Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: Milwaukee fans secretly have been preparing the Packers for China Virus for 25 years… Much hubbub has been made about empty stadiums negatively affecting the so-called “home field advantage.” Maybe there’s something to that notion, considering the Packers put up 43 on the road against the Vikings, where they historically have not played well. The volume of the hometown crowd typically makes it difficult for visiting offensive linemen to adjust their blocking assignments with efficacy at the line of scrimmage. So ponder this: with the absence of Minnesota crowd noise, the Packers were able to achieve the highest O-line ranking across the entire NFL in Week 1, despite losing 2 starters and playing a rookie (John Runyan) for 15 snaps. So how does that help them this week at Lambeau, where the visiting Lions are apt to enjoy the same decibel-leveling of the playing field? That’s where our Gold Package brethren have earned their keep. You see, when the Packers left Milwaukee County Stadium for good in 1995 (prior to that the Packers played 3 “home” games there each season), Bob Harlan threw our southern city slickers a bone by giving those season ticket holders access to 2 regular season games and 1 preseason game in Green Bay. This Milwaukee Season Ticket holder package was renamed the “Gold Package” (whereas “Green Package” ticket holders got 1 preseason game and 6 regular season games at Lambeau). Since then, Gold Package games (a.k.a. “Milwaukee games”) have notoriously been marked by quiet crowds, or bassackward fans cheering loudly while the Packers are on Offense and sitting on their mittens while the D takes the field. This bizarro world of fandom, which quarterback Aaron Rodgers has repeatedly criticized publicly, has actually prepared the team for wild success during our most recent pandemic. Note that no newsprint articles were found regarding the effects of the last pandemic, the Spanish Flu, on Green Bay Packers fan attendance, as it was becoming “old news” in Brown County by fall of 1919 after already claiming 675,000 American lives since first being detected in U.S. military personnel in the spring of 1918, but I digress… To honor their foresight and resultant contributions toward the success of the team this season, Packers President and Chief Executive Lawyer Mark Murphy has declared that all 2020 regular season home games are now Gold Package games! (Of course, to keep things fair, in the following 3 seasons Green Package ticket holders will then get the Gold Package ticket holders' games.) So congratulations to Milwaukee fans for getting both Green and Gold ticket packages this year! And who could blame Murphy for such a magnanimous gesture? After all, having no fans in the stadium has been well represented by Gold Package ticket holders for 25 years. …at least, in my humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Wow! Whadda game! Let’s not get too excited after one week, but it certainly was a great way to start the 2020 Season. The final was 43-34, but this game was over at half-time with Packers leading 22-10. There were plenty of moments during the game where it was obvious both teams could have used a few Pre-Season Games, but the Packers generally looked much sharper than the Queens. By-the-way, Kirby Cousins is now 1-3-1 as a starter against the Packers. Coach is happy for him that he “got paid”. He doesn’t deserve it, but I’m glad to see the Queens tying up all that money in a mediocre QB. The Drive Chart from the 1st half is a sight to behold. The first two Packer drives were impressive, but only 3 points resulted. The 2nd Qtr was another story. The Defense stopped the Queens and handed the ball back to the Offense in great field position. The Packers simply played one of the best quarters of “complementary football” that they have played in several seasons. and outscored the Vikings 19-3. Game over at the half. Let’s take and step back and review what Coach said last week that they Packers had to do (in blue below): OFFSEASON To-Do List for Gooty/LaFleur…
