Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show!!! In Coach’s Humble Opinion: It’s OK to admire Aaron Rodgers… I’m talking to you, Bears fans. Rodgers stating metaphorically that he owns you appears to have provoked your ire. Awe, that’s a shame. During my travels this week, Coach actually heard Chicago radio listeners call into their favorite sportstalk station on Monday to suggest Rodgers is classless, and then expressed their wish for Rodgers to get hurt and be out for several weeks. That’s like a piece of shit telling a rose that is smells unpleasant (in this simile, only the rose is a metaphor). In the 2018 season opener against the Bears at Lambeau (McCarthy’s last season), Bears fans (possibly including you) in the stands overtly celebrated the leg injury that Rodgers suffered with 9:18 left in the 2nd quarter as he was carted off into the tunnel, and proceeded to heckle Packers fans about it (as if Rodgers getting hurt was some sort of skill that Bears fans unleashed that night). No Packers fans were surprised by the classless actions of the Bears fans. …disappointed in them for sure, but unfortunately not surprised. As everyone knows, however, sweet justice came about in the 2nd half when Rodgers returned and rallied the Pack to a 24-23 victory and you loud mouths with C’s on your hats sheepishly slithered out of the stadium. If you had the ability to reflect honestly, you’d realize what Packers fans see written all over your faces: you’re just jealous you don’t have Rodgers and never will (he confirmed that publicly last week). So who DO Chicagoans admire then? Well, this year they ran poster-boy-for-decency, Kris Bryant, out of town (I’m being kind, he was begging to get out of Chicago). Rather, at the top of their hero pedestal sits the likes of cocky-boy Javier Baez, bat-flipping Tim Anderson, and mouth-running A. J. Pierzynski, to name a few. You'll recall Pierzynski’s White Sox manager famously said, “If you’re playing against our team you hate A.J., and if you’re playing with our team you hate him a little less.” Chicagoans shamelessly seem to find profound class in the on-the-field taunts, gestures, and cry-baby media whining sessions that all these punk athletes have repeatedly demonstrated. Frankly, you deserve each other. …at least, in Coach’s humble opinion. Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme Here’s the only important thing for you to know… Now that you are smarter than you were 3 seconds ago, head back out to the woods and finish baiting the deers trap. You want more on the game? Well, we fell asleep in the 1st Qtr and let Rookie QB Jesse Field score a TD, then we woke up, scored 17 points and the game was over. You already know that Coach loves his statistics, and frankly Coach is a bit disappointed in the lack of blowouts … but a 10-point win over the Bears at the Eyesore-on-the-Lakeshore is “rio nice.” Especially when we rushed for 31 times for 154 yards against the #10 Rushing Defense. AJ Dillion averaged better than 5 ½ yards/carry and is clearly becoming the RB we thought he would be. Rodgers had a Passer Rating of 128 on only 23 attempts. Let that sink in … we ran 31 times and only passed 23 times … and we controlled the ball for over 32 minutes. The Defense has been frustrating all year, but it is showing signs of improvement. After giving up 38 to NOLA in the opener, we are now the 13th best Scoring Defense (22.7 pts/gm) … and… we are the 5th best Scoring Defense over the last 3 games (17.7 pts/gm) Offense is great. Super. Pretty. But Defense wins in January. Down 24-14 with 2:26 left in the game, the Bears made it to the Packers 32-yard-line and were threatening. Kenny Clark ended the game by sacking Jesse Field twice and the Bears ended the game on an incompletion on 4th & 26 from the Packers 48. Sweet! Special Teams also had some highlights! Mason Crosby was 4-for-4 kicking (3 XP’s & 1 FG), time to get going on another streak. And Borky? Aye-yi-yi Borky had another great game punting, highlighted by this 82-yarder that flipped the field from our 18 and left the Bears starting from their 20. Let’s hope he can keep this up when the gales of November come early. Yup, Coach is starting to believe in this Team… …overcoming a ton of key injuries and our Erin even broke out the 2010 Championship Belt. Yes, to repeat, kids … he is a petulant-self-absorbed-sphincter, but he’s our petulant-self-absorbed-sphincter … and we’re riding this train to the Ship. You want more proof? There is no better sight than seeing Field, the Rookie QB, automatically assuming the Jay-Cutler-NFC-Championship-Position! Jim McMahon was prescient when he said the Bears are where QB’s go to die. Welcome Jesse Field. Are the Packers perfect? Hell no! All the Stats put us in the middle of the NFL pack. 15th in Points Scored 13th in Points Allowed (and an abysmal record 15 for 15 