Welcome back to The Coach Clarahanson Show !!! Before we get started, congratulations go to this week’s contest winner, Cam Elto from Stratford, who correctly selected Ellie Golden as the most disappointing Butter Face. Honorable mention selections for Great Body, But Her Face Is Not included Kim McGuire and Brooke Hogan. For his entry, Cam wins 2 unopened bottles and 1 partially opened bottle of Special Golden Estrus doe-in-heat scent from 2013 that Coach found in his garage on a shelf behind his outboard motor flusher last weekend. Good on you, Cam, and good luck in the bush. In Coach’s Humble Opinion: …the Packers have pretty much become the Badgers. Every few years we think THIS is the year the Badgers are going to be National Champs. And then they fall on their face. We get excited by the pre-season hype (i.e., a top ten ranking), and our delusions of grandeur build during the first few games when they pummel the Wofford’s and Middle Tennessee State’s of the college world by handing the ball off to the likes of Jonathan Taylor, Melvin Gordon, Montee Ball, James White, Anthony Davis and Ron Dayne. …But then every one of these guys gets stuffed by tOSU or any SEC team. And that brings us to the Gootey LaFleur led Packers of today… When it comes to playing the big boys, the Packers fall short. Yeah, yeah, 13-3 last year, 5-1 this year, but you have to admit the schedule has been kind the last 2 years. Rodgers and Co. do an impressive job beating up on The Sisters of The Poor, but when it comes to teams that have a strong defense and a solid run game, they get their asses handed to them. Just a fact. If they wanna change Coach’s mind, they are going to have to dominate the division (a fairly weak one at that), plus go into California and beat the 49ers. I can even live with a split against the Bears (ha ha, just kidding) or a loss to the Titans, but we can’t let the Niners have our number any longer if we intend to hoist St. Vincent’s trophy in February …at least, in my humble opinion. ADVERTISEMENT Create A Seam Here – X’s & O’s about the game or a scheme I guess you, the loyal reader, has known for some time that Coach has better vision into the future than Jeane Dixon, Nostradamus or Punxsutawney Phil. Proving it yet again… The “bounce back” game was just that. The Pack coasted to an easy victory in Houston on Sunday. Rodgers had one of his worst career games vs. the Bucs last week, but wasn’t intercepted this week and had four TD throws. Rodgers joined Brady (60), Brees (54) and P. Manning (51) as the fourth QB in NFL history with 50 career games of at least three touchdown passes and zero interceptions. The big win was all the more impressive because it came with six key players inactive due to injury: RB Aaron Jones, LT David Bakhtiari, S Darnell Savage, CB Kevin King, RB Tyler Ervin and DL Tyler Lancaster (QB Jordan was the only healthy inactive). Coach digresses here to mention that the Texans obviously did not get the memo on Davante Adams. He caught 13 for 196 yards and 2 TD’s and was rarely double teamed. This play by Adams was not only typical of the day but hilarious! Much like he’s been doing all year, LaFleur called a good game against inferior talent. The play below is the 2nd Packers TD, a pass to Sternberger early in the 2nd Qtr. The formation had been used a couple of times earlier:
…and he’s wide open…. OK, are the Packers real? Davey Downer points out that we have only beaten losing teams and one 0.500 team… …but as “they” say, you can only play the teams on your schedule. (Who is “they” anyway?) What’s frustrating about the Texans game is that we attempted to punt 5 times!! The Texans were led by JJ Watt and playing hard, but we beat ourselves. Coach honestly thinks we should have had 49 points, not a measly 35. The week before the Buc’s beat us with good ole fashioned Defense. They took away Aaron Jones and then keyed on Davante Adams, causing both AR and LaFleur to panic. This week we got back on-track with the Offense against a bad Defense. Next week we’ll get a chance to prove we are back against a real Defense; we play the Niners next Thursday. {Ok, but let’s not overlook the Viqueens first.} OK kids, let’s be clear. The only goal in Green Bay is to win the Super Bowl. It doesn’t matter how many participation trophies Murphy wants to hand out, it’s a losing season if we don’t get a Lombardi. Let’s say for the sake of discussion that the Offense is good enough to win a Super Bowl, are we good enough on Special Teams and Defense to win the Super Bowl? Special Teams against Houston: We had no FG attempts, Crosby made all of his Extra Point attempts and he all 6 of his Kickoffs through the endzone, so no news there is good news. (Crosby is 9 of 9 on FG and 22 of 23 on XP so far in 2020.) Swerve (Tyler Ervin) was injured and his replacement, Darrius Sheperd, had a 6-yd punt return (that’s 9 more yards than his total last season) and two kickoff returns, one out past the 25, let’s give the return game a C+/B- Our punting was mixed. On the positive side, JK Scott averaged 52 yards on the 4 punts that weren’t blocked. But we did get one blocked and on two others he out-kicked the coverage, breaking the 8th Commandment of Football. 