Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: we underestimate the Brits… It’s fair to say things didn’t start out so well with jolly ol’ England. What, with the tyrant King George III and all. But we kicked the Red Coats’ ass back across the pond and, after another brief scuffle in 1812, we became the best of friends. We even mourned with the Brits when the celebrated Queen of England, Elizabeth II passed earlier this year. Coach likes the Brits. They are tough sons of bitches. Geez, they held off Hitler’s Nazis by themselves (for the most part) for almost 3 years. Recall that England only had 47 million people back then, and the German territories had 87 million. What the Brits lacked in tanks and Percocet they made up for with guts and ingenuity. Coach won’t get into all the WWII details, but – long story short, the Brits won (with a little help from us and the Ruskies). Benny Hill and Monty Python. As a young lad Coach would stay up late to watch these classic rebroadcasts on PBS and L'dMAO. The Benny Hill Show was a series of live skits that more or less spent an hour objectifying women. No surprise, it was one of the most watched TV programs in British history. Monty Python episodes were uniquely hilarious, topped only by their classic feature length films like The Holy Grail and Life of Brian. If you haven’t seen these, or don’t find them funny, I do not want to meet you. Coach knows you readily recognize the Brits for their significant contributions to Rock ‘n Roll. You know the bands … Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, The Smiths, Sex Pistols, Queen, The Kinks, and of course, Herman’s Hermits. OK enough on that. Now let’s talk beer. Newcastle Brown Ale, Boddington’s Pub Ale, Old Speckled Hen, Harvey’s Imperial Extra Double Stout, Fuller’s ESB, and Coach’s personal favorite: Robinsons Trooper Ale. All made in England, and all delicious. Go get yourself some of these and you won’t regret it. Cheers! So, in summary, the Brits may have bad teeth and their chicks might be homely, but admire their stiff upper lip, enjoy their sense of humor, sip their delightful ales, crank Stairway to Heaven and Bob’s your uncle you’ll have a dench time … at least, in Coach’s humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Yes Jimmy, we won. Winning is good. 3-1 is better than 1-3. And you are what your record says you are … … but even Erin Rodgers said that this is not sustainable… …beating a 3rd String QB in OT? Yeah, winning is good, but as the greatest Coach of all-time said: “You are what your point-differential says you are”. It’s early in the Season, we’ll come around, yada, yada, yada. In a mind bogglingly confusing analysis of the NFL … The EspiN has us ranked as the #4 team. Really? While we all want to win our last game of the Season, we aint that good yet. So far, based on 4 games … we’ve outscored the opposition by 6 points, in total … Is this important? Does it matter? What does Coach mean by Point Differential? Well Jimmy, it means scoring more points than the other Team … and yes … scoring more points than the other guys is important. Let’s have a stroll down memory lane. 2019 – for the Season we were 100 Pts behind the Niners and they kicked our asses in the Playoffs – no surprise. 2020 – We were basically tied with the Buc’s and Saints for the Regular Season … and managed to pee away our chances at home (see Season ending summary). 2021? Yeah, we won 13 games … but we were well out of the money. The point is … that while Coach is convinced that we will be good by the end of this season … we are a lucky 3-1 and it don’t look very good doing it … 3-0 against shitty teams and 0-1 against mediocre teams … The summary of the game is that Rodgers sucked in the 1st Half, and then made it look like he had the sun in his eyes when catching a routine fly-ball. Rodgers had an 11.2 passer rating while completing 4-11 for 44 yds. and a pick-six late in the first half. It was 2nd second-career pick-six at Lambeau and it gave the Patriots the lead at the half. What was wrong with him? Bellycheckenvy… … yes, sorry guys, Erin has Bellycheckenvy. Rodgers did everything in his power to give the game to his biological father, William Bellycheck. After some post game slathery on the field, Erin followed up by wearing his best Bellycheck Monk cloak to the post game presser. Erin admitted that he "missed the throw so badly" on the pick-six that Patriots rookie cornerback Jack Jones actually had to come back to make the play. "If I had thrown the ball where I was supposed to, he probably picks it in stride," Rodgers said. Not that length always matters, but Erin has suffered George Costanza level shrinkage recently. According to official statistics, Rodgers’ completion length is last in the league at about 3 ½ * ... a mark