Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: Wisconsinites can handle a shitty Packers season… When Coach lived in California, the plethora of morons out there would say that people from Wisconsin follow the Packers so closely because “there is nothing else to do ‘back there’.” Well, despite what people from California think, there is PLENTY of things to do in Wisconsin besides follow the Packers. In fact, I wish the Packers played only when lake ice is melting because that’s about the only week or two each year that I have open. Starting with the present, there’s… • Bow hunting (bear / deer) starts
At some point Erin Rodgers will be replaced by Jordan Love. There will probably be some growing pains to ride out, as there were with Rodgers, and with Favre, and even with Bart Starr (I imagine), but we can handle it. We’ve got plenty of other great things to keep our attention in Wisconsin (Mrs. Coach would say too many – and, you guessed it, she’s from California) besides the Packers. But, still, they better F’ing win anyway! …at least, in my humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Awww right … we finally won in SF!! Wait what, I thought we won there last year(?) … Yes, we got the W, but much like Robin Yount diving for a routine fly ball in the 9th inning with 2 outs to preserve Juan Nieves’ no-hitter in 1987, we made the W look much more difficult than it was. After controlling and leading the entire game, we let SF score with 0:37 left in the 4th to go up 28-27. As you already know, two AR to DA passes got Mason in range to kick a 51-yard walk-off. But what you may not know is how we led for the entire game … simply put, a lot of little stuff. With Eglington Jenkins out at Left Tackle, that left us with 4 OL who had never played in a true road game and Yosh Nijman making his first ever start (just a handful of real game snaps previously). Yosh played a nice game, but he was also helped by his friends. On A-Jones TD just before the Half, WR Alan Lazard (#13) blocks down on all-pro Nick Bozo and seals the edge allowing the score. Not to be outdone, a little later in the game Bobby Tunyen does an ear-hole job on Nick Bozo and puts him on his ass. This, dear readers, is exactly the kind of football we like! Coach, you’re saying that we controlled the game but almost lost? Yes Jimmy, that’s true. OK, we got jobbed by the Ref’s several times in this game, but we did win… It’s hard not to feel like we get more than our fair share of bad calls … ya know? (Please ignore John Runyan Jr.’s blatant holding that wasn’t called on the critical completion with 37 seconds left in game, I’m trying to make a point here.) We were up 17-0 late in the 2nd Qtr when Jimmy G spiked the ball to avoid a sack. Maybe SF would have scored anyway, we’ll never know, but leaving the ball on the goal-line for them was inexcusable. Apparently, Coach Matt LF didn’t seem to agree with the call… But how did SF get in that position? Aaron Jones scored with 1:02 left in the 2nd Qtr to put us up 17-0. No problem! Right? Let’s grind down the clock and end the half! Right? Fat chance. The historical record reveals that God’s Chosen might have completely overshot Israel if the Packers were providing Kick-Coverage for Pharaoh. Take a look at this a few times … SF did nothing special at all, this is 100% a case of us not being disciplined in our lane coverage on the kick. Absolutely disgusting and putrid. If we did our job on the kick coverage the Niner’s would not have been in position to threaten the goal line, let alone score a TD before half. But there is another point to make on this KO return. Yeah, he is on a streak of a hundred-and-billion-ninety kicks in a row or something like that ... but look at the angle he takes on making the tackle. Crosby corners the runner along the sideline and then times his tackle perfectly. So maybe there’s hope for Special Teams? Yes, there is hope…. SF had just gone ahead 28-27 with 37 seconds left in the game. On the ensuing kick-off, SF kicked it out of the EZ, not running any time off the clock. In SF this week the fans and media have gone crazy, questioning the clock management … When asked why they kicked out of the EZ, the Niners Special Teams Coordinator cited Kylin Hill’s 50 yard run back against the Lions last week. That’s right kids … the Niners were afraid of our return game … a sign of good times ahead. (That was a yummie sip of Kool-Aide.) WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up New Study Proves Referees Are Totally Biased Against Your Team CAMBRIDGE, MA—Sports researchers at Harvard have proven