Gooty got killed in the media for the 2020 draft, but if you look at the team after the cut-down to 53 the picture really makes sense. Let’s break down those predictions in reverse order. The Roster: O-Line – who could ask for more? Brian Bulaga left in Free Agency and was replaced by Detroit (and UW alum) Ricky Wagner. Presumed starters RG Billy Turner and RT Wagner were not-active for the game and not-starting-due-to-injury respectively. Their replacements, Lucas Patrick and Lane Taylor, both left the game with injuries and were replaced by rookie guard Jon Runyan and the injured Wagner. Bulaga was a loss for sure, but the O-Line looks like it has more depth than ever. That seems to be true even with the loss of Lane Taylor for the Season with an ACL tear (sorry Lane, very tough injury having just come off a lost-season-due-to-injury in 2019). Grade for Gooty: B+/A- Rookie Class – who could ask for more? Of course the standard refrain during the Offseason is that A-Rod needs receivers, and Coach knows that many of his loyal readers are frustrated that we took a QB in the 1st Rnd (go back and read the Draft Edition for why this was actually a very good idea). We’ll evaluate the Jordan Love pick in about three years … for now let’s consider that we actually had four (4) rookies play significant snaps during Wk 1 … and they all looked good! If this continues, the 2020 draft class could be one of the best in years. Coach has a few clips to show you to make the point: Rookie 2nd Rnd Draft Pick, RB AJ Dillion, got two carries for 14 yard and looked great on both of them. He’s a massive bowling ball and a RB they need in LaFleur’s wide-zone-run scheme of Offense. Rookie 3rd Rnd Draft Pick, TE Josiah Deguara, was all over the place, he had 7 ST snaps and 24 on Offense, including this nice 12-yard reception. Rookie 6th Rnd Draft Pick, G/C Jon Runyan, came in when Lane Taylor went out with his ACL injury in the 2nd half. The clip above is literally his 2nd play in the NFL and he looks like the real deal. Oh, by the way, his dad was a Pro-Bowl Tackle with the Eagles, was the highest paid NFL lineman at the time and was the last active player to have been drafted by the Houston Oilers. Oh, and he’s in the U.S. Congress now. Just sayin’. Rookie 5th Rnd Draft Pick, LB Kamal Martin, does not have a clip because he is on Injured Reserve (remember he can come back in 3 weeks). By all accounts he was having an outstanding rookie Training Camp and was going to start next to Christian Kirksey at ILB, but he hurt his knee and had it scoped. Let’s hope he’s off IR in a couple of weeks and plays as well as he seemed to be in Camp. “Herman, we got us a football player” Coach’s favorite player story this year is Undrafted Free Agent, LB Krys Barnes. With all of the secrecy protecting Training Camp, Krys was literally not on anyone’s radar. He played 30% of the snaps on D and 30% of the snaps on ST against the Vikings. Right out of the gate he was diagnosing plays and making a contribution … and don’t forget that he beat out the originally presumed starter Oren Burks. The oft injured and truly non-contributor was a 2018 3rd Rounder out of “Linebacker U”, Vanderbilt. The part that Coach really loves? The Pack hid him so well in Camp that they actually cut him during the Roster cut-down to 53 players and then immediately re-signed him to the active roster without another team poaching him (hello Taysom Hill). Any other notable off-season Veteran signings? Well yes son, there were. Coach mentioned OT Wagner above (60% of O-snaps, 25% of ST-snaps) and ILB Christian Kirksey (100% of D-snaps). Oh, by the way, Kirksey led the team with 12 tackles and usually looked like he knew what he was doing (usually being the operative word, he made two major mistakes on Cousin’s scrambles). Another of Coach’s favorite Gooty-moves was with 1st year FA John Lovett. He was the “5th Tight End” in Camp and was Cut to get down to 53. He was then re-signed to the Practice Squad and subsequently activated for game day (remember you can promote 2 guys from the Practice Squad each week under the new rules.) Lovett played 55% of the ST snaps and one (1) on offense. This is a guy to keep an eye-on, he is a Princeton graduate and was a dual threat QB (he threw for 18 TD’s and 1,833 yards in 2018 at Princeton). Wide Receivers? In previous years we’ve had 6 or even 7 WR’s on the roster, this year they “only” kept 5 … and only dressed 4 of them for the game! Oh my Lord, can we play offense with only 4 WR’s? Let’s look at who was active on game day in the O skill position and the % of Offensive Snaps that they played (in parenthesis). TE/H-Back/FB – All TE’s active Robert Tonyan (62%) Marcedes Lewis (41%) Josiah Deguara (31%) Jace Sternberger (15%) John Lovett (1%) WR – 4 players active (ESB inactive) Davante Adams* (90%) Allen Lazard* (88%) MVS* (54%) Malik Taylor (1%) “*” means ran ball and ran pass patterns RB – All RB’s Active Aaron Jones* (54%) Jamaal Williams* (40%) Tyler Ervin* (18%) AJ Dillion (6%) QB – 2 players active (Jordan Love inactive) Aaron Rodgers (97%) Tim Boyle (3%) The Roster is constructed in the way that Matt LaFluer wanted it built, and his game