that continues to shrink with each passing girlfriend. One would think that with Jameis Winston’s completion length at 9 *, Rodgers would man-up and rise to the challenge. (* Of course the measurement is in yards you fool! You got lost in inuendo, didn’t you?) So how did it get this way? Who did we struggle against? Starting QB, 2nd stringer Brian Hoyer was knocked out in the 1st Qtr.; “You can't be 2-2 losing to a third-string quarterback" Rodgers muttered uncharitably from the podium. Hoyer was replaced by rookie Patriots 3rd string QB, Francis Zappa. Give Coach Hoodie some credit, he drafted this kid out of Western Kentucky in the 4th Round of the 2022 Draft. The Zappa kid was running and passing all over the place and in the end had a 107.4 passer rating compared with Rodgers paltry 89.1. Hoodie gave Zappa a fairly simple offense and he played it largely mistake free, handing off regularly to Damien Harris and Rhamondre Stevenson. They combined to gain 152 yards on 32 carries, with 105 of those coming after contact. Even with little threat of the passing game, the backs continually gashed us on the ground. New England basically ran the classic UW Offense, only unlike the Badgers against Illinois, the New England version was successful against our pathetic run defense. Our passing D was pretty good, and we had a Pro Bowl performance by Defensive-End Rashan Gary. He had two stops in run defense, but that was nothing compared to what he did as a pass-rusher. He had three sacks — one knocking Brian Hoyer out of the game and another forcing a fumble that he recovered — and two more pressures on only 21 pass-rushing snaps. Late in the 4th Qtr. our D finally took control. New England failed to get a first down on any of its final three possessions, including the key one in overtime. With the Patriots taking over on the 49-yard line and needing just a field goal to win, the Packers got a three-and-out with two run stops and a pressured incomplete pass. "That was huge," LaFleur said. Yes Coach, thanks for the insight. The mediocre run defense caused us to slip back one spot to #7 in PPG allowed. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up ‘Let’s Clear Some Cap Space,’ Says Stone-Faced Bill Belichick Watching Players Dig Own Graves FOXBOROUGH, MA—Standing in the misting rain at a site adjacent to Gillette Stadium, a stone-faced New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick was heard to utter, “Let’s clear some cap space,” on Friday as he watched players dig their own graves. “This is always a difficult decision, but we’ve got to make some cuts and look to the future,” Belichick said while over a dozen dirt-covered Patriots veterans, including wide receiver Nelson Agholor, tight end Jonnu Smith, quarterback Brian Hoyer, and guard Shaq Mason as they stood waist-deep in holes they’d been digging for hours. “This is what’s best for the team. We’ve got to get younger, and that means freeing up some roster spots. We don’t have room for all of you—c’mon, Kendrick [Bourne], keep digging!—and so your time here must come to an end. We thank you for your hard work as a member of the Patriots family, and we wish you the best of luck down there.” At press time, a satisfied Belichick had reportedly returned to the bowels of Gillette Stadium, where he began asking several high-profile Patriots chained to a radiator what it was going to take to get them to return on team-friendly contracts. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Andy Reid Slams Soldiers Fields Eating Conditions KANSAS CITY—When asked if starters should play during the preseason, Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid on Thursday pointed to his team’s preseason matchup with the Chicago Bears and specifically criticized Soldiers Fields eating conditions. “It is absolutely inexcusable to have to play in a stadium with such low standards for burgers and pizza,” said Reid during a press conference, adding that Soldiers Fields had been for years one of the worst stadiums to eat a bucket of nachos during halftime. “Frankly, it’s dangerous—I was trying to get an Italian beef sandwich, but the concession stand was so far away that I nearly pulled a muscle walking there. The eating conditions there have always been terrible, but this year it almost got to the point where I would’ve rather forfeited the game than force my guys to go out there and play the second half while I was still so hungry. They were out of a bunch of items, and the beer guy kept ignoring me. It’s a disgrace.” Reid stated that he had no choice but to file a formal complaint with the NFL over Soldiers Fields inferior pretzels and disturbing lack of barbecue options. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground The Paul Chryst Era—A reflection Here are the highlights: 1. 