that the officials are totally biased against your favorite teams. Their report, entitled the Referee Equity and Fairness (REF) study, will be published next month in Sports Illustrated. Dr. James Arnot, the lead researcher on the study for more than two decades, said the results were hardly surprising. “We always suspected the refs were against you, but now we have empirical evidence to back up our hypothesis,” he noted. “The REF study proves that the referees, umpires, judges, and other officials at all levels of sport are most definitely always biased against your favorite teams.” The study, which was the first of its kind, looked at thousands of sporting events since the year 2000. Researchers interviewed hundreds of players, coaches, and fans of all teams involved and asked them to rate the fairness of the officials on anonymous surveys. “We found strong evidence of referee bias against your teams in every single survey,” Arnot noted. “This was true at every level, from pee-wee to the pros, and even at the Olympics. Whichever teams you were rooting for, the refs were definitely against them. Honestly, we’re not sure why nobody picked up on this before.” Arnot also said referee bias is almost certainly the reason why your team didn’t make the playoffs last year, and why your fantasy team is doing so poorly. Now that the REF study is concluded, Arnot said researchers will turn their attention to figuring out whether the broadcasters calling the game on TV are actively rooting against your favorite teams as well. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof What happened to every Chicago Bears QB drafted in the first round? CHICAGO—The Chicago Bears just don’t have a great track record when it comes to quarterbacks. It is that one position they just can’t solve throughout their team’s history. Time will tell if this year’s attempt, Justin Field, is any good, but Bears fans would be wise to not hold their breath. Here is a rundown of what has happened to every Bears quarterback taken in the first round in Chicago history. 1. Sid Luckman, 1939 Luckman went No. 2 overall to the Bears. The former Columbia product was a five-time All-Pro and NFL MVP. Luckman led Chicago to four NFL Championships and was the passing champ in 1943, 1945, and 1946. He was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1965. Things went downhill for the Bears from there. (Note: Coach sat in Luckman’s in the 4th row 50-yd line seats at Soldiers Fields in 1997 after the Packers won the Super Bowl, right behind the Packers bench – awesome.) 2. Frankie Albert, 1941 While the Bears had Luckman, they drafted Albert from Stanford. However, the United States would enter World War II by December of ’41, and Albert spent the war serving in the Navy. When he got out in 1946, he landed with the San Francisco 49ers and was Y.A. Tittle’s predecessor. 3. Johnny Lujack, 1946 Lujack effectively took over as the Bears’ quarterback in 1949, and he had a short, journeyman-effectiveness career. The Bears never played in an NFL Championship Game while Lujack was the starting quarterback. 4. Bobby Layne, 1948 Layne didn’t want to play for the Pittsburgh Steelers, who had the No. 3 overall pick. George Halas was able to convince Layne to play for Chicago. The eventual Hall-of-Famer was in the Windy City for only one season as he was the third-stringer behind Luckman and Lujack. Layne tried to go to the Green Bay Packers, but Halas traded him instead to the New York Bulldogs in 1949. Layne would end up with the Detroit Lions from 1950-58 before a midseason trade to the Steelers, where he would play for the very club he didn’t want to be with originally. 5. Bob Williams, 1951 Williams was a star out of Notre Dame and Chicago drafted him with the No. 2 overall pick. In his rookie year, Williams did not start at quarterback and went 14-of-33 for 146 yards and a touchdown while the Bears went 7-5. In 1952, Williams compiled a 3-4 record as Chicago again failed to compete for the championship with a 5-7 record. Williams’ last season was 1955 where he didn’t start and Chicago went 8-4 with no championship game appearance. 6. Jim McMahon, 1982 Chicago took the BYU quarterback with the No. 5 overall pick. Benefitting from a dominant Defense in 1985, McMahon started in the Super Bowl that they won that season. He never started more than nine games in Chicago after injuring his rotator cuff the following year, and his career there ended in the 1989 offseason after a falling out with coach Mike Ditka and ownership. McMahon’s final two seasons were as Brett Favre’s backup with the Packers, winning a second Super Bowl ring after the 1996 season. 