day Roster reflected the same. Twenty-two players played at least one snap on Offense and 20 players played at least one snap on Defense … and all 48 active players that were dressed for the game played in the game!!! We’re only one-game into 2020, but you have to give Gooty his props, this was the perfect roster for Week-1 and it looks like we have depth. In a waaaaaay too early assessment of 2020, Coach is giving Gooty a preliminary grade of A/B for this year’s roster. Working our way backwards through “Gooty/LaFleur To-Do List” above: To-Do # 4 Improve Coverage and Return Teams – mmmm … Incomplete is the grade for now. We only punted once and it was not returned. Kickoffs? Two were returned for and average of 32 yds/return. We had one punt return for Zero yards and one KO return for 18 yards. Overall we did not do well on coverage or returns, but they did not impact the outcome of the game. Stay tuned on this one. To-Do #3 Beef up the Defense --- Grade C We shut them down on all three Viqueens series in the 2nd Qtr and had huge game changing plays that lead to points for us. (The yellow rows in the drive chart at the top). Dalvin Cook was held to 50 yds on 12 carries, which was great, “but”! Overall they averaged 6.1 yds/carry and Cousins had a passer rating of 118.6. We had 41:16 TOP to their 18:44, but we still allowed 382 yards. Coach has (literally) over a dozen plays to show you of major defensive breakdowns, but we don’t have space or time to cover those! The Defensive story revolves around the three big plays in the 2nd Qtr that set the tone for the game: Safety, Sack and INT. Otherwise it was the our Offense who kept the ball and limited the Vikings TOP. Have we “fixed” the D? Can we stop the run? Who the hell knows? Right now it seems like we have talent, but the Coaching and the Scheme are suspect. Coach will get back to you in a few weeks on this question!! To-Do #2 & #1 – Improve the run game and get AR to play the Scheme --- Grade A The skeptics can point to the fact that the Queens had a bunch of new players on D and they have seriously handicapped themselves by hiring Dom Capers as a Defensive Consultant (WTF does that even mean?). However, Coach points out that Viqueens Coach Zimmerwoman has, or at least had, the Defensive Kryptonite that has befuddled Rodgers all the way back to the time that he was the DC for the Ohio Bungles. This no longer seems to be the case! Last year the criticism was that AR had “lost it”, and maybe so. But have a look at this 45 yard bomb to Marquez Valdes-Scantling. MVS has wheels and AR completes the pass almost perfectly in stride (maybe slightly behind). Yes, very clearly Rodgers is all washed-up as an NFL QB. There are a number of ways to evaluate a QB, Quarterback Rating (QBR) being one of the more popular methods (the one you, the avid reader, are used to is the “Passer Rating” which has a max of 158.3). The QBR was introduced by ESPN in 2011 and is meant to be more comprehensive than Passer Rating. It takes into account all of the QB’s play and heavily discounts garbage time stats (look it up if you have an afternoon to waste). For our purposes here, it’s a 0-100 scale and higher is better. AR’s QBR for the Vikings game was 90.5, which is an outstanding. For his career he’s only had 21 games over 90 (last week included). He’s never had an opening day QBR >90, but he came close with an 89.4 vs. the Queens in his 1st game as the fulltime starting QB in 2008. By pretty much any measure it’s clear that AR has been playing at a lower level over the last several years. In the chart below you can see that he only had one game over 90 QBR since the 2016 Season (which was his lights-out game against the Raiders last year). Rodgers clearly had an outstanding all-around game against the Vikings last week. In addition to many passes like the one to MVS above, he was on-fire with his classic hard-count. He had several hard-count induced offsides calls. You don’t think he was listening to all the criticism this offseason? You don’t think that all the talk about Jordan Love didn’t bother him? Clearly Rodgers has been working very hard on learning and trying to play LaFleur’s Offensive system. One tangible measure was that the ball came out on pass plays in 2.3 seconds vs. his 2.9 seconds average over the last few years (compare to the league average of 2.5 seconds). Want another indicator? According to PFF, the Packers receivers only had 3.1 yards of separation from defenders while Rodgers was busy completing 72% of his passes. Last year he averaged 3.7 yards of separation. Translation? He threw it more accurately into tighter windows