Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: LaFleur’s press conferences are ripe for a holiday drinking game… When Coach was in college, one of the local TV stations played re-runs of the old Bob Newhart Show. Now, in case you haven’t seen it, that show featured humorist, Bob Newhart, as the main character. Try to stay with me here. A quirky aspect of the show was that whenever a guest came to visit Bob at his apartment, that visitor would walk in and say “Hi, Bob!” We weren’t the first group of guys to do this, but we would take a drink whenever “Hi, Bob!” was heard coming from the TV. For the most part, Bob never left his apartment, and every show was basically about visitors popping in to say hi. Ipso facto, we all got drunk and handed in our labs late. Along those lines, Coach has now compiled for you the most common words, phrases and themes repeatedly used by the Packers head coach, ensuring that The Matt LaFleur Press Conference Drinking Game will be the hit of your next holiday party! Just YouTube any Matt LaFleur press conference, and pull out the game board: WARNING: You will be absolutely hammered when the press conference is over. …at least, in Coach’s humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme It’s time for a rest! It’s nice to get a week off after win over one of the NFC’s top teams and to have the Division Lead at 9-3. "We talked about emptying the tank and I think we're at a point where everybody's pretty exhausted," LaFleur said. "But it definitely feels good going into the bye week on a win." Unfortunately, Randal Cobb suffered a core muscle tear and he had to have surgery, hopefully he can get back in time for the playoffs. Asked for insight into the 2021 Season, Arlington Heights Staleys former TE Spike Ditka had this to say: Thru Game 12 Rodgers has done pretty well and is currently 2nd in the odds for 2021 MVP. Note here: we want a Super Bowl, Coach does not actually give a pile of feces if Erin gets a 4th MVP. Thru 12 games, the Pack are currently averaging 23.6 Pts/GM and are ranked 15th, well off the pace of last year. But, in the last two weeks, the Packers have nearly matched their league-leading scoring average of 31.8 points per game from last season. Even throwing out Rasul Douglas’ interception return for a touchdown against the Rams, the Packers’ offense has accounted for 61 points over the last two games. Rodgers believes the last two games, including Sunday’s 36-28 win over the Los Angeles Rams at Lambeau Field, should have been even more productive. “This should've been a 40-point game for us, like we felt last week [should have been],” Rodgers said after throwing for 307 yards and two touchdowns. “We're just not clicking in the red zone.” On Sunday, they converted only three of their five red zone trips into touchdowns. In last week’s 34-31 loss at the Minnesota Vikings, they were 2-for-3. This from a team that led the NFL and set a franchise record with an 80% touchdown rate inside the 20-yard line last season. “That's been kind of our bugaboo this season,” Rodgers said. “We had a couple opportunities with short fields on turnovers and only turned them into six points. That can't keep going.” Their 55.3% red zone touchdown rate likely will be one of coach Matt LaFleur’s areas of focus during this week’s bye. Rodgers is quietly improving as the 2021 Season rolls along. He’s second in the NFL with a 105.5 passer rating, and he’s in the top 10 in touchdown percentage, interception percentage and yards per attempt. Since that Week 1 debacle against the Saints, Rodgers has thrown 23 touchdowns vs. only two interceptions. In a spectacular insight, Packers Offensive Coordinator noted: “He’s really good. He’s really good.” Thanks, Coach Hackett, we didn’t know that. LaFleur and Rodgers did a great job of making the most of their opportunities against the star corner. Ramsey was targeted seven times, allowing a reception on every target for a combined 48 yards. Randall Cobb was also a huge factor in beating the Rams, he caught four passes for 95 yards and a TD in the first half. Unfortunately, he left the game at Half-Time with his core muscle injury. The win was great, but some of the recurring problems reared their ugly heads … let’s hope these got fixed over the Bye Week. Erin going Tin-Cup and not taking the 1st-Down. By Coach’s count, this is the 12th time this year that Erin has taken-and-missed deep shot instead of the short check-down pass for a 1st Down. Coach has also noticed this ignoring-of-the-1st-down-gimme as a