Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: …the holiday traditions that NFL players have shared might not be all that impressive. Texans wide receiver - Brandin Cooks Jaguars quarterback, Trevor Lawrence Buccaneers quarterback, Tom Brady Jets quarterback, Zach Wilson Patriots right tackle, Trent Brown Chiefs wide receiver, Tyreek Hill Giants running back, Saquon Barkley Packers former quarterback, Brett Favre I think we all can create better holiday traditions than these knuckleheads. … at least, in Coach’s humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme We have the best record in the NFL without:
Matt LaFleur is Coach of the Year … mic drop And as an added schadenfreude bonus… … the Arlington Heights Staleys and the Portsmouth Lions were officially eliminated last weekend from the 2021 Super Bowl Tournament. What did Coach say ta youse last week? With Kenny Clark possibly out on a Covid Vacation, we might struggle a bit on Defense, but we have a much better team, and the Ravens have a worse injury record this year. Never-the-less … Jackson is just not in Rodgers’ league. Packers: 28 Ravens: 24 The game was Over the O/U, and the 31-30 final was even closer than the prediction … but Aaron Rodgers (132.2 Passer Rating) was better than backup Huntley (99.5 Passer Rating, but who was just as mobile as the injured Jackson). Offense (falls into the "I think I've seen this movie before" category...) Like pretty much every game this year the Offense started slow … long TD drives capped by AJ Dillion and Davante Adams TD’s, bracketed by a 3-and-out and a 4-and-out. And, also like many other games, the Pack went on a 17-3 run to start the 2nd half, starting with a 3rd Qtr opening drive of 80 yards in 13 plays ending with a TD pass to Aaron Jones. After giving up a FG, the Pack went up 28-17 after an 11 play, 88 yard drive ending in an MVS TD. The Pack went on to add a FG to make the score 31-17, but it “shudda” been 35-17 and a dagger into the “Old Browns”. Alas, Rodgers missed Lazard in the EZ twice during the game; the first time didn’t matter as Adams scored on the next play, but this one cost us 4 points and gave the Old Browns an opening to get back into the game. Defense (falls into the "I still don't trust our D in the playoffs" category...) Maybe injuries have caught up with the D, particularly with Kenny Clark not playing. But my heavens, it doesn’t explain how Darnell Salvage had his worst game as a pro. On the Old Browns first drive, Darrell Salvage went for the ball or pick instead of wrapping up TE Erin Andrews … which led to a 44-yard gain and the drive ended in a TD. Coach supposes that Savage lost his confidence as he was beaten like a drum by Andrews all day (10 receptions, 136 yards and 2 TD’s). WTF, reverse the technique on the two plays and Savage has it nailed. If he goes for the tackle in the first clip, he saves 40 yards. If he goes for the ball in the second, he saves 7 points … a one game lapse? Let’s hope so. The other problem all day was Huntley running for back-breaking 1st Downs and two TD’s. A recurring theme through the Capers and Poutine Defensive Regimes was lack of outside contain on pass and running plays. All four outside linebackers: Rashan Gary, Preston Smith, Jonathan Garvin and Tipa Galeai were culpable at various points in the game. Huntley was a problem all day (23 carries for 73 yards and two TD’s). Not having Clark to push the middle of the pocket was definitely a problem. Another problem? Not putting 11 guys on the field. WTF? Is Coach LaFleur bringing Maurice Drayton in to consult on Defensive alignments? It would help if both outside linebackers were on the field for every play. Up 31-17, apparently BeriBeri was feeling sorry for the Old Browns. On Huntley's three-yard touchdown around left end in the 4th, the Packers had a mind blowing substitution mistake and lined up with only one outside linebacker, Garvin, on the field. Both Smith and Gary left the game before the play, but only Garvin replaced them, and the Packers had only 10 players on the field. Yup, up 31-17 we let them back in the game with one mistake after another on Defense as they scored 13 unanswered points … and we were saved on a tipped 2-pt conversion. Moving on to an even more important question… How does this inept moron have a job? How bad were the special teams against the Baltimore Ravens? Let's count the ways. Green Bay defensive back Isaac Yiadom was called for fair catch interference early in the game when he ran over Baltimore's returner. Coach can’t ever recall this ever happening before – ever. Sure, guys have been blocked into the returner before, but never has a gunner watched a returner call for a fair catch and then run into him anyways. Unbelievable! ST Coordinator Mo Drayton said in his press conference that the returner leaned into Yiadom. Not only is Drayton inept at coaching, he sucks at