than he has the last few years. If he keeps playing like this, he will need to make space for another MVP trophy! You don’t think all the “they were the worst 13-3 team ever in 2019” comments bugged Rodgers? There was almost none of the run-around-behind-the-line-of-scrimmage and look for receivers. The ball was coming out on-time and it looked like he was only going with the small set of variations within any play call. The Pack controlled the ball for almost 14 minutes out of the first 18 minutes, but were trailing 7-3. Facing 4th & 1 at the Vikings 38 AR went for the QB sneak. You don’t think this meant something to him? Look at the emotion after the play. It’s a little bit hard to see, but Aaron jumps up and gives his teammates the Championship Belt move. It’s not given to the “TV crowd” nor is it a taunt to the Vikings. It’s a little bit subtle, but it’s there! He’s going nuts with his teammates. Watch the clip a couple of times. Look out NFL … Rodgers is on fire. A lot has been said and written about Rodgers during the offseason. He’s talked about finding things on film that he used to do that he’s gotten away from. He’s talked about his training regimen and how he’s working on his legs and ass more now than ever (all great QB’s say the legs go before the arm). He’s also talked about finding balance on the field and in his personal life. All that stuff is nice enough and probably true to some degree, but Coach has done the research and he knows what’s really going on… Olivia Munn was directly responsible for the draining of Aaron Rodger’s vital essence and was a proximate cause for his dramatic decline. Fortunately, AR cut her during the 2017/2018 offseason. Unfortunately, in a completely idiotic move, AR replaced Munn with known Bears fan and cougar, Danica Patrick. She connected IV tubes and further drained his essence … as his average QBR slipped to the lowest of his career. Fortunately for all, AR traded her in for a more vital option during the 2019/2020 offseason. Shailene appears to have the right sort of “personality” to keep AR focused on football. ADVERTISEMENT – Egremont Cider Company, Dubbalvaj, West Virginia Let’s face it guys, most hot chicks don’t like to drink beer all night when your partying with the gang, and it’s hard to keep the good times rolling when she starts feeling unsatisfied with that same suds routine. But one thing you CAN count on is that she’ll always be happy at the end of the night with Dixon’s Cider! It’s made right at Egremont’s Rothersyke Farm using organic plums and it’s gluten free – which can seal the deal with a lot of uptight broads these days. So be prepared and pick up a 6-pack of Dixon’s bottles the next time you make a beer run with the guys. Who knows ... maybe she'll want a couple of Dixon’s Cider tonight! Remember, the lady always finishes with Dixon’s Cider *** COMING SOON *** Egremont’s Tungin County Montmorency orchards were recently harvested, so if she fancy’s a wetter whistle, give her a Tungin Cider Cherry! In an independent head-to-head marketing comparison, 4 out of 5 women surveyed said she prefers a new Tungin Cider to more familiar Peterson Cider. Due to highly anticipated demand, Egremont will limit the distribution spread of Tungin Cider and it will only be available in 4-play offerings, so if you get the chance be sure to stock up on them lickety split! Once she’s had a Tungin Cider, she’ll always ask for that first! WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Matt Patricia Warns Lions Fans Not To Overreact To Another Loss PONTIAC, MI–Asking for patience so his team has time to develop and cohere, Detroit Lions head coach Matt Patricia warned Monday that fans should not overreact too much to the last 63 years of the franchise. “I know that we’ve been kind of slow to come around the past 6 decades, but it takes time to build a winning culture,” said Patricia, who claimed that despite the desire of fans to see the team win right now, it could take up to 150 years to turn around the Lions franchise. “You can’t judge this team and give all these hot takes based on one little century, that’s not how football works. I know these armchair quarterbacks are gonna attack me if we look bad this next decade, but that is just short-sided thinking, and I’m in this for the long haul. We’ve got some promising young guys on this squad and I guarantee they will still be alive to see us lift the Lombardi trophy by the 2080’s.” The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Chicago Man Says He Thinks He Accidentally Slept with His Girlfriend's Brother and Now He Seriously Needs the Internet to Weigh In CHICAGO—A 