Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show !!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: The Packers need to grow a pair. It seems like the Jaguars always bring their A-game when they come to a chilly Lambeau Field, and last Sunday was no exception. No matter who their coach is, or what their record is, they always seem to adjust well for the temperature extremes by being more physical than Green Bay. I expect Tennessee to come to town in late December and out-muscle the Packers, too. It’s almost as if the Packers expect warm-weather opponents to not bother trying because it’s cold out. But, duh, probably zero of those players are actually from the city the play for, and many of them likely played numerous years (high school, college, other NFL teams) in cold weather conditions. By contrast, I’ve noticed that the Packers seem to suffer from “getting winded” (or easy exhaustion, or whatever) when they go to a warmer city during the otherwise frosty Fall. After their bye this year, the Packers got throttled by the Buccaneers in Tampa when temps flirted with the 90’s. Four years ago Rodgers BARELY got past a terrible Jaguars team in Jacksonville on a sweltering Sunday afternoon. Recall the Packers BARELY beat an awful Dolphins team a couple of years ago in Miami (thank goodness for some Rodgers trickeration on a fake spike play). …and when was the last time the Packers won a toughly contested game in Arizona. Uh, never? My point is that the Packers are soft. Not all of them, but most. Being pussies has been ground into the culture of the team ever since McCarthy arrived (see also, the Dallas Cowboys are now the pussies of the NFC East … that didn’t take long), and LaFleur isn’t exactly doing much to bully the rest of the League. Does being soft mean doom for Green Bay this year? Not necessarily, but if you’re gonna beat tough teams by simply being fancy, you have zero room for error and you can’t expect great things with your “best” players in the tub all the time. Lucas Patrick can’t play every position, but he has the moxie the rest of the team needs to dominate through the playoffs. ...at least, in my humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Trap game is written all over this package… …is what Coach told you last week. Well we knew we would be facing the-most-talented-1-&-7-team-in-the-league {dear reader, please insert sarcasm emoji here}. Ya know, the “Who have we played?” question is everywhere, and post-game all the team leaders had the correct responses… …you are what your records says you are… …you can only play the teams on your schedule… …blah, blah, coach speak, blah… Hard to talk around it any longer this Season, we’ve been beating up on losers. Our opponents have had a cumulative record of 10-29-0 (26%) at the time we played them, and we have only played one team with a winning record. Oh, BTW, that one winning team thoroughly kicked our ass. Just looking at the Box Score on this game you would think we were playing a pretty good team. The number of 1st Downs, the number of Plays, the number of Drives all were pretty equal. Then if you look at the Punt Returns, the Kick Returns, the Average Yards/Rushing, the Turnovers and the Special Teams TD it’s amazing we won this game at all. What won the game for us were fewer penalties (they had a killer that took a 24-17 lead TD off the board in the 4th Qtr.) and the 78-yard TD bomb to MVS. Otherwise this could have easily been a loss. We won in an uninspired, crappy, play-down-to-your-opponent’s-level sort of performance… …and emerged the No. 1 Seed in the NFC. No, Coach is not going to apologize, we are in control of our own destiny and in control of the No. 1 Seed. No, it doesn’t mean anything at all at this point in the Season. But, no matter how much the 2020 Packers drive you crazy, being 7-2 is a hell of a lot better than being the Bears or some other crappy team. According to the experts we have a greater than 95% chance of making the Playoffs. Yes Billy, those are the same experts that said we had a better than 99% chance of beating the Seahawks in the 2014 NFC Championship Game. (And yes, for those of you interested, it still pisses-off Coach, shudda fired McCarthy after the 2013 Season.) So how uninspired was the Team? Coach gives you: Exhibit A … Nobody wants to play with Zilarious In a prime example that even the Defense knew they sucked on Sunday, after Z Smith got a sack early in the 3rd Qtr, nobody was interested in any of the D-Train nonsense. No point in celebrating a big play when you’re getting your ass kicked on the field. Exhibit B … Rogers’ Lame Leap In a “that’s not the way Leroy drew it up” moment after he ran in a TD in the 2nd Qtr, AR demonstrates how not to do a Lambeau Leap. Aside from the Lame jump, take a look at the Jag’s D, they were well coached and were totally expecting a pass to former Jag, Big Dog Marcedes Lewis. The Jag’s had the play sniffed out and AR improvised and rambled