stark difference between 12-Rodgers and 12-Brady. Just sayin. Amarone Rodgers is a liability on Punt Returns A key concept that Coach likes to emphasize is that you should stay on your feet when trying to return punts. A 2nd concept is that when we are playing at home, one of the things you can do in preparation for the game is to work with the equipment guys to get the correct length of spikes so that you don’t slip. Coach realizes that these are advanced concepts that a Rookie might have difficulty with, but we are ¾ of the way through the year now so really there are no more “Rookie” excuses at this point. Hoping to cover over the problems with Amarone, the Pack inserted the normally reliable Cobby, who promptly muffed a punt catch at 8:13 in the 2nd Qtr, giving the Rams the ball at the Packers 25. Facing 3rd & 3 at the 18, OBJ got a welcome-to-Lambeau on his first target and fortunately this Special Teams disaster was limited to 3 points. Place Kicking is a problem Crosby is struggling and obviously wants to give the kicker opportunities to build confidence (and get points). Give LaFleur credit … he caught himself in a potential mistake and pulled Crosby off the field rather than risk a missed 45-yard FG in the 1st Qtr. To this point, Special Teams is probably the biggest barrier to a 5th Lombardi in the trophy case. The Defense is good Rashan Gary is pretty damn good. Questions were raised about Gary being an underperformer in college and maybe Gutey was reaching for him as a 1st Rnd draft pick. This strip sack is just one more example of the great 2021 he’s having; too bad that Preston Smith didn’t get to the endzone, but this fumble was converted into a TD three plays later. Can this DL replicate the 2020 “1,000-pound line” of Ryan Pickett, B.J. Raji and Howard Green stuffing the run? Let’s hope so, but maybe they can be even better. The legend of Kenny Clark is building in the month of December. He has 73 tackles (12 for loss), 10 sacks and 14 quarterback hits in 20 December games. He might be the most well-rounded player at his position. Fingers Crossed that Jaire is back soon As well as the Defense is doing overall, there are still plenty of things to fix. The Packers have been one of the best in the NFL at eliminating big-play passes. Green Bay is 10th with 34 passes of 20-plus yards allowed. While that’s much better than recent years, the Packers gave up a season-worst seven vs. Minnesota. They gave up only three vs. the Rams, but two of those were for long touchdowns. Let’s hope Jaire Alexander is back on the field very soon. Same Ole Jay! Charles Woodson was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame and his name and number were added to the Packers Ring of Honor in Lambeau Field during a ceremony at Half-Time of the Rams game. In a fitting tribute to the Charles-Woodson/Jay-Cutler combo, Matthew Stafford threw a Pick-6 to 2021 Surprise Hero Rasul Douglas (aka Wood-Jr). The 33-yd TD return with 1:52 left in the 3rd Qtr. to put the Packers up 36-17 and was the dagger for the game. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Jags Rookie Coach Still Adjusting To Speed Of NFL Cover-Ups JACKSONVILLE, FL—Apologizing to Jaguars fans for his early failures in leading the team, Jacksonville coach Urban Liar admitted to reporters Tuesday that he is still adjusting to the speed of NFL cover-ups. “At the college level, these scandals take a lot longer to develop, and I’ll admit I just haven’t done the work to adjust my press strategy from Ohio State,” said Liar, who explained that he was often able to shut down a damaging story or sweep a player’s transgressions under the rug with a single phone call while running a college program. “The NFL media ecosystem is just more complex than college, so I can’t run with the same simple denials I used in the past. I’m dealing with grown adults now, and lots of people have their own ideas that I can’t just override by throwing them off the team or threatening to take away a scholarship. Jaguars fans deserve a better level of cover-up than I’ve been providing, and I’m committed to learning and getting better.” At press time, Liar had hired a former assistant from the Steelers so he could learn how they managed to sweep everything Ben Roethlisberger has done under the rug. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Bisexual Player Ruins Support For Bears Fan Who Preferred Smoldering Homoerotic Undertones CHICAGO—Lamenting that the Bears standout’s good run had come to an end, local man Eugene Edgars told reporters Tuesday that Roquan Smith’s recent announcement of his bisexuality had “completely ruined it” for him as he preferred the linebacker’s smoldering homoerotic undertones. “Man, I miss it when Roquan’s sexual attraction to males was there just bubbling below the surface rather than this overblown crap kowtowing to the woke mob,” said Edgars, recounting that whether “Ro-Smith” was lusting after AJ Dillon, D'Andre Swift, or Adam Thielen, it was always way more exciting when he had to grapple with these all-consuming feelings of sexual desire knowing they could never be acted upon. “It’s sad we’re not going to have any more of those knowing glances between him and Dalvin Cook, or those moments when his hand accidentally brushes up against Aaron Rodgers. Now that he’s gone and spelled it all out, it definitely loses a lot of its mystery and excitement.” Edgars reportedly took solace in the fact that he still could support the entire Bulls starting roster. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Badgers Run Game Axed We have to give a little credit to the Gophers for showing up. They had a good defensive plan where they depended on their physical DB’s to take care of our lackluster WR’s. Mertz was exposed as the so-so QB he is. With the run game going nowhere, he threw more than usual and totally Mertz’ed it. As always, there were some close and questionable calls, but basically Minnie deserved to win after trailing in a first half grinder. Could Chryst have had a better offensive plan? Gee, what do you think? Chryst’s 3-page playbook made Pee-J look like Nick Saban. Paul could have opened things up with more outside runs and high percentage passes. The single biggest challenge for this offense is that it doesn't have a Cephus/Abbrederis/Evans/Chambers at WR. MN’s more physical DB’s abused our receivers just as their more physical receivers abused our DB’s. The Goof’s DL pushed around the Bucky OL and limited Braelon Allen to a paltry 47 yards, who was dinged up as usual. Our D was pretty solid and contributed a pick 6 by Nelson. However, Nebraska and Minnesota exposed the "pretend you're a blocker and then go out for a pass"; hole in the UW defense. You can't take away everything, so Leonhard has correctly assumed that most teams (not NEB or MN) will see how much pressure we put on and always keep that extra guy in. He knows our DB's can't cover for very long, so the idea of forcing the QB to make quick decisions seems like a wise one. The problem is immediate pressure doesn't faze a QB when he's 100% sure his safety valve TE/FB is uncovered. C’mon Jimmy! Make the adjustment in the Bowl! In the woulda, shoulda category, we at BU were licking our chops for a Michigan rematch. We shoulda beat the Goofs. With the Weasels trouncing the Bucknuts, Bucky woulda moved up nicely in the polls and gone to Indy with a massive chip on their shoulder. With a win at Indy, there of course woulda been no playoff for UW, but a top 6 bowl woulda been probable, maybe the Peach, Fiesta, or Sugar Bowls. Now Bucky has a crappy bowl game to look forward to with the Las Vegas Bowl on December 30 against the Arizona State Sun Devils who were also 8-4. Finally, we wish the worst to coaches who bail on their teams before their bowl games, especially good bowl games. Kelly’s exit was even worse than Bielema’s before the 2012 Rose Bowl. He let his team know by tweet (click on link) after the leaks were around for many days. Then he met face to face with the team for 2 minutes and left without questions (clink on links). Presented without comment: (You're welcome.) We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Sometimes intentional, other times ad lib, but Rodgers added a new all-time expression to the Packers history book this year. "R-E-L-A-X” In 2014, after the third straight 1-2 start and two days after a 19-7 loss at the Detroit Lions, Rodgers said: "Five letters here just for everybody out there in Packer-land: R-E-L-A-X," Rodgers said as he slowly read off the letters one by one. "Relax. We're going to be OK." The Packers lost only twice more in the regular season to finish 12-4 and reach the NFC Championship Game. "Run the table” In 2016, after a 4-6 start and on a four-game losing streak, he said they could “run the table”. Six straight regular season wins, plus two playoff wins, put them in the NFC Championship Game. "I still own you” This year when Rodgers beat the Arlington Heights Staleys for the fifth straight time, and the 22nd time in 27 starts Rodgers responded to the fat lady