8th Commandment of Football – Thou shalt not outkick thine coverage, lest it yield poor field position. In this particular case we got lucky that the punt wasn’t blocked, and that Houston had a penalty on the return. More importantly, what is the “check” to switch to a fake punt? When the gunner “hold-up” guys moved in for the potential block, most teams will check to a short-pass to the gunner, who will be wide open. Just saying, rather than a booming, over-kicked, punt, we cudda hadda 1st Down. Fire Menenga? The Texans got the ball at the Packers 22 and were held to a FG, so the damage was limited (more farther below). So how the hell did this happen? With Aaron Jones inactive, Dexter Williams was brought up from the PS and given the “up-man” job on the punt team. And what do we know now Johnny? Now we know why Dexter Williams was cut after camp. The mess got worse on the play as gunner Ka’dar Holman ripped the helmet off his cover guy. It’s amazing we only gave up 3 after a DFU play like that (doubly...F’d). Punt Team Grade: C- Overall Grade for Special Teams: B- Good enough to not lose the Super Bowl Not good enough to win the Super Bowl (No Desmond Howards here) Whadda’bout the D? Coach has been harping on the D since 2011 and he doesn’t see that changing any time soon. But there were definitely positive signs in the Texan’s game! The whole of the 2020 Season, the good and the bad, can be seen in two plays… ...the scene: 7:12 in the 2nd Qtr, Houston ball, 1st & 10 on their own 2-yd line, after the best punt of the day pinned them there. 1st & 10 @ the 2-yd line – A Lowry Sighting!! Dean Lowry (94) stayed low (sort of), pushed his man back and had a TFL down on the goal line! If Lowry can actually start to play again, we might have a chance. Aaarggh … just when we have a chance to take-over the game and crush their spirit… …as good as UDFA Krys Barnes has been, on 2nd Down he got schooled by Randall Cobb (man I wish we had Randall back … well, Houston ARE sellers at this point – just sayin). So just like that, we urinated away a great play on 1st down by making a coverage mistake on 2nd down. After this play, Cobb went on to have several catches on this drive as Houston went the length of the field and kicked another FG. For the year we have had many similar situations, a great Defensive play followed by a bone-headed play, but against Houston we snuffed out 8 of their 12 drives, the best mark of 2020 so far:
Let’s take a walk down positivity lane for the Defense! The following plays are intended to illustrate the points made and are not all in chronological sequence. On Houston’s 1st drive we had them at 3rd & 1; a situation where you could almost guarantee that the opposition would make a 1st down in all of our previous games. Look at this play! We’re in a 3-3 Nickle (3 DL), all of the DL get a positive push and both Preston Smith (ROLB) and Z’Darius Smith (LOLB) actually play straight-up contain (instead of cheating inside, which Z has been doing on almost every play all year). All of the correct line play allows Josh Jackson to come up and make a tackle for loss (TFL). Alright dammit, we actually got a stop on 3rd & 1! OK, another situation from a different drive: 2nd & 9, a likely passing situation. We’re in a 2-4 Nickel, with “Z” at LOLB and “P” at ROLB. Unlike previous weeks, “Z” bull rushes to the outside and does not slip inside for the easy path to the QB. Because there is no lane to the outside, Deshaun Watson tries to escape up the middle and Z collapses-in to finish off the sack. Houston went the length of the field on their opening drive of the 3rd Qtr and there were plenty of mistakes by our D! (The drive ended in a TD.) But in a real ray of sunshine, on 1st & Goal at the 2, all of the DL stayed in their gaps and (sort-of) stayed low. Kingsley Keke got the biggest push and this allowed Kamal Martin (#54) to shoot the gap and make the tackle in the backfield. Rookie, 5th Rnd pick, ILB, Kamal Martin was a star in training camp but hurt his knee. After beginning the year on IR, the Texans game was his first in the NFL and he did great: 6 tackles including the TFL above. After the blocked Packers punt, Houston gained 5-yds on 1st down and were at 2nd & 5 on the Packers 17. Z Smith (#55) was at LOLB and Montravious Adams (#90) at LDE. Planned or not, Z loops inside and Montravious slides outside to the left. As the play breaks down he faces-up Desahuan Watson who has to throw the ball away. This play was key to holding the Texans to only 11 yards on 7 plays after the blocked punt. Montravious: the 3rd Rnd pick a couple of years ago that has never panned out. Is he finally getting it? Is he over his injuries? Let’s hope so, he came to the Packers highly touted and we really need good DL play to accompany Clark. Holy cow, the Rookies