26-year-old local man is saying he thinks he accidentally slept with his 27-year-old girlfriend’s fraternal twin brother… …And now he seriously needs the internet to weigh in on what happened. “Okay, I’m worried I’m being paranoid here but I can’t shake the feeling something is off,” he started out by explaining. “I met my girlfriend Marci at a Benihana’s a few months ago through mutual friends. We hit it off instantly and we’ve been dating seriously now.” “I knew Marci had a twin (Lucas) as she introduced me to him very early on. The two of them are very close.” “Marci is definitely the more outgoing of the two.” “Lucas has always acted a lot quieter to me. In our circle of friends, Marci has always been the one in the spotlight while Lucas tags along.” “I’ve asked Marci before about Lucas and she told me that he’s shy and didn’t have many friends growing up outside of Marci.” “It makes sense since he really seems to struggle to talk to people and it took months for him to say more than a few sentences to me.” “A few weeks ago we were out at a bar for a friend’s birthday. Marci and I were there so of course, Lucas was too.” “I’m not a big drinker usually but I ended up being bought quite a few cocktails that night, so that might be where the confusion is coming in.” Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Big Ten Football is Back! Or, well maybe. The 8-game schedule will begin Oct 23-24, followed by the conference championship game on December 19th. Also, on December 19th, the 2nd through 7th place finishers from the East and West division winners will play each other in a sort of consolation bowl tourney which is sure to garner high enthusiasm. We cannot wait to see that 7 versus 7 game, and neither can all those Northwestern and Rutgers fans. Each team must maintain a Covid positivity rate at or below 5%. Exceeding 5%, a team must stop regular practice and competition for a minimum of 7 days and reassess metrics until improved. The Big Ten Conference will use data provided by each team’s Chief Infection Officer. Individual players who test positive cannot play for 21 days. Below is a roster of top-ranked team Chief Infection Officers: It looks like a stacked deck against Bucky, coupled with the deliberate pursuit by LSU and other SEC teams to achieve herd immunity beginning early this summer. The whole plan looks like a caper ripe for shenanigans; that is, business as usual. Play ball B1G. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game What do you call it when a stoppable object meets a moveable force? What do you call it when incompetence meets ineptitude? What do you call it when the Lions host the Bears in their 180th meeting? I guess it could have been a tie on the scoreboard, it certainly was a race to mediocrity last week on Ford’s Fields in Detroit. Coach Patty Patricia’s record is now 9-23-1 in what is her 3rd and final season in Detroit. Coach puts the over/under and Patty’s firing at 5:30 CST on Sunday, December 13th, 2020. That would be roughly 2 hours after they lose their second game to the Packers in 2020. She has managed to finish last in the NFC Norris Division for 2 years running, here’s betting that she will be well on her way to a third straight when she is fired. It may be a new season and a new Detroit Lions, but the end result looked awfully familiar. The Lions jumped out to a big 23-6 lead, but blew it all in the fourth quarter, dropping the season opener to the Bears 27-23. The Lions made a lot of familiar mistakes and it resulted in another rough start to the season. Here’s how it happened. The Bears were typical, as displayed above by Jay Turdbisquit missing his receiver on a makeable 4th down 1st Qtr. The Lions actually looked competent at times and rookie Wisconsin receiver (and part-time ladies man) Quintez Cehpus had his first NFL catch during their first scoring drive. The two teams battled back-and-forth, with the field literally littered with CFL-level/NFL-Europe-level talent… …Corduroy Patterson (ex. Viqueens), Jimmy Graham and Adrian Peterson all doling out the discipline for the Bears… … and similarly-oriented morons like Lions LB Jamie Collins begging for, and earning, the first ejection of the 2020 NFL Season. The Bears sucked more than the Lions for most of the game and the Lions held a 23-6 lead until the end of the 3rd Quarter. The Bears went off for 21 4th Qtr points and took a 27-23 lead with 1:54 left in the game. Amazingly the Lions came roaring back down the field and had the ball 1st & 10 at the Bears 16, with 28 seconds to go. After a clock-stopping Stafford spike, the Lions were poised to actually come