Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: Gun deer season should always have Away games Despite the outcome of Sunday night’s game, all in all I’d have to say the scheduling gods did a pretty nice job this year taking Wisconsin deer hunters into consideration. Normally Coach has to sacrifice a Sunday in the woods to head back to Lambeau, which can be dicey with an unexpectedly long blood trail tracking jaunt after dusk on opening day. Sometimes you gotta call it a night and continue the search in the morning, and those Green Bay noon kick-offs opening weekend can really put a guy under pressure. Packer games should always be Away games during gun deer season. Ideally, as was the case this year, a Sunday night game on the road would be preferred, although a Monday night Away game would also suffice. (Mind you, though, Thanksgiving day games in Detroit are not as desirable, as Vince Lombardi decreed over 50 years ago.) I lost no hunting or game-watching opportunities on opening weekend. As an added bonus, with the next game scheduled in New York I don’t have to worry about traveling to Lambeau from deer camp on the 2nd weekend either. …and with the beauty of Al Gore’s internet invention, I can watch the battle against the New York football Giants this weekend from the woods on my phone! I realize that not EVERY single gun deer season can accommodate two Away games for the Packers; so if we gotta play a home game that week, I say restrict it to the 2nd weekend. Even better, make that 2nd weekend home game a Gold Package game. People from Milwaukee are shitty hunters anyways (Click On Link). …At least, in my humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Here the “The Defensive Highlight” of the game… Here the “The Offensive Highlight” of the game… If you don’t want to read anymore, just have a look below at Robert Saleh vs. his one-time roommate Petite Fleur. San Francisco averaged 7.5 yards per play Rodgers was 10-of-20 for 41 yards in the 1st Avg = 2.05 yards/attempt, lowest of his career This is the summary of the game. Coach simply observes that this late in the Season the Offense was supposed to be jelling. Instead, the Rookie Coach, who has surrounded himself with inexperienced friends, seems to have gotten himself confused after a little bit of success. In this episode we’ll break down some of the, well, breakdowns on Offense, Defense and Special Teams…and hopefully find that they are correctable. Look, SF has a damn good defense, playing at home in Prime Time and tired of hearing how at 9-1 “they hadn’t played anyone” … it’s no surprise that they were fired up for the game and wanted to kick some ass. You have to give Petite Chat his due, nobody expected the Rookie Coach to have the Packers at 8-3 entering Wk 12. …but are the Niners so good they should kick our ass into next month? No. Nobody, I mean nobody, expected Petite Chat to look so outmatched going against his roommate, his brother and he best friend (Saleh, his brother and Kyle Shanahan, respectively). This kind of body language for a Coach at any level was awful and it was clear by the 2nd Qtr he had no answers for anything the Niners were doing in any phase of the game. Die-hard Packer fans have undoubted been reading all about “the Davante factor” all week… 2019 Packers thru Gm 12 Without Davante: 4-0 {avg 32.5 pts/gm} With Davante: 4-3 {avg 18.2 pts/gm} You’ve read all about how Aaron Jones touches and scoring were up during that 4-0 stretch (6.2 catches and 70 yards/gm, 77 touches overall and 551 yards), and you’ve read about how AR holds the ball longer to “wait” for Davante in the pedestrian 4-3 games (A Jones 1 catch for minus-1-yard in the last 3 games, 35 touches for 160 yards before that). Coach isn’t going to go through all of the gory details again here, he just simply observes that if AR and Petite Chat get their heads out of their collective asses, there is hope for the Offense down the stretch. Rodgers went embarrassingly bad 0-of-14 on third downs, holding the ball too long on many snaps. OK kids let’s have a more detailed look at the game, particularly the 1st half. Both teams actually had 8 drives, a lot more than the average of 4 or 5 per team per half in the NFL. On the bright side, apart from huge f’ng mistakes, the Defense played will, holding the Niners to 3.8 yards per play. On the other hand, our Offense was a disaster. Every single drive had a significant mistake! The game was over at the end of the 1st Half, the Niners were up 23-0. They scored on 5 of their 8 drives, we punted (poorly) 6 times, fumbled and stupidly went for it on 4th down (again) and gave up a probable 3-points. In the drive chart above, Coach has tried to capture a few of the key mistakes/events as an aide-memoire for you, the erudite reader (look it up). The first half could easily be made into a novel the length and complexity of The Brothers Karamazov, but let’s make it simple: Davante Adams got jobbed by the Refs on a Phantom Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty on the play (Seriously? His chest bumping a defender deserves a penalty equal to spearing a defenseless player in the helmet?) after the “Offensive Highlight” above… After a couple of incompletions, SF pins their ears back, our OL doesn’t block, SF covers Lazard (the hot read for the blitz) and AR holds the ball leading to the only turnover… SF is now setup at 1st & Goal on the 1, we trot out our “Goal Line Stand” Defense…. which in the good old days of yore would generally consist of lots of big guys…but Tevin Coleman had pretty much air to run against… Watch this GIF several times and many disturbing things emerge; it’s truly a LOL (cry-out-loud?) moment to observe Dean Lowry stumbling backwards into the picture after the TD and OLB Smith in the background, otherwise it’s a whole lot of small-fast guys getting pushed out of the frame… Arguably the game was over at this point. In the 8 games we won, we started-fast/scored-first and got turnovers. No dice on this day. Throw in a couple punts (really bad ones) and we gave them great field position for a coupla easy field goals. Not quite yet “the Dagger” but getting close… On the following drive we had arguably our last opportunity to salvage a game competitive, but it was missed by the Rookie HC. On 3rd and 8 at our own 34, Jimmy G makes a catch that the blind zebras whiffed on, but Petite Fleur did not challenge. It would have kept the drive alive and at minimum pushed SF back further on the subsequent FG drive. Rather than 13-0, challenge this call and the score could have still been 10-3…or maybe even we score and it’s 10-6 or 10-10. Yeah, wudda, cudda, shudda. The point being any NFL game hangs on just a few plays and smart game management (#McCarthyFiredForLowFootballIQ). The eye-ball test says we were manhandled on the O & D Lines, but none-the-less we had opportunities to make this a competitive game. Ignore the fact that the 2nd Half opened fantastic for the Pack. We held the Niners to a 3-and-out and we came back and scored a TD and a 2-point conversion. Both to Davante, both firsts from him this year. With the score now 23-8 (instead of us being at least tied, mind you), you no-doubt were thinking “Maybe, just maybe, we can climb back in this thing!” Nope. On the subsequent drive SF picked up 14 yards on 1st down and then the game was truly over with the 61-yard completion to TE Kittle. This just in, we can’t cover Tight Ends. Ooops! That was Travis Kelce in Kansas City a couple of weeks ago. The 61-yarder against the Niner’s is THIS one… (Sigh.) The D-Backs are in “Quarters” (4 across Zone DE) and the Safeties (Amos-and-Andy) get sucked-up on the run fake. Kittle is now running wide open over the middle, and the CB’s King and Alexander turn and try to play catch the TE (to be clear, the TD is not their fault). Ahh, for the love-of-Fritz-Shurmur, what the hell is going on out there? We’ll come back to Fritz and the progeny of his siblings in the Giants section below, but let’s just say that Fritz used the K-I-S-S rule, keep-it-simple-stupid. Much like Robert Saleh does for the Niners. A simple 4-3-4 concept, with typically a 4-2-5 Nickel Defense. Pretty much the same as Fritz. If it ain’t broke, …. Just sayin. Coach would be remiss if he didn’t share observations of the, well, coaching… I’m