7. Jim Harbaugh, 1987 The Bears drafted Harbaugh with the No. 26 overall pick. When Chicago offloaded McMahon in 1989, Harbaugh went 1-4 as Mike Tomczak took the majority of the starts. In 1991, Harbaugh produced an 11-4 record, but Chicago lost at home in the wild-card round to the Dallas Cowboys. The Bears started falling apart in the last year of Dikta and the first year of Dave Wannstedt, which led to Harbaugh signing with the Indianapolis Colts in 1994 free agency. The following year Harbaugh led the Colts to the AFC Championship Game, and a follow up wild-card appearance the year after. 8. Cade McNown, 1999 Chicago drafted McNown with the No. 12 overall pick from UCLA. McNown went 3-12 over his solitary two seasons with the Bears, producing a 16-19 touchdown to interception ratio. Chicago traded McNown to the Miami Dolphins in 2001, but they never started him in a game. 9. Rex Grossman, 2003 The No. 22 overall pick from Florida was limited to seven starts through his first three seasons. In 2006, Grossman was along for the ride as the Bears defense and returner Devin Hester led the Bears to a 13-3 record and the No. 1 seed in the NFC. Chicago lost to the Colts in Super Bowl XLI. Grossman started eight games over the next two years for Chicago before signing as a backup to Matt Schaub with the Houston Texans in 2009. 10. Mitchell Trubisky, 2017 It’s not Trubisky’s fault the Bears traded up 4 years ago from the number 3 pick in the draft to the number 2 pick and selected this one-season starter at North Carolina instead of Patrick Mahomes or Deshaun Watson. Trubisky fell into an NFC North title in 2018 when Packers incompetent head coach Mike McCarty and diva QB Aaron Rodgers had an infamous falling out amidst the support of a Defense that couldn’t stop a wall. The Bears lost at home in the 1st round of the playoffs that year and Trubisky is now Josh Allen’s backup with the Buffalo Bills. Yes, that last 1st round QB selection was only 4-years ago. So why did they feel the need to move up in the draft again to take another QB in the 1st round this year? Well, because the Bears still suck. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Battle of the Over-Rated’s We haven’t seen Graham Mertz throw this many TD’s since his 1st start against Illinois, except this time they were to the opposing team. We yearn for the days of Curt Phillips. Does Danny O’Brien have any eligibility left? Pinning this loss entirely on Mertz would be unfair. Working through your progressions isn’t easy when the pocket collapses play after play and the running game gets blown up all day. Play calling didn’t exactly put Mertz in a position to win. The sideline shot of a slack-jawed Paul Chryst is losing it’s charm. Over and over again we saw the same exact play on the same down and distance, time after time – it was only a matter of time until Notre Dame jumped the routes. Badgers fans have been clamoring for matchups like Wisconsin vs. Notre Dame for years and when we finally get it, we put the bed-shitters on display. Wisconsin football has turned into Nebraska. :-( We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game The Steelers are coming in at 1-2 and look like a wounded animal. Mind you, not quite like the wounded Lions were. BTW – the Lions are now categorically the best 0-3 team in the league. They will prove the Bears to be the worst 1-3 team in the League come Sunday. Now you are edified, carry on with your day. So, back to the Stillers... They are averaging 16.7 points per game on Offense, and they too have had an offseason QB controversy. After intense scrutiny Big Ben admitted that he has focused his off-season work on imitating Will Ferrell and hopes that he can be a stand-in on Saturday Night Live. At press time it was unclear if Ben was aware that Ferrell left SNL in 2002. Isn’t it strange that 20 years ago on SNL, Will Ferrell looked like the age he is now? And today, just like Coach, he pretty much looks the same as he did 20 years ago. SNL has sucked ever since he left, but I digress… On Defense they are giving up 22 points/game and they have a number of injuries. Yes, he should have been here instead of trading back and picking Kevin King in the 2017 draft … no point in going there … maybe we’ll have him for a year or two at the end of his career. No matter, we are going to win this weekend because the team has progressively gotten better every week and that trend will continue. *If you don’t understand the reference, then you are not truly a Packer fan. Go back and study SB XLV