in…and then demonstrated more than a bit of apathy about the game. The lack of energy was evident from the opening whistle. For the first time all year we failed to score on the opening drive, and we looked anemic all day on offense. On 3rd and 5 on the opening drive AR missed Bobby T … admitting after the game that the ball sailed on him. If he hits Tonyan on this pass we are in the RedZone (or as O-Coordinator Nathaniel Hackett calls it, the “Gold” zone!) and possibly the End Zone, game over. Instead we punted, 3-&-out on the opening drive. This is really concerning, in his 13th Season as starting QB, playing his gajillionth game on this field, and only two weeks after playing the Queens on an even windier day, Rogers can’t read the wind? WTF. He was not really on-point for the game. Continuing his “I’m not Ray Guy” career, punter JK Scott demonstrated yet again his inability to play situational football. Having wasted the 1st Qtr with the wind at our back and only leading 7-3, at 10:06 in the 2nd we punted from our own 32. In booming at 73-yard punt, Scott violated the 8th Commandment of Football, “Thou shall not outkick thine coverage”. He had the wind; this was not a time to give the Jags a head start on the return. This is not play-off winning Special Teams, and that is ST-Coordinator Shawn Meningitis’ fault. Not to be outdone for poor performance, Matt LaFleur jumped in with both feet for the “I’m going to call a crappy game, too” contest. With the Packers up 24-20 in the 4th Qtr and needing to run the ball to run out the clock, we faced 3rd down with 1-yard to go for a first down. Time for no fancy motion, no sleight-of-hand, just good old fashioned, smash-mouth football. But we put our small back out there, had 3 TE’s on the line yet nobody in the FB position. WTF? ...and right before that, an unnecessary time out was taken right before this F'd up play ... there was a huge gap off the nose tackle that Rodgers EASILY could have sneaked through. The Jaguars were GIVING us the 1st down! But we didn’t take it. Were we trying to trick them into jumping offsides (which they never did all game leading up to that play). So, the Jag’s adjusted and then went into a short-yardage D and they just pushed the OL backwards. Even so, this ain’t complicated, kids -- we need to line up a lead blocker in the backfield. Cue Coach Alverez for a tip or two here. Amazingly, after a game where we played so poorly on Offense, we are still ranked 3rd in the League, averaging 30.8 pts/game. Defense (sigh) Our D continues to hover in the middle of the pack and are ranked 15th at 24.0 pts/game. The more disturbing trend is our drift downward to 9th in point differential at 5.9 pts/game (recall the median for SB Winners is 10 pts/game). The D did play well for one series. With 2:32 left in the game, Scott shanked his last punt into the wind that left the Jags only 53 yards away from winning the game. Give the D credit, we held the Jags to 7 plays and one net yard. Against a Rookie 6th Rnd QB, playing in his 2nd game, on a 1-7 team, in a situation where they have to pass, playing on the road. Good job “fellas.” The problem is that we have to play Defense in all situations, not just when they are going to be one-dimensional. We got lucky that this game didn’t go to OT. Jacksonville scored on an 18-yard run over Z Smith to go ahead 24-17 at 14:21 in the 4th qtr, immediately after the Davante Adams fumble. Fortunately for us, the play was called back on a holding call and we eventually held them to a 20-17 lead on a field goal. So what is going on with the D? Get ready for the broken record. No doubt that we can always use better talent, but Coach will show you that the Defensive Scheme and the way Poutine calls it are the bigger issue. Let’s compare two different plays in the game, one with each team on D and see if we can uncover differences. The photo above and the clip below are of the same play. It’s the Packers’ 2nd play of the game on Offense and the situation is 2nd & 5 at the 30. Jacksonville is facing arguably the best throwing QB of all time, in a situation and formation that are run or pass. So what do they do? Jacksonville plays for the run, daring Rodgers to throw at them. They have 8 guys up in the box at the LOS, basically playing the same 4-4 D that the Niners played last week and all 8 are keying Aaron Jones. (Note the Free Safety is out of the picture to the left.) Note how quickly all 8 guys in the box and the Right-CB all flow to the ball. That’s nine-guys keying on Jones and headed toward him. That’s nine-guys ignoring Aaron Rodgers and playing man-to-man coverage on the outside. Wow. And they were right. They won, we lost. Let’s contrast that with a play where we are on D. It’s 2nd and 2, early in the 2nd Qtr, they have a Rookie QB in his 2nd game, and Jacksonville’s James Robinson has been running the ball down our throats already in this game. OK kids, 2nd and 2, …the situation is obviously:
WTF, obviously “A”, they are going run. So we line up with our “Flat 5” (3 DL, 2 OLB up on the line) and then “back it” with one LB. I repeat, uno Linebacker, Christian Kirksey. If Chandon Sullivan were a real LB we would be getting close to a standard 3-4, but he’s not. The other thing to notice is how far off the LOS the Safeties and the Corner-Backs are. They are all “off” the line and the LCB is backing away before the snap. This is a “oh no, we’re afraid of Montana hitting Jerry Rice deep” sort of formation. WTF – WE ARE IN A “PREVENT DEFENSE”, IN THE 2ND QTR OF A GAME WE ARE LEADING, PLAYING AGAINST A ROOKIE QUARTERBACK IN HIS 2ND NFL GAME. OH, AND DID I MENTION, WE HAVE THE F’NG LEAD!!! Coach doesn’t know how to hit the keyboard any harder. Naturally the Jags run, they run right at Preston Smith and Chandon Sullivan. Both get blocked and can’t get off the blocks. It’s a fair critique to say they need to beat those blocks, but they don’t. Next on the scene is #58, the oft-injured-I’ve-only-been-out-of-the-tub-for-4-games, Christian Kirksey. He’s slow on recognition and can only make the tackle 10 yards downfield. Kirksey is the playing the same role that Blake Martinez did last year, and he looks more-or-less the same. The issue for Kirksey is the scheme, only super man could make it across the formation to make that tackle. The issue for the rest of the Defense is also the scheme. Look at how they are lined-up. And then compare how many Jag’s defenders show up on-the-ball in the previous clip. Where is that with the Packers? Basically no heart, no drive, no “give-a-shit.” Want another one to get you fired up? After the Davante Adams fumble the Jags had the ball 3rd and 6 at the 12, and we decide to leave the Rookie QB alone and unpressured. We rush 3, so that means we have 8 guys who can work together, confuse the Rookie, and stop the pass. Right? You can see above that we only mange to confuse ourselves. Time to change the Defensive coaching staff. Period. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Rob Demovsky Encouraged To Wear Mask To Help Prevent Spread Of Inane Commentary Ashwaubenon, WI—Insisting that the sports media giant was doing everything in its power to protect vulnerable groups, ESPN officials encouraged their reporter responsible for covering the Packers, Rob Demovsky, to wear a face mask to help prevent the spread of inane commentary. “We’re taking every necessary precaution to make sure Rob’s pointless babble doesn’t contaminate those who might come upon it,” said ESPN president James Pitaro, noting a significant improvement in the health of ESPN Wisconsin Radio staff after he required Steve “the Homer” True to wear a mask and face shield. “Studies have shown that masks are 95% effective at muffling lukewarm ramblings about Aaron Rodgers relationship breakups, their overall impact on the Packers’ win-loss record, and how similar his girlfriends all look. We have less data on their effectiveness to gag Rob’s most recent infatuation with commenting on AJ Dillion’s leg muscles, but we’re hoping an abundance of caution can be effective here. Ideally, nobody would be exposed to Rob Demovsky at all, but that just isn’t possible right now. We’re taking this problem seriously because it can affect everyone, no matter your age or race.” At press time, ESPN extended the mask requirement after learning elderly Americans who were exposed to Demovsky’s analysis had a 10% mortality rate. ADVERTISEMENT The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Chicago Bears Sued For Millions After Using Unlicensed Cheering Sounds From Other Teams CHICAGO—Decrying the blatant lifting of audio files for in-stadium noise during quarantine, the Chicago Bears were sued for millions Tuesday following the franchise’s unlicensed use of other teams’ cheering sounds. “It is obvious to any listener these sounds of joy and applause were not created by the Chicago Bears football team,” said Patty O’Virnicher, an attorney representing several organizations including the Ravens and Seahawks, who claimed the damaged parties had never given permission for the sound of their fans cheering for touchdowns to be used by the Bears. “The Packers and my other clients have worked hard to generate these outpourings of celebratory sound, and for the Bears to lift them like this is outrageous. People that hear this might get the idea that fans support this team, and that is an outright lie. In fact, these sounds being played during Bears games cheapen the entire act of cheering itself, as well as directly harming the value of these franchises and the NFL.” At press time the Bears’ legal team had failed to show at court after accidentally locking themselves out of their office, losing their cell phones, and then inadvertently burning the building down while trying to break back in. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Despite COVID, Bucky Crushes Michigan (Again) Sprinting out to another 28-zip half time lead (again), the Badgers showed they are a force to be reckoned with. This time, it was a swarming Jimmy Leonard D and grinding 341-yard running game that did the trick. Mertz fell back to Earth and played like a freshman on his second start who was recovering from COVID, 12-22 passing with only 2 TD’s. You saw all the highlights, so we will not rehash all that glorious news. Here at BU we are pleased to see the stud freshmen we have been hyping do some great things on the field. 4 star LB Nick Herbig from Hawaii led the D in tackles, three of them for losses. Keep an eye on him in the coming week. New Jersey native, Jalen Berger, had his chance to shine with the RB corps COVID depleted. He led the team with 87 yards rushing and a 6.8 yard average. We have a feeling this is just a glimpse of what is to come. Chi Dike is a known quantity to BU, being from Waukesha North. He had a couple awesome catches at WR and a nifty 19-yard jet sweep scamper while DD3 had the dropsies and/or fumblitus. Looking ahead to next Saturday, Bucky heads down to Ryan Field in Evanston to play 4-0 and 19th ranked Northwestern. While our scouting report says the Wildcats are not as good as their record and ranking indicate, we all know the season maiming debacles we have had against them in the past. We are still pissed about the “take a knee” game and Jazz Peavy’s non-TD touchdown with 7 full steps in the endzone. NW is improved over last year with an Indiana-poached QB, Peyton Ramsay. Their top RB Drake Anderson is averaging under 50 yards a game and sports a man bun. On the other side of the ball, the Wildcats are pretty tough with one of the tougher LB crews in the Big Ten. On paper, Bucky should win this one going away, but we have to watch out! Still we go with each team’s respective points per game and come with a Bucky victory 47-28. That is unless the predicted rain and wind show up, in which case we go to 27-9 in a grinder. The Badger Underground will listen to the 1st half of the game from a tree stand with 1 earbud in (as is the annual opening day deer hunting tradition), then watch the 2nd half at the bar / registration station. Good luck at deer camp this year, boys! (Stay warm...) We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Let’s get this out of the way first…we are not favored to win this game. The Colts are a good team, they just knocked the snot out of the Titans in their last game and we looked like dogs against the Jags. In the table below you can see we are slightly more prolific on Offense, but nowhere near as good as they are on Defense. Overall in point differential we rank 9th, compared to the Colts at 5th. Throw in a couple of points for home field advantage and that would lead you to favor the Colts by a little over 3 points and Vegas has the line at 2.5. Coach loves it when the math works, and it passes the smell test. Historically the Colts are one of the few teams we have a losing record against, 21-23-1, losing by an average of about a point. Since the League re-alignment in 2002 we play every AFC Team once every 4 years, and we are 1-3 against the Colts during that stretch. During the offseason the Colts picked up QB Phillip Rivers from the Chargers and he’s been playing well this year. Rivers’ stats have always been in the upper half of the NFL. We’ve played him four times and he’s only 1-3, but he’s been a “tough-out” each time. Last year, Rivers led the L.A. Bolts in the “Hangover” Game Smackdown. So we have only one game for reference between Rivers and Poutine’s Defense, and it’s not good. The Colts run a really balanced Run/Pass Offense, with T.Y. Hilton at WR and Wisconsin’s own Jonathon Taylor at RB (he’s had an up and down year). The Colts are Coached by Frank Reich, former backup QB to Jim Kelly with the Bills in the 90’s when they tied the Vikings by losing 4 Super Bowls. And he went to Cedar Crest High School. Anyway, the real story of the Colts is the Defense. They have some guys that are familiar foes to the Pack, like DeForest Buckner (DT, former Niners) and Xavier Rhodes (CB, former Vikings). They also have a pair of outstanding ILB’s in Darious Leonard and Anthony Walker. The Colts also have outstanding Special Teams. Last week they blocked a punt in a win against the Titans. But we’ll be OK! (Right?) Well, here’s to hoping that Coach Meningitis has fixed the Punt Team blocking scheme. Well now, here’s something we have going for us…they have very average looking Cheerleaders who are now locked into a “Covid Cage” up in the Club Level Seats. But none of that matters…because we’re gonna be physical this week and knock the tar out of the Colts… In 1959 the Packers got a new Coach, a guy by the name of Lombardi. Very quickly the Packers went from being a doormat to being an ascendent, championship, team. Lombardi instilled toughness, discipline and a will to win. Sixty-one years later the situation is not a lot different. We all still drink National Bohemian Beer (official sponsor of the Baltimore