2-point conversion! As soon as he took the field, the linemen were blocking better, the RB’s were running harder, the receivers were making tough catches, and the defense held the Jets offense to only a FG. Mayfield brought an intangible “something” that seemingly made the already talented players around him play better and good enough to win. In an unrelated development, the New Orleans Saints are eagerly awaiting another devastating hurricane to inspire their team. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Longtime QB Thought Team Would Care More About His Last Day NASHVILLE, TN – The last time the Bears sat alone atop the NFC North division (granted, it’s only been 3 weeks and they’re 0-1 within the division), Jay Cutler was the quarterback. Cutler played for three NFL teams (Chicago, Denver, plus a 1-year post-retirement stint Miami) across his checkered career and is retired now, but was eager to provide perspective on his exit from Chicago. It turns out that “same ol’ Jay” has a lingering sore spot for that city and his former Bears teammates. Cutler claimed there was virtually nothing to distinguish his last day with the Bears from any other throughout his lengthy tenure in Chicago. He lamented that after his eight years of dedication to the organization, he had thought fellow Bears would be more emotionally invested in his departure. "I didn't expect gifts or anything,” said the 35-year-old Cutler, who described himself as the unofficial leader of that team. "But I didn't think I'd have to remind people it was my last day, either. I thought I built up a great relationship with those guys, and had been talking to them about my big move into a wealthy retirement for a few weeks before the 2016 season ended. I even had a countdown to my last day on the chalkboard, under the Sesame Street quote-of-the-day thing I did." Though a couple of assistant coaches wished him luck and asked what he intended to do in retirement, the longtime field general said it seemed as if they were just being polite as opposed to being genuinely interested in his future plans. Cutler said he would often get into long, in-depth discussions with the coaching staff about how much more money he made than them and what plays they should call. He added that he didn't expect anything too sentimental, but he was hoping there would be an acknowledgment of the fact that over the prior eight years something deeper than a typical contractual relationship had been established. His last head coach with the Bears, John Fox, when pressed for comment, simply said “Dipshit.” Udder Stuff - Commentary from the Badger Underground This was the game that both the Badgers and the Hawkeyes had circled on their calendars. The thorny path to Indy passes through Iowa City. Coaches & coordinators had all Winter, Spring and Summer to draw up un-scouted looks to unveil in this game, following 3 weeks of trying to adhere to vanilla gameplans. Top ten teams Michigan, Ohio State and almost Penn State fell victim to the Saturday night Iowa snake pit the last two seasons. This game was ultimately determined by 2 key points: 1. A distracted Hawkeye blocker (#You2SecondsAgo) inadvertently touched a Badger punt that Bucky immediately pounced on, resulting in a subsequent touchdown that brought Wisconsin back into the game when they had been suffering consecutive 3-and-outs. 2. A late game Wisconsin touchdown drive starting at their own 12 yard line. This scenario was very similar to that faced vs. BYU the week before. The play-calling was somewhat the same—get down the field into FG position, take a couple of shots at the end zone and if that fails, count on your FG kicker to send the game into overtime. The difference this week, other than a 50 degree drop in temperature on the field, was execution. No procedure calls, no Hornibrook neglecting to run for a first down with open space in front of him and a lapse in pass coverage by the opponent. The game-winning TD call was very similar to the same play run against Michigan and Iowa last year. A DB is forced to cover the TE running a post route, leaving a linebacker on the Badgers receiver. Up to the fourth quarter, the Badgers offensive game plan seemed to be “defensive line my ass.” Iowa came into the game with statistics to back up the fact that their defensive line was dominant. Wisconsin employed an extra 300 lb TE most of the game and ran Jonathon Taylor & Taiwan Deal repeatedly between the tackles. Both consistently picked up 4-7 yards per run, but never broke the big one. Iowa was forced to commit extra defenders, leaving DB’s in single coverage. This game plan worked for almost three quarters of the game because Iowa coaches up DB’s who can cover and tackle. Below is a photo of what safety help (and an under-thrown pass to an open receiver) looks like. If you found yourself cussing out Paul Chryst’s playcalling throughout much of the game, including the pass pictured above, you weren’t alone. Twice on 3rd & short during the first half, passes were made deep down the field, not caught and the drive was killed. Chryst does get credit for the 3rd down wheel route pass to the FB Ingold to set up the first TD. The Badgers have a tendency on 3rd & short to hand off to the FB for a quick hitter. Defensively, the two areas of concern coming into this season—the thin DL and the young secondary—got exploited by Iowa. The young DB’s committed multiple muggings and Iowa’s OL regularly road-graded Badgers defensive linemen. Van Ginkel was back on the field, but obviously not playing at 100%. The primary difference was big plays made by Connelly and Edwards, two linebackers who took a verbal beating in the film room all week over being out of position and failing to set the edge against BYU’s jet sweeps. Twice, Wisconsin got big third or fourth down