2017 Orange Bowl victory over the punks from Miami. “Turnover chain, my F’ing Axx” were the words read from the lips of Paul Chryst late in the game on the sidelines. Alex Hornibrook played lights out and Jonathan Taylor carved up the much-hyped Hurricaine defense. Though we ended the season 13-1, a late collapse vs. Ohio State in the Big Ten Championship game cost us a trip to the playoffs. 2. Beating #5 LSU at Lambeau (2016). Unranked Wisconsin avenged the 2014 defeat in Houston, resulting from Gary Anderson refusing to run Melvin Gordon during the second half, triggering a 17-point LSU rally. This win legitimized the Paul Chryst program and was accomplished after Melvin Gordon had moved on and with Bart Houston at QB. Not even the unexpected Packers’ release of Josh Sitton during the game could kill the buzz from this one. 3. Crushing #11 Michigan at home (2019) and Michigan on the road (2020), and prevailing 24-10 at home (2017). The Badgers built a 28-0 lead on Michigan in the 2019 game before a national TV audience, with a 312-96 yardage advantage in the first half, then led 35-0 with 5:13 left in the third quarter. Michigan came into the game ranked No. 11, with Wisconsin at No. 13 in the AP poll. 4. Bowl victories. Chryst teams went 6-1 in bowl games, with the next-most notable win coming against Western Michigan in the Cotton Bowl. Though a lesser bowl, the Joel Stave-led team beat USC in the 2015 Holiday Bowl in San Diego. Most agonizing was turning over the ball to Oregon late as we were going for a two-score lead vs. Oregon in the 2020 Rose Bowl. 5. Rallying to beat Purdue 47-44 in 2018. The Badgers were sliding after three losses in the previous five games, then found themselves on the ropes. Jonathan Taylor racked up 321 yards on 33 rushes. Danny Davis also caught two touchdowns, including a one-handed catch in sloppy conditions. 6. Beating PJ Fleck & his cult followers 38-17 at their place (2019). Jonathan Taylor, Jack Coan & Quintez Cephus brought the axe back to Madison, following a bitter defeat the year earlier. The Paul Chryst Era—This Was the End Maybe Jonathan Taylor covered up other deficiencies that were the seeds for decline. Maybe Graham Mertz is a coach killer. Maybe there was too much turnover on the defense and among the assistant coaches during the offseason. We had been through down periods before during Chryst’s tenure, only to bounce back. We lost 3 in a row before beating Purdue in 2018 and bounced back the following year to narrowly miss the playoffs. Following the no-show in Columbus, this team was in trouble going into the IL game last Saturday. Even the ESPN Gameday panel were all picking Illinois, talking about UW in “used to be“ terms. The final tally of 16 carries for 21 yards says it all. Braelon Allen running for all of 8 yards? A year ago--not 10 years ago or 20 years ago--but just a year ago, the Badgers had 61 rushes for 391-yds vs. Illinois. What happened to that offense and team? The Badgers trailed 14-10 at half. Players said Chryst invoked his inner Barack Obama, telling them it was time to draw a line in the effing sand. Illinois took second-half kickoff + drove 75 yards for a TD, Guerendo fumbled the kickoff and Illini added a FG. 67-26 record or not, it was time. On to the Jimmy Leonhard internship and hopefully the Jimmy Leonhard era. We are 10-point favorites vs. a terrible Northwestern team. Don’t F it up. Culling lesser scapegoats from the herd here on out will have diminishing returns. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game With the win last week, we now have 250 wins at Lambeau, most in any one stadium in the NFL and we are now tied the Bears at 785 wins all-time. Ironically, this weeks’ opponent is 3rd on the list. We’ve played the Giants 62 times, leading them by 6 wins and about 2 points/game. And … London is a home game … ergo advantage Pack!! Last offseason the G-Men blew away the Front Office and the Coaching staff. It turns out the new Coach, Brian Michael Daboll, is a Canadian! An alien for crying out loud! Coach knew we should have completed that wall. In a little-known part of his history, Brian Daboll was involved by his father in a plot for Canada to invade the U.S. Fortunately, Niagara Falls Sheriff Bud B. Boomer took matters into his own hands and was able to thwart the plot. Young Brian Daboll was released to the custody of his mother as he was a minor and could not be held responsible for his actions. In a bizarre scene at the court room for Brian’s trial, Brian’s mother repeatedly denied ever having met Sheriff Boomer. Given the proximity of Bud to Daboll’s family, there was constant speculation about Brian’s resemblance to “Sheriff Bud”, as Mrs. Daboll used to call him. Of course, every crisis reveals heroes among us, and Bud Boomer was no exception. You