already getting tired of hearing LaFleur’s politically correct, Murphy-approved press conference responses after losses. They were okay after the first two L’s, but the push of the replay button after the 3rd loss is getting tougher to listen to over and over again, sorta like Luke Bryan’s “Huntin', Fishin' & Lovin' Every Day” song. Or any song by Luke Bryan for that matter. But I digress... Melissa McCarthy had plenty of weak assistants, OL Coach was not on the list. Coach has no doubt that Adam Stenavich is a good friend of Petite Fleur. But he’s equally sure that the 2019 Packers OL, and particularly LT Baktiari has gone backwards. His coaching career started in 2011 on the Michigan Staff as a strength and conditioning intern and was promoted to offensive graduate assistant coach 2012. WTF? After stints as double-secret-under-assistant-offensive-line-observer-coach at Northern Arizona, San Jose State and Indiana State, he was named Under-Assistant-OL Coach in SF in 2018; then, Petite Fleur gives him his first shot at OL. Rookie Head Coach, Rookie OL Coach, facing his old team, who has 4 DL selected in the 1st round. Rodgers was sacked five times (at least three Rodgers held the ball too long), we couldn’t run, and they won in a knockout. What’s not to like? They may both grow into their jobs, but this was a huge hiring mistake by Petite Chat. Switching to Special-Ed Teams, after seven weeks JK Scott was averaging 49.2 yards per punt with a net of 44.4. Between Weeks 8-10, though, Scott averaged a pedestrian 36.3 yards per punt with a net of just 34.7. As bad as we are at punting, punt returns are worse… Thirty-one NFL teams have at least 40 total punt return yards this season. Thirty-one NFL teams have a long punt return of at least 10 yards. Thirty-one NFL teams average at least 3 yards per punt return. The 32nd team in all three categories: the Green Bay Packers. We have NEGATIVE 11 total punt return yards through 12 games. The Packers longest punt return this year went for a single yard. WTF? Only once in the past 37 years of the NFL’s 16-game regular season did a team finish with fewer than 100 total punt return yards. The 2015 San Diego Chargers had 84. The Cardinals hold the record for fewest punt return yards in a single season, with 27 in 1965, when they were based in St. Louis. The 2019 Packers are on pace to finish with minus 14. Looking at our ST Coordinator’s experience: Why TF was this guy hired? He was the Special Teams ASSISTANT Coordinator on teams that were a collective 24-88 when he was there! I hope I’m wrong about this, but I suspect ST will be the demise that prevents us from winning the division and bounces us out in the 1st round of the playoffs. To that end, however, Mark Murphy will call it a "successful season" and tout the significant turnaround of the team by his personal selection for head coach. Man I hate being right all the time. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Matthew Stafford Admits He’d Play Through Back Injury For Better Team Than Lions DETROIT—Leading up to their annual “Super Bowl” game on Thanksgiving, Lions injured quarterback Matthew Stafford admitted he wasn’t going to risk discomfort for the team he was drafted by 11 seasons ago. In that time, he has taken the Lions to the playoffs three times, going a dreary 0-3. “No fricken way.” he said, “It’s not like this team is worth it. Maybe if we had a shot at winning in the playoffs once in a while like half the other NFL teams, but I’m not gonna do it for these ass clowns.” The QB finished his press conference in a peculiar manner by misapplying a famous anonymous quote intended to inspire injured athletes. Stafford proclaimed “Today I will do what others won’t so tomorrow I can do what others can’t.” Either way, it makes sense. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Local Hero Tackles, Detains AR-15 CHICAGO—The unseasonably warm weather in Chicago this past weekend almost turned a gleeful lakeside stroll into a horrific incident. An attempted shooting took place in broad daylight along the pathway of Grant Park, but luckily a hero was close by to intervene and prevent another Windy City tragedy. Mike Oxtuc stopped his walk short and managed to tackle the shooter’s AR-15 to the ground. He pinned it on the lawn until authorities arrived and even kicked it a few times for good measure, though it did not appear to be resisting in the least bit. Bewildered, the shooter shrugged and slowly backed away. “Honestly, I was kinda hoping to make a name for myself. You know, like Jussie Smollet,” he told reporters later. “But everyone just blamed the gun. So… well, I guess I won’t be famous after all.” “At this point, we aren’t looking for any more suspects,” an FBI official told reporters as the AR-15 was read its rights. “It seems the AR-15 acted entirely of its own volition.” Adding “The weapon is obviously a menace that needs to locked up to prevent any further harm.” Some onlookers clapped, while others could be heard hurling admonishing jeers and taunts toward gun as it was hauled away in the back of a police cruiser. According to CDC mortality statistics, of the several hundred gun deaths that occur in Chicago each year, up to 75% are caused by a rogue assault rifle, shotgun, or handgun. “Despite the nation’s strictest gun laws, it’s a huge problem in Chicago that needs to be addressed before these guns act out,” a CDC spokeswoman said. “It’s 3 p.m. Do you know where your assault rifle is?” she cautioned. As for the shooter, he has purportedly decided not to use any type of gun for his next attempted mass killing so that he will “…get full credit for it, like the Tsarnaev brothers,” to which every Chicago politician responded, “Who?” ADVERTISEMENT – Are You Living With A FIB? You no longer need to risk suffering dangers like heart attack or stroke from having to live with an S.O.B. bastard from Illinois, because now there is Xerelto! 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Wisconsin has enjoyed a resurgence of its running game due to lesser competition, Iowa’s unwillingness to pack defenders between the tackles, and running jet sweeps & fake jet sweeps to deter defenses from packing the middle of the field. So it’s on to Minnie. This is the oldest continuous rivalry in NCAA Division 1 football, and the 128th meeting of these two teams which started in 1890. It is one of the truest rivalries considering that after all these meetings the series is tied at 60-60-8. Last year the Goofs won for the 1st time in the last 15 years. This year they are looking good and this game is the first one in our lifetime in which the winner wins a division of conference. Historically, Minnesota had great teams before 1940. They have 7 national championships. They think they are hot shit now and have a lot of people in agreement. True, this squad will pose more of a threat to Bucky than usual and it is always a good game. Before we get too worried, though, remember Bucky is favored by 2.5 on the road (despite being ranked 12 versus MN’s #8). We predict Lee Corso will be donning the Bucky head gear before the game although Kirk will be picking (wrongly) the Goofs. Anything less than Paul Westerberg as the guest picker will be a disappointment. MN has racked up an impressive record against a weak schedule, except for the Penn State win where Penn State’s CB inexplicably stopped covering receivers 15 yards into their routes. The Gophers have two thousand yard receivers and their QB is ranked 2nd in the conference. Again, stats against an easy schedule. They run a spread offense, something that our defense has had difficulty figuring out. Defensively, they defend the pass better than they defend the run. With a rain/snow mix falling and winds blowing 15-25 mph, our vulnerability to the pass will be somewhat negated. We won’t lose as much with the passing game as will the Gophers. Our offensive strength is running the football and our defensive strength is stopping the run. We think MN will choke with the national spotlight on them. Bucky 34 - Goofs 21. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game The Packers lead the all-time series with the Giants, 33-26-2, including 28-23-2 in the Regular Season and 5-3 playoffs….AR is 4-2 Regular Season and 1-1 in the Playoffs. The last two Playoff Losses, 2007 NFC Championship (Brent Faver) and 2011 Divisional Round were killers and Eli Manning is the only QB to have beaten both Favre and Rodgers in the playoffs. Both of his teams beat the Pats in the Super Bowls of those years, too. We were heavily favored both times and the Tom Coughlin/Baby Manning teams were barely above 0.500 in the Regular Season. As you the loyal reader know, Coach obsesses on arcane statistics, and he usually goes back 30 years to make statistical comparisons with Super Bowl Winners. What is interesting, to Coach anyway, is that those two Giants teams are complete outliers. They are the exception that proves the rule and they are the two that give hope to the “just get into the playoffs” sentiment. Take those two teams out of the data base and the stats skew much more to “defense wins championships” and “scoring more points than the other guy” is key to winning. Speaking of that, where are the 2019 Packers after the Beat-Down-On-SF-Bay? Well, we have our nose above water at a positive 1.5-point differential, tied with Houston for 12th ranking. The graph below has a lot of data, so let Coach explain a bit before your head explodes. The graph plots the 2019 NFL Season, Point Differential vs. Wins. The X-Axis shows the number of team wins through Wk12 (11 games for most teams) and the Y-Axis shows the Average-Point-Differential-per-Game (offensive points – defensive points). The green dashed horizontal line is the median point differential of SB Winners (50% above, 50% below) and the red dashed horizontal line is the floor. 90% of SB winners have had a point differential above this level of 4.3 points. Obviously, there is a big correlation between scoring more points than the other guy and the number of wins you have. A team that is “above-the-line” is “unlucky” in that they have been beating teams by a bigger margin than their record shows. The opposite if true if a team is below-the-line. In the case of the Pats, Ravens and Niners, they are “unlucky” and arguable should be undefeated. The Dolphins are way below the line and should have lost about 50 games so far, but somehow have won twice. The Packers are “lucky” so far, as the graph, the formula Coach discussed last week, and the eye-ball test, all agree. They say that we have a 0.500 team right now. We have played an unusually large percentage of games at home in the 1st half of the season, and have been incredibly healthy so far, both of which have helped the Rookie Coach tremendously (see also: 2018 Chicago Bears who went 12-4). We are a little bit better than the last two years, but not a dominant team no matter how good 8-3 sounds. So how we gonna beat the Giants? This game is a git-right-game. We gonna git-right or this season is headed south in a hurry. The Giants started the 2019 Season 0-2 after getting killed by the Cowboys and the Bills, so they benched Baby Manning and decided to roll out the new kid, 1st Round Pick Daniel Jones from Duke. There was some optimism after winning their first two games with Jones under center, but the Giants then went on an extended losing streak to sit at 2–9 after week 12. He’s got a passer rating of 87.8, with 17 TD’s and 8 Int’s, and it looks like his teammates think he’s a good leader. Any objective observer can at least agree he is much better than Mitchell Trubisky ever was. Who knows, he could be dangerous, but this is the kind of opportunity for the D to get back on track and the Offense to spread it around. The Giants are coached by Fritz Shurmur’s nephew, Pat. Pat Shurmur is in his 2nd year and obviously he has fallen far from the Fritz gene pool tree. He has the Giants ranked 29th in passing, 13th in yds/rush, 24th in Scoring and 29th in Scoring D. The 2019 season is the New York Giants' 95th in the National Football League, their 10th playing their home games at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. They are attempting to improve on their 5–11 campaign from last year, but only have 5 games left to win 4 if they are going to do that. Pat’s uncle Fritz Shurmur was an NFL coach for 24 years, and was Coach’s favorite all-time Defensive Coordinator of the Packers, running a base 4-3-4 scheme. The Defensive scheme that the Chargers, Niners, and Eagles (the representative “3” in our 8-3 record) all use today is based on Fritz’s D. Giants fans have good reason to be nervous about this Sunday’s game… The Packers Git-Right! Packers 31 Giants 14 Chevon McNuggets - G.O.A.T. facts to chew on JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them The first NFL draft occurred in 1937. Naturally, the Packers’ first pick ever was a University of Wisconsin player, Eddie Jankowski, from Milwaukee. This 5’9” fullback played all 4 backfield positions for Wisconsin, and was a fullback for the Pack for five years behind the famous Clark Hinkle. He also filled in a bit at linebacker. A defensive highlight of Eddie’s career was a 27-yard pick-6 against the Bears at Wrigley Field in 1937 in a game in which the Packers naturally won (way back then it was just “The Bears Suck!” and not “The Bears STILL Suck” of today). Due to the tight quarters at Wrigley, Eddie ran headfirst into the brick wall at the corner of the endzone. It was an incident long remembered by those who saw it. “There were only two things he could do,” said Dr. W.W. Kelly, the Packers’ team physician and longtime board member. “The choice was between stepping out of bounds on the one- or two-yard line and saving himself or running into a brick wall.” John Walter, sports editor of the Green Bay Press-Gazette, immediately added, “Eddie chose the wall and the bricks suffered more than the Packer fullback.” In short, “Janks” was no Kevin King, and he was a key member of the world champion 1939 Green Bay Packers. Janks actually suffered a serious head injury against Washington in the final game of 1937, and it left him unconscious for nearly two hours and hospitalized for several weeks. He never again gained significant yards. Remarkably, however, he did score 1 of the Packers’ 3 touchdowns on a one-yard plunge when they beat the New York Giants, 27-0, in the 1939 NFL Championship Game, played in his hometown of Milwaukee. …and THAT, my friends, is pretty sweet.
After football, Eddie Jankowski joined the Navy to serve our country in WWII. In 1947 he became the Whitefish Bay High School head coach and in 1996 died at the age of 83, 9-years after Colin Kaepernick was born in Milwaukee. Just sayin. So, Eddie Jankowski, we posthumously salute you as a war veteran from Milwaukee, a stand-out athlete in Madison, the 1st player ever drafted by Green Bay, and a Packers NFL champion -- and now we will belittle the Giants once more.
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Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! Hey, before I forget, Coach wishes yooce all a safe 'n successful gun deer hunt dis weekend, en so? (Click On Link) Shoot straight... we're playin San Francisco. In Coach’s Humble Opinion: I may have misjudged Murphy Coach is not too big to admit when he’s wrong. Good thing I’m not. However, in the middle of the snowstorm during the Packers vs. Panthers matchup at Lambeau in Week 10, I thought to myself, “Perhaps I misjudged Mark Murphy’s ability to learn from his mistakes and do an about face to correct them.” Case in point: the Game of Thrones foghorn. Murphy heard the moans from fans drowning out the sound of his recorded tocsin during preseason games, and brought back the GO PACK GO melody for the regular season. Good call, but truth-be-told it was also a very easy call to make. Then just recently Coach was delighted to hear the reappearance of “Jump Around” played at the 2-minute warning of the Panthers game. It was a huge hit with the crowd and really increased the enthusiasm in the stadium, as anyone in attendance could see and feel. …just like I told Murphy it would be a few weeks ago (check out The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! archives). FWIW, I heard (unsolicited) numerous other fans in attendance commenting that it is time for Roll-Out-the-Barrel to be retired. Just sayin. But I gotta say, Murphy really blew my socks off with the halftime show. Every fan in attendance was totally consumed by the death-defying heroism of the paratroopers