bullshitting, too. After the Ravens cut the gap to 21-17 in the third quarter, the Packers could barely come up with a bloop kickoff. Throw in a delay of game on the punt team followed by a short punt with the game hanging in balance (after which the Old Browns scored) and you have a perfect formula to be One-and-Done in the Playoffs. Fire Drayton and hire any HS Coach in WI to run the Special Teams … and do it before Santa and the New Browns arrive Saturday! So how have we made it to 11-3? The macro stats are good, but not great. We are 14th on Offense, 10th on Defense and 10th on overall Point Differential. The answer is that we are doing very well on two stats that are not as visible. We are 2nd in net Turnover Margin and 3rd in Penalties per Game. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Friends, Family Worried Rock-Bottom Warren Sapp Will End Up With Own ESPN Morning Show MIAMI—Defensive lineman Warren Sapp spent 12 years in the NFL, earning more than $82 million over the course of his career. But a bad real estate deal, alimony and child support payments totaling $74,495 a month, and a lavish lifestyle all contributed to a bankruptcy filing in 2012, five years after he retired. Sapp claimed he couldn’t pay his $6.7 million in debt, even though he was still earning hundreds of thousands of dollars every month as a TV analyst and in appearance fees. Now, expressing concern over a recent spate of social media outbursts and drunken interviews, friends and family were reportedly worried Thursday that Warren Sapp’s downward spiral would lead to the former Buccaneer hosting an ESPN morning show. “Warren doesn’t look like himself lately, and I’d hate for him to sink to hosting a debate show with Suzy Kolber,” said a source close to Sapp, speaking on the condition of anonymity, who hoped to prevent the NFL Hall of Famer from spending the rest of his life debating trivial topics in a sterile Bristol, Connecticut studio. “The absolute worst-case scenario is him wearing some stupid hat because he lost a bet to Steven A. I’d hate to see an all-time great—and a friend— reduced to regurgitating talking points and screaming uninformed opinions. If he keeps pushing his tell-all book and wine brand so aggressively, it’ll only lead to him struggling to work an ESPN touchscreen.” At press time, Sapp’s loved ones hosted an intervention after the seven-time NFL All-Star drunkenly set up a green screen in his basement. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Allen Robinson Gives Bears List Of 12,482 Preferred Trade Destinations CHICAGO—After another disgraceful home loss (this time at the hands of the lowly Vikings), and their annual early elimination from making the playoffs, wide receiver Allen Robinson expressed a willingness to work with the Bears on figuring out the best deal for both parties, telling reporters that he has provided the organization brass with a list of 12,482 preferred trade destinations. “My list definitely includes the Buccanears, the Chiefs, any California team, and every SEC team,” said Robinson, who claimed his dissatisfaction with Bears’ front office was behind his push to join the Chargers, the Crimson Tide, or Google’s corporate front office. “Honestly, I’d even be happier in Detroit, there is a KFC in Indianapolis that would work for me, or any youth soccer team in Maryland where I could actually make a meaningful impact. I think my top choice besides the Seahawks would be the International Space Station.” At press time, the Bears were considering an offer for Robinson of a $100 gift card from a Best Buy in Trenton, New Jersey. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Bucky Preps for Arizona State at Las Vegas Bowl These two teams on paper initially looked like a great match up. Identical records, check. Similar stats, check. Bucky is a bit better at D and the Sun Satans are a bit better at O in a conference that doesn’t play D. The last meeting was too long ago for anyone on the team (coaches included) to remember. So, there will be no chips on shoulders unless there is some nefarious alum tacking stuff to the bulletin board. Back in 2013, Bucky lost in the desert with a combo of Fail Mary, Bostick onside and Jazz Peavy 7 steps in the EZ TD catch. It was ugly, BS and ruined a good season. On behalf of some alumni who never forget (CLICK ON LINK), we hope Bucky hits ASU so hard that their helmets pop off and roll on the field with their heads in it. Here at the Badger Underground, we think:
The renegade Spotted Cow has already been delivered to select bars on the strip and the Johnsonville Brat semi is en route. With the intention of enhancing the postgame experience coach Chryst’s intern has hired a new staff member, funding the position from the soon-to-be-departed (but not soon enough) Joe Rudolph salary line. It is a relatively short road trip from Tempe to Vegas. These ladies don’t care who is opting out or transferring. Steer clear of the roofies! We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Let’s go way back in time to last week and review the Old Browns / New Browns story. In this week’s episode, the New Browns were created in 1999 (just like my kid was, on a davenport). Erin Rogers first game against the New Browns was in the 2009 Season and he opened the scoring with a 45-yard TD pass to Spencer Havner. My kid was 9, and we watched the game together on our new couch. How do we match-up statistically against the Brownies? Pretty well. They are a little bit worse on both Offense and Defense, throw in a coupletree points for Home Field advantage and we are about 7 pts better, pretty close to the Vegas line of 7.5. (After publishing this table for a couple of years now, Coach hopes that you, the loyal reader, have caught on to this magic formula which almost always explains the Vegas betting line on NFL games.) All time we are 13-7 against Cleveland with an almost 6 point winning margin. During the Rodgers era, the Pack is 3-0 against the Turds, including the Bert Hundley/Melissa McCarthy win in OT in 2017. Not a long track record … but yeah, we own them too. Why will we win They have a bunch of injuries; wait, so do we ... They have a bunch of Covid guys; wait, so do we ... They have this guy… And they have regressed since last year for 4 primary reasons...
How much did one COVID-stricken game mean to the Cleveland Browns? In a matter of two minutes (actual game time), the Browns went from being the leader in the AFC North with a potential victory, to the last-place team in the division with the 16-14 last-second-field-goal loss to the Las Vegas Raiders. The Browns will be steaming in the cold Green Bay air as they exit the tunnel, but we will cover the line and be better than the all-time average… (and Erin with get “The Record”). Packers: 28 New Browns: 17 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them This week Coach has relatives coming over for Christmas, and it reminds him of holiday visits to Grandma’s when he was a kid. One of the things I couldn’t figure out when we went there -- what the heck is a Davenport? Grandpa Coach used to say, “Be a good boy sonny and get my Pall Mall cigarettes out from under the Davenport,” or “Flip the cushions before Uncle Donnie passes out on the Davenport,” or something like that. I thought it was a fictional place, like the North Pole or the Vikings trophy case. Then when I grew up I finally found out what a Davenport was, it's a running back for the Green Bay Packers. Najeh Trenadious Monté Davenport was drafted by the Packers in the 4th round of the 2002 NFL Draft. Like poor Hall of Famer Warren Sapp, Davenport played college football at the University of Miami where he won a national championship. Most of his NFL career was plagued by fumbles and injuries that kept him off the playing field, despite his natural abilities. In his rookie campaign, he rushed for a respectable 4.7 yards per carry average before fracturing his left eye socket. Ouch. In 2003, injuries were minimal and he rushed for 5.45 yards per carry, good for the second highest in the NFL, and 30.1 yards per kick return. Mister we could use a man like Najeh Davenport again. On November 29, 2004, Davenport, in his first NFL start, rushed for 178 yards, 3rd highest debut start yardage in the NFL for the past 20 years. But later that year, Davenport broke his ribs and couldn’t take the pounding that the NFL deals out to RB’s. Fast forward to 2005, after starting running back Ahman Green went down with a quadriceps injury, Davenport took over as starter. In what would be his only start of the season, versus the Saints, Davenport scored two 1st-half touchdowns before breaking his ankle, putting him on IR and effectively ending his stint with the Packers. Off the field, you’ve probably heard of the notorious summer of 2004 locker room brawl between Najeh Davenport and backup quarterback, Tim Couch. Davenport more or less stated that Couch didn't meet the Packers high performance standards and essentially forced him out of the building. So Merry Christmas to all of Coach’s loyal readers. It should be no surprise to you that Christmas is Coach’s favorite holiday, mostly because it doesn’t land during the short week of the gun buck season, and I get to by myself cool shit in December without having to explain why to Mrs. Coach other than saying “It’s for Christmas!” What’s more, it’s a lot less confusing than Easter. At Christmas, we’re celebrating the birth of Christ – everyone gets presents! Cool! At Easter, another Christian holiday, I don’t get a day off of work (I already get Sundays off), we hide eggs, and there’s a bunny. I don’t get it. Anyway, here’s to Najeh Davenport! Hurray.
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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