flipping him off the most memorable at all. Worried that he will motivate the Staleys? No. Why? They Suck. Said Packers running back Aaron Jones: "What can you say? He's right." Packers reject TE, and Staleys journeyman, Jimmy Graham didn't take offense to Aaron Rodgers' "I own you" comment, responding "We've just got to stop them." Rodgers doubled-down saying, "At some point, what I said will be used against me -- that's just part of it. But I have no regrets for saying what I said, and obviously I think the record kinda speaks for itself. But I get it. At some point that will be used against me. It is what it is. I don't regret saying it at all." But can the Staleys stop us? Hell no! The Staleys had their chance to show the NFL, their fans and themselves that they could right the ship and beat the NFC’s No. 1 seed last week at Soldiers Fields. Not only did they lose, they were completely destroyed by the Cardinals – having to swallow whatever jagged little pill came their way. The Bears Offense (table below) is currently ranked 30th in Pts/GM. We have been mediocre all year and are ranked 16th, even so, we have an almost 7 Pt/GM advantage over the Staleys. Our Defense has an almost 4 Pt/GM advantage over the Bears and we’re ranked 5th to the Bears 22nd ranking. Put together and we are averaging a 10.5 Pt/GM advantage over the Staleys. Throw in a couple of points for Home Field Advantage and the Packers have a 12.5-point advantage over the Arlington Heights Staleys. Guess what? We are 12.5-point favorites. That 12.5-point line is the largest of any Packers game this season, with the Lions game being the only other time we were double digit favorites. Green Bay leads the league in most wins against the spread and against the spread win percentage with a record of 10-2 when bet on this season. A couple of other fun notes. With J-Love out on Covid protocol, fan fave Kurt Benkert (or is it Ben Kertben?) was signed to the active roster. Needing a warm body to replace Benkert and to run the Scout Team, the Pack signed Danny Etling, a seventh-round draft pick by New England in 2018, to the practice squad. During his Pats rookie training camp, he was the No. 3 quarterback behind Brady and Brian Hoyer. While he didn’t do much through the air – he had a woeful 52.3 passer rating – he made one of the plays of the preseason with an 86-yard touchdown run. Not only can the Pack have fun with another beat down of the Staleys this week, we can clinch a Playoff Berth with: Packers win + Saints loss or tie + 49ers loss -or - Packers win + Saints loss or tie + Rams loss + 49ers tie All the Stats-n-Stuff are fun … but let’s get back to basics for a quick second. Why will we win? The Pack will cover the spread and send the Staleys back to Arlington Heights to start the search for a new GM and Head Coach (again). Coach will save this paragraph for next year’s December edition as well. Packers: 31 Staley’s: 17 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them Even though the rest of our Special Teams suck the bag, Corkey “Bojo” Bojorquez has been a pretty decent replacement for good ol’ JK Scott, en so? So life goes on, but it wasn’t all that long ago when this week’s hero replaced an incumbent punter thought to be a Packers mainstay… ‘Twas the summer of 1991, a pivotal 4th year at the helm for head coach Lindy Infante, and he knew he had to shake things up or he’d be out the door. Being the wise sage that has was, Infante fired a shot across the bow of his entire mediocre squad by replacing their 6-year veteran punter Don Bracken (R.I.P.) with training camp circuit upstart Paul McJulien (aka “the cute one”), despite Bracken’s mediocre 39.7 yard average. Oh, how the locker room shook! McJulien was not only a 26-year old rookie, but he was a founding member of The Beetles, and he averaged a whopping 39.8 yards per punt over his 2-year span in Green Bay, which made him approximately 1-inch longer than Bracken (that’s what she said). But don’t feel too bad for Don Bracken; even though had to sit out all of the 1991 season, he was picked up by the Rams in 1992, the same year Ron Wolf took over personnel moves in Green Bay. Wolf had seen enough of McJulien’s thinly sliced punts throughout the 1992 season and replaced him in 1993 with the Packers last superstar ProBowl punter, Craig Hentrich. So where did Paul McJulien end up in 1993? You guessed it: he replaced Don Bracken (again) … in Los Angeles.
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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