forced to parachute down into the stadium amidst a windy snowstorm. One of the commandos smashed into the sideboards at high speed (click on link), and another missed the stadium completely – landing on nearby Valley View Road (not too far from Coach’s house, I might add). Fortunately, no paratroopers got seriously hurt, but I’ll be damned if everyone in the stadium didn’t think one of them was going to be. We were all on the edge of our seat, waiting for a bone-crushing drop onto the field, or a wind-blown parachute drag across the top of stadium-goers. It was totally awesome (for complete show click here). Good on you, Mark. Keep that shit coming! Along with an 80%-win rate. Us locals might even start to overlook your condescending platitudes about us and your arrogant persona in front of us, if you keep that sort of danger on the gameday docket. …At least, in my humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme What a nice 24-16 win over the Panthers!! We’re 8-2 baby!! So much for the prediction from the Big Apple. Ya know, that headline last week seemed familiar for some reason, so Coach did a little research. Oh yeah, the January 11th, 2015 NFC Divisional Round. The “Dez No Catch” game which the Packers won handily, 26-21. That playoff game was great, but Coach’s fondest memory is that Chris (aka “Slim”) Christie, New Jersey Governor and erstwhile Pretender-Candidate to the Republican nomination, was a guest of Jerry Jones. Midway through the game something very memorable happened. AR often uses “Green 19” during his cadence to signal changes in the play, or sometimes to signal nothing-at-all (much like Payton Manning’s “Omaha”). In a moment that almost made Coach pass a beer and brat through his right nostril, changed his audible from “Green 19” to “New York Bozo, New York Bozo”. Whatever could he have meant? Ah the memories at Lambeau. OK, back to the game. Short version, we won, we’re 8-2, relax, go back to sleep on the couch. Greg Olson, the washed-up journeyman TE Coached warned you about, had a good day. But Super-human and Running Back Chris McCookie was held under 150 total yards and the 2nd Yr. UDFA QB Kyle Allen was made to look like just that -- an Undrafted Free Agent QB in his 2nd year (although, I wish we had him on our roster rather than the rag tag bunch we’ve had since Matt Flynn). We won, we got the last stop of the game and we are 8-2. What’s not to like? Sorry, Coach is going to go broken record on you here. With 2:24 left on the game clock and the Pack up 24-16, the Charlotte Kittens took over at their own 11-yard line…and promptly went the length of the field. They covered 88 yards in 18 plays that included several defensive mistakes. Opportunities to make tackles, drpped interceptions, and ZeeDarius Smith’s offsides penalty gave the Charlotte’s a 3rd & 1 at the 4-yard line with 0:18 on the clock. The D “bent” for the length of the field, and on 2nd and Goal at the 2-yard line there was one last play to try to win the game or possible face OT. “In situations like that, teams give the ball to their best players,” Packers safety Adrian Amos told reporters. “So, in a situation like that, maybe I didn't expect them to run it. But we stopped it and it was good.” Just milliseconds before the ball was snapped, Martinez moved Fackrell into the ‘A’ gap. The Fack ficked thru to slow up McCoffee until Preston Smith could finish him off just short of the goal line. We ran well, they ran well and overall the eye-ball test said that we had two evenly matched teams or perhaps Charlotte was a bit better, but we won. Among the successes were that Jimmy Graham and Davante Adams got going in the same game, first time all year. In a key and novel insight into the game of football, Charlotte’s coach, Riviera Ron, said “Unfortunately the play was close, it was a game of inches.” Not kidding, he actually said that. More importantly for us, though, in this “the ultimate team game” (sorry, can’t resist the cliché), we have a team that is playing like a team, even if they aren’t perfect. 8-2, yes, but we had plenty of mistakes on Offense to go with the D and our rookie head coach is just that, a rookie. At the end of the 1st Half the Pack went 86 yards on 13 plays, one of the best drives of the day. With 2 seconds left we were 1st & Goal at the 1-yard line. Lambeau was pumped and the crowd was chanting “go-for-it, go-for-it”! Coach takes this opportunity to remind you that most fans are idiots. Coach, of course, told fellow game-goers as much in my vocal display of dissent as the field goal team remained with both ass cheeks firmly planted on the sideline benches. Man I hate being right all the time... Anyone with a football IQ greater than their shoe size knows it was a stupid call right out of the Mike McCarthy game mismanagement handbook. Shudda taken the 3-points and gone up by 7, knowing you get the ball back at the start of the 3rd quarter. There would have been no drama at the end of the game if we’d have kicked for 3 at the end of the 1st half. Recall this vintage statement from our very own Vincent Lombardi (which I quoted in Week 4, you can go back and check if you want)? According to David Maraniss’s book “When Pride Still Mattered,” Lombardi later regretted not attempting two additional easy field goals, saying: “When you get down there, come out with something. I lost the game, not my players.” (Lombardi lamenting his mistake in his only playoff loss, the 1960 NFL Championship Game.) So why did we win? Very simple, we won the turnover game 2-0, Special Teams recovered and played better in the 2nd Half and we played as a team. Speaking of Special Teams, astute readers will remember we discussed hidden yards in the punting game last week, and the first half looked much the same. JK Scott was punting lights-out during warm weather at Lambeau, just like last year. And just like last year, he seems to be disappearing in the cold weather. The first punt of the game was a nice 36-yard doink to the Charlotte 47, leading directly to their first TD. The 2nd was the 32-yard shank below to the Carolina 45. Fortunately, Kyle Allen had an un-forced fumble and we scored a TD off of the turnover. In the 1st Half we averaged starting on our own 24-yard line, and the Kitty Kats at their 36, for a net advantage of 62 yards in field position for “them”. So, if Allen didn’t fumble, we likely would not have been leading at half. In what Coach hopes is a sign of things to come, in the 2nd half we actually held them to an average starting position of the 11-yard line. On our first kickoff to them in the 2nd Half, we kicked a pop-up to the 1 which was muffed and then returned to only the 8-yard line. Finally! This is what Hoodie has been teaching the league to do for 2 years now. We did that again on our only other 2nd half KO and held them to the 18, combined with two short punts to inside the 20, and we made Charlotte play on a much longer field in the 2nd half. How strong of a team do we have? As loyal readers have no doubt gathered by now, Coach highly recommends scoring more points than the other team. And after 10 games we rank 8th in Point Differential, averaging 4.5 more points per game than the other guys. We also rank 12th in both Offensive and Defensive points allowed. These ranking are not great folks, but this means we are slightly better than mediocre and we can at least be in the conversation for the post season. But hey, Coach, whaddaya mean? We’re 8-2. Yes Jimmy, we are. We have a healthy team for the first time in years and we’ve caught some breaks during the games, but let’s see if we can’t do a bit more to understand how good the 2019 Packers really are. Jimmy, you may remember in years past that Coach has explained the “Pythagorean Theorem” of NFL records. Using both points scored and points allowed in the formula at the bottom of the table below, the number of wins for a season can be “predicted”. The table below shows the Packers actual wins each season from 2009 thru present and shows what the scoring predicts their record should have been. The last column compares the two. Coach has applied the work to the Packers so far this season (2019 thru 10 games) and the points scored and allowed “predict” that we would have won just under 7 games so far this season. This translates somewhere between 10 and 11 games for the 2019 total season. This seems to fit with “eye-ball-test” for the Pack, a good team, but not a great team. For a little more understanding of the model, look at the 2009 & 10 seasons. The model “predicted” 13-win seasons vs. the 11 wins and 10 wins we actually had. That’s right, the 2010 Super Bowl winners were a strong team that was “unlucky” in winning only 10 games, they cudda, wudda, shudda won 13 games. The run through the playoffs was no fluke, it really just reflected how strong a team that was. We have six games left boys, let’s hope Petite Fleur and the Boys can fix the D and Special Teams; otherwise, if the model of 2019 to-date is correct, we are looking at 3-3 the rest of the way. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Colin Kaepernick Questions Whether Michael Jordan Actually Went To Space To Help Bugs Bunny Win A Basketball Game ATLANTA, GA—On a podcast following his workout for seven NFL teams earlier this week, former NFL quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers Colin Kaepernick questioned why all 32 teams were not present, and then in a peculiar tangent went on to discuss whether or not Michael Jordan actually went to space in the 1990s to help Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes win an intergalactic basketball game against the nefarious Monstars. While conventional wisdom has held that Jordan saved both the careers of several star basketball players and the lives of the Looney Tunes through his heroic matchup against the alien minions, Kaepernick refused to take the official account at face value. "I don't want to feed another conspiracy theory and stuff, but it's just an interesting question," Kaepernick pondered aloud. "I mean, if you start questioning this stuff, they'll come get you, ya know?" The highly-controversial athlete also claimed he always believed as a child that Jordan went into space, but upon a recent viewing of the documentary Space Jam, his doubts started to arise. It all started with Bill Murray's surprise entrance late in the game against the evil alien basketball players: "I realized that Bill Murray is probably not going to be the guy you call on to win a basketball game, especially a high-stakes matchup where your cartoon friends' lives are at stake," Kaepernick said. "And once I started questioning that, the reality of the whole thing started to unravel. " Kaepernick also pointed out the "suspect" idea that cartoons and humans could even play a basketball game together. "It just seems like something out of a movie and not real science," he said, further calling out elements like the cartoon basketball players blowing each other up with ACME explosives and traps as "outlandish." At press time, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell had purportedly invited Kaepernick to tour the Moron Mountain amusement park deep in outer space to prove its legitimacy. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Bears Fire Dropsies Coach CHICAGO—Claiming that Bears receivers have not been dropping footballs embarrassingly enough, GM Ryan Pace fired team Dropsies coach Ovan “Mitts” Mitzenberg following their loss to the Los Angeles Rams on national television Sunday night. “Our guys have simply forgotten the basics—turning upfield before the ball arrives, stopping the pass with their facemask, using only one hand,” Pace said. “Sure, we’ve excelled in areas such as throwing the ball directly to defenders and only keeping one foot inbounds, but that only gets you so far. We need to get to a point where our team is able to drop balls with the game on the line.” Many questioned the personnel move at this point in the season, with the Bears on the cusp of being mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. Despite this untimely firing, Pace reiterated high praise for the team’s Sucking coach. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground These week we comment on TROPHIES!!!... Ironically, Purdue is not worthy of any trophy, but one of their cheerleaders is smokin' hot, so there's that. The Boilermakers (nice mascot, not) come into this game being down to their third string QB and having lost two starting receivers. Despite that, they have beaten Nebraska and Northwestern in their last two games (#WhoHasn't?). Purdue leads the conference with 43 passes per game, so once again the Badgers secondary will be tested. Don’t think payback isn’t a part of Purdue's in-going agenda, and with a bye week to scheme up gadget plays, look for this one to be a bit more interesting than we would like, but JT will run wild in the 4th Q behind our big nasties, and our D will get another late pick 6 to run up the score as time expires. Bucky will be doing lots of pushups Saturday. You heard it here first, Badgers 41, Boilermakers 17. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Jimmy, to address your earlier question about the playoff outlook, Coach has created this handy Playoff Summary Sheet for the NFC. (Yes, that’s right, Coach doesn’t give a flip about the AFC until the day we find out who we are playing in the Super Bowl. The great news for us is that we are currently the 2nd Seed and have 1st round Bye! However, if you believe that scoring more points than the other guys is a good thing and is key to winning games, then the bad news is that the Niners, Cowboys and Vikings all look like playoff trouble. They all have a better point differential and we face 2 of the 3 on the schedule coming up (we handled the Cowgirls and the Viqueens once already). The Niners are in their 3rd Year with John Lynch as GM after hiring him for the 2017 season. This is his first role outside of playing safety (15 years) or broadcasting (10 years) and it looks like he’s doing it pretty well. He’s done a great job assembling a coaching staff and has done extremely well with player acquisition. Lynch hired Mike Shanahan’s kid Kyle to be the head coach and somewhere in there coordinating their passing attack is Petite Fleur’s brother Mikhael. D-Coordinator Robert Saleh is also relatively new to running the show, he was brought into the NFL by the Texans after “earning” double major degrees in Finance and Ethanol Consumption at Northern Michigan and now has his first D-Coordinator job. Interesting the way the Niners are organized…the GM is responsible for all football operations. He has then gone out and hired some unknown yet talented guys to run the show, you know, like the Packers used to do. Just sayin’. One qualifier on the player acquisition side of things, after years of bad teams the Niners have had a bunch of high draft picks to restock the team, and Lynch has done a good job of that. He also made a huuuge free agent signing when the managed to pry QB Jim Garofalo away from the Pats two years ago. He’s overcome his injury and he’s playing really well, even if he isn’t so modest. Garofalo has flourished in the Niners Offense and has them at #2 in points scored and #5 in yards gained. The Defense has been dominant as well, at #2 in both points allowed and yards allowed. They are jelling as a team, but just won't have enough to overcome the Pack. The Packers have won the last two meetings and lead the series 36-30-1 all time with an average win of 21.4 to 20.7 and it looks like that will be going to 37 wins. The Niners fan base is really greased up for this game, they’ve obviously been looking forward to it all year. Apparently, the excited fan above is signaling 1st down to his mates in the bar? Well, I guess they’ve earned themselves the right to have a little bit o’fun in the end. Never a dull moment out there. It’s always interesting to how football is embraced by enthusiastic San Franciscans. Too bad for Poncho…he goes home unhappy again…. Packers 24 Niners 21 Chevon McNuggets - G.O.A.T. facts to chew on JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them Ever wonder why this jersey hangs in the atrium at Lambeau Field? Most think it has something to do with an organizational salute to our military veterans; and, although that sounds like a great idea, it is actually not the reason. Only the most astute Packers historians have the inside scoop on this one, and now Coach is gonna share it with you… This week we salute another local kid that beat the odds and