Colts), the Packers and the Colts are both damn good teams and the new Packers Coach is going to instill toughness! The Colts won the 1958 NFL Championship and would go on to win the 1959 Championship as well. Lombardi’s crew faced the Colts twice that year and got blown out the first time. In the second game, played in Milwaukee, a 4th year QB named Bart Starr got his first start under Lombardi. Bart did not do so well prior to Lombardi’s arrival, he went 3-15-1 in starting 19 of the Packers 33 games over the ’56, ’57 and ’58 seasons. For the record, the Packers finished out ’59 going 4-1 with Bart at QB and had an overall record of 7-5 in Lombardi’s 1st year. The Colts game did not start well for Bart. On the first drive Bart attempted a swing pass intended for The Golden Boy, Paul Horning (RIP), but Paul sees the D and short-arms the catch. The interception was made by “Big Daddy” Gene Lipscomb, a former U.S. Marine and eventually an All-Star Wrestler. At 6-6”, 284 pounds, Lipscomb was a giant in his day. By half-time the Colts were up 21-3, and then Bart and the boys took over. On a tough 3rd Down, Bart decides to keep the ball and then look at the hit he puts on the Safety, Johnny Sample. Wow, what a smack!! Brett Favre was not our first tough-QB. The Lombardi Offense was just coming together in 1959. Jerry Kramer pulls from his Guard position to lead Jimmy Taylor in a poetic demonstration of the Lombardi Sweep. Simply beautiful. Sometimes it seems like Petite Fleur is given credit for inventing the pass to the running backs. Well for the record, Vincent Thomas Lombardi had a pretty good handle on how it should work. The Packers had a tremendous 2nd Half and outscored the Colts 21-7, but alas, it was too little too late. But that 2nd Half set the tone, and the Packers would not lose again for the rest of the year. We’ve lost a lot of the 1960’s Packers, the most recent being Paul Horning. When you look at the clips above you can’t help but remember that the Packers have always been a very offensively minded and innovative team, but also a very physical, dominating team. Let the average punter waste his bet, in a “Remember The Golden Boy” special, we will dominate this game. Packers 34 Colts 27 Chevon McNuggets - G.O.A.T. facts to chew on JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them Contrary to popular myth purported all over the internet, Coach is here to confirm that it is highly unlikely Ellen DeGeneres is the illegitimate daughter of former Packers player Steve Meilinger. First off, DeGeneres is from Louisiana, and the Saints weren’t even an NFL team when she was born, so how was a twenty-something Meilinger supposed to get down there to pull that off? I mean, sure, they look a LOT alike. And she IS a devout Packers fan. Still, there are at least 2 other guys I can think of who might have done it. Anyways, here’s more on Meilinger… Stephen Frank Meilinger played college ball at Kentucky for head coach Paul “Bear” Bryant (that’s right) and was eventually drafted in the 1st round of the 1954 NFL Draft by the Washington Redskins (that’s right). In 1951 Meilinger emerged as a receiving standout for the Wildcats, making their star senior quarterback, and Packers subsequent 1st round pick, Vito “Babe” Parilli, look really good (when Lombardi arrived in Green Bay in 1959, he let Parilli go in favor of another Starr). Meilinger turned into a Randall Cobb-style jack of all trades for Kentucky. With both QB’s hurt and a Halloween meeting in Miami against the Hurricanes approaching, coach Bear Bryant told Meilinger he would start at quarterback – a position he had never played before! Still wearing the No. 80 jersey of an end, Meilinger ran for a TD, set up a score by throwing a 49-yd pass, moved back to end and caught a TD pass, and led UK to a 29-0 win over Miami. After being drafted by Washington, Steve Meilinger immediately went into the Army for 2-years before joining the Redskins team in 1956. Meilinger played in DC for 2 years before spending the next 3 years in Green Bay. When coach Vince Lombardi arrived and began assembling his championship roster, he kept Meilinger on the “taxi squad” as an injured player in 1959 before starting him as a slot back in 1960. That’s right, Meilinger played college football for Bear Bryant and pro football in Green Bay for Vince Lombardi. Yet in 2013 he said the coach who made the biggest impact on his life was John Butler at Liberty High School in Bethlehem, PA. “I quit school in 9th grade,” Meilinger explained. “I wasn’t going to go back, but Butler came after me. He talked me into going back to school. …I owe John Butler a great debt of gratitude.” Good choice, Steve. So today we salute you, Stephen Frank Meilinger, as a great former Packer and probably not the father of supposed love child Ellen DeGeneres. ...And to you kids out there: stay in school!
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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