are everywhere! On 3rd & Goal at the 8, with the Packers up 28-10, the Texans were threatening to make it a two-score-game. A quick dumpoff to Duke Johnson in the flat went nowhere! This TFL by Vernon Scott was key in holding the Texans to a FG on this drive. Vernon Scott was the Packers first pick in the 7th Rnd of the 2020 Draft (#236 overall) and has played sporadically in 4 of the 6 games so far. This next play is Coach’s favorite of the entire game. Since the 2012 NFC Divisional Round Playoff Game in SF, when Colin Kaepernik ran wild for 181 yards, mainly on read-option plays, Coach has been going crazy because we never defend it. The Defensive concept is very, very simple. One player on each side always has QB run responsibility (usually a DE or OLB, sometimes a CB). This is a beautiful, beautiful play! Preston Smith calmly steps over the line of scrimmage and just waits for Deshaun Watson to run into him! He has gotten a lot of bad press this year because he hasn’t had the flashy sacks. Coach observes he’s dropped back in coverage a lot, but when he’s on the line he’s been doing his job. When all 11 do their job plays like this will happen regularly. Welcome Henry Black! (Who the hell is Henry Black?). Henry was a 2020 Undrafted Free Agent (UDFA) out of Baylor. Black was cut after training camp and signed to the Packers’ Practice Squad when the Season began. Henry was signed to the active roster on October 25th, the morning of the game with Houston! Lucky? Good? Coach doesn’t know and doesn’t care. For a UDFA literally only a few hours into his first stint on the Packers’ roster, he did pretty damn good! Overall, we did pretty decent on Defense. Probably the most important point is that not only are we playing better, we are also building depth. With several starters out, we had guys making contributions that were nowhere near making the Roster after final training camp cuts. We still have a lot to correct and must continue to eliminate the numerous mistakes, but we made a big stride this week. It looks like we have enough talent, we just need to get it coached-up. Good enough D to win a Super Bowl? Not right now, but it looks like we just might have the pieces to become a Top-10 D – which is good enough. WTF – Coach’s take on football news that’s messed up Tampa Bay Buccaneers Thrilled To Be Playing In Front Of Such A Large Crowd St. Petersburg, FL—On the morning of their battle against the undefeated Green Bay Packers, a consistent theme had emerged from the Tampa Bay locker room: sheer excitement to be playing in front of such a large crowd at their home stadium. While many observers were concerned that the socially distanced crowd of almost 7,000 fans would feel small and awkward, Tampa Bay players have suggested the opposite; that such a vast gathering of people created a high pressure, tense environment which they were able to feed off of. “I’ve been with the Bucs for 6 years, so a stadium this packed is definitely something new and exciting to experience,” offensive tackle Donovan Smith observed. “But that’s what big games are supposed to be like, right?” “Between the crowd noise and the masks, it’s been tough to communicate on the sideline,” added head coach Bruce Arians. Packers players seemed to be unfazed by the crowd size, with one anonymous player observing, “We have training camp practices with more people than this.” If the Tampa Bay football team continues their winning ways experts say that, theoretically, the Buccaneers could actually sell out a home playoff game, albeit highly unlikely and optimistic hyperbole. The Bears Still Suck – Coach has proof Matt Nagy Insists It’s Way Too Early To Think About Destroying Career Of Trevor Lawrence CHICAGO—Condemning radio hosts and fans who have seen the obvious chink in the Bears' armor and already started talking about the upcoming draft, Chicago Bears head coach Matt Nagy insisted Tuesday that it was way too early to think about how the team would destroy the career of top quarterback prospect Trevor Lawrence. “Look, I know people love to speculate, but my focus is on wasting the careers of the players in THIS locker room,” said Nagy, claiming that current quarterback Nick Foles is still a viable player with a lot of experience and talent to squander. “I’m not thinking about who is going to be throwing pick-sixes next year, I’m thinking about who’s going to be sacked six times next week. This is a long season, and I’m zeroed in on making sure Bobby [Massie] never develops into a Pro Bowl lineman. I don’t have time to talk about [Trevor] Lawrence, I’ve got a shitty game plan to put together.” At press time, Nagy added that if the Bears moved up in the draft like they did for Mitchell Trubisky, Lawrence might simply elect to retire from football anyway. Udder Stuff – Commentary from the Badger Underground MADISON, WI -The Badger Underground has found out that the UW English department has taken a step not taken in decades. It has allowed students to add a verb to the local campus official language to the extent that it can even be used on exams. This step follows in the recent entry into the national vernacular of the gerund, toobin’. We are of course talking about the mertzing of Illinois. This verb may take many forms as it developed, but the department listed this working definition: MERTZ – v. To make a debut start as quarterback and throw 5 TD passes with at least 20 completions and a greater than 95% completion percentage. In the future, this verb may be developed to apply in many ways such as:
The last time the department stepped in, it was also about a UW QB in the 90’s: SAMUEL – v. To get happy feet at the slightest sign of pressure and scamper for a -5 to +5 yard gain. So, on with our happy analysis. HOLY CRAP! Of course, everyone has read the gaudy reports of young Graham’s auspicious start. Here at BU, we have been calling for him to replace the dependable Jackie Coan since the first game last year at USF. We even deplored this in person from the Tampa stadium in person. However high our hopes were, we have been blown away from the performance on Friday. Our expectations were for Mertz to do a decent job and win with a few TD’s and a lot of dependence on the run game. He would have had some things to work on. So now, after this stellar performance, what TF can he do better? Sadly, we cannot expect numbers like this all the time, but we also cannot be happier about this start. As a team, what else looked great on Saturday?
What are things to improve?
NEWS ALERT: Enough happy talk. In the Badger fan buzz kill of the century, Mertz tested positive to Covid and will be out for at least 21 days, as well as backup 3rd stringer QB Chase Wolf, missing 3 games including the one in in the Big House against Khaki Pants and the Weasels. We are looking at the possibility of multiple cancelled games (Nebraska already cancelled). We may have to tie our hopes on 4th string Kimberly HS star Danny Vandenboom, an awakened run game, and a solid D. We’re Gonna Kick Your @$$ – predictions for the upcoming game OK boys, time to pour it on. These are the same ass-hole fans that are always jerks when they show up at Lambeau and it’s time to give it back. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to watch them cry into their “skol” chant this week because they won’t be at Lambeau. Sadly, neither will we. People will be staying away by the thousands. And Coach is gonna have to watch from the couch, and maybe do that last lawn mowing of the year. Hey Norm, whatsa difference between Vikings fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. Hey Norm, are you ascared a catchin’ the CORVID? Ja? Well jist hang in da Vikings end zone … nobody catches anything daer. Hey Norm, whatsa difference between a carp and a Vikings fan? Well … I supposed one iz a bottom feeding scum sucker, ’en I guess the other iz a fish. Hey Norm, why did the Vikings fan cross the road? I dunno, dat’s what I was wundering when I accelerated. This will be the first time since 2009 that the Vikings and Packers will complete their regular-season series by Week 8. Since 2008 (Rodgers’-era), the Pack has an 8-3-2 record against the Vikings at Lambeau Field, including Playoffs. And don’t forget, we kicked their asses up in St. Paul in WK1. The Queens were resting up last week, but waayyy back in Week 6, they allowed 40 points for a second time this season (first time was to us) when they lost to the Falcons, 40-23. QB Kirby Cousins threw three TD passes and the turd also threw three interceptions in a game they trailed wire-to-wire. A non-existent run game (32 yards on 13 carries) forced the Queens into a possession time under 22 minutes (19:53) for a third time this season. A great start to 2020 for the Queens! What the hell is going on over there in St. Paul? Most of the “experts” picked the Viqueens to win the Norris Division over the Packers, who were “just lucky” in 2019. Yyyyeahhhh… The Vikings made some big news during their bye, but not really what was expected. Some thought that Zimmer would be fired with the team off to its worst-ever start under him at 1-5, but instead the Vikings seemed to indicate they are in full tanking mode by trading defensive end Yannick Ngakoue to Baltimore for two draft picks. The same Ngakoue whom the Vikings traded two draft picks for to Jacksonville on the eve of the season. He had been playing very well with five sacks, two forced fumbles, seven quarterback hits and 12 tackles. There probably will be more deals coming by the Nov. 3 Trade Deadline. Also during the bye, the Vikings ruled out former Pro Bowl defensive end Danielle Hunter for the season. Defensive back George Iloka tore his ACL during a bye-week practice. Cook, meanwhile, was leading the NFL in rushing before he missed a 40-23 Week 6 home loss to Atlanta with a groin injury, but he is likely to play this week. Cook, who got a big contract extension on the eve of the season, has 489 yards and seven TDs rushing. The Vikings are 5-2 ATS in their past seven