earned a spot on the Green Bay Packers. Robert Freiheit grew up in a Hustisford, Wisconsin trailer park and was the smallest kid on his high school football team, but he probably had the biggest heart. The little engine that could had nothing on this guy. He was born the bastard son of an immigrant woman who fled the gluttony of 1930’s Nazi Germany for the promise of America and changed their family name to “Freedom” after arriving at Ellis Island. “Bob” as he was called by friends, played running back and defensive back for Coach Knoebl’s Hustisford/Horicon Falcons before playing ball at Ripon College, and subsequently began his professional career as a Speed Queen washing machine salesman. Upon a sales call in Green Bay during the summer of 1958, he was overhead at lunch with a client mentioning his college playing days by Packers defensive coach Jack Morton. Morton invited Bob to City Stadium for a tryout and he took over as the Packers starting defensive back by the end of training camp. Freedom wore number 35 for the Packers that year, and they went an abysmal 1-10-1, largely due to an undersized has-been defensive back from Hustisford, Wisconsin and his incompetent head coach, Ray “Scooter” McLean. That said, if Bob Freedom hadn’t gone to Ripon College, got a job at Speed Queen, sold washing machines in Green Bay, and got a tryout for the Packers, Vince Lombardi might never have been recruited and hired as the Packers head coach in 1959. THANK YOU, BOB FREEDOM!!! Lombardi immediately cleaned house and Bob Freedom didn’t last long. With his stubborn German heritage, he burned a few bridges when leaving the Speed Queen company, and had to fall back on his hobby of brewing beer in order to earn money and make ends meet. Bob’s “Freedom 35” beer soon became the most popular bootleg beer in south-central Wisconsin and eventually earned a cult following in the Canadian province of Nova Scotia, where he later relocated his operation to; and by all accounts it has become a legitmate business, abiding by all mounted police provincial laws. Even today, Freedom 35 is a staple of the eastern Canadian imbibe diet. Not surprisingly, in the heyday of the Favre-led 1990’s, Bob’s “Green Bastard” IPA became an equally popular line extension as he handed the family beer business over to his three nephews. So, Nazi defector Robert Freiheit from Hustisford, Wisconsin, we salute you as an unsung hero in bringing Vince Lombardi and several world championships to Titletown, and we thank you for brewing beer.
Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! The season can be a grind. It's time for our bye week -- hey, Coach needs a break every once in a while, too, ya know! You're probably wondering "Well, what the hell am I supposed to do now with no Coach Clarahanson Show!!! insights for 2 whole weeks? Don't worry, buddy, I got you. Here are a few things you can do during the bye week while I'm out:
See ya next week for more fun, fellas... Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: NFL should invoke the Madden Rule NFL officiating might be the downfall of the League. It’s not like the refs are any worse now than in years past, in all honesty they are at least as good as they’ve ever been. The problem is, well, they’re humans. To the rescue: Technology! We can see how bad some calls are thanks to INSTANT REPLAY. So, all we had to do was use instant replay whenever a call appears questionable in order to get the call right. Right? Only the NFL could screw this up. It’s not that refs are terrible (well, yes, some are, but that’s never going to change), it’s that the rules and their interpretations are getting too complicated – like they were drafted by employment lawyers or something (you know, like “technically” you’re no longer supposed to rub a female colleague on the shoulders and sniff her hair). My whole life I knew what catching a football was. Then, thanks to instant replay and the ability to question things in super slow motion, the NFL “better defined” what a catch was in order to clarify what a ref should call. Now nobody knows what a catch is. Last year an abhorrent non-call in New Orleans made pass interference replay-worthy. Now that “improvement” has become this year’s albatross around the neck of the League (yes, Coach reads 18th century works by English poets … or he listens to Iron Maiden … you decide). We need to make this situation better before the NFL rules committee makes it even more difficult to enjoy football games. The good news is, it’s really not that difficult. Hey, NFL Rules Committee, it’s time to adopt John Madden’s replay rule. “If 5 guys in a bar agree it’s a catch, then it’s a catch.” If they don’t, the call on the field stands. Same goes for PI. The hard part might be finding five unbiased football fans in a bar for the 2 teams playing, but it’s not impossible. I’m sure me and the 2 others on both sides of me down at the Legion could be impartial for a Bengals v. Colts matchup on Sunday after church. What? Take instant replay power out of the hands of a retired referee on standby in New York? Yep. Blasphemy! Maybe. …But, hey, Trump became President despite accepted norms and that shitshow is turning out ok, so I say we should give the Madden Rule a try. It would make football great again! …At least, in my humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Complimentary Football is nirvana. It’s the Holy Grail, it’s Mecca, where all three phases, Offense, Defense and Special Teams, work perfectly together to deliver a perfect game. It’s the perfection that Hoody chases every week. Coach is just overwhelmed and brought to tears by last week’s game. For the first time ever, the first time in 100 seasons, the Packers achieved an ideal state of Zen on the field of play…the Packers played an absolutely flawless game of Complimentary Football against the San Angeles Bolts. When asked how he felt after the game, team leader and erstwhile Quarterback, Mr. Rodgers, said he felt an odd sense of fulfillment. “Well, it’s something I’ve been looking for, you know? I have to say I’m a little sore, but I guess that to be expected. I finally worked up the nerve to really go for it and here we are.” When asked about his team’s execution in his post-game press conference, Packer’s Coach Petite Fleur responded: “I’m for it! All three phases of the team played a game so shitty that it is impossible to imagine a more perfect game. We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” With all the mystery surrounding how the team achieved perfection during a home game at Lambeau West, Coach did some sleuthing to try to find the magic elixir the Packers were consuming…. Packers lead Picador, Cam Bactrain, attributed the flawless outcome to the extra practice time the team was able to put in after the Petite Fleur had the team spend the entire week in California. “Coach told us that we should focus on eliminating any aches, pains and bad thoughts by working to stimulate inhibitory effects of GABA on our neurotransmitters.” He went on to say, “I’m particularly happy they brought in Yogi Shannon to help us with the training needed to achieve a perfect state of cerebral hypoxia. She and I deeply connected throughout the week and I think the benefits were obvious on the field today.” It just goes to show, that when this team really concentrates, they can achieve any goal. OK, let’s dive in and take a closer look at perfection… The importance of Special Teams is often overlooked, but Coach is gonna give’em the credit they deserve today. Let’s start by giving a shout out to the Packers Punt Return Team. We are the only team in the entire NFL that has achieved a negative return average!! Yes, we’re the No. 1 overall team for ridiculously bad punt returns, with an average of -1.3 yards per return!! But let’s not look past the NFL’s 4th and 5th worst Kickoff Units. Our KO Coverage is at #28 with an opponent’s 27.7 yards per return and KO Return team is #29, averaging 18.8 yards per return. An average NFL game has about 5 KO’s for each team, so on average the 2019 Packers give up 100 “hidden yards” just on Kickoffs. Now that isn’t that cool! We are number 1 in the NFL with the highest, number of hidden yards lost in the kickoff/kickoff-return game!! That had the ST gathering around the Packers