can find his heroics captured in a Michael Moore documentary (seriously, “that Michael Moore” was the film maker). OK Jimmy, on to the game. First of all, Coach will be there! B of all, what do the stats tell us? Well, we’re almost tied on Off & Def for PPG with the NY Giants. Throw in some home field advantage and we have about a 2 ½ point advantage, basically the same as our historical win margin. In the Rodgers era we are 4-3 against the G-men … so all the way around we look pretty even. The Giants started 2-0 for the first time since the 2016 season, and the schedule not been very tough so far … kinda like our schedule ... The Giants QB, Daniel Jones has been playing better this year under Daboll. He’s gone an injured ankle, but he did practice this week, so he’ll likely play on Sunday. Expect Rashan Gary to put Daniel Jones back on the bench this weekend. After Rashan Jones puts Daniel Jones out of the game, expect the Giants to lean even more heavily on Saquon Barkley. Barkley is leading the NFL in rushing-yardage, but he is well behind Aaron Jones in yards/carry. Despite Barkley getting back to form, Rodgers is still the best player in this game and the rushing duo of Jones and RB A.J. Dillon also more than make up what Barkley does for the Giants. Interestingly both the Pack and the Giants have very poor run defense. The Pack is at #22 giving up 5.0 yds/carry and the Giants are at #27 giving up 5.1 yds/carry. Everything points to this game being very close. If this game was not in London, it would be a simple choice to predict a Packers win. But with this being the first time the Packers have ever played overseas; it is difficult to know how they will manage the travel. Some teams manage it better than others. Coach predicts that this one will come down to Special Teams play and maybe a turnover. Rudy Ford has been nothing but spectacular on punt coverage this year, forcing fair catches on just about every punt. This game will be no exception. The Packers D and Special Teams will again be the difference as the Offense continues to play Preseason Ball and is trying to figure itself out! Coach is there now to see this foreign exhibition of American Football at Tottenham Stadium! Lots of Packers fans representing as I type this in the pub… Packers 24 G-Men 17 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them What would a Green Bay visit to London be without recalling the story of a local boy who, after starring as a back for the Green Bay Packers, visited over there and by a twist of fate saved millions of lives. Myrton Basing grew up in Appleton and went to Lawrence University before playing for the Packers. He started 28 of his 41 games taking handoffs and catching passes from Curl Lambeau, which led to a career total of 9 TD’s. He retired from football a year before the Packers won their 1st NFL championship. After leaving football, Basing moved out to Colorado to run a hike and hunt outfitting camp. Myrton’s wife Mabel convinced him in 1940 to join her in visiting her extended family in England, having recently lost several male cousins fighting the Nazi’s in mainland Europe. During a long countryside hike along a rural stretch of the river Thames, Basing scratched his face on a rose bush. The seemingly harmless wound became infected, and the infection spread. Basing was subsequently transferred to the Radcliffe Infirmary when his infection became severe. On February 12 a young medical doctor named Charles Fletcher injected Basing with a top-secret concoction previously only tested on mice by Oxford Professor Howard Florey, with the intent to someday cure soldiers of bacterial infections resulting from battlefield wounds. This nicknamed “miracle mold” was later smuggled to the USA for mass production after it was fine-tuned by Fletcher for use on humans. Today we call it “penicillin.” As for Myrt Basing, he was injected regularly over four days with the first ever human-sized dose of penicillin , and within 24 hours he was greatly improved. But even though his medical team went as far as extracting the precious penicillin from his urine and re-injecting it, supplies ran out before his cure was complete. He relapsed at the beginning of March, and died a month later. Like leaving the Packers right before they won it all, Myrton Basing needed penicillin right before it was actually made good enough to work. He was at the forefront of football greatness, and at the vanguard of saving soldiers from infectious death (or at least painful venereal disease). For that, Myrt, we salute you!
1 Comment
David McHenry
10/8/2022 10:24:28 am
Hey Coach! Love the blog and great meeting you and your brother the other night at Belushi's!
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
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