TD’s allowed in the Red Zone) 13th in Point Differential If not improved, this portends bad news in the gauntlet of good teams coming soon. Let’s have a look at some of what the problems are. O-Line Coach Steno has been a magician, but he has had to deal with up to 4 rookies or first year players at a time and it is by no means a perfect group. Rookie RG (#70) Royce Newman has played really when on running plays, but has struggled at times with pass blocking. Newman gave up two sacks against the Bears, both times when he missed a blocking hand-off when the D-Line stunted. D-Backs You may recall that when we traded Josh Jackson to the Giants for Isaac Yiadam the reports were that he was just like Jackson: a liability in coverage and an adequate Special Teamer. Yiadam proved the reports correct. He was immediately benched after this Def PI and his replacement, Rasul Douglas, played pretty well the rest of the game. Douglas was signed by Gutey from Arizona Cardinals' practice squad only 11 days earlier. And Special Teams Coverage? WTF? What Coverage? Kick-off coverage has been terrible this year and now let’s add punt coverage to the list. Thank goodness for the block-in-the-back penalty … this was at the end of a fantastic Borky 50-yard punt that would have been real trouble for us if it wasn’t called back. OK, moving on… WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Jags Rookie Coach Still Adjusting To Speed Of NFL Cover-Ups JACKSONVILLE, FL—Apologizing to Jaguars fans for his early failures in leading the team, Jacksonville coach Urban Liar admitted to reporters Tuesday that he is still adjusting to the speed of NFL cover-ups. “At the college level, these scandals take a lot longer to develop, and I’ll admit I just haven’t done the work to adjust my press strategy from Ohio State,” said Liar, who explained that he was often able to shut down a damaging story or sweep a player’s transgressions under the rug with a single phone call while running a college program. “The NFL media ecosystem is just more complex than college, so I can’t run with the same simple denials I used in the past. I’m dealing with grown adults now, and lots of people have their own ideas that I can’t just override by throwing them off the team or threatening to take away a scholarship. Jaguars fans deserve a better level of cover-up than I’ve been providing, and I’m committed to learning and getting better.” At press time, Liar had hired a former assistant from the Steelers so he could learn how they managed to sweep everything Ben Roethlisberger has done under the rug. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Chicago Championship For Women’s Team Counts CHICAGO—Following the Bears humiliating loss to the Green Bay Packers at Soldiers Field on Sunday, Mayor Lori “Beetlejuice” Lightfoot proclaimed that the WNBA championship granted to the Chicago Sky (nice name) that same day will now count as a thing. “We can’t expect the Bears to ever be competitive, so we’ll take anything we can get – even if it means having to first explain to the people here that we have a women’s basketball team.” When reminded that no mention was made of the Chicago women’s team playing in the WNBA Championship game during the Bears home game NFL broadcast, the mayor was quick to belt out a hardy “Congratulations to the Sky!” at her regular Monday morning press conference to confirm the number of murders in Chicago over the weekend (only 4 of the 24 people shot actually died, so that’s … uh, good?). Then when one reporter asked if a ticker-tape parade for the Sky through the downtown area would be administered by the city, the mayor quickly chided “Oh, hell no.” “The next time I watch a WNBA game ... will be the first time I watch a WNBA game.” - Norm McDonald (RIP) Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground Bucky Favored for 8th Consecutive Week, Badger Underground Raises Eyebrows Bucky and BU were looking at this game as an automatic win. Now, those darn engineers beat #2 Iowa. Yes, Iowa is still #2 in our book, but only in the excrement sense. But, needless to say, Bucky needs to pay attention. With the Badgers favored by 3.5 points at Purdue this Saturday, it appears Vegas has confused Badgers football with Badgers women’s volleyball. Favored versus Ped State, favored versus Notre Dame, and couldn’t cover the spread vs. Army. Thanks to Purdue’s beat-down of the second-ranked Fraudeyes in Iowa City, the Big Ten West division is now wide open. Iowa rose in the rankings after rallying from a 17-7 deficit the week before vs. Ped State to win after the Nits’ QB was knocked out of the game. Purdue went into the Iowa game on the heels of defeat at the hands of cult leader P.J. Fleck’s Goophs and an underwhelming 13-9 win vs. Illinois the week before. Purdue averages 45 passes per game and receiver David Bell shredded a supposedly