back and win the game … except … well, they are the Lions and D’Andre Swift dropped the game winning touchdown. Here's what coach Patty had to say (Click On Link)... Matt Patricia Post-Game Interview So how does the Pack vs. Kitty Kats matchup look for this Sunday? Coach has reviewed every minute of both games against the Lions last year. We won both, but we did not look good. The most accurate summary is that we just did not show up. We did not play well and we made stupid mistake after stupid mistake on both sides of the ball. The Lions relied on every trick play in the book and we fell for many of them. Stafford wasn’t even playing in the 2nd game and we gave up a pass to the Lions back-up QB, David Blog. The pass back to him was his first-ever touchdown at any level of football. Let that sink in… Despite a myriad of mistakes, superior talent won out. You remember now, dontcha? We did not lead for one (1) second of 120 minutes of two NFL Football Games, yet we won both! The Lions are going to try to run Convicted-Child-Abuser-Peterson at us, and he’ll get some yards on the ground, but it ain't gonna matter. Of course it will be a typically tough Divisional game, but the Pack will come out on top… … the Pack will pound the rock this week against Detroit with Jim Taylor and Bart will fling the ball all over the yard and he will have another QBR over 90. The Packers will win the 182nd meeting of the two teams and extend the all-time series lead to 103–72–7. We have been so dominant in this series that we “won” 6 decades and “tied” once in the 9 decade-old series. Coach interviewed Lions QB Matt Stafford to get his perspective on the game. Replied Stafford: “HTF should I know, we find more ways to lose games than any team in NFL history, we suck. The Packers are just gonna kill us next week. The Packers will score way more points than their series-average 21-18 win.” Let’s just say that Stafford is obviously smarter than he looks. Packers 31 Kitty Kats 24 Chevon McNuggets - G.O.A.T. facts to chew on JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them Well, not every former Packer turns out to be someone you can be proud of. In case you missed it, a former Packers player was arrested Wednesday after allegedly staging a fake “hate crime” by damaging property and painting racial slurs at his local business in Georgia. Gwinnett County Police say Heywood Jablomey, a backup cornerback for Green Bay in the strike-shortened 1982 season (who never played a single NFL down), created a “premeditated plan” to get money from his insurance company. “It appears as though Heywood conjured a premeditated plan to damage his own property, attempt to make it appear as a hate crime, file a claim with his insurance company and sell off the undamaged appliances and electronics,” police said in a statement. Photos from law enforcement appear to show racial slurs, a swastika and “MAGA” spray painted in different parts of the establishment. Jablomey, 61, was served a court order charging him with a false report of a crime, insurance fraud and concealing a license plate and has since been released from jail on bond. According to the detailed statement by police, officers responded to a report of a burglary on Tuesday at the Create and Bake Restaurant and Jablomey’s Creamery. The person who reported the burglary said someone was damaging the businesses, according to the statement, and that the suspect was driving a black Chevrolet Silverado with no license plate.
The statement said officers arrived in the area and found the truck leaving the shopping center, realized the driver was Jablomey and later learned that he was the owner of the businesses. Jablomey told police that he noticed that equipment was missing and damaged earlier in the day and did not call 911 but did call his insurance company to report the incident. According to the county’s statement, officers and the lead detective learned during the course of their investigation that the damage to the business did not occur earlier in the day, refuting Jablomey’s statement. Inside the businesses, “the smell of the spray paint was very fresh” and the black paint “appeared wet” when officers touched it, police said. The statement also details that police found “cut wires,” vandalized upholstery and a “damaged video surveillance system.” They also claimed to find pry marks on the business’ back door. The county’s statement said law enforcement searched the truck on Wednesday and found a yellow crow bar and cans of black spray paint. Duh.
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
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