as underdogs. The natives are restless, Head Coach Miles Zimmerman is on the hot-seat and signing journeyman QB Kirby Cousins to a whopper of contract is looking even more stupid than it did when it was signed. Coach is pretty sure he’s discovered the real reason they suck even more than normal this year. Shown below is actual film footage of a Viqueens “session” (Click on Link). So … hmmm … what is the PC way to say this? The Viqueens have an apparent “attraction” to each other’s spandex-clad posteriors. I guess it’s an “attraction” … or is it an “orientation”? Well Coach is pretty sure it’s no longer a “preference”. (Or maybe it’s the other way around?) Not that there’s anything wrong with it, of course. From a statistical view, this will not be a contest at all. As you can see in the table below, during the 2020 Season we:
Throw in home field and we should be 14/15-point favorites. Historically we lead the series by 10 games and we beat them by about a FG on average. But Coach, how does all of that translate to this game? You only have to go as far as the QB Position to know who’s gonna win this game; we are going to beat them going away. Vegas doesn’t quite see it that way, they are “only” favoring us by a touchdown. Coach doesn’t really care; we just want the “W”. So let’s finish today’s lesson with some more fun: What do you call 53 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Minnesota Vikings. What did the Vikings fan say when they won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up?” What are the Vikings going to do after they win the Super Bowl? Turn off the PlayStation. Normally Division Games are close, but not this time. The Queens have already quit on Zimmer. Packers 34 Vikings 17 Chevon McNuggets - G.O.A.T. facts to chew on JB – Packers you forgot about, but stories you’ll remember about them This week Coach salutes a funny character and superior athlete who excelled at linebacker for the Packers. Fred Carr was the No. 1 draft pick in 1968 (Vince Lombardi’s final Packers draft class). Lombardi considered Carr the most talented athlete in the draft. He didn’t play at a position of particular need, but Lombardi felt Carr’s talent was too impressive to pass on. Carr stood 6-foot-5, weighed 238 pounds and could run a 4.7 40-yard dash in full gear, according to Lombardi. Over a 10 year career in Green Bay, Carr never missed a game. He was a defensive captain from 1975 to 1977 and was named to the Pro Bowl 3 times. He was inducted into the Packers Hall of Fame in 1983. Carr also had a bigger-than-life personality.
"(Carr) was one hell of a character," former defensive end Alden Roche said in a 2001 interview. "He kept us laughing. This guy was always joking or harassing somebody or something. You remember the year Ted Hendricks was there? Two all-pro linebackers. They hit it off good." It was Hendricks' only season with the Packers, and he and Carr couldn't have complemented each other any better on the field. It's also hard to imagine they could have pulled off any more pranks than they did off the field. "They go buy a car during training camp," Roche remembered. "I think they paid $150 and bought an old white Edsel or something. It's summer time and I think it still had spikes on the tires for snow. After training camp, they go get an apartment together. "So every morning going to practice, Fred would drive the car. It was a four-door car and he'd get the paper and open the back door of the car and let Mr. Hendricks in the back. When he dipped in, Fred would hand him the paper and close the door. Then Fred would drive off to practice. He did this three, four days in a row. One morning he drives off and he drives backwards. And he keeps driving backwards. Ted is back there trying to read the paper and he says, 'Fred, what the hell are you doing?' They're driving down Lombardi Avenue backwards with Ted in the back screaming. "There's a cop on the corner and he saw them and took off after them. Fred made it to Lambeau Field and they jump out of the car and Ted Hendricks goes to the policeman and says, 'Look officer, we're late for practice, here are three tickets to the game.' Those guys were characters. They were a riot." Joking aside, "He was something," the late Pat Peppler, who ran the Packers' personnel department from 1963 to 1972, once said of Carr. “In practice, he would go out and play corner and cover receivers all over. He was all over the field. Could jump. He'd play that weak-side linebacker and knock down passes to the corner. We knew he wasn't a rocket scientist. But, boy, he was a good athlete. He could run like a deer."
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Author"Coach" is the insightful collective brain and funny bone of a few legendary Packer fans who provide everything you need to know (and what Packers beat writers often plagiarize) about the Green & Gold, plus a weekly guest appearance by The Badger Underground. Archives
November 2022
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