good Iowa defense for 11 catches and 240 yards. They have three quarterbacks putting up better numbers than Graham Mertz. Nobody is going to run on Wisconsin, but Wisconsin has not faced a passing attack like this. This is a game where Wisconsin gets exposed for not having an edge pass rush threat since the graduation of Zack Baun. There is plenty of tape to show opponents that they should go at Scott Nelson early and often. This would be a good week to actually catch would-be interceptions that hit Badgers defenders in the hands. Hopefully they fare better against Purdue’s gadget plays than they did vs. Michigan’s flea-flicker. Offensively, Wisconsin has displayed zero improvement in pass protection. Out of 129 teams in all of college football, they're 115th in points per game, 100th in yards per play, 123rd in turnovers. Mertz rarely has time to look past his primary receiver as the pocket regularly disintegrates around him. Circle the name George Karlaftis. He is a disrupter who is going to eat Badgers tackles alive. Smart teams have run away from him and chipped him with TE’s. Purdue also has a very good safety tandem. Not a good week for Mertz to be forcing the ball through a keyhole in the middle of the field to receivers who can’t get separation. Look for the Badgers to attempt to run the ball even more than usual. Playing from behind is a position that Wisconsin does not want to find itself in. So, what happens Saturday? Yes, we are surprised at the 3.5 point away advantage. And yes, we will blow that away. Bucky will defy the odds and play a turnover-free game on offense, rushing for 280 yards. Leo Chenal spends the afternoon in the Purdue backfield blowing up Jeff Brohm’s (former Packers QB) playbook. We win the turnover margin and prevail on Kyle Orton Appreciation Day, 31-10, making it 15 wins in a row over Purdue. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game Coach, who are we playing this week? Honestly Jimmy, I’m not really sure, but they are a storied franchise and the Packers are 21-16-1 against them all time. We know that that they have had many Hall-of-Fame players over the years, like Long-Snapper Alonzo Flowers. We know that they are in 2nd place in the NFC Least Division and that they have beaten the Giants and the Falcons by a combined 5 points. We know that their owner, Daniel Snyder has been “suspended” by the NFL and the Team is being “run” by his wife. We also know that he is at the heart of the NFL investigation that reviewed 650 trillion e-mails and only found “bad ones” associated with Chucky. We know that they are QB’d by a kid who grew up idolizing Brett Favre and he tries to play like him. Heinicke, like former Wesley College and Packers QB Joe Callahan, is a fan favorite! We also know that he is not a good QB. (He got the nod when start Ryan Fitzpatrick broke his hip, kinda like Coach’s mother-in-law.) We know that they have the: #21 Scoring Offense #32 Scoring Defense We know the line is 9.5 points and the net margin advantage for the Packers 11.6 points. We know that Head Coach Ron Rivera was a stud OLB with the ’85 Bears, and that he is a mediocre Head Coach (85-76-1). Unrelated, Hispanic Heritage Month just ended its bizarre calendar stint, Sep 15, 2021 - Oct 15, 2021. We know that true fans of the Team have been disappearing. Between gross mismanagement of the Team, unending Snyder-Scandals and team moniker confusion, the average Washington Fan is left to feel like they are victims of identity theft. What we don’t know is “what will the new name be for the once proud Washington Redskins?” That set Coach on a mission to find out what the folks in D.C. are thinking … and which options they are considering. Option 1: Washington FC OK, this might work if they join the English Premier League. Option 2: The Deadskins Hmmm, Coach understands the sentiment, but not very motivational. Also, this is what Ravens fans call them. Option 3: The Washington Thinskins Ok, now we’re getting somewhere. Option 4: The Washington Foreskins Can you think of a better team name for a city that has the 536 most senior elected officials in the country? Option 5: Washington Team Football Obviously the one that will be selected because no one will be offended. Voting for your preferred option starts today! Simply write “I prefer Option _X_” on the back of a $100 bill and mail it to: Coach’s Option Voting 1004 Brett Favre Pass Green Bay, WI 54304 Why will we really win? We have a better team, a better roster and better Coaching. Roster management is critical to winning and Gutey is not resting. There were a couple of dozen roster moves made in October, but three were critical to bolster all the injuries on Defense. Selected October Roster Moves 10/21 LB Whitney Mercilus signed will have no mercy at all for the Skins. Why is he here? Zed's dead, baby, Zed's dead. 10/07 LB Jaylon Smith signed; played against the Bears (and was pretty much lost), hopefully he’ll be better oriented this week. Why is he here? Gutey must have at least line backer named Smith on the active roster at all times. 