ST Coach to discuss punts. Wait, who is the ST Coach? Coach had to Google it to refresh his memory… …turns out even Google doesn’t know who it is… …anyway the Packers Special Teams Coach is Shawn Meningitis, and he had just the perfect play dialed up... …Bolts Tranquill rookie, Drue, schooled B.J. Goodson and blocked JK Scott’s punt. The Bolts got the ball at the 27-yard line and Melvin Gordon strolled into the endzone six plays later for a 19-0 lead. Then with 10 ½ minutes left in the game, San Angeles’ kicked a 19-yard field goal from the 1. But, “Who, me? I never have more than one penalty per quarter”, Tony Brown, was offsides on the play. The Chargers took the points off the board and had Gordon dive in for his 2nd TD and a 26-3 LaLa lead. The game was over when the team arrived DOA in California, but Wayne pulled out his dagger to make it official. Special Teams role in the disaster? Check! No question! ST exceeded all expectations in achieving Complimentary Football! Normally Coach-of-the-Year goes to a Head Coach, but let’s just say that Coach Meningitis has a real shot at serious consideration this year. ...But let’s not leave out the Offense! After the several weeks of steady improvement, reaching the #7 overall NFL ranking in points/gm scored, we sucked a big one and dropped back to No.13. The level of scoring where typically see an 8-8 team…just sayin’. Mr. Beluga is seen here playing his right-side Picador role to perfection, providing a bit of distraction and a jab or two while ultimately directing the bull to the Matador. But Beluga was not alone in contributing an offensive performance. Most of the offense stayed at the hotel on Sunday reading their press clippings instead of going to the stadium. In the first half the Packers had 3 drives, ran 18 plays, gained 50 yards, had 3 false starts and a delay of game penalty, which resulted in average of 2.8 yards per play. For perspective, the Jets have the lowest average in the NFL at 4.0 yards per play. The Chargers had 4 drives, ran 38 plays and kept the ball for 18:14 to our 11:46. One of the most anemic offense in the league coming into the game, the Angelenos averaged 6.6 yards per play in the first half, the same average as the #2 Chiefs. The only reason it wasn’t a blow out by halftime was the Bolts had 3 self-inflicted penalties for 25 yards. Bend but don’t break Defense? BS. Wayne should have declared “dagger” at the half. Last, and most definitely least-and-getting-worse, la falta de Defensa. It’s been a steady drip, drip, drip of decline all year, with new fissures exposed every week by mediocre teams. We went from being the No. 1 scoring defense after Wk1 to the No. 11 scoring defense and steadily dropping after Wk 9. Teams are just feasting on the Packers’ anemic run defense (below - yards/carry, total rushing yards, how it ranks this year): MN – Dalvin Cook – 7.7/154 yard/Best of Year PHI – Jordon Howard – 5.8/87/ 2nd highest of year OAK – Josh Jacobs – 5.9/124/Best of year Bolts – Team – 4.2 /159 / Best of year And Preseason Favorite defender and prima donna Jaire Alexander is floundering, picked-on again in LA. He gambled and lost on a pass to Williams in the first half, which turned into a 56-yard gain. Then late in the third quarter, Rivers hit Williams for a 46-yard completion against Alexander. But more importantly, we got gashed again by a TE, this time Hunter Henry. Watch the GIF closely, at the line of scrimmage Will Redmond is lined up over Henry and pre-snap he points to the middle (signaling to “somebody” to cover him). Normally the “somebody” is an LB or Safety, but when Henry gets to the middle of the field Martinez also points to the middle so that “somebody” will cover him. Confusion with the scheme? Really looks like it…obviously Martinez chases with his club hand and it looks like his fault for the busted coverage, and maybe it is, but clearly the D is not coordinated. "But Coach can’t we put in Oren Burks?" (3rd Rnd LB in 2018). Nope, he only got 8 snaps and clearly is not trusted by the Coaches. "Or what about Josh Jackson?" (2nd Rnd S/CB in 2018). Nope, he wasn’t even active. Coaches can’t find anything that he’s good enough at to activate him for games. Mike Poutine is a really creative guy. As you can see in the chart above, prepared by Ioppolo Sports Information Services (ISIS), Poutine has run a wide variety of formations. The chart is ordered in the number of DL & LB’s (9/8/7/6/5/4) vs. DB’s (2/3/4/5,6/7). A quick scan down the yards/carry column in the middle reveals…we suck at run defense in every formation. If you go back to every one of the previous editions of The Show!!!, you will see GIF’s of the DL standing up and getting gashed. Football is hitting, and in line play the low man wins. You can hear every junior high school football coach everywhere preaching that every August. ISIS -- a wholly subsidized minority-owned global partner of The Coach Clarahanson Show!!!, using their proprietary methodology (under review for purchase by Pro Football Focus), has determined how each individual is playing on D: The last column gives an all over grade for defensive play. The scary part is that everyone at the bottom of the chart is the heart of the Defense. No wonder we are getting gashed in the run game and by tight ends. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Radio Caller Reports Old Player Honored On Field Always Choked in Playoffs HOUSTON—Repeatedly pointing out the 71-year-old former Oilers quarterback was only good when it did not count, sports talk radio caller Brad Ameson reported Sunday that Dan Pastorini always choked in the playoffs. “People are acting like he was some all-time great; he was decent, but he always lost steam whenever it came to securing championships,” said Ameson, 58, noting that while the Houston Sports Hall of Fame inductee may have helped in a few playoff runs, he was also the reason for never making it to the Super Bowl. “I’m all for taking a moment to recognize those who came before us, and I know he was the team’s all-time passing leader, but he never showed up when it mattered. What ever happened to winning games? Ameson added that if he was truly great he would have been tough enough to take all those hits and not be in a wheelchair today. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof PHILADELPHIA— In August, when most of Chicago was living in the alternate reality of the Bears being a Super Bowl contender, the schedule’s midseason game against the Eagles looked like just another stop on their worldwide victory tour, undoubtedly avenging their playoff loss from last season with a statement win and marching down destiny’s path to Miami. One thing their fans always forget, though, is that the Bears still suck, and in a season in which the Bears repeatedly have hit what they thought was rock bottom, they’ve found even more room to plummet. The Bears lost their fourth in a row, 22-14, collapsing on both sides of the ball. The Eagles often made the Bears’ high-priced defense look ordinary and didn’t give the Bears’ offense an inch in the 1st half — almost literally — resulting in Chicago’s worst first half in the modern era. It reached a point where punting on third down would have been reasonable. Bears fans, don’t blame Trubisky. Sure, he was 6-for-13 for 24 yards and a passer rating of 53 at halftime, and he finished with only 10 completions (the NFL’s third-fewest this season) … It’s not his fault he was drafted before Mahomes and Watson, or trading away numerous picks in the process (#49ersUndefeatedThanksBears) … the Bears personnel staff are incompetent morons. If he was taken where he should have been, in the 6th round, Trubisky might have developed nicely into a clipboard carrying backup for 3-4 years, and then blossomed into an above-average starter in the CFL. Turning to the Bears’ wisest veteran for comment following the loss in Philly, reporters were told by safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix: “We gotta play every game like it’s the playoffs. We’re in the playoffs now. If we want to go to the playoffs, we’re fitting to see what we’ve got right now.” Despite the linguistic debauchery of that statement, the Bears can cling to such delirium until mathematical elimination; meanwhile, everyone else in Chicago has already given up. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Rivalry Game—Hawgeyes invade Camp Randall With one of the crappiest two-game stretches of the Alvarez era plus a bye week to stew about it now behind us, Bucky has a run of games where they will likely be favored, but will be tested. They are 9-point favorites this Saturday. Wisconsin matches up well with Iowa in that Iowa lacks playmakers on offense. Gone to the NFL as high picks are their two tight ends. Their QB Nate Stanley has a 50 caliber rifle for an arm, racks up yards (leading the conference) and moves the ball well between the twenty yard lines, but takes a lot of sacks and hoists up some pick opportunities. The running game has difficulty generating yards, ranking #9 in the conference. Provided we get back to playing defense like we did prior to the end of the Illinois game, chances are good that we can hold Iowa to 14 points or fewer on offense. Iowa does not possess the speed and offensive weapons that Illinois and Ohio State used to wear down and put up points on our defense. Expect our offense to struggle similarly against Iowa’s outstanding 4-3 defense. Their gap discipline is comparable to what we saw from Northwestern. AJ Epenesa is one of the best 4-3 defensive ends in the country. Badgers tackles Van Lanen and Bruss need to bounce back from their turnstile pass protection vs. Ohio State’s Chase Young. We expect that to be the case as Ohio State was their only bad game this season. The same cannot be expected for run blocking between the tackles. Every game since Northwestern has been a disappointment. Iowa does not need to sell out to take away our run game like other teams have. They may give us the short passes in the flat, but will limit yards after catch like Northwestern did. We will be in trouble if we turn the ball over and allow Iowa’s defense to score touchdowns. Over the last 12 years, our games with Iowa have been tight, physical defensive grinders with the difference being the Badgers having an offensive playmaker that Iowa lacked—Montee Ball, James White, Melvin Gordon… Last year, Paul Chryst employed a few new offensive wrinkles (end around to FB Ingold with 30 seconds left in the game) that were key to beating Iowa 28-17 at Kinnick. A 2nd half pick thrown by Stanley was also a game changer in a tight game. In the last three meetings, Wisconsin has had success throwing downfield to tight ends or over the middle on slants. Except for Ferguson replacing Fumagalli at TE, Wisconsin has had the same receivers on the field. Wisconsin has enjoyed recent success (6-1) vs. Iowa because they have brought their “A” game. The one exception was the 2015 game during which Joel Stave fumbled at the goal line late at Camp Randall as we were going in for the go-ahead score. Iowa ended up in the Big Ten championship that year. Provided someone else (Ped State) beats Minnesota, either Wisconsin or Iowa could win the Big Ten West by winning out. Wisconsin leads the all-time series 37-34-1. From 1977 to 1996, Wisconsin went twenty years without beating Hayden Frye & the Hawkeyes. This Saturday’s for the old guys who had many autumn Saturdays ruined at the hands of this guy. Bucky 21, Iowa 10. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game The Pack first met and beat the Panthers in the NFC Championship for the 1996 Season (Jan. 12th, 1997), on their way to winning Super Bowl XXXI. Since then it’s been fairly even, with Packers leading the series 8-6. Two of those losses are pretty instructive coming into this weekend, the Packers first loss to the Panthers and the “Brad Hoover Game”. The Packers led the all-time series 3-0 and were at 7-5 going into their game on Dec. 12th, 1999. The Packers were up 31-27 late in the 4th and let journeyman hack Steve Beuerlein march the length of the field. On 4th and goal at the Packers 5-yard line with 5 seconds left on the clock, the immobile Beuerlein spread out the field and hobbled into the endzone for the walk-off win. The lesson? Beware the washed-up journeyman, which this week will be Panthers’ TE Greg Olson. The other lesson? Beware the rookie you ignore. All eyes will be on Christian McCaffrey (more below), but everybody on an NFL roster can be good. In week 13 of the 2000 season, the Packers played the Panthers on MNF, and the focus of the game was the Packers reunion with Reggie White under rookie Head Coach – Mike Sherman. But playing in the same game was also the stiff, immobile, undrafted, unknown and unproven rookie FB/RB Brad Hoover. Carolina’s rookie back ran wild all over Green Bay’s defense for 117 rushing yards and led them to a 31-14 win. Carolina comes to Lambeau this week with a 5-3 record and are an up-and-down team. The big news though, is that they are 5-1 since Cam Newton went out and the 2018 Undrafted-Free-Agent Kyle Allen took over. He’s got a passer rating of 87.8 and the Panthers now have the No. 10 Scoring Offense. While Kyle Allen has been a nice surprise for the Charlotte Cats, the real news is Christian McCaffrey. McCaffrey is legitimately in the discussion for MVP. Through 8 games he has 1244 yards on 207 touches (881 rushing, 363 receiving, 13 TD’s). But the Packers get back safety Ibraheim Campbell! Who? Well, he was playing very well last year before he tore his ACL, and he’s coming back from the PUP list this week. I’m sure he will help, but the real reason we win is, we have to. In an "everybody pulls their heads out of their posteriors and kick’s a southern team’s butt in a cold weather game" win: Packers 35 Charlotte Cats 20 Why not, right? Chevon McNuggets - G.O.A.T. facts to chew on JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them This week Coach offers a “Where Are They Now?” feature interview with a former Packers player that you may remember stopped by Green Bay just long enough for a cup of coffee, Ingle Martin. Martin was selected in the 5th round of the 2006 NFL Draft, and owns the rare distinction of serving as 3rd string backup behind Hall of Famers Aaron Rodgers (pending) and Brett Favre. After the 2006 season the Packers realized their top 2 QB’s on the squad were probably good enough to release their Ingle Martin insurance policy, and he subsequently bounced around to a couple other NFL teams, racking up a career total of 2 plays for -5 yards. I bumped into Ingle this week in his hometown of Greenville, South Carolina, while in an open bar beer line at a wedding reception that we both happened to be attending. He works in town there as a Kwik-Kool Heating & Air Conditioning sales representative. “I often fall back on my football experience to close a sale" he said. "It typically goes something like this,” explained Martin, “I steer discussions with potential customers to something about the Carolina Panthers, you know, like ‘Did you catch that game Sunday?’ That’s my opening. Then I mention that I played a little football for the Packers. I say something like ‘Speaking of football, I used to toss the pigskin around a bit myself.’ Then I got them, hook, line, and sinker.” Martin reviewed with me his recent one-hour meeting at Little Red Barn Plush Toys headquarters in Greenvile with CEO Aaron Stadler, who was looking into a Kwik-Kool heat and A/C system for his new factory. Among other things, Stadler learned that Martin played quarterback at nearby Furman College for two years, but blew out his right knee in May 1980.
“It was the annual spring intrasquad game, between my sophomore and junior year, and on the very first play from scrimmage I tore my ACL,” Martin told the toy manufacturer. “And that pretty much ended that season for me, but I knew I could come back my senior year.” "I still remember those practices," said Martin, as he unfolded a glossy Kwik-Kool brochure. "Coach Woodman would put us through hell, pardon my French. The first week of training camp, we'd run 10 miles in full pads every morning and then cool down with something easy, like, oh, 25 WIND SPRINTS! It was insane." Yes, Ingle, that certainly sounds insane. But, anyway, thanks for stopping by Green Bay, and thanks for sharing with me your ongoing saga. And the wedding guest’s a sad and wiser man And the tale goes on and on and on and on |
Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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