stops in front of their own goal line. Alex Hornibrook takes a good deal of criticism for underthrowing receivers deep, lack of escapability and throwing picks. He did, however, pass for over 200 yards on 17 of 22 passing, with a couple of drops, three TD’s and no interceptions. Make no mistake, Hornibrook will likely never play a NFL snap (#JoelStave). He is an above-average college system QB. He elevated his game for the go-ahead drive. Iowa’s QB did not. We have two weeks to reflect on the Iowa win, which from a distance appears to be routine. With a weak Nebraska team coming into town following the bye, it is hoped that the players can keep their focus and avoid threesome opportunities with drunk co-eds. College Freshman Has Friend From Home Visiting Way Too Soon MADISON, WI—Baffled by the unusual pace of their classmate’s social involvement, residents at UW’s Sellery dormitory observed Friday that fellow student Matthew Robideaux had a friend from home visiting way too soon. “Well, okay. We’ve only been here a couple weeks, and Matt already has a high school buddy crashing in his dorm room. That’s just weird,” said floormate Bryan Rivers, noting that Robideaux’s friend lived nowhere even remotely close to their school and would have had to endure a six-hour drive from Bayfield just so he and Robideaux could sit in the common room and watch YouTube on a laptop. “Matt’s barely even done unpacking. He still carries a map of campus around with him, so I don’t know how he’s even trying to show his friend around. I overheard them comparing the sizes of their dorm rooms, so his friend just started college, too, but then why isn’t he there right now? Even if they’re dating, it’s too soon for a visit!” Dormitory sources further confirmed that Robideaux also began receiving care packages from his family after a mere week away from home. We’re Gonna Kick You’re A$$ - Predictions for the upcoming game There are several key reasons why the Packers are going to beat the Bills on Sunday... 1. Packers placed CB Davon House on injured reserve with a shoulder injury. Not that Coach likes to see any player hurt, but getting House off of the field will help reduce massive mistakes in the Secondary 2. The Pack have signed Bashaud Breeland. He officially joined the Green Bay Packers on Wednesday, one day after working out for the team and more than six months after the Packers had expressed interest in him as an unrestricted free agent. Breeland, 26, recorded 270 tackles, 60 pass deflections with eight interceptions (one returned for a touchdown) in his first four NFL seasons with Washington, which selected the 5-foot-11, 195-pound cornerback in the fourth round (102nd overall) of the 2014 NFL Draft. The fifth-year corner adds another versatile and experienced veteran to Green Bay’s defense, and hopefully is an upgrade over King and House. 3. We are overdue for a victory in general and for one over the Bills. They lead the series 8 wins to 4. 4. They are quitters. Buffalo Bills cornerback Vontae Davis quit during halftime of the game against the Chargers two weeks ago and retired from football afterward. According to Bills players and head coach Sean McDermott, Davis told teammates he was not playing the second half and was "done." According to one report, Davis even got changed and left the stadium. 5. We have finally figured out the new “how to tackle a QB rule. Coach has gotten advance access to the new NFL Film: “How To Properly Pull The Flag From A Quarterback” 6. The Bills once had Gary Marangi, Vince Ferragamo and Billy Jo Hobert as starting QB’s 7. Last, but most importantly, when the roster is below average, you need a few key people to step forward and make a positive difference. Coach is extremely confident that the team is going to start understanding and following the new direction on Defense and Offense, and that these guys will make a difference on Sunday: Time to dip into the kids’ college account and go large on the Vegas line: GPB 31 Buffalo Willies 17 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them If you have kids with athletic skills around these parts, then you probably are familiar with the Don Beebe House of Speed. It’s that area behind the chain-link fence of a shared Ashwaubenon sports complex building with all the weights, cones and large rubber bands that nobody ever uses when you’re there to watch your teenage daughter playing in a tournament on the neighboring volleyball courts or your grammar school daughter on the parallel bars and trampolines in the gymnastics room in the back. OK, so Beebe is clearly cleaning drug money for a Mexican drug cartel, but was he a good player in the NFL? You betcha. Don Beebe was an undersized receiver (5’-11” 185-lbs) and FIB from Auroras, Illinois who had elite 40-yard dash speed marked at 4.21 seconds. Despite his pedestrian career numbers (219 receptions, 3,416 yards, 23 touchdowns), he played in a whopping 6 Super Bowls. He infamously lost 4 consecutive Super Bowls as part of the Buffalo Bills before coming to Green Bay to win his 1st NFL championship in Super Bowl XXXI against the Patriots. You’re welcome, Don. So, what was different the 5th time around? Was the talent in Green Bay (Brett Favre, Andre Rison, Desmond Howard, Reggie White) better than that in Buffalo (Jim Kelly, Andre Reed, Thurman Thomas, Bruce Smith)? That’s debatable. I say it was the comradery that the ’96 Packers team had on and OFF the field. Check out this remarkable Halloween home video of Beebe, Favre and Frankie “Bag of Doughnuts” Winters pranking coach Mike Holmgren when they take their kids trick-or-treating to his house with masks on. It’s must-see TV for all Packers fans. Oh, and Don, we salute you!
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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