10/06 CB Rasul Douglas signed from Arizona Cardinals' practice squad, he played a lot and played well in the Bears game. Why is he here? Well, besides keeping Kevin King on the bench, he knows a thing or two about our upcoming opponent, the undefeated Arizona Redbirds. Ya know what Coach is tinkin’? We aint hadda blow out yet, en we’re gonna have our first one of the year this weekend! Better break open the kids’ piggy banks and bet all ya got. Packers 31 Skins 13 JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them The Washington Redskins organization came into the NFL in 1932, but were then known by a much less offensive name, the Boston Braves. That year the Pack went 10-3-1* overall (the year after they won their 3rd consecutive NFL Championship), were undefeated at home, and pummeled the NFL expansion team in Boston on November 13 by a score of 21-0 in front of 16,500 fans. It’s famously rumored that current Buccaneers QB Tom Brady had snuck into the bleachers that day to watch the game with some grammar school friends. He no doubt wanted to get a glimpse of the Packers’ rookie sensation, Clarke Hinkle. [* - By today’s standards, the Packers actually would have won a 4th consecutive NFL Championship based on wins. In 1932, however, there were no playoff games and ties were more common, so even though the Packers had more wins than any other NFL team that year the Bears were “granted” the NFL title with a record of 6-1-6. Complete bullshit, right? Well, it’s no coincidence that the Bears funded a lot of NFL executives’ salaries at that time, and the Packers were near broke with a looming lawsuit from a drunk, syphilis-stricken fan who fell out of their stands that year and broke his coccyx, so you do the math.] A native of Toronto, Ohio, Hinkle played college football for Bucknell from 1929 to 1931. He scored 50 points in a single game as a sophomore and led Bucknell to an undefeated season in 1931. When Curly Lambeau later inked him to an NFL contract, Hinkle said “I wanted to play so badly that I would have signed for nothing.” As a Packer, Hinkle presented a rare combination of power, speed, and accurate kicking. He played on offense as a fullback, defense as a linebacker, and special teams as the place kicker and punter (widely regarded as the best punter in the NFL at the time). He was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame as part of its second class of inductees in 1964. Known as one of the toughest players in the era of iron man football, Hinkle held the all-time NFL records for rushing yardage and carries when his playing career ended. He led the NFL in touchdowns (7) in 1937, in points scored (58) in 1938, and in field goals made and field goal percentage in both 1940 and 1941. He was selected as a first- or second-team All-Pro in each of his 10 NFL seasons and helped lead the Packers to 2 (really should be 3) NFL championships in 1936 and 1939 (and 1932). Hinkle's competition with Chicago Bears legend Bronko Nagurski was especially memorable. Hinkle was the only player to ever knock Nagurski out of a game. Hinkle cited that 1934 collision with Nagurski as his greatest day in football. He recalled: "I was carrying the ball and Nagurski charged in to make the tackle. WHAM! We banged into each other. Nagurski had to be removed from the game with a broken nose and two closed eyes. Strangely enough, I suffered no ill effects and was able to continue playing." Nagurski later called Hinkle the "toughest man I ever played against." Hinkle’s toughness remained to the end. On November 2, 1941, in his final game against the Chicago Bears, Hinkle had his leg torn open by an opponent's spike but returned late in the game to kick a game-winning field goal from the 44-yard line. Coach cannot confirm nor deny reports that Hinkle shouted to fans “I’ve owned you all my life! I still own you!” when the pigskin spun end-over-end through the uprights as time expired.
Clarke Hinkle’s playing career was cut short in 1942 by the Japs (military service). He was honorably discharged from the Coast Guard in 1946 and began working for the Kimberly-Clark paper company in Neenah, Wisconsin. He eventually moved to and later died in Steubenville, Ohio in 1988 at age 79 following a long illness. If you go to watch Packers training camp, their 2 outdoor practice facilities are Ray Nitschke Field (east of the Don Hutson Center), and Clarke Hinkle field on the west side (right on Oneida Avenue). A fitting tribute. So this week we posthumously salute you, Clarke Hinkle, as an all-time Packers great!
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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