and call Coach in the morning to see if you will be allowed back into the fan-base. The Packers are gonna win for a lot of reasons, but an important one is the improvement of the Defensive Line. Kenny Clark will easily repeat his 82 snaps from last week (say whah?), and Keke Kingsbury hopefully will never see the field again… The only new UDFA to make this years’ team was DL Jack Heflin. He had his first 4 snaps in the NFL on Special Teams last week … and Coach guarantees that he will play more than a handful of snaps on D this week. Described as a “trashcan full of dirt” by an NLF scout, Jack Dirt is gonna make a few tremendous plays on D this week and be a difference maker in the win! Book it Danno … Pack by 14. Packers 31 Steelers 17 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them Above Coach mentioned the Bears have drafted a total of 11 quarterbacks in their century-plus of football, so that got me wondering if the Packers have drafted that many as well. Nope ... only 7. On average, the Packers draft a QB in the 1st round approximately every 15 years, whereas the Bears do it approximately every 9. So who’d we take? Vito “Babe” Parilli has been the subject of Coach’s references in numerous prior episodes, so no need to regurgitate that here. Randy Duncan never even played for Green Bay, despite being the #1 overall draft pick in 1959. Duncan went to Canada to play for the British Columbia Lions, who paid more money than what Green Bay was willing to dole out. Rich Campbell has been the subject of a prior JB article, so feel free to look up Coach Clarahanson archives if he strikes your fancy. So that leaves us with Jerry Tagge or Don Horn. Hmmmm … Horn or Tagge? … Tagge or Horn? …Well, since Tagge played NFL football ONLY for the Packers, and he’s FROM GREEN BAY, I guess he gets the nod. As a teenager in the mid-1960s, Tagge sold concessions at Lambeau Field during Packers games, then coached by Vince Lombardi. He graduated from Green Bay West High School in 1968, and went on to play QB for the Nebraska Cornhuskers where he led them to consecutive national championships in 1970 and 1971. It’s safe to say that was Jerry Tagge’s high water mark. In the NFL, Jerry Tagge was bad. Real bad. So bad that after 3 years with the Packers the team was willing to mortgage their future (a.k.a. the rest of the 1970s) to replace him... Halfway through the 1974 season, after announcing that veteran QB Jack Concannon, Tagge's backup, would start the upcoming Sunday against the Lions in Detroit, head coach Dan Devine obtained veteran John Hadl from the Los Angeles Rams for five – count ’em, FIVE draft choices and waived the Packers' other quarterback, Dean Carlson. Hadl, 34, and in his 13th season of pro ball, was expensive. To get him, the Packers gave up 1st, 2nd and 3rd round choices in the next draft, and a 1st and 2nd choice in 1976. ...which basically was the 2nd worst trade in history, behind Minnesota giving 5 players and 6 draft picks to Dallas for Herschel Walker (including Jesse Solomon, Isiac Holt, Emmitt Smith, Russell Maryland, Kevin Smith, and Darren Woodson.). But I digress… Jerry Tagge didn’t start any games his 1972 rookie season (not a sin), but did play in four games. The following 2 years, he was the starter at the beginning of each season and played in about half of the games. Those were some lean years…(Ready?): Three TD’s and 17 picks. Ouch. Tagge’s 18-game career 50-years ago was roughly the extent of playing 1 current NFL season, and his QB rating over that “season” was a measly 44.2. Imagine how bad that is. Thank God we’re not Bears fans that have to live through it on a regular basis. The good news? Granddaughter Shelby Tagge is a “dancer” that has become somewhat popular in small venues with cozy seating and shiny poles. Alas, more bad news for the Tagge’s in recent days, though…
Deputies and paramedics responded to a 911 call last Saturday after a dancer at a South Florida adult entertainment club fell from a 12-foot pole, the Fort Lauderdale Herald-Times reported. Broward County Sheriff’s Office spokesperson Velma Doleman-White told the Herald-Times that the caller said the injury occurred about two hours before the 911 call. The woman, identified as Shelby Tagge, was taken to an area hospital with non-life-threatening injuries to her neck, pelvis and anus, although it was unclear if those injuries were related to the fall. I guess the acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree. Good luck, Jerry.
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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